The Weekend Wash-Up | Flaming Dragon | Round 11

That’s another round of fantasy in the books and it’s safe to say I am completely over it. But some coaches are firing up so I’ll do it for you guys. It’s time for your weekly fantasy therapy session, it’s time for the weekend wash-up!

LEGENDS

Nic Martin (166) – It was just nice to start my weekend with a bang for once. Nic Martin take a bow. The vice skipper said don’t worry about it boys I’ll take it from here with 35 disposals, 26 kicks 9 marks 8 tackles, 2 goals and the medal. That’s honestly one of the all time great games. It included a 13 disposal, 4 mark, 5 tackle, 70 point final quarter. It was full piggery in the final 5 minutes, taking me back to the days of Swanny heading to the back pocket for some chippy chippy. 32% CBAs was a first as well, and he tackled hard as a result. Just an absolute must have, well done Nic. And well done to the Eagles for letting him go.

Oliver (130) – Unbelievable, what a joke. 31 Disposals, 12 tackles and a goal including a 50 point 1st qtr, Clarry was back to his best. 

Long (132) – 29 disposals & 14 hugs, emotional for his coaches but can I get kissed with one of these scores. 132… Unreal.

Smith (126) – A huge first term eased any concerns about the Bulldogs red matchup and the 5 day break curse. He’s just an absolute monster. There are a few concerns around his sore shin with a trip to Perth to play West Coast next week, and it would be very Geelong and Chris Scott for that to turn into some chaos. Watch this space. 

Holmes (117) – I just can’t figure out Homma this season. He was clearly sore coming off the short break, with his TOG % well down. Thankfully he took the Michael Jamison when he was out there. Gun and a great value pick, I still think he’s a 100+ guy.

Richards (115) – Tagged by Hoison sauce and just killed him, it’s not the first tag Ed has broken either. Two goals in his 28 disposals and we might have to recalibrate how we look at him, flaming Ed is looking like a genuine top 8 mid these last few weeks. L5 of 112. Jet.

Kennedy (111) – Another 3 goals for mr Kennedy, this guy chips it and it goes 60 metres. A bloody awesome player, elite fantasy pick and his ton run is now at 6. Unreal.

Libba (110) – Last 3 of 119 and a great return since that 50. 

Miers (106) – Messi is a genuine option, he has the Eagles, Suns, Bombers and Lions into their bye. The eagles matchup alone could be worth it. At the very least he is a great stepping stone. 

Merrett (149) – That last quarter between Merrett and Martin was all time fantasy porn. Unbelievable stuff and a great return for those that owned him for last week’s disgraceful effort, or those that had the courage to jump on with a 150 BE.

Caldwell (120) – Jye Caldwell has flashed a top 8 mid fantasy game, and with 29 disposals and 11 tackles he signalled that he’s back to full fitness following that hammy concern. There’s risk in it but he’s undeniable value at $940k.

Greene (133) – Just the lazy 28 and 3 in Toby’s 250th, what a gun. He had 56% CBAs which surprised me, only to find out he had been averaging over 50% in his last 6 games. His average in the previous 5 weeks? 58. So yeah. He does have Richmond next week……

Ash (114) – The Whitfield move is a disaster for me, but Lachie Ash owners can rejoice. 28 disposals, 8/11 kick ins and it is now his backline. He could become the new Whitfield and faces Richmond this week. Load up.

Docherty (112) – Would you look at that, Doch is too good for the VFL. Docherty wound back the clock on Saturday with 30 disposals and a big ton, and is $780k with the round 12 bye. He has to be an option next week, could we get him back to half back please Vossy?!

Cerra (108) – 72% CBAs and continues to tick all boxes, Cerra has been a revelation. I will be holding him through his bye with confidence, he’s earned it.

Zorko (127) – The Zork… Why do I keep doubting this man. A lock for the Fantasy Hall of Fame.

N.Daicos (129) – About damn time. He smelt 3 brownlow votes and picked off the low hanging fruit in that final quarter v North. Much better.

Hardeman (106) – 28 disposals 10 marks, what a call 3 weeks ago. Cash generation is hard to come bye and he simply has to be a play next week. Just a great player and has well and truly earned his spot in that side. 

Dawson (139) – M1. I can’t bring myself to watch Adelaide games without him. Beast mode.

Gawn (140) – Maximus now has a L7 of 128 and once again smashed his 120 BE. Despite the slow start paying up for your rucks continues to be the play. 

Salem (139) – Amazingly this is Salem’s second 139 of the year, he just loves junk time. A safe draft pick.

Pickett (126) – Let me get this straight, Kozzy is a genuine brownlow medal chance when not in my side. Got it. He averages 108 from the 6 games he hasn’t been in my spud squad, and of course averaged 64 against the Tigers and the Eagles. Make it make sense. Gun player. 

Grundy (134) – Brodie clearly hates Max and always steps up against him, this is two big scores in a row. Good on him.

NWM (131) – A great comeback after last week’s debacle and injury cloud. The Saints were looking for the big switch all day and he got on the end of a few overlapping runs as always. He is as safe as picks come. 

Steele (126) – Just a clear and obvious option a few weeks ago leading into this run of fixtures and returning to full fitness. He’s back, for now…

Rowell (126) – They must have really improved that Marvel grass, kudos to the ground staff.

Sinclair (119) – Sinclair was another no brainer last week, he loves to feast against green matchups. Get him before it’s too late.

LOSERS

Green (85) – Here we go. I see Tom Green in my team and I genuinely become Les Grossman on the phone to Flaming Dragon. If you know you know, because he should literally take a step back and… Anyway. I see blokes like Ned Long scoring 130, Steele is back and dominating, and Tom Green may as well be Xavier Lindsay. Ned Long would be an upgrade. 25 disposals. He can’t tackle, can’t spread, can’t run, he can’t do sh*t. I spent over $1 million for this?! What a joke. 

Dale (64) – Leather poisoning will do that to you.

Reid (67) – This was the ultimate kissing for those coaches or had moved him on (me). He was on 62 at half time and imagine if he was enjoying the chip to chip for the last 5 minutes of that game?! Just can’t get a good run at it which sucks. 

Trainor & Lalor (21) – Get em out. Why are we playing Trainor at FF? Laughable stuff.

Walsh (85) – 6 weeks and 0 tons for Sammy, he has been legitimately atrocious this season. Having said that, every man has his price and he goes Essendon -> Eagles -> North post bye. One for the brave, but he is a downhill skier. 

TDK (74) – Cooked.

Whitfield (80) – Just a complete and utter disaster. Zero kick ins for the first time in 3 years, enjoying a genuine half forward graveyard shift. Whit was doing suicides up and down the field with the ball sailing over his head, and the worst part is GWS moved the ball well and won. Get him in a Nic Martin role please. This could get ugly. 

Briggs (63) – Good on him. That’s overs for Briggsy.

Hewett (46) – Oh dear Georgey boy… Just a month ago he was the only man on a ton run priced at $1.1M, now he sits in the low $900s with a L3 of 73 and a 150 BE. He might actually be below his starting price next week. Total disaster.

W.Ashcroft (78) – 26 disposals, ZERO TACKLES. At least pretend to try please Will, or we might have to kick start that petition again… Just lay a finger on somebody.

Newcombe (80) – This is a bs effort. I spent almost $1 million for this?! My ‘premium’ midfielders are so fraudulent it’s not funny. Newcombe has a L5 of 93 in the greenest run possible, and that honestly seems about where he should be at. 

Sicily (53) – You just can’t trust the sick dawg…

Sheezel (81) – Another genuinely embarrassing role change. He’s nervous of sheezey ball so now just doesn’t touch it, congratulations to the media and select North fans that begged for this. Let me put it to you this way. Who is a better half forward flanker, Miers or Sheezel? Now when you correctly answer Messi, you’ll get to the fact that North have turned one of the stars of the competition into a worse version of Gryan Miers. Incredible. Get him in the guts honestly, it’s not rocket science. 

FOS (55) – The game just slows down when the spin king finds it, this is a career PB. He’s on the up. 

Bolton (67) – Lol. This is something only I should be stupid enough to do. 

Simpson (0) – So it’s decided then. Our cash gen is COMPLETELY COOKED. It’s just not right. Unfair for both Coop and his owners, it genuinely sucks.

Hough (43) – As I said last week, let me be the only one to actually consider trading in Brady Hough. It should be for content purposes only.

Gross (5) – Ah Grossy boy… I can tell you this, he is not a forward. What a shocker. Subbed and back to the WAFL I think, maybe next year we’ll see his best.

Mills (62) – So Millsy just hates playing footy does he? He was worth the wait in draft, what a gun. Sean Millis.

Cleary (51) – One of the worst to ever do it, we have a small forward who physically can’t kick the ball through two big sticks. Take the cash and run for the hills.

THIS GAME SH*TS ME

You know what has got me triggered this week? Besides my sh*t team. It was a trend throughout the article… Random position changes by coaches that make zero sense. Sam Flanders is a perfect case study. Gold Coast have turned an up and coming star of the competition into a genuine role player. He needs to get out of there ASAP or his contract will have one less zero than it should.

Now we’re playing Harry Sheezel and Lachie Whitfield at HALF FORWARD?! I get moving them from half back, but they need to be on the ball. Ask anyone who plays it, the half forward flank is where players go to die. Even Dylan Moore has been defeated. Don’t get me started throwing Trainor to full forward. Just make it make sense. This game sh*ts me. 

THE OTHER BITS AND PIECES

2182. I feel nothing at this point. How about choosing a loser of the week from this bunch. Whitfield? Sheezel? Newcombe? Ashcroft? Marshall? Maric? Trainor? Green? Take your pick of those spuds. I spend up they suck, I go cheap they suck, I go sideways and get stuck with rookies that suck. I’m over it. Then I get to go and twitter and see people capitulating because they scored 2300?! Unbelievable stuff. 

I ran the value experiment this season and I knew it was doomed a month ago, but I can’t run it back with guns n’ rooks until 2026. So I may as well have some fun with it, you’ll be seeing some hilarious scores in the weeks to come don’t worry about that.

My trades? I can’t even open my team. I dry reach every team I see my premiums faces. It will be a big Thursday teams so be sure to check in then and stay on top of your side heading into the byes. 5 weeks of byes. Brilliant. At least I get 15 trades to fix this shambles.

Have a sh*t week as well or just want to come laugh at me? Join us for the podcast to take a deeper dive into this mess, hopefully I can at least make this game entertaining. Because it sucks to play. Good luck next week legends, we’ll do it all again.

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