The Weekend Wash-Up | Wash-Up Exposed | Round 19

That’s round 19 in the books. Can this bloody season end already? As they always say, a quick article is a good article. It’s time for your weekly fantasy therapy session, it’s time for the weekend wash-up!

LEGENDS

Heeney (166) – 34 disposals (16 contested) @85%, 8 marks (2 contested), 5 tackles, 13 clearances, 5 goals 1. L5 113, L9 110. All after being priced in the $800s. Trust the ability, you bloody LEGEND! Thank you for getting me to 2k. 

NWM (151) – The most impressive thing about this performance was that Nas racked up as a pure midfielder, kicking two goals, having what I assume is a career high 13 contested disposals and 10 CLEARANCES! Man he is even better than I thought, jet.

Tom Green (110) – Fake legend this, that score was unders. Massive unders. Great real life game, not that it does us much good. You can’t average 3 tackles and expect to be a 110 guy. 

Whitfield (109) – Guelfi shut him down after quarter time but that didn’t stop Whit tonning. James Jordon is coming for him next week, then we launch.

Ash (107) – Death, taxes and Ash scoring 105-113.

Dunkley (133) – Have Champion Data changed a tackling interpretation here? I don’t watch Dunkley close enough to know, but I do know when I’m blaming Champion Data conspiracy theories it tends to suggest I have completely lost the plot. Good to have him back. 

Dale (128) – Against Brisbane in the wet?! Yeah, this game is a lottery.

W.Ashcroft (112) – Big game player, and if there was finals fantasy he’d be my first picked. Just don’t watch him run those train tracks on a Sunday afternoon against North. 

Moore (143) – 10 soccers! You love to see that, Dylan Moore had been disappointing but that is a gigantic effort in the wet. He’s capable of this, and not many forwards can say the same. 

Sweet (132) – Take this game and wipe it from the history books.

Grundy (129) – Ruck pig literally didn’t score after starting Q4 in the ruck for the first 3 minutes, with Ladhams subbing on and Sydney kicking away. I wouldn’t be surprised if the original plan was to sub him, not expecting North to be within 2 goals. This was a walk up 150, likely 160+ gone begging as skipper. Chasing the game was the right call, he had 62 hitouts to Teakle’s 5!!! Gun.

Sheezel (102) – Kudos Harry, seriously. Sheez has to watch Will Phillips get all the mid clock while he plays a genuine half forward graveyard shift. It’s embarrassing, the fact he gets to 100 is a testament to how bloody good he is. 

Pickett (106) – Probably averaging close to 110 when not in my side. Unbelievable player.

Taranto (124) – Yes I underestimated how bad Essendon and West Coast are, no we are not chasing Tim Taranto.

Reid (117) – Harley has arrived. Somebody needs to help him out there. A 2026 LOCK.

Mannagh (144) – Absolute jet. Take notes please Gryan. 

Holmes (121) – My boy. Amazed he wasn’t tagged, he’s too good. Light years ahead of Bailey Smith. 

Steele (119) – Remember what I was saying about losing the plot and Champion Data conspiracy theories? Well, I was genuinely asking who was rostered on to take stats for this game. If you think Steele averages 14 tackles a game, then he’s a must have. 

Daicos (162) – Boy oh boy wowee… Nick was back to half back and had a career best 43 disposals did he…? 48% CBAs, mostly in the last. Most kick ins for the Pies. That was utterly disgusting, he’s back off the sh*t list!!

Rowell (118) – What kind of fertiliser has been going around lately?! Looking at his tackle numbers maybe champion data have actually changed something, because these are impossible. Legend!

LOSERS

Macrae (61) – This is a far cry from my predicted 107.5, let alone 100… He had been kept afloat by unsustainable tackle numbers and now he is suddenly playing 60% TOG Hugo Garcia style. He is indeed looking old and washed at 30.

Coniglio (67) – There was a pretty consistent lesson learnt last week. You **** around with cheap forwards, you find out. 

Rowston (16) – It should come as no surprise that the week we desperately needed him, Rowston was vested. Be done with this sh*t rule please. The same can be said for Johnson and Liddy, although at least these blokes started in the vest…

Richards (72) – Ed is nearing Will Ashcroft work rate watch. Too good a player to dish this up.

Butters (76) – So Sam Mitchell has it out for Port. I can’t blame him. Nobody saw this tag coming, but we should have. The arrogant prick deserved it. Funnily enough, Butters wasn’t so chirpy last Saturday. Interesting… 

Newcombe (37) – Mid Season pick up for a REASON.

Parker (48) – Vindication. You can’t be picking Luke Parker at North in 2025.

Docherty (77) – Brennan sung it best…

Cerra (73) – I need 8 trades to get rid of Cerra this week. It’s a shambles. I got greedy, I got complacent, and here we are.

Petracca (70) – The shining light of bringing in a stupid cheap forward? I avoided Petracca.

Duggan (112) – A special place in AFL hell is reserved for Liam. It’s a disgrace. Boot McCarthy to the back pocket to have our skipper rack up cheapies who can’t kick or make a sound decision with the ball. Adds up. 

Owies (69) – I’m sorry but Matt Owies would drive an ammos coach crazy. He’d have 35 and 2 no doubt, but he belongs in C5. Seriously. Impossible watch. Making it this far without the ability to handball or kick is seriously a testament to his work rate and effort though.

Kelly (59) – Mini McQualter. WTF are we doing here? Tim Kelly will cop the blame for this, but all I saw was him getting sent back to the WAFL to prove he’s a MIDFIELDER, getting brought back as a MIDFIELDER, then getting sent to a permanent half forward flank where you may as well have me running around out there. Oh, and we lost the quarter by 8 goals to the second worst side in the comp. Great call. So, yes… Not my finest pick! Robbed of a 70-80 I say.

Smith (70) – I paid $1.2m for a bloke more worried about his tinder dates did I? He was probably running around with a blocked nose too. Disinterested. 

Stewart (50) – Street justice.

Brayshaw (90) – I think Angus was back running around out there. 

Anderson (78) – They just don’t make premium midfielders like they used to… Scoring under 80 without a tag? Almost impossible. Noah hasn’t laid over 5 tackles in a game this season, so unless he averages almost 40 disposals we can safely put a line through him as a top 8 mid.

Rankine (66) – HARD watch. Do yourself a favour and move on.

THIS GAME SH*TS ME

How many weeks to go again? My team is a legitimate rabble. I was already two weeks behind, and Round 18 has ensured I will be fixing up last month’s errors all the way until Round 24. And for what? To score just over 2k and slowly drop out of the top 10k? I had a donut and a 27 this week. The podcast is the only reason I haven’t put the tools down this season, she can be a loooooong year when you get it wrong. This game… sh*ts me.

THE OTHER BITS AND PIECES

2057. Which is slightly disappointing, because if I went lower than last week I was going to delete my team. That’s where we’re at. I have no advice to give anyone fighting for the top 100, you sure as hell know better than me. Don’t bring in Tim Kelly! See you next week legends, hear more of my total capitulation in the podcast. Content. Keep telling yourself it’s for the content…..

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