Calvin’s Captains – Rd. 17

Yo there me hearties. Welcome back to the greatest captain’s advice in the world. Last week, I was as shocked as you when Ablett my #1 was restricted to just 23pts after leaving the field with a knee injury. This got people furious as apparently I didn’t tell them this was going to happen ha ha. Are you serious?

I know there are some morons out there and … oh why am I bothering. But trust me, as good as I am I can not pick when people will get injured. If I could… I wouldn’t be wearing a stupid eye patch speaking in a crappy pirate accent that occasionally sounds Irish. AND IF YOU COULD pick an injury… I doubt you’d be sitting there reading what a mad pirate has to say about picking a guy who you can’t control, in a fantasy football computer game.

C’mon guys… get real!

With that said… my top 5 was pretty good if you can look past what Gazza did, and for those who didn’t have him and cashed in on one of my other top picks, then my hat goes off to you. Well played.

Did you know? That 83% of the top 1000 had Gary Ablett in their side before lock out last week, meaning more could have traded him in! Out of that 83% you’d imagine that nearly all of them went Garry as captain after his 175 the week before… so rest easy lads, even the good guys had him!

Big Marc’s on Your Pendleberries?

Righteo, this will be controversial and something that could go either way. But the numbers don’t lie and we need to approach these guys with caution this week. No fence sitting here in Calvin’s Captains.

Scott Pendlebury scored just 95 last time he played the Pies in Round 3 this year because he was tagged by Bryce Gibbs. This tag will definitely happen again as it worked, holding SP to just 21 touches, his 2^nd lowest output this year. Carlton are a pretty good lock down team when it comes to holding teams to poor DT scores, even in the games they have lost. The Bulldogs last week only had 4×100+ scorers and a few weeks back the Eagles had the same with their top scorer only having 111pts (Priddis). Anyway, you have been warned.

Marc Murphy hates playing the Pies as he only had 69 on them earlier this year. Back in 2010, Marc has scores of 67 and 110 making them his worst team to score on in the last 2 years. He did have 116 last week and averages 120 at the MCG this year with a low of 116 in his last 5, but the numbers against him here are too risky in my Irish opinion.

Joel Selwood… If Joel is like me, coming back to work after 4 week off is very tough. In his last game against the Lions he had his 2nd highest score of all time (162) and had 110 before that game in 2010, with that 110 being at the GABBA. Yeah he’s rested and ready to go… but without any form next to his name after 4 weeks out, I will watch this week and consider next.

Yeah, statements like this can and usually do bite me in the arse, but the numbers don’t lie and these are two guys I’m staying clear of this week as I’ll be going with a safer option with a better record.

Dark Horses

With an average of 118 in his last 3 against the Lions watch out for a big score from Chapman this week. He had 115 and 123 on them in 2010 with a lowest score of 115 in his last 4 against them. He loves the GABBA where he averages 111 there in his last 3 with 123 coming in his last game there. Scott Thompson loves playing the Bombers and had 146 against them in his last game. He averages 114 on them over his last 7 games and has an average of 117 at AAMI this year. Goddard had 124 last time he played the Eagles and has been smashing it at Etihad recently with a low of just 119 there in his last 3. All three will be great.

Twitter Town – @CalvinDT

You sick of threatening me and abusing me in the comments? Or maybe you’d like a question answered or maybe you’d like to say something positive…

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“I Want My ‘C’ Back!”

Hi… remember me? My name is Dane Swan and months ago you were saying… “I just put the ‘C’ on Swanny every week.” But lately you have neglected me. It might have been because you think I was scoring poorly or I got lazy or shit at footy all of a sudden…and I did, but things have changed!

Since coming back from Arizona I have averaged 134 with scores of 148 (39d) and 130 coming in my last 2 games. Oh, and did you know this week I play Carlton, my favourite team to score DT points on?

I scored 116 (34d, 8m) on them in Rd. 3 this year and scored 114 and 140 on the buggers in 2010. In fact, I’ve had my little calculator out pressing all the buttons and have noticed I have scored 109 or more against them a massive 91% of the time in my last 11 games. I’m averaging 120 at the MCG in my last 3 games with 148 and 130 coming off that ground in my last 2 games there. Sold yet? Well check out my record on Carlton since 2006.

2011 – 116pts
2010 – 114pts, 140pts
2009 – 131pts, 97pts
2008 – 137pts, 109pts
2007 – 109pts, 123pts
2006 – 114pts, 136pts

If you’re not sold yet then you can serious shove it.

Ok, let’s get things on the level. I know you abandoned me, abused me, called me a fat pig and everything else under the sun. But you know what? I forgive you. Just give me my bloody ‘C’ back!

Do You Still Kneed Ablett?

Yes! Why have 1,583 DT coaches (as of Wednesday arvo) traded Ablett out for either  Swan, Pendles, Boyd, Marc, Redden or Mitchell? Yes they are all stars but we are talking about a guy who averaged 141 in his last 5 before tweeking his knee that has no damage. He still might play and if he does… he still might pump out a 130+. Silly trade by silly people with stupid brains.

Will Ablett play? On Tuesday night Roy said “40% chance”, Warnie said “25% chance” and the Irish Pirate said he’s a “48.4% chance”… but with that said, he might get subbed after they are down by 50. Be a late withdrawl. Attempt to play, have handball (2pts) and then realise it’s too sore and sit back down. If he plays I personally think he’ll smash it, but it’s too risky and we need to find a safer option this week.

Basically your choice this week comes down to Swan or Boyd? Matthew Boyd plays the Roos who have given up 12×100+ scores in the last 2 weeks and last time Boyd played them he scored his 3rd highest DT score ever (145).  He had 119 last week and averages 116 in his last 3 this year. So that’s the question… Swan or Boyd? For me…. It’s Swan! But all the top 5 there will be awesome!