The Weekend Wash-Up | Death, Taxes, Ruck Drama & More Forced Trades | Round 18

I think we need it. It’s time for your weekly fantasy therapy session, it’s time for the Weekend Wash-Up…

LEGENDS

Xerri (146) – 80% CBAs is the big takeaway, the Big X man was back! I’m glad to see we have put to bed the CCJ and Trembath experiment.

J.Daicos (144) – I think we can adjust North on the scale, they are starting to revert to the Norf mean. I didn’t see this coming from Josh and it takes his L5 to 111! Impressive and I owe him an apology.

Sheezel (124) – His last 5… 139.2. Piggish. An easy backup skipper next week, bizarre to me that he still never gets tagged! Legend.

Cameron (121) – What a total p*sstake. Look at his last month, how could we see that coming. Story of 2026.

Parker (105) – Immense save and Parks is getting it done.

Wilkie (140) – 34 disposals, 13 intercepts and a lazy 16 marks. Cal Wilkie is dominating and despite the easy last 3 weeks, has looked fixture proof all season. How do you stop 50m kicks going backwards to full back? The Saints all own him and it’s a beautiful watch, he’s a genuine gun. Averaging 107 without that injury and is borderline D2 for just over $900k.

B.Hill (134) – Half back, tick. Visible thirst, tick. Bulk kick ins, tick. TPP and a forward, tick. F2? He won’t be as good as the last 3 weeks, but he is looking like a borderline must have. How easy is that role!!

Marshall (134) – 118, 134, into a Geelong ruck matchup where Kieran Briggs just went 130. Get out the record books. 29 disposals and 11 marks, thank god St Kilda wasted his season.

NWM (119) – A quiet one this weekend for Nas, almost disappointing. Legend.

Briggs (134) – Good on him, but let’s be serious here. Shannon Neale looked like he had been lobotomised. Romo 160 is on the cards.

Ash (118) – We don’t love seeing HH on the kick-ins, Ash is being robbed on 130’s and still getting it done.

Mannagh (130) – How many blokes can claim multiple games of 30+ disposals and 4+ goals in a season? Mannagh has a ridiculous ceiling, what a player.

B.Smith (120) – When a 120 almost feels disappointing, it’s getting close to pig territory. Must have.

Holmes (118) – Homma has an awesome run home and he started well here, another must have.

Newman (105) – After last week’s 88 scaled to 60, this ton scales to 150 in a genuine monsoon. Gun.

Walsh (114) – Better, but he still owes his owners more.

Day (102) – Check the fixtures… It’s a play.

Macdonald (114) – It’s also a play, forgive and forget I say.

Rankine (138) – So much for Adelaide easing him back in… Full time mid, most CBAs and 87% TOG in a massive win. He’s the definition of high risk high reward, but we will need him in 2 weeks time… If he makes it there.

Berry (126) – Been an awesome draft pick all year, fair play!

Neale (153) – Lachie Neale has been incredible all year, and Brisbane’s fixtures are a pisser. L5 111 and a serious option.

Ashcroft (142) – I just need to know the switch Will Ashcroft can flick. He goes from train tracks Will, worst dual norm-smith (lol) you will ever watch, to the best player in the comp in a month. Nailing the highest scoring player in my side as skipper on a Sunday evening made up for all the pain, that last 5 minutes was full blown piggery. Now we just need him to care about winning a Brownlow one year. L5 126 and a must have in this form. 

LOSERS

Jackson (78) – Last week it was Darcy, this week it was a bloody tough matchup. Grundy also struggled, who would be your alternative? LJ punishes easy matchups and I would back him in as R2.

Heeney (88) – It’s harsh, but we’re at the pointy end of the season and without any tag attention in the game, Heeney disappeared in a hot finals like game. Not the first time. Needs to be better…

McKercher (64) – Say less.

LDU (63) – Ed Allan is a tough tag matchup, and I can’t figure out why Sheez is never tagged, but LDU has to be on 100% of never again lists. No brainer.

Daniel (58) – If this doesn’t prove that Richmond and Essendon are outlier matchups I don’t know what does. Vertically challenged potato.

JHF (93) – Port are on the soft tank already by not challenging that suspension, we just cannot catch a break.

Newcombe (66) – Forget the fixtures, Jai is not a play.

Hewett (27) – You couldn’t have set up more perfect conditions for George Hewett to dominate, and he was flying early. 2026 genuinely sucks, I don’t know how you deal with a POD injury like this amongst the other carnage.

Anderson (92) – It’s back to sh*t Noah, he is saving face with these last quarters. The Suns suck, and this is why Anderson never matches those top line mids.

Laird (55) – Adelaide said he has pulled up OK, PLEASE let that be the case. This would be too much. Sometimes your fate is taken out of your hands.

Petracca (65) – And sometimes you fall for the same trap every season. We know Christian Petracca is a worse footballer than cook, and that’s saying something. I saw it coming and still fell for it during the byes, this is a confirmed never again list for me. I don’t care what his price is. See ya.

Noble (68) – Listen, we never expected the John Noble rollercoaster to be a pleasant experience. But this is brutal. I think it’s just a cork, but that doesn’t ease the pain of another 60. The Suns are cooked.

Tim English (-) – Thank you so much, the gift that keeps on giving.

Gawn (104) – Let’s face it, not good enough! Jealous non-owner speaking.

Banks (67) – Genuine state league footballer and that might be being generous. We did it to ourselves.

Pickett (78) – Scales to a 60 with an abysmal Q4, that effort hurts with a tough run of fixtures ahead. He would be a trade candidate in any other season.

Dunkley (75) – Yeah, Dunks isn’t back. If it’s not congested he ain’t touching it.

Durham (77) – Let’s be clear, this isn’t a dig at Sam Durham. But when you top score for your side with 77 who have gone 1-29 in their last 30 games, it’s time to rethink our sides.

Parish (55) – How is he still getting a game, what an insane club.

Merrett (35) – That reads like a typo. Zach Merrett 35 points. Unfortunately, that was one of the great hate watches for myself. Let’s all admit it, deep down we’re evil. Zach is clocked out and who can blame him, but how do you get rid of him? Carnage.

THIS GAME SH*TS ME

I’m bored of just complaining about injuries, but there’s one thing I’m really starting to realise is annoying when your season is already over. There are certain players in your team that you will personally despise. We all have that guy (most likely multiple). It gets to this point in the season, 6 rounds left and you just want to bring in players you like watching and enjoy owning in your squad.

Well we CAN’T EVEN DO THAT. No luxury trades for 3 months straight has tik tokkers, chefs and grass eaters alike staying in our teams, with the only alternative being to eat donuts. I know we all say we don’t care about our squads anymore, but deep down there’s a sense of pride that prevents us from giving up. It’s a disease.

Just give us a week where we can offload the trash in our sides and at least attempt to enjoy the final month of the season, please. This game sh*ts me…

THE OTHER BITS AND PIECES

2398 was an awesome score for me this week, but I can’t help and think I have burned the best squad I ever owned with straight up terrorist coaching decisions. TIM ENGLISH IS STILL IN MY SIDE. That almost ended in a donut this week, and yet my players are still dragging me to the top 1k.

My co-host ranking 21st with an almost identical starting side just goes to show how much of a trading game it really is, and I’m not very good at it…

I don’t have JHF, a bullet finally dodged. It allows me to finally be rid of Christian Petracca, a man who averaged 99.7 before I got him post bye, and has dished up 71.2 points per week for almost $1 million. Cheers mate. Brad Hill was a massive win last week, and I’m chasing his teammate Wilkie while getting on the Gulden bandwagon early, I like his late season fixtures. Errol will be a must have for Round 23! Tim English will stay, just because f*** the rucks. I’ve come this far.

Petracca -> Wilkie (Hill fwd)

Butters -> Gulden

Let’s hope for some more high-scoring next week without the carnage! Wishful thinking.

Want to share your classic this game sh*ts me stories over the weekend with like minded coaches? Join the wash-up fantasy community over on discord! If you don’t laugh, you’ll cry. We’ll be heating up throughout the pre-season heading into Round 1, get around it…

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