The Weekend Wash-Up – Round 1 Therapy Session

Ohhhh yes we’re back again. Round 1 is in the books and in the cold hard light of late Sunday evening, our teams are looking far less appealing than they did before the weekend. Funny how that always happens. It’s time for our first weekly therapy session of the season, take a seat, let’s get started. It’s time for the weekend wash-up.

Legends

TDK (132) – Probably the easiest pick we’ve had in years. Everyone would have him. Right? 28 disposals, 30 hitouts, I didn’t realise he was actually an elite ruck as well. And the Blues are considering playing Pittonet? Jesus. Romo 2.0.

Nankervis (123) – Nank just keeps getting better every season… 110?

Caldwell (146) – 36 disposals, 11 tackles – I don’t know if he looked better or played better. He was in the tanning bed all week, oiled up and played like an absolute rooster. Shoutout to Andrew Dillon for Opening Round. He was a 110 guy is a full time mid role last year and he is the number 1 banana.

Amon (111) – Is this the year he makes the leap to three figures?

N.Martin (106) – The role isn’t as fantasy friendly, but he’s just a gun. Fwd DPP?

Smith (126) – If you didn’t pick Bazlenka in your side I think you’re beyond help, and maybe that’s why you’re reading this article. How did Geelong get him? Unfair.

SDK (124) – Sam, I wasn’t familiar with your game. Thankfully I kept the defender priced at $500k lining up as a number 1 ruck in my side, but that was cruel if you got spooked in pre-season. Unless you picked Sam Taylor. In which case justice was served. 25 disposals, 28 CBAs, must have.

Holmes (106) – Homma is simply elite, and still underpriced. Struggled to run out games last year too and cramped in the last. There is an untapped ceiling still.

Knevitt (103) – The last time I took notice of old Mitch was when he didn’t have a touch in Q1. You can imagine my shock when I saw he had tonned at the final siren! Tackles hard and doesn’t look like he’s the Jhye Clark Tanner Bruhn Elijah Tsatas Hugo Garcia Ryley Sanders mould. Beast.

Dunkley (130) – Great pick. Hopefully he can get rid of the 70s this season, because we know he has the 130s.

Zorko (112) – Was shifted forward at times thanks to Brisbane’s injury crisis, but still played the majority down back, had 4 kick ins and just kicked snags when required. Plays the Eagles next week at the Gabba, 200 watch is on.

Xerri (129) – 51 hitouts and just the 7 tackles, the spot just bowls people over then jumps on them. It’s a thing of beauty.

Simpkin (125) – 30 disposals, 7 tackles and a goal. 10 CBAs, he has this in him. Consistency is the key. We’re seriously lacking forward options and he has looked awesome so far.

Powell (121) – Tom Powell continued to do exactly what he has done all pre-season. A complete game with +6’s, tackles and multiple shanks. The turnovers are my only concern, because if he has this midfield role he WILL average 105+.

Sheezel (114) – Those who have him must be glad to have this bloke locked in their sides all season. I need to see how he starts going against the tags. Hopefully better than pushover Daicos.

Libba (108) – He was just always going to score well and was disrespected at his price. Gun.

Dale (104) – Had most of the kick ins and just continued to do his thing. Going to average close to 100 again this season.

Freijah (103) – Wow. LEGEND! By accident it seems I picked the Bulldog set to gain the most from Bont and Treloar’s absence. Forget Dale’s return, they shifted him into the middle for tissue paper Sanders and the results spoke for themselves with a 73 point second half! If he plays in the guts next week he may quickly become a must have. Unreal player and only 19.

Rozee (112) – His mysterious toe injury was enough to scare me away, but it seems we avoided a repeat of last season. Set for a big year.

Dawson (126) – Jordan Dawson is just an incredibly dominant footballer isn’t he? In the third quarter I was getting flashbacks to last season as he started like a house on fire, before sitting half the game up forward when he started to get tagged. Nicks finally figured it out, didn’t let him tag himself and he went and beat up on Windy. The rest is history. 

Soligo (125) – Can be a bit of a flat track bully, absolute mouse in a big game. That being said, he looks much better this season. Sneaky option.

NWM (113) – The dirtiest footballer in the AFL, can’t win a hard ball or hit a target but my god can he rack them up. Ugly game, great score.

Macrae (109) – Where are the people saying Macrae is washed, old and slow? If St Kilda didn’t have him out there….. One man band. 

Laird (107) – Saints still give up v defenders and Lairdy still has it in him. 

Rankine (107) – The hype on Rankine was so real, he is unbelievable. Dominated that game, played in the guts until it became a training drill and will average close to 100 this season. Must have. Future tags the only concern.

Gawn (127) – I tell you what, Max Gawn’s arm might be in a sling for the next week after that game. I don’t think Keefe let go of him for 120 minutes, and I was taking the names and numbers of those umpires. What an absolute disgrace. Should have been a 160. 

Losers

Hollands (72) – I think I’ll be kind and call it… Uninspiring. Certainly not the worst pick out there, but he may as well be a rookie. 

Shiel (78) – The biggest butcher in the AFL running off the half back. What could possibly go wrong? Could be a killer pick in your VFL draft team. 

Day (77) – It may be a new year but Will Day remains a better footballer than he is a fantasy scorer. I don’t know how Dane Swan put on the Will Day suit that one half but we’ll ride his price rises until the bye. 

Meek (63) – Ok, apologies to anyone who listened to our podcast and my Meeky hype train. I’m still on board, but Essendon are where rucks go to die. It’s amazing. The darkest of red matchups. He’ll be fine, but you won’t be given his upcoming bye.

Hobbs (57) – The worst AFL footballer I have ever seen discounting half the blokes who pulled on an Eagles jumper on Sunday. Will take the piss in the VFL and nothing wrong with that.

Tsatas (56) – The second worst. Wow. What the hell was I thinking?! PRE-SEASON FOOTBALL IS NOT REAL FOOTBALL. Tsatas would go down to your local ammos game and have 60 touches. He’s clean, has quick hands and just knows how to find it. Unfortunately, he is literally made of tissue paper, gets shoved aside by Cam Mackenzie and runs defensively like me going for a jog following 8 pints the night before. After he has just been feet up on the bench for 15 minutes!!!! No, it wasn’t Brad Scott holding him back. It was Tsatas being sh*t. Face it Bomber fans. As I have to staring at him in my fantasy side. Embarrassing.

Serong (85) – Following on from where he left off last season. Awesome stuff. 

Clark (81) – Zero kick ins and just a disastrous start. He needs Luke Ryan to go down to really take off. 

Ryan (66) – 5 kick ins, and he’s still shit. How good were those draft projections.

Reidy (37) – OK, sorry. Hobbsy, move over. 

W.Ashcroft (66) – I genuinely don’t have an explanation for this. Somehow, after winning a Norm Smith at 20 and averaging 100 over the last 7 games including finals, Will Ashcroft is covering the ground like he’s Ryley Sanders. Has he just had the off season of a lifetime? Probably, who can blame him. He was the 4th banana, only had 14 CBAs and looked disinterested. Bizarre. Eagles next week, chin up. 

Warner (66) – Cheeky Warner might turn it up next week after realising how shit eagles are. I wouldn’t be coming back to WA.

McCluggage (60) – 23 CBAs, number 1 banana, embarrassing effort. Why is he even in there? I guess it’s hard to question the premiers. 

Neale (37) – Total draft disaster, and I seriously hope nobody started him in Fantasy. That just isn’t right. James Jordon has his number.

English (73) – Complete and utter piss ant. Which should come as no surprise, he did the exact same bullsh*t last year. I would find it nearly impossible to not instant trade, the rucks scoring are too important.

Sanders (72) – Ryley might be the slowest man I have seen. Full treadmill vibes. He’s also weak as piss, and was rightfully kicked out of the midfield rotation in the 2nd half. It worked, lucky for us he also kicked a couple of snags! Long term I have major concerns.

Perryman (49) – I don’t think anybody but Collingwood supporters watched the second half of that game but can ANYBODY tell me WTF Perryman was doing?! 13 at HT. Completely hoodwinked.

Peatling (72) – Exact same boat as Ollie Hollands. Got extra midfield clock in 2H after the Saints had rolled over. Side note, Crom actually look great. Spooky season.

Marshall (64) – I feel confident in saying nobody on this site would have picked Rowan in classic and my god he will get cheap. Draft though…. That’s a potential killer. Praying he is right both for his draft coaches and St Kilda fans, as watching Harry Boyd run (and I say run very generously) around every week would be torture.

Hastie (40) – Subbed. Ross Lyon – d*ckhead. But we already knew that. Why does he still have a gig having achieved absolutely nothing?

O’connell (29) – Should have been.

Ash (63) – Alright, let’s have a little GWS rant. We’re idiots. Rant over. If you picked Sam Taylor to me you might be beyond help, I guess people forgot Round 1 actually counts for real points. However I also kid myself into thinking Lachie Ash isn’t the same c word he has proven himself to be every season of his career. Fine, I’ll say it. Coward. You just can’t be using Round 1 trades for spuds like this, it was just so dumb. 

Taylor (47) – I just hope the score and the trade was worth the price rise. 

Leake (14) –  Aaaaaaaaaaand it’s gone.

I’m not even going to comment on the Eagles Suns game as that wasn’t real AFL footy and the Suns have a bye next week. No I don’t care how well Jack Graham scored, I won’t be seen dead picking him. Moving on swiftly.

This game Sh*ts Me

Is there a worse rule in professional sports outside of the sub rule in footy? What a pisser. You’ve got debutants in the vest, you’ve got debutants named in the vest but starting the game, you’ve got debutants getting subbed out in the third quarter while they’re playing well and you’ve got 100,000 pissed off fantasy coaches! Who wants it? Who needs it?! Sickos like Chris Scott. It’s just a sh*t rule and manages to get worse every year. Get rid of it. For everyone’s benefit.

The Other Bits and Pieces

2141. Ranked inside the top 4k. It’s undoubtedly my best start to a season ever. 12 months ago I was sitting here typing through tears after an 1800 ranking me 60k, so despite a few inevitable capitulations this feels incredible. To anyone out there asking if they’re out of it after Round 1, trust me, you’re not.

Tying two hands behind my back on Friday night with Elijah Tsatas was just ridiculous, and even more so once Ashcroft was named to play. That would have freed up the cash to sort out my bench too. I don’t think there’s a value player in the game I missed, but the rookies are a concern with no Lalor, Ashcroft or Lindsay. Thanks to picking Ash for no good reason, I’ll be missing out on 2 of them for this week at least. Pray for Hastie.

Tsatas -> Ashcroft

Ash -> Holmes

Best of luck next week legends, as always may the luckiest man or woman win! Also be sure to catch the podcast if you have time, that was definitely my favourite so far. Having a rant and then laugh crying it out is why we play the game. Or at least it’s why I play the game. Cheers guys.

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