The Weekend Wash-Up | Hanging on by a String | Round 2

Round 2 is in the books and the pain and suffering is never ending… Strap yourselves in. It’s time for your weekly fantasy therapy session, it’s time for the Weekend Wash-Up!

WINNERS

Sheezel (131) – We love Sheez and his ability to find the ball is unmatched. Was it the most impactful 40 disposal game? Probably not. He also got sent forward and the Kangas suddenly couldn’t get their hands on it. We love his work, hopefully he can keep that pure midfield role…

Butters (144) – 36 disposals, 7 marks, 6 tackles. We know what happens when Butters has an easy fixture without a tag, and he has another chance to go big next week. Zak stepped up following Rozee’s injury to score 91 points in the 2nd half. Epic performance.

Williams (124) – Brilliant draft pick! He is dominating off the wing for the Dogs this year. 

Dawson (119) – Daws just gets it done. Those cheeky 3 metre kicks and finger nail tackles make all the difference. We’ll all need him at some point!

Berry (108) – A great waiver this week, Sam Berry is actually looking seriously improved this season and always tackles hard.

Uwland (133) – 29 and 16 marks! He was a draft winner this week, and it just goes to show how green the Richmond matchup is for defenders.

Short (132) – 33 disposals and 13 marks, bloody hell… Is shorty back?! Only 2 kick ins as well. He’s went up $46k and those 1.5% of teams are flying. The rules are made for him, I just can’t bring myself to do it. 

Ash (137) – So Gulden to Ash was the play… He is looking like D1 back there, take a backseat Whit (92). What a start to the season. 

Sinclair (122) – His role is truly disgusting and the Saints play a great fantasy brand. Sinc could go 110 and push D1, he had another 6 kick ins this week. It’s good for us fantasy coaches to see the Saints on the board with a win as well!

Steele (138) – Well…. Fair play. The man of steele was back and looked awesome, 72% TOG is still a slight concern for me but 77% CBAs is more like it. We know with a full time mid role he will score well, and as long as Melbourne have him in there he will be great. I’m sitting comfortable enough without him. 

Brayshaw (132) – Welcome back Bray. He’s looking like a possible bargain at $1M, but building that trust back after a 50 point effort is difficult… He has to be an option though. 

Gawn (127) – If I wanted to go set and forget rucks why didn’t I just pick the best ruck to ever play the game??? A question I will be asking for the remainder of the season, bizarre decision. 

Treacy (110) – Thrilla, Sam Darcy, you can add Treacy to the short list of key forwards who will dominate the comp over the next decade. He’s unreal. 

JHF (128) – 26 and 3.2, JHF has still got it. In the hammy era, trying to trust Hornbag seems impossible, but he’s a gun.

Xerri (152) – Well then… Who could’ve seen X dominating his green ruck fixtures?! His ceiling knows no limits, and he plays Blakiston next week… While my premium rucks have a bye? Coaching malpractice from me. Congratulations and just reward for those who held strong.

Reid (105) – Sunday is the first sign I’ve seen of the Harley Reid that will dominate the comp and average 100+… Spreading for +6’s late?! 30 disposals? He’s about to arrive. I just fear those weeks the Eagle’s get belted, because let’s not kid ourselves. That’s still going to happen. 

LOSERS

Grundy (88) – The definition of hard watch has been Brodie Grundy’s first 2 efforts in 2026, thank god for his last quarter efforts here. The bloke spends over half the game on all fours, looks like he needs back surgery and couldn’t jump over a traffic cone at the centre bounce. I have serious long-term concerns, but fear not… He plays Matt Flynn in Round 4. If he doesn’t go 130+ there, we can hit the full on panic button.

Blakiston (44) – Another shocker and old Blaki would be gone this week if it wasn’t for the carnage around Petracca and Rozee. Luckily for us, I don’t know who else Essendon could even pick. He goes into the special category of sh*t AFL players alongside the likes of DJ sh*tboy and Cooper Sharman. 

English (84) – Softly got dominated this game by McAndrew (84) who looks really good. Congratulations to all the McR2 owners, that is looking like it was the right call. He’s also looking like a red matchup on the scale. I’ll give Tim a pass here, I can only assume he wasn’t 100% after taking a trip downstairs early after half time with what seemed like a severe bout of SEBS… Sudden exploding bowel syndrome. 

Milera (74) – Just didn’t get enough of it, and it would have been a really frustrating watch as the Crows were chipping it around the back but couldn’t find Wayne. I think the role is a tick and their game plan helps him, he should be fine. 

Rachele (70) – As a non-owner… I can’t lie to you. He is a fun hate watch. The role isn’t great and those frees against were hilarious, but I also wouldn’t panic. Rach looks seriously improved this year and should comfortably put 15-20 on his starting price, he will be fine. 

Anderson (94) – Noah Anderson just does not have it as a fantasy player. Only 21 disposals against his favourite opposition the Tigers, visible thirst should be the minimum requirement if we’re paying over $1M for a premium. The game was too easy for him. 

Petracca (70) – This is where the weekend started to take a horrendous turn for the worse. At least we can fall back on knowing almost every serious fantasy coach owned Trac, but when you’re taking almost a million $$$ in the bank into a weekend… This is worst case scenario. A must trade and the start of a total sh*tshow. 

Windhager (73) – Once again you get what you pay for, barely any value picks have worked but we can fall back on the quick cash gen. In an ideal world Windy is gone next week, but as we’ve seen planned trades don’t tend to work out. I still saw visible thirst, but 2Q was a tough watch.  

Phillipou (31) – Why do I draft this ****. 9 CBAs and was completely unsighted. He is COOKED.

Serong (64) – Embarrassing. Tagged out of the game by Koltyn Tholstrup in a dominant win, it’s why we can never trust him. How can you even blame Caleb when it’s that much of a belting and they stick with the tag, bizarre stuff.

Windsor (49) – This is a tough old scene… The role might be OK, but sometimes we just forget things as fantasy coaches, such as the fact that this is Caleb Windsor. Playing for the Dees. He has never been a scorer and may never be a scorer. It’s just another reminder that more often than not, midpricers suck.

Rozee (72) – What is going on over at Port? Rozee has removed his hamstring completely from his buttocks and the docs are taking a look at the vision on the sideline and look… Confused?! They’re testing the structure of his knee while his hammy is flopping off the bone like a perfectly cooked braised beef short rib? Go figure. Another forced trade and so far, 2026 just sucks. 

Parish (68) – That’s now four weeks of clear evidence. This is what Darcy Parish is in the big 2026, let’s move on ASAP. At this point, hopefully he just keeps his spot. 

Bergman (46) – The full Berg experience has been on display early, he’s safely on my never again list for good reason. Now he’s out this week… Train wreck. 

Colby (65) – So now the role is great and he still can’t score?! You have to wonder if the Logue injury caused the restructure, and it clearly didn’t work out for North. He could keep that HB role and become an awesome value option, and it could turn into a disaster. 50/50. 

THIS GAME SH*TS ME

It’s just getting really f**king tiring isn’t it. All these hours in pre-season and here I am back at 9k rank. What’s it all for? To get 3 forced trades in 2 weeks? What a joke. The start to this season has been a great reminder we can’t take this game too seriously, because what the hell is this. If you don’t laugh, you’ll cry. This game sh*ts me. 

THE OTHER BITS AND PIECES

1683, 33087 for the round, 8909 overall. Sh*thouse. But it could always be worse!

I have a zero in my rucks this week because I’m a shocking coach and tried to big brain my rucks, sweet justice is being served. Like most coaches I am forced to move on Rozee and Petracca, leaving $700k+ still sitting in my bank for next week. I HOPE.

Rozee -> Zorko

Petracca -> Miers

I just pray we can sit here next Monday actually wondering what to do with our trades, that would be a nice change… At least let me stuff up my side on my own terms. See you back here next week legends.

Want to share your classic this game sh*ts me stories over the weekend with like minded coaches? Join the wash-up fantasy community over on discord! If you don’t laugh, you’ll cry. We’ll be heating up throughout the pre-season heading into Round 1, get around it…

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