Chook’s Rooks – Round 9

One of the more enjoyable things about being a primary school teacher is when the students bounce joke ideas off me before testing them in the playground. On Monday morning, two of the kids came in and it was clear from their broad grins that they had some new material. The taller of the two, let’s call him Ivan for confidentiality’s sake, went first.
“I’ve got a new one for you, Mr Chook,” he said, already giggling.
“Righteo, let’s hear it then,” I said.
“Darren Pfeiffer’s first quarter,” he burst out, rolling on the floor, laughing and getting his long mullet snagged on a nearby chair leg.
The uncontrollable laughter lasted at least five minutes before his mate Jake, an eight-year-old who is far smaller in stature and who, it’s got be said, has already developed a bad case of short-man syndrome, settled himself enough to half say, half chortle: “If you thought that was funny, wait ‘til you hear mine, Mr Chook.”
“I knew you’d have one, Jakey,” I said. “When it comes to jokes, you’re the king.”
“Alright, wait for it… best joke I heard all weekend, Mr Chook. Wait for it… wait for it… Tommy Walsh’s whole f$%king game!”
Okay, you worked out the punchline to this one a few paragraphs ago, but who can claim to have predicted the scoreline that Sydney forward Walsh would finish with in his second game? (Apart from stkildathunda, that is.) A one-kick, two free-kicks-against performance resulted in a Dream Team score of -3, just a week after he scored 85 on his long-awaited debut. Sure, that was against Melbourne, who not only give away DT points for fun, they gift wrap them as well, while the second score was against his old side, and one that’s a little stingier to boot, but -3! Not 30, or 15, but -3! Like Jake (not his real name) said, it was the joke of the weekend.

Three-or-more gamers

While Walsh was doing all he could to kill off any interest in himself as a downgrade target, some of our more experienced rookies were murdering their ability to make more money for our Dream Teams. A week after Greater Western Sydney midfielder Toby Greene brought his price rises to an abrupt halt with a mid-range score, a whole host of fellow rooks followed suit. Melbourne midfielder James Magner backed up consecutive 70s with a 55, GWS mid Stephen Coniglio came down from his three-week stint in the clouds with a 53, and defender Tommy Bugg continued to taper despite a week’s rest with a 44 on his return to the Giants line-up. Strong prior form ensures Gold Coast mid Kyal Horsley enters round 10 with a very reachable breakeven of 44, but his first failure – a tackle-low 52 against Port Adelaide – has applied a little bit of brake pressure to those record-breaking price rises and adjourned the talk of him being an M6 keeper. GWS mid-fwd Adam Kennedy plunged to new depths with a 24 against Essendon. That round-one 116 seems more fiction than fact these days, like when we try to explain to our grandchildren that Daniel Merrett once came within a point of reaching 150.
It wasn’t all bad, of course. In fact, some of the three-or-more gamers were good. Very good. 119 points worth of good. GWS mid-fwd Adam Treloar was talked up before the game, but made even his most ardent admirers sound like they had under-rated him with an all-action game against the Bombers. Fellow mid-fwd Dayne Zorko needed a late spurt to get there, but finished with a second consecutive 90 – a 94 to be exact – which was matched by GWS mid Dylan Shiel, while Giants teammates Dom Tyson (mid), Jeremy Cameron (fwd) and Jon Giles (ruck) rounded out the top five (it was a tie for fifth between Cameron and Giles, both on 92, before you accuse this chicken of not being able to count). Forwards Ahmed Saad (St Kilda) and Sam Day (Gold Coast) recorded season-highs with 88 and 80 respectively, yet another GWS mid-fwd, Devon Smith, continued his string of strong scores with a 76, and ruck duo Billy Longer (Brisbane) and Orren Stephenson (Geelong) made the most of their increased opportunities in the middle to snare 70s.

Two gamers

Walsh isn’t going to register a negative score every week, but surely he’s dented his chances of convincing Dream Team coaches of recruiting him. Dented? What am I saying? He’s completely crumpled the hood and ripped the rear end off his chances, I’d say. That leaves Zeph Skinner (Western Bulldogs) and Alex Sexton (Gold Coast) as your only downgrade options in the forward line this week, and Skinner, who’s thinner than an ant’s dinner, is more sinner than winner with scores of just 28 and 19 so far. Sexton, one of those handy mid-fwd types, is also your only hope if you want to downgrade a midfielder. He didn’t quite live up to my lofty expectations when he scored a 60 in his first full game on Saturday, on the back of a sub-affected first up 22, but the kid clearly has class and packs enough scoring punch to just qualify as a cash cow, providing he plays sufficient games from here on in.
In defence, the choice is between Carlton’s Josh Bootsma and GWS youngster Sam Darley. It’ll come as no surprise to regular readers that Darley gets my nod here, although I’d be warning coaches away from Bootsma even if Darley wasn’t a favourite of mine, given that both his job security and scoring potential appear to be on the wrong side of average. Darley, on the other hand, has proven his scoring potential is up there with the best of them by amassing 42 points in just a quarter of footy, having ditched the green vest at the last change of the Giants’ home stadium debut against Essendon. While those points have to be taken in the context of a fresh player entering a game that had already had the fizz sucked out of it, it’s still an impressive effort, and likely gives Darley another game or two to convince Sheeds and Co to keep him in the firsts for a while longer. Job security is the key question here, with Darley currently on the fringe of the best 22 (he was 23rd in the pecking order for round-one, apparently), and rests guaranteed even if he does step up to be a regular contributor to the Giants’ inaugural season. The fact that he shares the round 11 bye with others that you might be looking to offload from that week (like Bugg) harms Darley’s appeal somewhat, although the lack of decent defenders on the horizon enhances his chances.

One gamers

There certainly weren’t any new faces in the defender department pop up in round nine, but there was a Daniel Chick fistful of forwards and midfielders. Unfortunately, I think the forwards are dead to us as Dream Team options, largely due to their inflated starting prices – you can’t get any of Aaron Black, (North Melbourne, 55 points), Ben Griffiths (Richmond, 37), or Alik Magin (GC, 20) for less than $150k – or, in the case of Collingwood’s $100k forward Jamie Elliott (11 points), job security concerns. While the midfielders who debuted in round nine all at least come in at a reasonable price, none of Elliott Yeo, (Brisbane, 54 points), Marley Williams (Collingwood, 39), Daniel “Don’t Spell It With A Y” Pearce (Western Bulldogs, 36) or Jonathan Simpkin (Geelong, 12) really interest me that much, bar possibly the first in the list, the Yeo bro. A couple of decent preseason cup scores showed Yeo has potential DTing ability, and he actually had more possessions (16) than teammate Zorko (14) on the weekend, but handballed more than he kicked and lacked the tackles to match his high-scoring Cub mate. A final quarter that yielded just three points hurt, too. However, as a member of the multi-bye round 11 gang, Yeo has timed his run perfectly to be a good downgrade option for a fully fattened cow from the rounds 12 or 13 crews. If he plays this week, he’ll sit on the bubble over his bye and then be ready to be brought in before round 12 begins. Pearce is in the same boat, of course, as is Black. I just wish Darley could’ve been held back one more week!

Here’s hoping our rookies follow the trail blazed by Treloar this week and not tread in the footsteps of Walsh. I don’t need any more jokes from Ivan and Jake next week.

Aight, let me know whether you’re tempted by any of the two gamers this week or are holding your trades/cash for the rough seas ahead. Catch me on Twitter @ChookDT.