The Weekend Wash-Up | Slip n’ Slide | Round 14

Three bye rounds down, two to go, and I’m just sitting here wondering what the hell I needed to score to get par! It’s time for your weekly fantasy therapy session, it’s time for the weekend wash-up!

LEGENDS

Caldwell (122) – The walking 120. He’s averaging almost 9 tackles as a mid which is the difference between him being Tom Green and a legit 115+ guy as a full time midfielder, which he clearly is. M1? Discounting Baz as a forward I’m being serious. The box score stuffer.

B.Smith (136) – Snout watch. Another 41 disposals?! Coming back from a week off, it’s just a piss take how good he is at scoring fantasy points. He loves a 1-2-3-4 coming out of the back line and runs all day, so he just has to be your VC or C week in week out. 

Marshall (129) – 23 disposals, 33 hitouts with 6 marks and 6 tackles is back to what you’d expect from Romo. What a terrible trade out he was, is he all the way back? Maybe. 

NWM (128) – A monster first half and the only tough watch here is as a non-owner, Saints games are off limits now. 

Dale (127) – 36 disposals and 10 marks, Bailey Dale is a top 3 defender under the roof. He just happens to live there for the rest of the season and faces Richmond next week… Huge. 

Libba (121) – He gets knocked down… He gets back up again, great comeback score. The role isn’t pure mid so I don’t love jumping back on. 

English (120) – Averaging 108 and he could go big against Nank next week. Timmy is ticking all the boxes, he’s back. 

Darcy (115) – Averaging 98 outside of the game where he got injured, which we can obviously discount… Did I mention he plays the Tigers next week and is basically impossible to defend? At this price it’s impossible to argue he’s value in a position where we need it the most.

Richards (109) – Great player and he just keeps getting it done. Bettors around the country rejoiced with that final handball too!

Kennedy (107) – Just when you thought he was going to drop a stinker he comes out in the 2nd half and kicks 2 goals to take the Michael Jamieson for 78 points. The CBAs were down so that’s a watch at his price.

Sinclair (106) – Averaging 114 in his last 5, he was a great (and obvious) pick a few weeks ago and is firmly in that top 6. Gun.

Steele (105) – He somehow tackles his way to a ton each week and you have to respect that, but you can’t say he’s playing great… This could come to an end but maybe that’s a hopeful non-owner speaking! 

Moore (122) – 23 disposals and 13 tackles, I think it’s safe to say Dylan Moore is back. He’s elite value coming off his bye if fit. 

Zorko (114) – As always Zork just managed to get it done thanks to a near quarter pounder, he isn’t going anywhere. Is a 150 just around the corner…?

Ash (112) – Standard Lachie Ash game these days, he is as safe as it gets. Never getting tagged and the tsunami is back.

Whitfield (111) – Whit was back to his best down at HB, taking 12 kick ins and ticking every box we needed to say to hold him through the bye. That’s more like it. 

Setterfield (138) – His first ton for 5 weeks was a monster with31 disposals, 7 marks and 10 tackles. Averaging 101.5 but he still feels like a guy that could go if Essendon swing the axe. Great draft pick. 

Holmes (131) – Just dominant. 36 disposals, a goal and 3 more votes. Homma has arrived, carrying a last 3 of 128 and last 6 of 117. A must have come Round 17.  

Miers (112) – Last 5 of 111, last 3 of 119. Hasn’t gone below 90 since returning in round 9. Messi was the pick, what a no brainer that was. 

Stewart (110) – Ah shit, here we go again… B2B 110s now and that Tigers matchup out of the bye is juicy. What are never again lists for anyway?

Z.Johnson (104) – Our bloody saviour. LEGEND!!!!!

Serong (146) – 92 point 2nd half and it felt like him and Brayshaw were just waxing in the last half. The Windy tag is my only concern, but he was an elite get last week. 

Brayshaw (136) – 80 point 2nd half. These two blew out par scores for the round, and I wasn’t on board. 

Sheezel (131) – The performance was fantastic, but when he’s pushing up on ball anyway I just do NOT understand why he isn’t in the CBAs. He can bloody push forward after? The Kangaroos lost the game as Freo kicked 4 goals in 5 minutes during the second quarter, when Sheezel sat at half forward with his hands on his hips. Just bizarre stuff.

Gawn (126) – He is averaging 127 points in his last 10 games. I know the run is hard but… He is worth $1.2M for a reason. It’s a dangerous game trading him out. 

Rozee (117) – A walk up 110 every week and I’ve had enough. He’s in.

JHF (112) – Get up and about Bag!!! After holding him for 3 weeks I thought we were on target for a 150, now I’m just crossing fingers and toes hoping his shoulder is fine. Because that was a fun watch. 

Bergman (102) – I’ve not been convinced by the Berg even as an owner, but he’s just elite. As long as he keeps tagging midfielder he will dominate. See, you CAN tag without cheating and while you look at the ball. Incredible. 

Cerra (120) – Looking very good and the Walsh injury just locks him in the middle. After not going over 110 in the first 10 rounds he is suddenly a 120 guy! A great pick gets even better.

Dewar (115) – The rising star! But I honestly think his owners should hand those 115 points back after he played with a genuine flour bag. I hated his game but maybe I was being harsh, you can’t deny the role. If he can learn to spin the ball backwards we could be onto something…

G.Hewett (105) – Walsh has cleared a path and Hewett is a bargain at $917k. He is currently in my side… North next week. Tick. 

McCarthy (101) – Wow. What a bloody debut. L.E.G.E.N.D. Just farcical that an ammos footballer has been picked up and is legitimately in our top 5 players. It makes me second guess the fact that we could beat a VFL side… Gun. 

LOSERS

Green (78) – One third of the holy trinity of sh*t trains. What is the point of playing an entire game in the midfield to lay an average of 3 tackles and manage 1 mark. It’s embarrassing. I thought he was better than a pure inside midfielder who hates getting dirty, I was horribly wrong.

Newcombe (61) – The second member, Jai was the only thing that could make Friday nights game even more unwatchable. Sadly he was a mid-season pick-up for a reason and this is what he is. Why I paid a million dollars for him I can’t tell you, that trade got what it deserved.

W.Ashcroft (61) – And lastly… Train tracks Ashcroft. Teams have learnt, cut off the inside ball to Will just jogging along the square and that’s him done aside from a few pointless loopy one-twos. I seriously can’t tell if he refuses to try and sprint or that’s actually him at full pace. ROB gets him in that race.

Merrett (94) – Zach hasn’t scored a ton since his whopper against the Tigers. That 149 is his only ton in his last 6 games. If you take that out he’s averaging 80 across those other 5 games. Insanely sh*t.

Bontempelli (50) – This entered into cheat tag areas, and you know what i think about that. Bont got hard tagged by Windy and was happy to sit back and watch the rest of his midfield run rings around the Saints. That’s all well and good, but what about us fantasy coaches Bont?! I feel like he bounces back against the Tigers, but I also feel like he doesn’t even need to try anymore. I don’t know where I land on it. Forget Brownlow Bont. 

Rankine (81) – Is this just what he is? 47% CBAs and another meh score. I want to dump Izak, but I need warm bodies in R16 and he plays the Tigers. That is truly his last chance. 

Dunkley (75) – It gets EVEN WORSE for the fifth game in a row!!! I think our never again lists just gained a new member. 

L.Ashcroft (39) – How about a tackle Levi? He looks absolutely cooked and was due to go two weeks ago. Pack his bags and let him get cheap ahead of 2026…

Lohmann (24) – No mann… Kobra Kai can’t jump, I think a spell in the VFL looms. 

Daniel (78) – It wasn’t until seeing this game live that I realised how slow Caleb Daniel really is… So he’s 4 foot 5, he can’t run and can kind of kick it OK. Bulldogs, congratulations. 

Simpkin (44) – Have yourself a game skipper.

Hardeman (41) – He may as well be Pinky now. Shocker.

Petracca (81) – My secret weapon to rise up the rankings… Hold him. Please. 

Rivers (44) – Tactically subbed… Don’t ever get sucked into Trent Rivers!

Jackson (15) – The Wolverine… Joins the never ending list of failed mid-season rookies.

Docherty (71) – Sh*t game, sh*t weather, Doch didn’t have to try and frankly didn’t really look like he wanted to be there. The Eagles also like to cut off the switch, he’ll bounce back. 

Cripps (64) – But I tell you who won’t bounce back. Ever. Farewell Crippa, he is well and truly cemented on the never again list.

THIS GAME SH*TS ME

I tell you this game builds you up to beat you down sometimes and when you’re thinking you’ve had a good week, only to plummet down the ranks it takes it out of you. If you didn’t score 2100 from 18 players this week, you’re a loser basically. It shined a light on how lucky I had been getting and how poor my team is that I missed that never ending list of legends, and nailed the holy trinity of losers. It’s going to be a long 10 weeks ahead… This game sh*ts me. 

THE OTHER BITS AND PIECES

1987 and I somehow tanked to 4.1k. Grim stuff. I’m making up the numbers at this point but that doesn’t mean there isn’t plenty to learn ahead of 2026! Trades wise, I am going to make the most bloody satisfying trades ever. See you later and never return Jai Newcombe, Izak Rankine and Will Ashcroft. Never again. Tom Green, prepare your farewell speech this week buddy. 

Are you ever sitting there over the weekend wanting to vent about your capitulating AFL Fantasy team, only to have no one to talk to who actually cares? Well, we do. We’ve started a Wash-Up discord channel where we’ll talk trades and tactics, but mostly vent about our awful players over the weekend. It’s all just for a laugh and some fun, which is what the game is about!

Join us for a live trade chat Wednesdays 8pm AEST and a Sunday morning (possibly hungover) debrief. Oh and be sure to catch the podcast! I’ll see you same time next week legends. 

JOIN the FREE Weekend Wash-Up Discord 

Get all your fantasy therapy throughout the year right here.

Follow @theweekendwashup on Instagram.

Follow @theweekendwashup on Tiktok.

Follow @weekendwashup on X.

Follow @mattcraigDT on X.

Follow @bushey96 on X.

Find the podcast

• Spotify
• Apple Podcasts

Matt