The Weekend Wash-Up – Round 1

Isn’t it good to have Fantasy back… Said nobody ever.  What a stupid game we play. There were many winners, but they couldn’t outmatch what the losers produced. After a full round of bullet dodging, it’s time for the weekend wash-up!

LEGENDS

Daicos (123) – Water is wet, the sky is blue and Nick Daicos is good. Am I overthinking these byes? Perhaps. Gun.

Heeney (125) – Speaking of over thinking it, not selecting Heeney after his performance last week was exactly that. He has burnt us before and will no doubt burn us again this year, but not after the damage is done. Jet.

Perkins (130) – Wow. Where did this come from?! Operating as a full time mid, Archie Perkins finally delivered on his promise. Will the role stick? To that extent, almost certainly not. However it will be hard to keep him out of the rotation after a performance like that. He has to be considered.

Merrett (125) – The safest pick you can make, he only left my side after Finn got named. Will undoubtedly average 110-115 once again.

McGrath (109) – 33 disposals, 50 bounces and approximately 15 kick ins.  Thank you for the offer Andy but I’m not buying this.

D’Ambrosio (94) – I might be buying this guy. How he snuck under the radar to the extent he did I will never know. Great in pre-season, great in the practice match. No bye! And yet a 69 from Zac Williams and an 88 from he who shall not be named had me frothing at the mouth apparently. Bizarre from myself, but he’s at the top of my shopping list.

Green (145) – Very similar thoughts to Nick Daicos here. Both would have been in my Round 1 side if not for Andrew Dillon. They probably should have been anyway. Legend.

Xerri (121) – The island! My god. Again it was round 0 that ruined our teams, if not for the Grundy flash in the pan X-erri would have been in my side! Brutal. Congratulations to the gigabrains that benched Grundy. This probably isn’t the article for you.

Sheezel (120) – Again, similar sentiments to Daicos and Tom Green, only Sheez didn’t have a bye! If you don’t have him, you might be beyond saving. Get help.

Flanders (119) – The entire Gold Coast midfield had themselves a day out in the wet, led by Noah Anderson, Matt Rowell and Sam Flanders. Again, shoutout to you Andrew Dillon. Would I have backed him after the pre-season 50 without a bye? I’d like to think so. Gun.

Crouch (113) – This looked like the Matt Crouch of old. Prime Crouchy who averaged 105 with ease and threatened to push into uber premium territory if not for low TOG. Of course that issues still remains, but he was clearly Adelaide’s best. I’ll be shocked if he doesn’t average 100, thank god we worried about… Sam Berry? Awesome.

Bonner (102) – Riley Boner. The saviour of my weekend, this pick was really a no brainer. Similar stuff to Ziebell last year, just make sure you have him. I can’t see a world where he gets dropped for Sinclair, he’s too good. Gun.

Holmes (99) – Having started like a house on fire, maholmesboy slowed and got readjusted under the ton after full time. See if I care. One of my few good picks, he’s a jet.

Gawn (137) – If you weren’t sure, Max Gawn is very good at football. He was better for the run last week, that 87 is probably as bad as it will get. He’s in for a monster year.

Billings (140) – A Jack Billings 140 was NOT on my bingo card. Has there ever been a bigger discrepancy in scores between his sub vested 10 last week and this absolute masterclass? Despite this score, he only just hit his breakeven. If you owned him this week you’re a psycho, if you bring him in this week… I see the vision.

Serong (161) – We have saved the best until last. My goodness me. When we speak of fantasy thirst, go and watch Caleb Serong’s game on the weekend. I’ll be showing it to my entire squad in tomorrow’s review session. 46 disposals is peak Tom Mitchell pig numbers, it can’t be ignored. What a pick. Genius.

LOSERS

Grundy (53) – Honestly Brodie, good on you mate. You went out last week and proved everyone wrong by dominating Max Gawn in the second half. That could only spell that the ruck pig is back, right?! What a disgrace to the pig pen he is. Congratulations for proving the doubters right just 7 days later. Get in the bin.

Lipinksi (62) – Pre-season trap number one. Let me tell you, he certainly wasn’t the worst. Hopefully no one fell for this one.

Mackenzie (41) – I might need to bring in a new rule. It’s very simple, and yet I don’t adhere to it nearly enough. Try selecting good footballers. Dual brownlow medallist Fyfe, or the fumble king sub bound unproven 20 year old? Easy choice for me, welcome Cam.

Newcombe (62) – I was so hyped up for this game I couldn’t resist owning everyone I could. And it has absolutely f**ked me. Jai Newcombe. A mid season pick up for a reason? It looked like it. The myth that he loves to tackle is one of the greats, the bloke didn’t lay a finger on an Essendon jumper all day. Dreadful.

Sick Dawg (30) – Sorry, what? I understand the sic dawg is a rollercoaster ride, but 30. What the flying f**k are you supposed to do with that score. What’s that? He got suspended?!?! This is the full Sick Dawg package and I can’t wait to ride the rollercoaster once again. Thirty. Unbelievable.

Reid (17) – This sucks, here lies your D8 and loophole option for the foreseeable future. Farewell, Zac.

Fisher (68) – Remember that new rule I spoke about, I think Zac Fisher might be the poster boy. I did my best to defend him in pre-season, but the first quarter made one thing clear to me. He is not very good at football. Which makes things hard, obviously. Clarko had given him the seagull role, and you know what he did with it?! He spat it back in his face. It’s no shock to me Fisher didn’t see much of the ball after quarter time with everything going through McKercher and Sheezel. Clarko clearly sent out a message. Keep the ball out of this blokes hands. Prime sub candidate? I’m concerned.

Pink (32) – A classic score this from Stinky Pinky. He might be a heartbeat, but you may as well be using an iron lung. No good.

King (7) – Have yourself a game Ben.

Budarick (25) – Here we are. Twenty-five. TWENTY-FIVE?! F**k me. I don’t even know how to approach this. What are you supposed to do with a score like that? It’s about as useful as Anne Frank’s drum set. That one is reserved for a very special performance. It’s actually quite hard to pick a 25 I reckon. Of the 414 AFL footballers to get a gig this week, only 30 scored worse than Budarick. Keep in mind, there was 36 green vests and 36 red vests. Of all the scores, we land on that. The worst performance I have ever seen.

Clark (32) – Chris Scott came out and defended Jhye Clark after full time. Thank god he has always been up front and honest with his comments. 59% TOG, 31% disposal efficiency. This screams submarine next week, ugly ugly stuff.

Bevo – How is this bloke still coaching in the AFL? Seriously. There is no doubt in my mind Sanders (68) made that turnover, and Bevo has gone full Rocket Eade on Will Minson. He screamed “RYLEY AGAIN?!” Slammed the phone, and sat him straight onto the back of the bench. What an idiot. Get Beveridge off.

Wines (72) – Well after all that, Wines wasn’t even a full time midfielder. Under 50% CBAs and a 70 against the Eagles. When you speak of red flags, that is as alarming as it gets. He gets one more week to show something. Anything. Yikes.

Yeo (70) – I was very happy fading Yeo at three quarter time, but at least he almost made his BE. I fear the Eagles will just be sh*t, Yeo will be OK and then his hammy will ping. That’s all likely to come to a conclusion before Round 4. West Coast averaged 53 points per player and Yeo was their second top scorer. That is all you need to know. Grim.

THIS GAME SH*TS ME

Months of pre-season preparation had lead to the final team announcements on Friday afternoon. By that point, I had trialed every structure possible and was happy with my squad. What happens next? 10 minutes before first bounce down on Saturday, it all goes tits up. Hours of planning gets scrunched up and put in the bin for a bot like Cam Mackenzie. Why? Because he was in the midfield huddle. Awesome. This game sh*ts me.

THE OTHER BITS AND PIECES

1956. Rank 42000. What else do you want me to say? I know it’s early and all but if Round 1 was anything to go by, I might be in for a loooooong year.

My trades are simple at this stage, nail the cash gen. Ollie Dempsey and Jeremy Sharp seem like must haves, so I’ll be fixing up Mackenzie and Clark. Fisher, Grundy, Newcombe and Budarick are all on notice next week, with Fyfe, Xerri, Crouch and D’Ambrosio knocking the door down.

Mackenzie -> Dempsey

Clark -> Sharp

Good luck next week legends, be sure to listen to our podcast for a full recap of this weekend train wreck!!! It’s a lot more fun talking about my weekend than it is writing about it that’s for sure. May the luckiest man or woman win!

Matt