The Knee Jerk: Round 10

DT annoys me every time; if it was a girlfriend I’d have kicked her to the curb ages ago. It kind of reminds me of my golf game; I rock up to the first in front of the peanut gallery full of hope then slice my drive off into another postcode. As the round progresses my swearing gets louder and more frequent until I finally snap and yell “F**k this game! I’m never playing again!” Then on the 17^th I’ll scrape a par then bomb my last drive right up the middle. This gives me just enough hope, like I’ve got something to work with…well IT’S A SCAM! It’s a scam just to get me back. This is exactly what DT does to me, it torture’s me all year but gives me just enough to think I can win next year. That’s what last weeks big score was…just enough to give me hope.

Shockers

Michael Evans (58)

Thud…did you hear that? That’s the sound of all the Michael Evans suitors hopes hitting the ground. He was obviously going to be the next Muston/Gysberts and it’s just lucky that he showed his true colours now rather than after week three. I guess when you have hopes as large as Eddie Betts shorts it is a long way to fall, 58 isn’t a terrible score but it is if you’re coming off a ton.

Nick Duigan (43)

It happens every year in one way or another, you probably hold onto a rookie too long thinking he may be more than what he actually is. After last week some people felt Duigan was good enough to start on the ground and I’m sure those folk are now shattered. We must remember he is a first year player and will be inconsistent. If you need the cash don’t hesitate to trade.

Brent Harvey (65)

Boomer had been sneaking under a few radars this year. Despite his age he had scored the ton in 5 of 8 games and was looking again like being a safe keeper. Check that thought- another score like this and I’ll take him to the old folk’s home myself.

Nick Riewoldt (65)

Bit of a shocker by Big Nick this week, I know he copped a knock but I’m still expecting more from a captain of a club in turmoil. On the bright side it does seem that the saints are on the way back so investment in them could be on the rise.

Jimmy Bartel (67)

Jimmy is testing all his owners’ patience. This new role change has killed his scoring potential, he doesn’t even collect the junk time stats in the last quarter like he used to. You know if you trade him he will come back later in the year and hurt you so I guess you just grin and ware this current patch.

Bandwagoners

Marc Murphy (145)

Murphy was my tip this year to breakout into super premium status. I had him from the start and have enjoyed every bit of the ride; he is turning into one of the more consistent mids in the game who is capable of huge scores every week. Judd will always cop number one leech so Murphy always has that in his favour. It’s not too late to get on before his price really rockets.

Tendai Mzungu (85)

He was the player who was most selected before the season started, but injury cruelled him. He will now be the most transferred in player this week. Forget the big stat about Sandi; Freo haven’t won a game in donkeys years without Big 211 but that won’t affect Mzungu’s worth in our sides – get on!

Steve Johnson (171)

Stevie was at his poaching best tonight; one of those nights when you just want him in the 50 on his own. In truth since he came back from the shoulder injury he has been awesome, Racking up stats in the middle and kicking goals. Special mention goes out to his man K-hunt who also kicked a cracking goal – it got a hater like me out of my seat so it must have been good!

Other news

Bile-o-meter

There are some things in life that make me instantly sick; seeing people tongue kiss in public is one, listening to the sycophant pit team of the winning F1 driver on the radio telling him how good he is is another but the cake taker last weekend was logging onto fan footy and seeing the bandaid on Shaun Higgins.  After all the waiting, all the tough times in multi bye weeks he finally comes back and gets another paper cut injury. What really made my bile rise was the early sub. So that’s it for him, he has made the list, in the bile-o-fax listed under ‘d’ for do not use. He has annoyed me so much that he has got me contemplating the cardinal sin….the sideways trade. And not just any side ways trade, one that makes me quake in my boots. Higgins -> Chappy. So many things can go wrong with this trade…and probably would… Chappy can pull a hammy, Higgins can re-find form but to name a few so it is a true testament to how annoying Higgins has been that I’m thinking of doing a trade like this to a guy I only bought five weeks ago. NEVER again Higgins, never again.

Fortune teller

Fortune telling is not easy. It’s not as hard as trying to clean every last whisker out of the sink after you’ve shaved but its close. My crystal ball is usually accurate and it has just come up with a ripper. It has told me that Richmond will again finish 9^th this year, and its going to be awesome! Because we all know as soon as this happens it’s only a matter of time before they are cutting up memberships and spitting on coaches again. So come on tiges fans! Start chewing chewies to get that saliva pumping, won’t be long before its back in use.

Decisions, Decisions

There are some easy decisions to make in life and some difficult ones. Which cubicle you choose when you go to a three berth toilet facility is an easy one. Number 1 is always a no-no, it has been bombed by the people who couldn’t wait and hit the first one they saw. Number 3 is also a no-no, it has been bombed by the guy who knew it was going to be bad and wanted to be far away from people. That leaves number 2, the correct choice. Nobody goes here because they don’t want to sit in-between two people. Anyway after that filthy insight I’ll get onto the real point of the subject. Each week in DT we are at a cross roads, whether it be player v player or trade v no trade. Each decision plays itself out like a ‘choose your own adventure’ book, with a different ending. My decision this week was Hodge vs. Montagna .  I did all the sums, all the form but in the end it all comes down to a gut feel and luck. The way this plays out could determine the difference between finishing in the top 10000 and the top 1000. Doesn’t sound like a big deal but there is money on the line here! It’s not like the ‘choose your own adventure’ book where if you don’t like the ending they gave you can back track and try again. This is for keeps.

Pain tolerance

The big buzz word this week has been ‘turf toe’ but essentially Big 211 is missing four weeks with a stubbed toe. Let’s be honest here, when you stub your toe in thongs its hurts like buggery, but in a shoe…not so much. It may force you to do the fake stumble jog to cover up that you have tripped but that’s all. It’s no where near as painful as tow bar pain. You know the one when you are walking between the cars in the Safeway car park and you run into the tow bar with your shin. I’d happily miss four weeks with that; sorry love, can’t mow the lawn for a month, got a tow bar injury.

Jumping at shadows

You know when you are walking down the street in the morning and you walk through a spider web; you frantically flail your arms all over the place trying to get it off. If there is somebody across the road watching, to them you like a raving maniac flapping at the breeze –slightly embarrassing. Well this is how poor Aaron Davey looked last week when he flapped one arm in the air and pulled out of that contest. Only it wasn’t in front of one person, it was in front of the entire footy public. I reckon he was hard done by, not everybody is made for hard body contests. It’s like asking a light welter weight like Amir Kahn to take on a Heavyweight like Mike Tyson. They both play the same sport but it’s a non contest. So why should we ask skinny outside players to get crushed by hulking defenders? I reckon we should cut him, and other lighter players some slack. Big plodders stop chasing fast midfielders all the time, which is effectively them pulling out of the contest but they never get called on it.

Anyway that’s it for a half arsed knee jerk this week, I picked up the flu and feel as flat as Gary Moorcroft’s haircut at the moment. Any other thoughts or knee jerks out there?

P.S lets home Barca smash those scumbags from Manchester United in the champions league final.