The Weekend Wash-Up | Blatant Cheating | Round 13

I thought this was supposed to be the easiest bye round? Well if you ask me, it was! I’m up and about but I know some coaches are in need of a good therapy session and that’s what we’re here for, it’s time for the weekend wash-up!

LEGENDS

Holmes (146) – He has come under some unwarranted heat in my opinion, but way to stand up and be counted for Homma. Bailey Smith was a late out and Holmes took full advantage with 40 of the best including 25 kicks, 861 metres gained, and one look at his heat map will tell you all you need to know. He was everywhere. His 84% TOG and 89% CBAs are the most impressive stats, and how good was it to see him come back on with a minute to go and chase that 40th disposal.  L5 115, L3 124, $1M. My boy is back! And he’s a must have.

English (139) – 9 tackles?! Who are you and what have you done with Tim English. L5 115, huge.

Kennedy (132) – 29 disposals, 6 marks & 8 tackles. 2nd most CBAs with Treloar back. L5 116. What box doesn’t Kennedy tick. Maybe the one that says you’ll have to sell your organs on the black market to afford him. Unreal. 

Meek (120) – Freaky. 

Dale (112) – L5 107, and he just loves the roof. They just happen to live under it for the remainder of the season. Remains an upgrade target.

Newcombe (108) – Lucky score.

Ashcroft (113) – Is it fair to say… Disappointing 2nd half? I guess I’ll take the 80 point, 20 disposal 1st half. L3 98 L5 97 season 95. I would love a big one but Will has done his job.

Dawson (109) – Despite the Dunkley tag, Dawson still managed to stick 11 tackles and kick a big goal. Just the 18 disposals and Daws still gets there.

Grundy (139) – 100 point 2nd half and legitimately beat the sh*t out of Nank. Don’t look now but Grundy has a L5 125 and is almost $1.1M. Genius if you jumped on at $850k.

Blakey (133) – No Roberts and took full advantage. Blakey took every kick in when he was on the ground, but Roberts will make sure they both are capped around 90.

Mills (110) – HB, potentially filling in for Roberts. Had 2 kick ins. Easy matchup. I’m not ready to call Millsy back, but regardless he’s pretty close to a must have after bye.

Stewart (110) – No no no.

Miers (108) – L3 117, Messi is him. 

Rowell (106) – There’s something in that GMHBA grass. 

Rozee (121) – 1.3 from HB, 28 disposals, Rozee is thriving in his new role. A walk up 110 guy and a must have, it’s as simple as that.

Bergman (104) – 60% CBAs, but I’m pretty glad that Greene got subbed. I’m still not completely sold but Port had a great win and Mr Fix It was in the right role. Ticking a lot of boxes.

Sheezel (119) – 89 point, 20 disposal 2nd half including a 12 disposal 4 tackle quarter pounder to win the game and 3 votes. And where did he play in that quarter? What a bloody shocker. 100% mid. He is a pure inside mid and if I see any more bullsh*t about him being drafted as a half forward I’ll block them. What a joke. Match winner and a 115 guy if he goes full time mid. 

FOS (81) – SPIN KING. A really noticeable lack of spins, less holding the balls and therefore a better performance for the man who can but probably shouldn’t spin.

Hewett (125) – $912k?! 60% CBAs (2nd lowest for season), while Walsh had 76% (highest). That’s a flag for me, I think I’d take Walsh.

Docherty (112) – Michael Voss should be sacked. For playing Docherty anywhere other than half back. Let alone the VFL. Who would have thought the All-Australian half back would play really well at half back. No kick ins but he received them, and I think this role is locked in. All aboard. 

Caldwell (110) – Jye Caldwell is a full time mid (80% CBAs). That makes him a 115+ guy and M1. I’m not joking, open your eyes and you’ll find the truth right in front of you. A proper stat sheet stuffer, he will never get tagged, what more can you ask. My king. 

Cerra (107) – Tyrone Vickery? A great score considering he thought he was playing at Marvel and spoke in parseltongue post match. Thank god the team doctor had Cerra for 25. 

Walsh (105) – His most mid minutes for the season, and we know Walshy is a downhill skier and Carlton somehow have a piss easy run. $902k. I love it at that price.

J.Daicos (128) – 34 disposals, 11 marks, L3 110. He’s really heating up and a massive target in round 15. 

Gawn (122) – Steven May, you big legend. Embarrassing stuff, Maxy handled it better than I would have. 

LOSERS

Peatling (67) – Absolute dog of a thing, one of my worst picks ever. And that’s saying something. He had an easy +4, and decided to try and bury Lachie Neale six feet under the Adelaide oval instead. Glad to be rid of him and hopefully the Crows are too.

Rankine (68) – I hope he hasn’t quit his music.

Liberatore (63) – 40% CBAs, so the solution to squeeze 45 year old Adam Treloar in is to send Libba to half forward. That makes sense. This almost certainly won’t stick next week, and I’m nervous the Bulldogs midfield rotation will be spread too evenly. They do have some great fixtures though.

Treloar (60) – It’s nothing personal Adam, but selfishly I wouldn’t mind seeing the hammy going again. 

Dunkley (81) – It’s getting worse?! 4 games, no tons, L5 92, L3 85!! Genuinely pathetic. You just know if you trade him on his bye for $900k he will suddenly average 115. Total disaster. 

Neale (71) – A season average of 91, and he is just as likely to go 70 as he is 100. Well and truly finished as a fantasy option.

Taranto (85) – L5 92, it’s what he is. Dead average. 

Cheeksy (80) – 22 and 2, it’s a classic cheeksy. You were warned. L5 93, I’ll never be on Warner as a fantasy option.

Shit Warner (28) – What’s in Chad’s contract? It’s the only explanation for him still getting a game.

Noble (46) – The house of cards came crashing down. 12 disposals, what a car crash. Welcome back Johnny.

Flanders (34) – L5 56. I’ve had a go at Clarko’s treatment of Sheezel, and they’re not the same level of player but come on. What the hell is this role????? Your team is scoring 37 points, and ball magnet Sam Flanders is having 7 disposals as a forward pocket. Hardwick needs to wake the **** up. We have bloody Humpa and David Swallow in there. Embarrassing coaching.

Whitfield (86) – The Giants tsunami is literally only possible thanks to Lachie Whitfield’s spread and gut running from HALF BACK. THE ALL AUSTRALIAN HALF BACK. Instead we have him running around like a headless chook watching the ball sail over his head. Basket case of a side. Play your best players in their best position. Please.

Greene (20) – …. Honestly, it’s what you get for even considering getting Toby Greene in.

Xerri (111) – Legitimately 30 point unders. ZERO MARKS. Vs Matt Flynn? Not close to good enough and it ended up with some butchered captains.

LDU (65) – Disgrace. Genuinely wasting a mid spot.

Hardeman (33) – A $500k rookie, that’s a new one. Thank god I opened my eyes after early rage trades. 

Allan (0) – Nice coaching. 

Parish (89) – 31 of the very worst (@58%), yet he walks into the team and has 56% CBAs. Parish used to be one of my boys, but Caldwell has well and truly taken over. Take a backseat Darcy. 

Merrett (79) – 32% CBAs. FF in the last? Cincotta folded him like a deckchair once again, thanks to his blatant cheating and Scott’s crazy coaching. Zach has been a disaster, when you have a L5 of 91 with a 150 in there, it can’t be good. 

Durham (81) – 40% CBAs, what a joke. See you later Sam.

Cincotta (18) – Well done mate. 

Langdon (23) – Well done mate.

Allan (33) – In & straight out, these picks can backfire. Sometimes maybe good, sometimes maybe sh*t.

Lindsay (31) – Farewell son.

THIS GAME SH*TS ME

We have to have a discussion here. How the AFL apparently want to let literal no names blatantly cheat to shut out the best players in our game. It’s embarrassing stuff. 4 disposals. Ed Langdon and Alex Cincotta had FOUR DISPOSALS. What were they busy doing? Wrapping their arms around Daicos and Merrett at every stoppage. Now correct me if I’m wrong, but as soon as a defender wraps his arm around the forward, no matter how slight, it’s the automatic cue for the most basic free kick in the game. Correct? So WHY CAN ED LANGDON TOUCH UP NICK DAICOS WITHOUT THE BALL?! He should have given away 40 free kicks. You put your arms around a player that doesn’t have the ball, it’s a free kick. It’s not rocket science.

And then all I hear is the commentators banging on about it being a proper “Old school tag.” What does that even mean? It means they’re cheating. What a joke. This game sh*ts me.

THE OTHER BITS AND PIECES

2002!!! Overall 3.5k. It’s my second week in the top 300 for the round over the past month, and in between that I have been ranked 30-40k every round. There’s just no in between. It’s a roller coaster and not a very fun one, but the byes have been kind. So far. I’m telling you if there’s any carnage, tune into the washup for Round 16. It will be special, and not the good kind. 

Peatling -> Lord (I won’t actually do this)

Bice -> Colby

L.Ashcroft -> Macrae

As always be sure to check out the podcast for an in-depth review of the round, the losers of the week and this game sh*ts me was some of our best rants yet. Good luck next week legends!

Get all your fantasy therapy throughout the year right here.

Follow @theweekendwashup on Instagram.

Follow @theweekendwashup on Tiktok.

Follow @weekendwashup on X.

Follow @mattcraigDT on X.

Follow @bushey96 on X.

Find the podcast

• Spotify
• Apple Podcasts

Matt