Chop’s Chopping Block: Round 3

To say we had a sh*thouse time in Melbourne would be taking matters slightly too far. We met a lot of nice people and the fact that our web-site crashed was perhaps one of the most frustrating things ever… oh no hang on, being delayed at the airport before we went over last time was number one, and this is now a close second.

To top things off though, not one, not two or three but all four of our Dream Teams sucked terribly with some massive under performers. They weren’t all in my team and I must admit that I took great joy in laughing at the other boys misfortunes only to have them come back my way in a later game.

Here are my under performers for round 3 and those that should be looking squarely at your axe.

Mark Seaby– OMG, how many people would have looked to this guy after the first two rounds and said yes. Mark Seaby you are my saviour for all of my other sh#t rucks and I am going to trade you in for Bitch Clark. 30 points is a pitiful performance and one that a 3ft midget with a club foot probably could have mustered. Word is that he played a lot forward, unfortunately his score didn’t follow the lead. Hey Mark…. now you Seaby… now you don’t… get out… you definitely get the Chop.

Nick Riewoldt– I love this guy and I love picking him in my team but for the first time ever in DT history I have him at the beginning of the year. 20 points from someone who is a walk up 100 was devastating and despite coaches like Calvin getting 40 out him (hahaha) it destroyed many teams. I know that it’s extremely rough to chop someone that has already been cut down but my axe does not hold back unfortunately. For someone to have an injury that could be up to 12 weeks, there is no way that I am going to have all that cash sitting on the bench…. Bye Bye Nick and hello Jared Brennan who is averaging 120… see you in round 16 Nick.

Ben Warren– I am not racist and there is no way that I would ever chop anybody based on the colour of there skin, but this cue tip is useless. Maybe he’s too concerned about getting his pasty white skin burnt from the Etihad lights or maybe he can’t get away from his opponent because he stands out like a high visibility vest, but seriously Ben… get a kick. After showing promise last year before snapping his peg he has stunk it up this year… “Oh but Chop I have gone up in value” $2000 and you were only worth 234k you tosser. Get out…. hello Cyril!!!!!!

Buddy Franklin– I know that I give Budwood a bit of a rough deal when it comes to the chopping block and I also realise that he scored 74 on the weekend. But this guy is at times a waste of space and he can’t get a touch. At times on the weekend he lead his opponent to the ball only to forget to slow down and take the mark. And surprise surprise the ball bounced out of his hands like he was setting the ball for Kerri Pottharst to spike the thing. Seriously Buddy, get a grip and get a clue you Spazmot.

Mitch Clark – what else is there to say except that you just suck…. can’t wait to get you in after round 15 for $200k.