DT Talk DT Dick of the Week – Round 17

Howdy DoW’ers, late again I know and apologies again, I hate to add to the Thursday noise with selections etc but lets crack in.

We had a first this week in that we had 2 Dick free games.  Well DT Dick free anyway, Jake Stringer was out there in one of them so not completely free of dongs.  But in both the Crows/Bombers and Blues/Freo games, no one gave Fantasy coaches a real headache to deal with.  Sure, there was some down stuff but nothing that had us howling at our phones.  That has been very rare this year and to have 2 in the same round was a first for us here at Dick HQ.  The closest we got was previous DoWer Justin Longmuir in the coaches box for the Dockes.  He had a bloke in the ruck who was basically doing whatever he wanted with hitouts, including 20 to advantage, and yet he didn’t stop the Blues from winning clearances by altering structure or tactics.  He also persists with Fantasy gun Lukey Ryan taking kickouts and kicking it to the same spot 96.45% of the time.  On one occasion on the weekend the Blues players were already waiting at the Centre Square corner, Ryan then motioned that way and 4 Dockers ran to the spot as Ryan kicked it there, only to turn it over.  Special strategy work that.  As smart as this Ashes cricket tactic of us bowling 100% short balls to tail enders to bring the Poms back in to games.  The Ryan thing is Fantasy relevant because it simultaneously boosts Lukey to Fantasy gun when combined with his great intercept work and waxing with his good mate Brennan Cox.  But it has also killed off Hayden Young as a breakout for this year.  Young is so starved of footy he’s running all over the shop trying to grab some leather and has done his pins as a result so is out for a while now.

The good news from this one was Ryan’s 142 which was huge for his owners along with Sean Darcy’s 124, both in a horrible losing effort.  In the other dong free game, we had absolute GUN Zerrett going bananas for a majestic 150 which completely over shadowed top efforts from Jordan Dawson (128) and Darcy Parish (126).

Moving through to other games  Liam Baker (54) continues his brilliant efforts to take the Dick Bounce that was a thing and instead make the Dick Dive the big thing to take out of the second half of the season.  We didn’t anyone get the back to back DoW early days, but in the second half we’ve had plenty of efforts to double down on the DoW.  Cripps started the Dick Dive phenomenon but JHF, Baker, Smith and others have done great work in this space as well.  We have anther effort this week which absolutely solidifies the DT Dick Dive as a real thing.

As well as Bakes doing his worst, Gussy Sheldrick limped his way to a sad 46 which broke his run of great form.  Not DoW worthy but certainly a reminder that rooks ca NOT be trusted for long, other than the new and improved young Ashcroft of course.  In other sad rookie news, Jacob Bauer made his debut for the Tiges and got bought in to a few teams as a result.  Unfortunately for his he lasted about 3mins before having to deal with the injury sub.  Poor kid had a huge event ruined for him by his leg injury.  Sad for him and his family who made the trip over to see the big day.  Errol Gulden was the only one in this game to give a rats arse about his owners and he ploughed out a lovely 126 as a result.

Brissie did to the Eagles what most expected but under what some of us thought.  Only the Perth media could manage to call an 81pt loss a brave effort but the Eagles were still stomped badly.  Doing the stomping was the recently un-dropped Jack Gunston (127) who decided he was OK to play again.  Gutsy move from Jack to declare himself ready to rock with the Eagles in a home game on the platter.  Balls of steel in that Lad.  Honestly he almost got a DoW for that.  Lachie Neale (127) and Jayden Hunt (126) were keeping the scorers happy with their efforts.  He’s had some plaudits this year but not enough is being made of Hunt’s work I don’t think, either by Fantasy coaches or real world pundits.  On the weekend he outscored Jamie Cripps, Charlie Cameron, Andrew Gaff and Jack Darling COMBINED.  There are some AA’s and apparent “Stars of the Comp” in that lot and Jayden made them all look like I was the one playing in their jumpers.  Great stuff all year from the little Eagle and a great pick for his coaches.  Well done to you all.

Stevie Coniglio keeps making Leon Cameron look worse and worse each month as he boucnes back to form this year.  Imagine that Leon, playing a gun midfielder in the guts is actually a decent tactic.  I saw Leon listed as a potential Suns coach next year.  If this is true Touk Miller had better start working on his spoiling or goal kicking because Leon will have him down back or up front rather than winning the pill for his team.  God help the if that comes off.  Tom Green had a sad day in this one with a crappy 65 but his body of work this year spares him from ridicule.  He’s been great.

Speaking of great, our ruck Giant this year is not a GWS one, it’s the pillar of strength and consistency that is Big Ro Marhsall at the Saints.  Each week he’s had the spectre of another ruck listed in the squad who could come in and kill RoMa’s scoring.  But most week’s RoMa has said “hold my beer Pal” and done the business for us over and over.  His 148 on the weekend was a masterpiece.  This week he also convinced Jack Steele it was fun to go big and Jacky went along with it for a fabulous 146,  Maybe Jack is back.  He still won’t share a tonne with Brad Crouch who was a little down but this was great work from Jack.  NWM was again massive with 130 and he’s a real watch for a second year value plus pick.  Ex-Pig Brodie Grundy is a shell of his former self and has been donged so many times this year Paris Hilton is getting jealous.  64 from the big man was ugly Fantasy work.  Uglier still has been the ongoing form of Kozzy Pickett (26).  He had a full game out there again and didn’t get close to a respectable score.  He was a huge breakout candidate earlier this year but ever since he tried to remove Bailey Smith’s mullet from his body by launching himself as a rocket in to his head, he’s been a massive let down.  Was that hit a Gaff like turning point where he won’t play well again or is the fat contract he got (and deserved) weighing him down.  His now very low ownership saves him from greater column space here week in and week out.

In a game that was the reverse of the 2 earlier ones I highlighted as Dick free, the Port v Suns game had no one being a decent role model and was instead a game full of meh scores plus a few dongs letting us all down.  Dan Houston’s 74 was a little shady after kicking the great goal of last week but it was constant DoW candidate JHF (37) who really crapped in coaches hats.  He made sure to continue his work in the Dick Dive attempts by parking himself out on the ground for 64% of it but clearly doing very little moving towards the pill or getting hold of oppo players.  He’s collected more 30’s than Tom Cruise collects as wives this year and has to be one of the biggest disappointments of the year.  If he doesn’t win the DoW he’s going to be lucky.

The final game to deal with had its stars with Miers (128) and Atkins (126) doing the biz for Draft owners and Mitch Duncan (128) and LDU (122) throwing up their cases for increased Classic relevance.  LDU was a welcome rebound and it was great to see him remembering how to football again.  He’s on the radar for a value pick in my starting team next year.  Which likely means he’ll be worse in 2024.  Jy Simpkin hurt himself again and stumbled to 23 in 45% of OG time.  The big loser for us here was Harry Sheezel with his 52.  Many have ditched Harry in recent weeks and they were celebrating as those of us who held hoping for a full year from him have been sent a reminder a rook si not a great bet for a full year of delight.

On the Dick podium this week we have 2 common names for these parts and a relative newcomer who took home the big win.  First up is the heavy hitter in the Dick Dive stakes in Bailey Smith with his 46.  Its hard to fathom how this much talent and proven scoring ability can be out on the ground for the vast majority of it but not get near the pill.  We’ll get to some reasons why in a second but by all things holy what the hell is going on here?  The mullet is flowing, the legs are pumping, the eyes are beaming but the scores are dropping.  He’s had a less than stellar year but his recent form has made Zac Dawson feel like he could come back and outscore him.  Week after recent week he’s been a horror show in terms of Fantasy scoring.  Can’t he think of the coaches?  I blame the next bloke on the podium this week which is why he’s not higher himself.

Yep, Hello to Bevo for another week.  Last week he dismantled the Dockers and did so by using, amongst other things, a rejuvenated Jack Macrae in the guts for CBA’s for a good stack of them.  This week, going up against a Pies mob in full flight, Bevo did it again, by not doing it again.  What he did again was try to outsmart himself by thinking that the Pie McRae would expect the Dogs to have the Bulldog Macrae in the guts, so he sent him forward instead.  To shock the Pies he took out the winner from the week before and sent him away from where he does his winning.  Now to be fair to Bevo, it worked for a decent stretch of the game.  But when it stopped working and momentum shifted, did Bevo surprise Fly by dropping Jack back in the guts?  No, no he didn’t.  He left him out of the mayhem and collecting morsels as though he was Rory Lobb.  Let’s be honest, there is no one worse on Fantasy coaches than Luke Beveridge.  I’m not breaking any news here.  This is Tom Browne level of surprising insight.  We ALL know it, the only difference between me and Tom is I’m not pretending I’m breaking it to you.  Bevo has squashed Macrae for half a year, let him fly for the other half, played Rory freakin Lobb on a wing which is about as perplexing a move as I’ve ever seen.  He’s killed Bailey Smith and he’s done that most recently by deciding that recently restored AFL player Caleb Poulter is better off up near the ball than Bailey is.  Has Bevo mixed up his mullets?  Are the Doggie assistance coaches too scared to wake him up to the fact Bailey is a gun and Caleb is a good?  What the hell are we doing here?  He’s a peacock Bevo!  You gotta let him fly!!!  (points to those who get that obscure movie reference, like me you should probably get out more).

But even Bevo and his body of work couldn’t out Dick this week’s DT Dick of the Week.  As much as Bevo kills Fantasy coaches week after week and affects selections, Captains and other big Fantasy calls, we can’t have a bonafide AFL premo gun player like Josh Kelly rock up to a game, lace up his boots, run around for a full game and score 30 freaking points in 85% ToG IN A WIN and not get the Dicking he deserves!!!  What in the ever loving crap is going on here?  The list of players this week who were a LOT better than Josh was this week is longer than the list of people who’d be scared to tell Brayden Preuss he’s a clown to his face, when he’s drunk and holding a bat.  I mean we all know there is tagging coming back into the games and Sammy Mitchell is leading that charge and has a couple of guys who are superb at it.  But how on Pav’s green earth does a bloke with this much talent only get the ball 6 times?  Josh is a rolled gold Rolls Royce and he had 4 tackles and 6 possessions on the weekend.  Credit to Pipes and his boys for collecting the win but if they pay Josh Kelly a match fee he could be done for theft!  He has more ability in the toenail he cut off before the game than 30% of the guys who ran out there this weekend.  That’s not a knock on them, that’s deserved praise for the ability this bloke has.  Pick a list clogger from another team in your mind, pick the bloke you wonder most earnestly how he gets a game each week.  Make sure that bloke isn’t a Sub.  That bloke is almost definitely higher on the scorers list than Josh was this week.  Not since Lachie Neale got tagged to a 26 at the SCG by the Swans when playing for Freo has a score mystified me as much.  I wouldn’t be more surprised if Gil McLachlan French kissed Andrew Abdo (NRL Interim CEO) at this years AFL GF half time concert while Meatloaf played in the background.  Amazing stuff.  Congrats Josh, a 30 of this type, injury free, gets you the Round 17 DT Dick of the Week.

What to do with this Dick?  Its carving season.  If you can’t sideways this bloke you’re not in the hunt so you can just ditch him anyway.  If you’re in the hunt you know much better than me but you can’t have him around again on sheer principle.  Cut him loose and bring him back after he’s had a good hard look at himself.  Seriously though you probably can hang on and hope for the rebound but there’s no way in HELL I would.  Which is likely why I’m as close to a hat as Brian Taylor is to turning down a public appearance.

Enjoy the week Folks, if you’re in Perth the Trader boys are around so be sure to look out for them.  Tickets for shows may still be around but they are the Taylor Swift of the Fantasy footy world so you may just have to stalk out their Hotel and hope for a selfie chance.

Take care out there Folks.