The Weekend Wash-Up | Rucking Hell | Round 17

It’s time for your weekly fantasy therapy session, it’s time for the Weekend Wash-Up!

LEGENDS

Sheezel (154) – B2B 150’s is Rocky/Swan/Titch pig areas. He’s getting better and better, averaging 40+ disposals 10 marks and over 8 tackles in the last two?! Doing it all. 91% TOG too! LEGEND.

B.Smith (126) – Dare I say unders? Baz was brilliant again for those who held him, unfortunately that VC score may have ended up costing coaches some points! We’ve got him, they’ve gotta get him.

Ashcroft (120) – An accidental stroke of genius by myself, Will has now averaged 135 in his last 3 and 117 in his last 5! It proves playing the fixture game can be key, and he now has Essendon next week on the back of a 150 against the Tigers plus two monsters against Geelong and Sydney. Look out.

Holmes (105) – It’s barely legendary areas, but considering how inconsistent our defenders have been recently Homma is getting it done and is a clear must have.

Dunkley (115) – 14 tackles, is Dunkley back or is this just a hot 2 weeks? It feels unsustainable, but also can’t be ignored. Essendon up next, he has to be the value midfielder of choice if you’re shopping in dirty areas.

Dale (138) – The tag fear was fair against Sydney, a tough fixture at the best of times. Bailey’s response? A monster 138, L5 of 105 and after a likely Eagles tag, faces the Suns and Richmond. He is pushing well into the top 6 defenders.

Grundy (130) – It was Grundy who put English on all fours this week, what a belting. Ladhams is gone and we can rest easy with Grundy at R2, for now…

Warner (98) – Given I missed last week, can I just shoutout here that Cheeksy has averaged 111 in his last 5!!! Monumental. (The cliff is coming)

Dawson (126) – 27 disposals, 7 marks and 8 tackles is exactly why Dawson is such a gun fantasy footballer. Continues to dominate.

Laird (106) – If only Lairdy could push on after half time… He has still been great!

Pickett (104) – Melbourne ride or die with Kozzy’s performances, he remains a top 6 forward despite the inconsistency. Unreal player.

Jack Ough (37) – Great name.

Z.Uwland (146) – Holy hell, keep this performance in mind when selecting our 2027 sides. Now I can see the Errol comparisons, he’s not cramping anymore…

Noble (130) – I can’t bring myself to join the John Noble rollercoaster, but it has to be said, the highs are bloody high. Another monster!

N.Daicos (111) – A legend for those who didn’t take his captaincy score and rolled it into Nas… He remains awesome, obviously.

G.Hewett (114) – Don’t look now, but George Hewett has come back into the Carlton side under Josh Fraser and is averaging 103 in his L5. Just ignore the fact he had Essendon, Eagles and the Tigers.

J.Smith (100) – Epic performance by an epic player, and thanks to Mini’s efforts he has to be leading the rising star race. Gun.

Merrett (116) – Moved into the middle in the second half, the Bombers are just way too sh*t for Zach Merrett to be playing half back. Regardless of where he plays, we know Zach will score. Get him out of there.

NWM (160) – Bloody hell. Piggish areas, Nas is racking it up everywhere and despite the tag concerns coming up, he vindicated why we all ruined our teams to make sure we could chase him this week. LEGEND.

Hill (159) – I flagged Brad Hill’s move to HB before their bye, and with Jack Sinclair down he is clearly taking his role. Congratulations to anyone who went early, it was a genius move. The fixtures are tough but the role is great and he has TPP! It’s tempting, he was going step for step with Nas!

Hall (152) – Essendon need a new colour on the scale because this is simply ridiculous. Max Hall had 79 points in Q2 to end the 1H on 117!!! Max had been slowing down but this was awesome, just flag the fixture.

Marshall (118) – This actually bucked the trend of rucks struggling v Essendon, understandable when you see Rowan only had 20 hitouts! 20 disposals and 6 tackles is what Marshall does, he’s back as the number one ruck and loving life. We know he can be a 120 guy in this role, only now he’s a forward with a 7 in front of his price tag. Must have?

Garcia (115) – Just quietly, Hugo Garcia is averaging 105 in his L5 and is dominating! One to note and watchlist for next year.

LOSERS

English (53) – What in the actual living ****. Grundy literally retired him, I cannot believe it has gotten this bad. Then again, absolutely I can. Because I own him in the ruck. It is a genuine curse that is now even threatening players careers. Incredible stuff and incredibly embarrassing. 

Cameron (13) – I think it’s fair to say Jezza may be in trouble with his arm for the rest of the season… Draft disaster.

Bontempelli (63) – I’m not sure what to do with an effort like this on Friday night football. The Bont is a shell of his former self and a shell of a footballer right now. He’s getting a free ride too. Disgusting.

Budarick (15) – Season over and another draft bullet! Incredible that we got those great scores earlier in the year, what a blessing.

Yeo (22) – 7 disposals and 1 clearance playing full time on ball. It’s time to move on and get Francou in the guts permanently!

Day (66) – The Hawks disappeared and so did Will Day. It was bound to happen and it’s why he’s priced where he is, value for a reason.

Windsor (36) – Just thought I’d throw this in here for a laugh. Value next season?

Whitfield (67) – Predictable. Firstly that we have a forced trade to a popular premium, because we’re not allowed any sense of relief and joy in this game. Secondly because this happens to Whitfield once per season, and the concussion history has to be an issue. It should be a hold given the issues that need fixing and his return against Essendon, but will it just be a one weeker? He was on track for a 130 here and can’t be put on your never again list, he’s too good when fit.

Darcy (31) – RSE – Reap, sow, etc. That’s what Freo get for ending their clubs record win streak bringing back Sean Darcy for reasons known to nobody that has watched a single Docker game this season. Genuine self torpedo, Luke Jackson can be the best ruckman in the competition if we just let him? Remarkable, and it looks like they’re going to die on this hill.

J.Daicos (84) – After a hot first quarter Josh continues to find new ways to disappoint. He can never quite put it together for 4 quarters in fantasy.

D.Cameron (68) – It is amazing the ability I have to take ruckman, even blokes who have averaged three figures in the past, and turn them into absolute spuds. It has to be on me at this point. Get him out of my side!

De Goey (62) – Don’t slip back into old habits De Goat… On watch.

Rowell (82) – Dead average score from a dead average footballer. Harsh, but what am I supposed to do with this?! 4 tackles and 6 clearances? Priddis might just have him beat.

Petracca (84) – Not a bad score for a rookie.

Newman (88) – Applying the Richmond scaling, this is a 66 by Nic Newman. Easily 50 unders and not good enough.

Walsh (69) – That makes this a 52! Sam Walsh just finds new ways to disappoint his owners, he HAS to go onto the never again list. Ugly stuff.

Banks (56) – Speaking of ugly. Considering how few points Carlton are giving up and the fact Short was their best defender with 59 says a lot, but Banks plays for Richmond and we knew this. He is also a professional dodgeballer. We paid up for Richmond’s Liam Duggan. Someone put it well when they said they didn’t even know it was Banks who was on the screen injured until the commentators mentioned his name. I had never watched him actually play football and I hope I never have to again, see you later mate.

Setterfield (27) – Lol. I think we can safely say Setterfield doesn’t quite have a position if it’s not in the midfield (19% CBAs, 79% TOG).

Parish (42) – Put him out of his misery and send him packing to join Tsatas in the VFL to rack up 40 each.

Durham (69) – Good player but this was a reminder he plays for Essendon who will not touch it. Keep that in mind.

Xerri (56) – 14% CBAs, it’s over. Port are also proving a tough matchup for rucks with Sweeta, a note for Marshall next week.

THIS GAME SH*TS ME

The rucks… I can’t wrap my head around how bad this has become. Was it full blown fantasy coaching malpractice for me to own Brodie Grundy, Tim English and Darcy Cameron at the same time? Clearly. Could ONE of those last two just show an ounce of ability for me? I have ruined Tim English’s career holding him to this point. -$355,000, averaging 84.6 (Not accounting for the 6 games he missed, although McAndrew probably averaged more). I am doing my best but my job has become untenable at this point, I think the sack is coming. They’ve cost me a cap again, stay tuned for what I do in 2027. I’m bringing back Briggsy. This game sh*ts me…

THE OTHER BITS AND PIECES

2294, ranked 2k, my team is actually performing alright outside of the Banks and rucks disaster. They should have been sorted weeks ago but forced trades have us going in circles every week.

It’s a genuine joke at this point but all self respect is gone for my side, as Tim English has to stay. Who’s worse, English or Banks? An impossible question. Almost poll worthy. If you don’t laugh, you’ll cry… Harry Barnett will be an upgrade for me this week.

Cameron -> Barnett

Banks -> Wilkie ($300k in the bank, still)

Onto next week hey! 2026 is the gift that just keeps on giving…

Want to share your classic this game sh*ts me stories over the weekend with like minded coaches? Join the wash-up fantasy community over on discord! If you don’t laugh, you’ll cry. We’ll be heating up throughout the pre-season heading into Round 1, get around it…

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