DT Dick of the Week – Round 4

Howdy Fantasisers, I hope you all had a happy and safe Easter and that your teams did MUCH better than mine did, both in Fantasy and the real gear.

There was some heavy action again on the weekend and this last one made my feeling stronger that scoring is down a bit across the board this season unless you’re Timmy English, a ruckman playing against the Eagles or you’re Clayton Oliver.  Maybe I’m wrong and this piece is no place for real in depth analysis but its just a vibe I’m getting.  Perhaps its just that I’ve never had a worse team than this season and every lever I pulled this preseason was a trap door and not a pot of gold.  But there’s nothing more boring than hearing about someone else’s Fantasy team so let’s get to business.

Once again there were a plethora of options, good and bad, to choose from this week.

As with last week I want to start on some positive Dicks, those guys who’ve made those who doubted them look like Dicks rather than actually being Dicks themselves.  This is still Dick-worthy though so they’ll get a mention now.  First up is Timmeh English.  I thought he was an obvious target for early upgrades prior to the season kick-off and was high on my radar, and I’m sure everyone else’s who didn’t have him.  Those of us who didn’t were either waiting out a couple of tough games or looking to upgrade in to him after a bad one which we were sure he would have.  I even delayed getting him this last week because of a tough match-up with Nank in the wet.  Wasn’t that a great idea!  145 point slater the big white stick made me and many others look like a right Dick.  Nice start Timmeh and more power to your good self you freakin Dick.

Nick Daicos is another who we all had on our radar regardless of whether we started with him or not and the “or not” crew we all waiting for an early tag or down game and were going to jump then.  Well we’re still waiting for it.  There’s no distance this guy won’t run to get a handball off a teammate and no teammate who will not give the ball to Nick no matter what position he’s in relative to them which is absolute Fantasy GOLD.  When he doesn’t have the ball he’s constantly moving to somewhere the bloke with the ball can give it to him and he has his elbows welded to his hips and his hands flung out to the side demanding the ball at all times.  He even gave a teammate a glare on the weekend after he’d been ignored but said mate had kicked a goal.  This won’t stop and if you don’t have him he’s making you look very dick-ish.  Great stuff Nicky D!

Now though we get in to the negative Dicks, and we stay down back and plonk a dong at the foot, or on the head of Andy McGrath.  Up until this week he’s been Dick adjacent as he’s fluffed and farted around to decent but not good enough scoring each week.  Many went with AMcG instead of Naicos to save cash at season’s start as he was over 20% owned early days.  Andy made my pre-season list and still made my run on team to start the year which shows how well I’m going.  He’s been about as effective as a tissue paper condom for owners this season and was peak Dick on the weekend with a 65.  In a game where so many loaded up at HB for both sides the Mac Daddy decided he’d guard grass and point at butterflies rather than get the pill.  I watched in amaze-balls as a Fantasy stiff in Sammy Draper got over 100 this week but the relevant thing to Macca was this 103 for Sammy included a mark at HB.  He took this mark pretty much uncontested and his mate Macca just stood dead still behind him and pointed to where he should kick it.  No, he didn’t do what every single other HB in the game does, and all others were doing that day, and run past for the HB, nope, just stood there like he was allergice to yellow leather.  Incredible!!  Naicos would’ve run 100m to get the ball in that situation and Macca wouldn’t even move 3!

Sticking at Marvel in this game we also need to acknowledge another under-performing backman who also ignored the plethora of points on offer.  Once again it was Isaac Cumming who did anything decent this week and annoyed the hell out of any of his owners once again.  77 points isn’t disastrous but it aint what you’re there for in Fantasy Isaac.  Cumming was grabbed by any who did select him because of his large usage on kick-ins.  He’s definitely lived up to that side of things as over 40% of his possies this year have come that way.  The problem is over 40% of his possies have come that way and he’s doing almost nothing else to boost his scores.  Terrible Fantasy year for Cumming and his owners so far this season.

Stephen Coniglio started the year as owners would want with back to back Bradman’s but the last fortnight he’s been a worry.  His role is there, he’s around the ball enough, he had 81% of the CBA’s and was still in a tight orange rotation so what gives Cogs?  Game stye seems ok too it’s just that Conigs has suddenly grown averse to collecting Fantasy points.  As with Cumming before him, 79 isn’t a disaster but backing up off an 86 and only banking a top score of 104 warrants annoyance from owners and a dong in this week’s DoW list.

Fan fave Sammy Docherty was a buy down back we all made for his reliability and his likely gap bewteen him and the rest of the D1 options.  His recent history and pre-season form indicated he was a sure bet for stable and reliable Doc service down back.  There’s no way The Doc would disappoint.  And yet he has, and it’s now 2 scores in the 70’s which he only did twice all of last season.  Dongs shouldn’t be coming Doc’s way, not this often.  50% of the year now he’s chucked us 70’s, that’s Dick-ish in a big way, another DoW dong for Sam, especially as he would’ve been a very popular VC pick with an early trot this week.  Giving Sam a DoW dong is a bit like frying Nemo in front of kids so I won’t do it, especially as it seems he now may have been knee hampered during the last poor game for him.  Tough luck for Doc and his owners.  I’d imagine Naicos will be at 100% ownership by the end of the week or some people aren’t awake.

Another premo to again disappoint this week was Super Premo Rory Laird.  Coaches who took the plunge on Rory now certainly wish they hadn’t and those who didn’t are enjoying the lack of pain it’s caused them.  This game was made for Rory to spank out a big one.  Freo get plenty of it and seem to ahte moving it quickly so tackling opportunities were there but he decided 4 of the +4 action was enough for him.  Possies were everywhere but Rory just handballed and let others have the all the +3 and +6 fun.  With Premo Laird now only going over 100 once in 4 games, and an average propped up by the monster 142, keeping Laird now becomes a bigger risk than we’d ever thought it would be.  As we’re not at cow culling and upgrade time just yet, it wouldn’t surprise me if Lairdy sees his way out of many teams this week as coaches jump on better driven buses in rage or over royactionary responses to his crappy 84.

Some quick drive-by’s before we anoint this week’s DoW and 78 from Hayden Young continues his disappointing scoring start to the year, Macrae (89), Smith (83) and Bevo all did that thing they do on the weekend and let Fantasy Coaches down.  Another Dog to earn a dong is Liam Jones after he showed his coaches the middle finger again with a 30.  Seeing Jayden Hunt nearly rack up 100 made that from Jones far worse for some coaches as it was very much Jones or Hunt decision going back to Week 1. Tom Mitchell handing out only 63 points was DoW worthy as well and he’s been far from the sure thing he was touted as early on this pre-season.  A big dong goes to James Sicily who can’t skate by on 49.  He was VERY lucky not to be in the main DoW photo this week after starting off well in Q1 on Monday but then trying to lockdown as the floodgates opened from above and on the scoring and failing badly at that too.  Horrible scoring from him and coming off a monster that’s always hard to take for coaches.  Connor Rozee hasn’t given coaches what we wanted from him yet and only served up a 69 on the weekend.  It’s horrible to think that a 69 is a bad thing but Connor showed us how it can be.  To only match and not exceed his DoW regular teammate in JHF was bad form from Connor.

So now to this week’s DoW.  Honestly this week there were 4 blokes who deserved it outright and I couldn’t split them and couldn’t share it with all of them either so I’m expecting some deserved raised eyebrows at this pick as it will likely be a slight surprise to Dick followers.  It is my call this week to Dick Mr Lachie Neale from the BrisVegas Lions as DT Dick of the Week 4, 2023.  He’s been low-key dicking his Fantasy owners most of the season so it’s time he got the treatment in my opinion.

Lachie gets close enough to ownership threshold, especially as it was right on it earlier and his season to date has seen people drop off him like gate crashers at a wedding when the bar shuts down.  Lachie’s 2023 season has been as confused as Jobe Watson trying to string together consecutive cogent thoughts.  Lachie started the year with a stinky 72 that included 6 tackles but only 20 possies.  He then decided tackling was a waste of time against Melbourne and went marking instead and provided some hope with a 94 and was then back to somewhat normal conditions with a 104 against the Dogs in a loss.  But in a big win against supposed Flag favourite’s Lachie decided to try to keep his boots clean by only using them 6 times for a horrible 76.  The season so far from Neale gets him this dong as those numbers may well be why rage trades were invented.  He was potentially a value pick this season and it was the only reason to grab him but instead he’s stolen over $100k from any team he’s in and thrown cash away quicker than Andrew Dimetriou looking at expansion markets.

Lachie has never been a super reliable option for owners.  Even his peak year when at Freo and he broke the then AFL disposal records he plonked a 26 on owners in a final (yes I was one of them) when tagged by the Swans.  As soon as taggers arrive Lachie shrinks away like a dick in an ice bath.  If taggers didn’t disappear a few years ago he’d probably be Brownlow free and now taggers and coolers are coming back he’s big trouble for any owners.  I’m sure he has a few 120+’s still in him, even with Josh Dunkley and Lil Ashcroft there.  But it’s clear now he’s not the automatic 105+ for 5 weeks out of every 7 and just as likely to rock up to your Fantasy team meeting, look you right in the eye, crap on your team carpet and then walk straight out.  Rory Laird’s 50pt fiasco in round 1 kept Lachie DoW free but he hasn’t been able to avoid it for much longer than that.  In a very even week Lachie gets the Dow in week 4.

Now what to do with him?  Laird owners, Macrae owners, Smith owners all share the dilemma I’d say.  For Lachie though I think it’s time to fold.  He’s now way too flakey with his always low floor coupled with a now much more uncertain ceiling.  If you have the trades to do it without too much pain and without altering your structure then I’d be looking at options like the Caleb Serong’s at about the same price, a mini-jump to an LDU, Mills or Josh Kelly seems nice.  Going all the way up to the big and more reliable big dogs like Clarry or Andy Brayshaw would work too.  A POD like Brad Crouch could be a great result too or some DPP magic to fix another line might also be options.  Either way, unless you have big problems elsewhere, I’d be getting this problem prong out of your team and moving on.  Like too many of my calls this year, the problem was in picking this Dick in the first place.

That’s it for another week Folks.  A tough week to call I must admit and we now head in to the Gather Round over in Radelaide which should be interesting if nothing else.  Hopefully scoring increases (especially for me).  More importantly, hopefully we can get through a round of this great game without some young elite athlete copping a spray for the colour of their skin.  There’s no bigger dick move than that one but I’m sure none of the readers of DT Talk lean that way so no more needs saying.  Happy trading and good luck in those leagues.  Another week without a nomination this week from league play so you must all be playing in better league’s than mine.  Our league was pretty clean too so maybe that’s just the week it was.

Have fun Fantasticals.