Connect with us

Weekend Wash-Up

The Weekend Wash-Up – Round 14

Let’s have some fun, it’s time for the weekend wash-up!

Having studied Economics and Finance for reasons still unknown to myself, I had to learn about such fascinations as compound interest. Basically, the bank will pay you interest for the original amount and the interest you have already received. Well now I’m going to create a new term. Compound Fantasy Weekly Suffering and Crippling Depression. You don’t just suffer that initial fall, you drop further and further behind in overall points every week. Here’s an example. I scored 2110 this week. That’s absolutely pathetic. Anyone in the top 2000 would be in tears at that score. Well I moved up in the rankings. I used to wonder how people managed to rank so low, well now I know. The pain just compounds. Hey, at least the footy was amazing!!! I didn’t really pay much attention to Fantasy scores this weekend so it’s only a brief rant in a new format, it surprises me there’s one at all. Let’s have some fun, it’s time for the weekend wash-up!


How can it be that we were genuinely getting better scores in Rounds 1-3 than Round 14. All logic is being defied, and it’s mainly due to our faltering premos. A few blokes did stand up however. Can we all give a standing ovation to Hugh Greenwood (122), because that is the kind of effort I expect to see players worth an extra $300,000 give. He was outstanding, and it was all from just 68% TOG. That’s going to mean he will dish up some poor scores, but with a ceiling this high he has to be in line for an F6 spot until finals time. Sadly the other rooks weren’t as successful, with Beech (48) struggling and Otten (33) auditioning for Australia’s got no talent. Matt Crouch (128) paid back his owners, but averaging just 103 he has a way to go.

Isaac Heeney (122) continues to make a mockery of his starting price tag, what a mid-season pick up he has been. I wasn’t sure if he could be a top 6 forward but that looks laughable now, lock. Jake Lloyd (116) is ripe for the picking, his actual average is around 105. In other news Brendan Goddard is an idiot, Dyson Heppell went missing, and Luke Parker made it to triple figures.

Treloar (122) proved why he was such a value pick last week. At quarter time I thought he was going to do me dirty yet again, but a huge recovery saw him maintain his 5 round average of 118. Top 8 mid lock. Sidey (124) continues to be an absolute gun, yet is still owned by just 2.5% of coaches. I’m going to request 22 midfield slots next season. Port Adelaide didn’t crack a ton. Shittard returned and was still sh*t.

A quarter of the GWS team scored 110+ and had a day out against Brisbane, sadly none of them are actually relevant. Of course my pick of the lot Josh Kelly managed to INJURE HIMSELF WHILE ON A BREAK. You’d think they would rest up, not hurt themselves at training. Lachie Whitfield (103) continues to impress, he’s Gaff 2.0. Greene (117) is a tease, Stefan Martin (104) played 1 quarter, and Rocky is still not sure whether he wants to be a pig or not. When you scroll down the scores in this game it will be like walking into no mans land. How does Zorko (45) handle a tag? About as well as Richmond handle a close game. 5 DISPOSALS. FIVE. It’s lucky he made 9 tackles, it was 80% of his score. Beams (5) is made of more glass than a greenhouse. Daniel Rich was a number 7 draft pick. Jake Barrett (39) was outscored by Archie Smith. Daniel Lloyd (46) proves that the NEAFL stat collectors use a random number generator. Finally, it is absolutely bloody hilarious not owning Heath Shaw (29). 22% of coaches do, about 1% of them are active.

The Bulldogs actually decided to score some Fantasy points this week. It seems a long time ago since they were the most Fantasy friendly team. Macrae (137) and Bontempelli (134) both dominated thanks to 10 tackles each. Great to see Macrae prove his worth, sadly Dahlhaus continues to forget he has feet. Tom Campbell morphed into Max Gawn for the day. Johannisen (64) continues to suffer from Norm Smith disease. Majak Daw is hurting Goldy’s scoring because Brad Scott wants to laugh at me. Mountford (44) played…..

My boy Dom Sheed (96) looked on track for another monster score before running out of gas again in the final term. He isn’t quite there yet but trust me, he’ll be an uber premium in the next couple of years. He tackles well, finds the footy and knows how to kick a snag. Definitely got a great Fantasy game about him. Luke Shuey (70) faltered for the first time, I’d be jumping overboard. Michael Hibberd (78) has regressed as a footballer since I traded him in, so no surprises there. Sorry fellow owners. Drew Petrie lead the scoring in this one so I’ll leave it there.

Dangerfield (134) continues to get on the roids down at Kardinia Park, or whatever the hell it’s called these days. Mark Blicavs (126) had 22 hitouts and 9 tackles and is one to keep en eye on. Menegola (124) made up somewhat for last weeks disgrace, while Michael Walters (122) continues to prove that my Fantasy team is genuinely cursed. However Fremantle still choked an un-loseable game and Walters missed a sitter to snatch it, so who’s the real winner here? Joel Selwood (2) surprisingly didn’t come back from the dead after this head knock, it was only a matter of time before one got him. I still own Tom Stewart (49) so when he was on 49 points midway through the second term, he had his eye socket fractured. My apologies go out to him, his family and friends.

Apparently Richmond and Carlton played at the MCG. Glad I missed it. Docherty (126) looked on target for 200 again but didn’t play fully fit 2nd half. Brandon Ellis (89) suffered from a disability in the last quarter. Trent Cotchin (70) doesn’t want to ruin the 2012 references. Toby Nankervis (61) is finally playing like Toby Nankervis, pity it’s 13 weeks too late. Marchbank’s time is up. Also credit where it’s due I’ve held Pickett (26) on my bench all year and he finally came back this week. What a win. Shame he LOST ME CASH…. The following GIF was genuinely me when I checked his score.

St Kilda and Gold Coast also played, and we can put this game into the Fantasy bin. Coaches now have a reason to drop Hanley (75). Newnes (97) couldn’t decide whether he wanted to be a Fantasy hero so he just decided to play 2 quarters. David Swallow (62) is still going to be cheap next year, for all the wrong reasons. Sadly Tom Lynch will never kick an AFL goal again now that I’ve traded him in. What a promosing career gone to waste.

Lastly Will Schofield got given 2 weeks for what can only be described as one of the most cowardly acts I have ever seen. If he did that on the streets he’d be lucky to escape without a swear word heading his way. You just can’t do that and I hope he has learnt his lesson. Anybody who really feels the need to argue between AFL and soccer can put their claws away, all sportsmen act to get their way and that’s just how it is. Move on.

I obviously don’t own any of these players and clearly I have no idea who to vote for, so I’ll just let you guys take the wheel. Here are your nominees for this week, get voting!

Who gets your vote?

This Game Sh*ts Me

You know what I don’t even care anymore. I’ve got a good draft team and boy it was a hard 3 weeks without them playing. So it’s not the low scores, the lack of effort, the lack of ability or the lack of respect my players give me that I take offence to this week. It’s the lack of clarity clubs give regarding injuries. Is Josh Kelly seriously injured? Is it minor? How did it even happen?! Did Scott Selwood even damage his hamstring at all? Why do we only get told this week that Fyfe was battling an injury the whole time. He could have been given the boot weeks if not months ago! If a player is injured just tell us, and explain it. It’s not rocket science. Of course by the time I found out Josh Kelly was going to miss I already had Aaron Hall out, Beech was locked in and I had to play Jarrod Pickett on my field. Pickett’s 26 was on my ground instead of a $660,000 premium midfielder. This game sh*ts me.

The Other Bits and Pieces

So what am I doing this week? Not a bloody clue. Probably enjoying the next few days before my players are back out on the park. My team has more holes than a Swiss cheese so I’ll probably just pick someone stupid and hope for the best. As always good luck next week, and feel free to release that rage in the comments. I’m always listening.



  1. anth80

    June 27, 2017 at 7:43 am


    Would you consider Bernie Vince. 408k is tempting for a player of his class. He won’t be a top 6-8 def but surely he’s a better option than Berry or Marchbank on out fields?

    • TJP's Heroes

      June 27, 2017 at 8:40 am

      I’m thinking of putting him as my Def8 this week

      • anth80

        June 27, 2017 at 8:50 am

        Don’t you mean D6? Or are you leaving him on your bench?

        • Simon

          June 27, 2017 at 9:31 am

          Vince is $408k for a reason. If you think those reasons are stupid, then pick him. I don’t see much upside, personally…

          • Plugger

            June 27, 2017 at 2:49 pm

            The reasons aren’t stupid for his being 408k and drawing attention to those reasons is good advice. He has been a real disappointment as far as fantasy scores are concerned. But, a lot of that has been as much to do with his role as with his form. The thing is, he has been playing back or ‘run with’ most of the season with the mid-field strength the Dee’s have. It is no coincidence that he tons up when given more mid time with Nathan Jones now out for a month or more.
            Fo those looking to climb up the ranking’s ladder rather than drift down a snake, I think he has to be considered. He was given more mid-field time, he responded, and Jones is out for a while. You would think he will have a changed role for the next month and better scores.
            Risk and reward.
            If I was only looking to take the risk on his ‘ton’, that ‘ton’ wouldn’t persuade me. The view of his up-side comes from a reviewed role while Jones is out and, the fact he responded well on the weekend to that altered role. Current BE of 56 provides a little short term insurance, too.

        • TJP's Heroes

          June 27, 2017 at 9:36 am

          D6 * sorry

          • MattyCrow

            June 27, 2017 at 11:12 am

            I’m thinking the same thing guys (Although after last year he was on my never again list). Shaw is another option..
            Personally I think it is worth taking the chance, started at $554,000 and for me I cannot afford anyone else with the cash I currently have, he is the best option around that price, unless I downgrade to a Withreden type.
            Bernie’s scores are a bit erratic and the fact he does tag worries me.
            He has 2×100 scores with 2x 90 scores from 12 games so it is a bit of a risk (the 1×47, 3×50’s and 1×60 scores are the worry).
            But if anything it’s a stepping stone to another premo come finals time as long as he doesn’t lose cash
            I was banking on Stewart at D6 anyway and he will be out so it’s a risk I have to take.

          • TJP's Heroes

            June 27, 2017 at 12:11 pm

            @mattycrow I was the same relying on Stewart or scharenberg at D6 but I’m hoping and praying that scharenberg is back this week and the next so it’s a stepping stone to a premo but as you said vince is about only decent option and capability of big scores option

          • MattyCrow

            June 27, 2017 at 11:26 pm

            Absolutely mate! Think Scharenberg will be back this week. Had a solid run in the 2’s on the weekend, feel he was very unlucky to be dropped anyway!
            Yeah for sure. The other option for around the same price is Johannisen (scores are a fraction more consistent. 1×100, 4×90’s and 2×80’s) however after the bye he is averaging only 47.
            Just think the trust for Bernie is there a bit more currently. Either option is an upgrade on Stewart though, I guess.

    • Matt

      June 28, 2017 at 7:20 pm

      Nathan Jones out certainly helped him. Don’t mind it

  2. Bigfoot

    June 27, 2017 at 7:52 am

    Hilarious! Love the Kevin Hart clip. It was just a matter of time until 30 mids weren’t premos like the start of the year.

  3. WestCoastUnuted

    June 27, 2017 at 7:54 am

    Great article again, Matt.

    Never give up!

    Rd5 I was ranked 10588
    Before the byes – 5660
    Now – 1378

    Anything can happen.

    • Foo Foo the Snoo

      June 27, 2017 at 8:15 am

      Wow…. how’d you do THAT?!

    • TJP's Heroes

      June 27, 2017 at 8:38 am

      I know the feeling!
      Round 11 my final rank was 6650
      Round 12 my final rank was 5687
      Round 13 my final rank was 4415
      Round 14 my final rank is 2814

      Pretty stoked with that!!
      By the way well done!

      • Travis

        June 27, 2017 at 11:44 am

        I’ve done similar but a bit higher up the board.
        Rd8 4687
        Rd9 2842
        Rd10 2041
        Rd11 1096
        Rd12 1232
        Rd13 740
        Rd14 331

    • Cake

      June 28, 2017 at 12:35 am

      Rd 5 – 26,100
      Before the byes – 7,811
      Now – 2,312

    • Matt

      June 28, 2017 at 7:21 pm

      I’ve done that in previous years. Difference is you’re 200 points behind then. I’m about 800 points behind now. #nochance

  4. TJP's Heroes

    June 27, 2017 at 8:36 am

    Love the write up this is classic well done!!

  5. Ravalle

    June 27, 2017 at 10:07 am

    Cheers Matt…onward and upward mate but in a selfish way I must say the wash up is hilarious when your struggling…let’s call it cumulative comedic value!!!

    Had 4 out of the 5 golden stubby nominee’s this week so ticked over 2400 for the first time this year…only problem money has dried up…want to upgrade Barrett but no other rookie is ripe to downgrade without putting a new untried rookie on field….so what are people’s thoughts on a double downgrade this week to try and generate some cash over the next few weeks…So thinking

    Darcy Cameron & Jake Barrett out for Witherden & Sean Darcy..

    On debut Darcy had an 80 I believe and was told he looked good, he might be good for 100k over the next 3 weeks… scratching my head on other options to make money…

    • Travis

      June 27, 2017 at 11:47 am

      Be cautious on darcy. Sure he looked good but sandi will be back in the next week or 2 so his spot could be under threat. Personally I’m stoked as owner having brought him in for preuss 3/4 weeks ago

      • Ravalle

        June 27, 2017 at 2:29 pm

        You have summed up the flaw in my plan Travis…even if Sandi could be out for another 2 it might be enough but sadly this week or next he should be back so think it’s back to the drawing board looking for cash generation!

    • Travis

      June 27, 2017 at 12:55 pm

      On another note did anyone see the stats about ruckman on debut? Dean cox most hitouts on debut with 15, darcy had 24 to half time ended up with 40! And the commentators even said at half time the biggest problem Geelong were having was getting monstered in the ruck, by a bloke on debut! Awesome performance, up’n’ coming gun ruckman of the future

      • The wolfs ludes

        June 28, 2017 at 12:04 am

        I think they were just showing the hit outs on debut by some past stars, not the highest on debut. Pruess had 19 hit outs in round 1 this year.

  6. Nick


    June 27, 2017 at 10:13 am

    I don’t comment every week, but I probably should – awesome write up Matt, I appreciate it every week. Sometime I even wonder if you pretend to have a shit team just for our humour!

  7. JJOker

    June 27, 2017 at 10:17 am

    Selwood , Zorko both in my team barely cracked 2000 . Next year it is

  8. Maggie

    June 27, 2017 at 10:30 am

    Matt, If you ever want a change from economics/finance, consider a stint in comedy – you’re a natural! Laughing Out Loud! Love your work.

    • Matt

      June 28, 2017 at 7:22 pm

      Not sure that will work out any better but thanks!

  9. Richard

    June 27, 2017 at 10:37 am

    Try leaving Greenwood on the bench and copping Shaw, Zorko, Heppell spudding it up for your quaddy

  10. Simon

    June 27, 2017 at 11:17 am

    I’m with you Matt. My team this year has been like that movie Titanic… every now and then I get a glimpse of something special – like Kate Winslet’s tits – but for the most part it’s this giant, useless, steaming pile of shit headed straight for the iceberg of disaster

    • Ravalle

      June 27, 2017 at 11:40 am

      Who cares seeing Kate’s boobies would be worth it lol…I know what you mean my team has had a few good rounds but mostly very average…Thanks Simon I’m off to find the Titanic DVD…

    • Burger


      June 27, 2017 at 2:44 pm

      Haha one of the funniest comments I’ve seen on here. You crack me up Simon. Thanks for the article again Matt although for what it’s worth I prefer the old format separating the Winners & Losers

      • Matt

        June 28, 2017 at 7:26 pm

        So do I, it let’s me get more informative. Sadly this week I didn’t have the time nor did I watch enough of the players to write it well!

    • Matt

      June 28, 2017 at 7:25 pm


  11. Whitelies

    June 27, 2017 at 11:47 am

    Hey guys, need some help determining which is the best trade option!

    I like option one because it brings in two decent players. Birchall is a risky move but underpriced. Option two is very tempting cause I really want Zorko in my team and option three is also tempting cause Treloar is value at the moment. What would you guys do?

    Option 1.
    Dayne Beams –> Bontempelli
    Marchbank –> Grant Birchall (under-priced and back from injury, looking good)

    Option 2
    Marchbank -> A. Witherden
    D. Beams -> Zorko

    Option 3.
    Marchbank -> A. Witherden
    D. Beams -> A. Treloar

    Option 4.
    Marchbank -> A. Witherden
    D. Beams -> G. Ablett (Too risky cause he won’t play every game and randomly gets rested/ruled out?)

    • the Cricket

      June 27, 2017 at 12:25 pm

      Option 3 – Treloar is cheaper than Zorko and will be a solid, consistent premo mid ie. you’ll be improving your team by getting him in. Plus, you’ll have some cash saved for future trades. Plus, why would you want to get Zorko this week when it’s almost certain that he won’t make his BE and will be cheaper next week?

    • Ravalle

      June 27, 2017 at 2:44 pm

      Gotta choose option 3 also…I reckon clearly the best options… Treloar may not have quite the ceiling of Zorko but more experienced at working through a tag and return you a 45….Don’t get me wrong I think Zorko is a fun but the weekend may be a pointer to the attentio he’s going to cop in the future.

      • Ravalle

        June 27, 2017 at 2:45 pm

        Lol Zorko is a GUN was meant to say.

      • Whitelies

        June 27, 2017 at 2:49 pm

        Thanks for the advice mate!

    • Lumma

      June 27, 2017 at 3:00 pm

      I agree. Option 3. Treloar’s price is going north, and you can afford to wait on Zorko.

  12. Toby

    June 27, 2017 at 2:25 pm

    Who to trade out of Nank, Barrett and Marchbank?
    Can only pick 2.Have $293K in the warne chest.

    • Lumma

      June 27, 2017 at 3:05 pm

      I’m getting rid of Stewart and Nank, leaving Barrett fielded. Nank and Barrett have almost exactly the same 3 and 5 round averages and Nanks BE is 26 points higher. Marchbank has lower averages and a BE between the two, but I would prefer to be relying on him than the other two.

  13. 1der

    June 27, 2017 at 8:37 pm

    Great write up again Matt, as always looked forward to and thoroughly enjoyed.
    Your season really gets down to if you did not start with Docherty, Adams, Mitchell, Merritt and Dangerfield you are bleeding approximately 20+15+18+15+10 = 78 points per week and on the back foot.

Leave a Reply





More in Weekend Wash-Up