Game of Thrones v AFL Fantasy

Hearing Ray Chamberlain refer to Trent Cotchin as “Your Grace” in a recent game at Kings Landing (the MCG) inspired us to immediately draw parallels between our great game and another game, the epic saga, the Game of Thrones.

Who plays who? Who kills who, who smites, who dismembers, and who eats babies? Who is the ruler of the North? Who is an overly pompous bald man? Who is a downright lascivious dirty whore who everyone loves? Who is sly and manipulative, who is open, honest and vulnerable?

Find out in our expose into the true  fantasy world of the AFL in the biggest battle of all time:

The Greatest Game of all vs The Game of Thrones!

Warning: There are some spoilers from the TV show

Jon Snow:  Not really sure where he belongs, a young talented fighter who joined the Knights Watch and carried the team whilst having to fight alongside sub-optimal bretheren.

Callan Ward: Left the WB to join the GWS. His back must be hurting from having to carry the midfield.

Robert Baratheon:  Once a fearless warrior who became king. He then rested on his laurels and the power that came with the throne went to his head. He became fat.

Buddy Franklin: What has happened to Buddy? After starting the season reasonably well he has averaged a pathetic 63 over the last month prior to the GC game. Most of his owners are probably wishing he gets done by a wild boar.

Ned Stark: Was supposed to be the hero and the symbol of the North. That was until he lost his head.

Taylor Walker: Terrible tragedy for one of the main men of the Crows

Joffrey Baratheon: An evil sadist who inflicts suffering for reasons unknown. Perhaps the most despised character in all of television.

Ryan Crowley: Tortures owners every week by shutting down opposition premium midfielders. He has no mercy.

Jamie Lannister: Skillful, confident and the future of the Lannister house. Recently lost his hand but will no doubt play hurt

Joel Selwood: Has been the “chosen one” since he entered the league. An unbeleivable winning %.

Tyrion Lannister: Not as skillful as his brother but just as effective given his sharp mind. Uses mind over muscle to get the job done

Scott Selwood: Not as skilful as his older brother so has to use his head rather than skill to be a force. Has developed one of the leagues most potent ducking techniques to get the job done.

Rob Stark: The next king. The future of the North. Young, fearless and extremely talented.

Jaeger O’Meara: Is going to be an out and out GUN!

Theon Greyjoy: Was tired of playing second fiddle and left to become his own man and make his own mark. Wanted to return home, but is now far from home

Kurt Tippett: Hated by his adopted state (SA) since fleeing. Will he return to inflict punishment on his former team like Theon did?

Jorah Mormont: Once a great knight, branded a traitor and now banished. Has joined forces with Daenaerys with the hope of being part of a resurgent tribe that is now powered by Dragons.

Brendon Goddard: Time will tell if Goddard’s defection will end with a premiership.

Daenerys Targaerean: Cunning and dangerous. Has come from nowhere to lay claim to the throne.

Kane Cornes: Like the old Targarean house, Kane was once a DT king, then disappeared as other up and comers took over his mantle, he’s now returned with a vengence putting up scores as if it’s 2007.

Margaery Tyrell: Flying under the radar but quietly getting the job done in spectacular fashion

Kieren Jack: Is there a more underrated DTer in the game? 1 score under a ton this yr.

Ros: slut

Stevie J: What more needs to be said? Putting up monster numbers in the Geelong midfield this year.

Tywin Lannister: The lord of Casterly Rock. Despite his advancing age is proving to be a more than formidable opponent. There does not appear to be an end in sight for this stallwart.

Nick Riewoldt: We thought he was too old. We thought his body would break down playing in such a physical position. He’s proved us all wrong though and is amazingly in career best form.

Arya Stark: Annoying

Hayden Ballentyne: Just go away

Khal Drogo: Was great while it lasted. Dominant like no other for a brief period.

Justin Westhoff: We all bought in and then got absoltuely f#@*ed

Petyr Baelish: Doesn’t possess elite sword skills, wasn’t born with physical gifts and didn’t inherit dragons. “Littlefinger” instead relies on his nous to have an impact and get what he wants.

Dane Swan: Like Lord Baelish, Dane wasn’t born with gifts but waddles around a footy ground picking up monster stats. Rose to the top relying on being at the right place at the right time.

Varys: Slowly goes about his work. Underrated and flys under the radar, but gets the job done and gets what he needs.

Pearce Hanley: The 2nd best DT defender yet is only in 1 in 7 teams? Going under the radar it would seem. Picking up DT points with a minimal of fuss.

Cersei Lannister: A Bitch who is constantly complaining

Heath Shaw: As above