The worst teams to have in your fantasy league

As league competition begins across the Fantasy codes this round, it is time to look at the worst teams to have in your league.

We’ve all experienced at least one of these in our Dream Team lives. Whether it’s the guy that gives up mid-season because their team’s a rabble or whether it’s the team that flukes its way through the competition, these are the teams that have private league creators scurrying to fill their leagues before these guys get sorted into them.

Without further ado, let’s count down the six worst teams to have in your league.

6. The Biased Team

You know exactly what I mean here. You’ve probably even been accused of this before! This is the team that has a few more players from the club the coach supports than it should. For example, the Carlton supporter that always has Judd in their team or the Essendon supporter with Heppell, Watson and Stanton in their midfield. This one is a minor annoyance but you can’t help but ask them what they think they’re doing. The best example of this comes when a player is traded in after one good game. Not going to name name’s but the Collingwood supporter who brought in Jarryd Blair after round one in a league of mine needs to be exposed here!

5. The Flukey Team

There are always those teams made by coaches who don’t exactly know what they’re doing. They’re not amateurs but their team is filled with unique mid-pricers who aren’t your typical dream team selection. The worst part is that this team is bound to pull out a massive score when it faces you in head-to-head. You just know that it’s going to happen. Rory Laird is going to have 30 disposals, Alex Rance is going to take 16 marks and you just know their unique captain selection is going to break the all-time scoring record. (Brian Lake 192, I’m looking at you.)

Will this side’s success last long? Probably not, but given you play each team once in head-to-head, the bragging rights are already theirs.

4. The Noob

I’m not going to go too hard on the noob. This is the guy who has absolutely no idea what he’s doing. “How cheap is Presti! Have to get him on my bench!” These guys try hard and will inevitably get better as they eventually find this very website and then learn from other teams, but they’ll drag down that league average and serve as basically a bye round for the better teams. So thank you Dream Team novices for giving the rest of us a week to conserve our trades, you’re the real MVP’s.

3. The Auto-Fill Team

What the hell are you doing in my league? Get out! Why is the function even a thing?

2. The Ghost Ship

All your mates have joined your league, you’ve filled it with everyone you possibly can but there is still a spot left! As a last resort, you throw the league code out on Twitter and in comes a team to fill the spot. His team isn’t bad, it holds its own against the rest of the competition and all is good… for now. It’s now round six and the team is slowly dropping down the point’s ladder. You click on his team and see the flock of zeroes and Band-Aids. The team is exactly the same as it was in round one. Fast forward to round ten and it’s the same, round fifteen and it’s the same and so on and so forth. At least the noob gets rid of the guys who aren’t playing. If you thought he was going to drag down your league average, you wait until this no-show gets in there.

1. The Mid-Season Quitter

Out of all the teams on this list, this is the most frustrating. The biased guy and the noob are doing their best, the flukey guy won’t last too long, the Auto-Fill team is just a joke and the ghost ship at least has the decency to be committed to something for a full year… even if it’s being committed to doing nothing…

Regardless! The mid-season quitter is that guy who burns through his trades early on, before his team comes upon hard times. He’s either hit with a string of injuries or the bye rounds are coming up and his whole backline is out. What does he do? He quits. He goes AWOL for the rest of the year and leaves his team to rot. All of a sudden, your ultra-competitive league now has another ghost ship. Another version is the player that simply loses interest in the game mid-year and in both instances you want to track them down and break their computers over their heads.

Well… I want to…  Is it just me? Do I take this too seriously?

Good luck in your head-to-heads!

33 Comments

  • I’ve got to admit I’ve been pretty flukey this year so far (touch wood).
    I managed to avoid all the injury traps except Sidey, who still scored 88!

    • +1 didn’t start with gaz, bartel, beams or rocky. Only forced trades I’ve had are berger & sidey

    • I’ve been playing for long enough now to know how this game works – tactics and timing are key – plus a fair dose of good luck! However, there is one thing that I can never – have never – & will never do……& that is have Dane Swan in my team!! Horrendous unskilled player who has no place on any field! Has made it hard at times over the years when he waddles around churning out some big numbers – but I’ve always resisted!………& my reward??…..last year I won my league…..& this year I am 137th after 3 rounds

  • My mates league is like this.

    Had a friend pull out (apparently having a kid means he is too busy) and I had to rope in a barely interested mate.

    Apparently he auto filled after choosing a few choice players, and has no rucks who are playing.

    gah.

  • Great article, have seen most of these teams at one point and even was the Noob many years ago.
    The most unique team I have seen was from a guy named Tom who only had players with the name Tom/Thomas etc in his team. It didn’t do very well but at least was original!

    • Thats a novelty team.

      Last year I made a team entirely of bald/balding players.
      The year before, just Gingers.

      Just for a laugh.

      Didnt join a league with them.

    • Yep, have to admit, back in 2009 i was definitely one of the noobs. I tried to build an actual side with a full back and a centre half back etc. good old days…

  • I think I’m number 5, I’m a pom thats lived here for 4 years, fell in love with the game and thought I’d play fantasy for the first time this year.

    Currently ranked in the top 300, and chose players I like, with some decent advice from a few guys here (thanks!) I got some rookies to help me along

  • How about number 7?

    The team that has 29 players from the one club. E.G. 29 Melbourne players plus Mitch Clark because he was cheap and used to play for Melbourne.

    • Yeah, there was a team in a league I joined last year made entirely of Richmond players, amazingly he still didnt finish bottom

  • Haha i’m none of the above, i’m a bomber fan and only have hibbo and belly in my team, both popular picks
    This is my 4th or 5th season of fantasy so i’m not a noob or a fluke player. Definetley not auto-filling my team and have never quit mid season

  • Here’s one you could add. The theme team. A mate and i did it a couple years back. His team was called cats and dogs and he could only pick from the bulldogs lions cats and tigers. I was the birds and could only pick from the hawks, magpies ect.
    It was challenging but we were able to be pretty competitive all the same.

  • There is another type of biased team.

    I had a friend who joined DT a couple of years ago. She hated bombers and brisbane so much she refused to have any players from those teams.

    • i must admit as a freo supporter i hate having eagles players in my team and try to avoid them

  • Haha Nic, one of the funnier articles I’ve read! :P

    To add another type of biased team, we had a 1/2 Aboriginal friend who only played Aboriginal players on his fantasy team. This was back in the early days and he had Scott Lucas as captain the year he went massive week after week with Lloyd.

    This year we had 2 random teams join our league. One was an obvious Sydney supporter due to the overabundance of Bloods players. The 2nd team?

    …..

    was TheTraders!

    now do I classify them as noobs? or? :P

  • My first year was no fluke, it was all down to the amazing advice of the legendary Doctor Dreamteam. Helped me to a whopping 20,000ish finish.
    Luckily the following pre-season I stumbled across this site

  • How bout “The Ignoramus”?

    Got a guy in my league who’s really enthusiastic and picks great players but 3 years’ in he still refuses to read the rules, which takes all of ten minutes. Other day he says “Rockliff’s price goes down after rounds 3 and 6 right?”. Just wrong on so many levels. He’s never got his head around the pricing system which is the point of the whole fkn game, wanna kill him sometimes. For his own good.

  • +1 for Funniest Article / Comment Thread this year :P

  • I loved the guy I came across 2 years running. Obviously a Cats supporter. At least 25 of his 30 players were Cats. Didn’t he read Freako’s newsletter???? He would have seen that even the best AFL team averages below 1800 per round. That’s not going to win many Fantasy leagues.

  • The team I’m playing this week in (supercoach) has 8 Geelong players & also has made Andrew Swallow captain. I’m doomed!

  • With the way the Suns are playing you may well be doomed

  • How about a team full of the same side, who happen to have a huge win and all score massive and you lose to them haha happened to a guy in my league missed the finals because of it.

  • Is there a prize for the best league ? Maybe everyone would try a bit harder to create one for the $$$$$.