The Sunday Knee-Jerk – Round 14

It looked like the apocalypse was occurring on Sunday afternoon, the ever reliable Champion Data crashed! I tend to think it was a blessing in disguise… It saved fools like me with any Brisbane players the pain of flat lines longer than the last Ice Age. However the reality check that hit when the scores reappeared can only be shared by Charlie Sheen. A round that was so promising on Saturday night had simply incinerated into flames by Sunday afternoon. How did we all fare, how many spuds do you want on the chopping block this week? It’s time to knee-jerk!

The Legends

BREAKING NEWS: An Eagles fan respects Jobe Watson (122). That can’t be right, they’re the booing scum of the Earth? Ok maybe not that far, but let’s not be naive, Jobe was going to get boos no matter who he played, it doesn’t mean the whole crowd got involved. He’s still a champion of the game and his 122 was better than all of our supposed captain locks! Legend. Gibbs (119) should have come into my line-up this week, hindsight tells me I’m an idiot. No second mistakes, he’s the biggest lock of the competition at the moment. Good defenders are nowhere to be seen. How was the game of Prestia (157)! 42 touches if you don’t mind, now there’s a DT name we will hear more of in the future! Griffen (136) did a fantastic job yet again, however I sense some tight tags coming his way over the next few weeks. Buyer beware! Finally I’ve got to give a shout out to Laird (108) and most importantly Terlich (112). The way our defensive premos are travelling Terlich could be sitting in my side for the rest of the season! Don’t underestimate the Dees new coach and easy fixtures, he looks a gun.

The Sunday Chops

I’m going to keep this short and simple. Vlastuin’s 0 gave me and many others a donut, something I will touch on in a second. That’s shit. So in the midst of the carnage surely our big guns will step up to the mantle! Swan (73). WHAT THE ****! I’ve been doubting his pig status as he is yet to reach 140 this season, however I didn’t see this coming. And there I was disappointed with captain Ablett’s 109! Lift your game, Swanny. Duffield (51) was unlucky. 13 minutes into the 2nd his owners would have been thinking, here comes my owed ton. Nek minnit, broken glass. Time to trade. A light hearted warning to Hibberd (69) and Ellis (72). Good defenders are hard to come by, even so they were pretty poor. But nothing like Selwood (38). There’s a tagged score when you score 80, then there’s an off day when you score 60, then there’s Selwood’s effort on Saturday night. Disgusting is the best I can come up with. Shithouse is another term for it. Fyfe (76) has been nothing but average for those who brought him in with a great draw to come. The thing about having a good draw is you have to be in form to capitalise. Dump! Finally the Brisbane pair of Zorko (57) and Rockliff (63). Rocky may escape my axe at F7 as Voss continues to spread his disease throughout the comp. Not much more to say about these 2 and their shitness, just look to get them off the park ASAP!

The Clown

Diving. Seriously, the amount of whining I heard during the qualifiers as I had to endure the consistent complaints about soccer and acting. Fact is, it’s creeping into our beloved game of AFL. Jack Watts was the biggest clown in the land last week with his superman dive, now I see Reece Conca get hit in the stomach, before throwing himself to the ground and holding his head. Really… Eliminate it from the game before it spreads, clowns!

What we’ve learnt?

• Any game with a margin of more than 5 goals is pretty much unwatchable without live DT scores.
• Swan’s score was more painful than taking the knife out of Julia’s back.
• Don’t be greedy. Always take a 120 from your captain!
• The GWS tactics of 10 men behind the ball were about as effective as trying to cross the Himalayas with nothing but a packet of tim tams and a good knitted sweater.
• The Orica Green Edge team should probably think more carefully about what bus they buy.
• Quite seriously, this is as close as I can come to my Vlastuin late withdrawal reaction.
• Crowley is to DT what tomato is to a burger. It’s simply annoying and makes for a less pleasurable experience.

This game sh*ts me

Naming players on a Friday afternoon that WERE NEVER GOING TO PLAY! WHY! I cost myself 91 points by backing in Vlastuin to play today. Now I admit I made the wrong call but seriously, if they haven’t trained all week (according to reports) and a player leaks that he isn’t going to play as early as Saturday, JUST NAME HIM OUT! Wouldn’t of thought it was that hard, instead I’m left eating a donut. And that’s why this game shits me.

The other bits and pieces.

Well after such a promising start had me sitting on 15/1632 on Saturday night, my remaining 7 players only just averaged 60. Talk about a choke! 2068 held me at 68 (somehow) but next week’s a new week! Good Matt, no shit. It’s the only positive I’ve got! Hope you all fared better than me, if not then feel free to vent away in the comments down below. Cheers!

Tread carefully Brandon, you don’t want your public image to reach that low. Enough geling the hair and get scoring again!

If you enjoyed my raging and want a hittable punching bag when sh*t goes tits up, follow me on twitter @MattCraigDT. My views are honest, mostly helpful and occasionally entertaining! Also hit me up with any suggestions for who you thought were the Legends, Losers and Clowns, plus what you’ve learnt the past week. I value everyone’s opinion!