The Weekend Wash-Up – Twin Towers

It’s round 10 and most of our teams are still a total shambles, we’ve been busy in therapy over the last couple of weeks and it continues today. It’s time for your weekly fantasy therapy session, it’s time for the weekend wash-up!

Legends

Marshall (158) – 27 disposals, 8 marks and 40 hitouts. Matt Flynn is taking reverse ruck tagging to new levels. Ro dog was back barking and now has a L3 of 121, and a breakeven of 50… Finally I got a ruck call right.

Xerri (155) – 12 tackles and 51 hitouts, I cannot believe what I was watching between Nank and Xerri. There is no doubt in my mind these two shook hands at the start of the game and boosted their stats. Amazing watch if you owned the X man, unwatchable if you didn’t.

Newcombe (123) – Great bounce back Duke, good to see him tackling again. However we can’t have good things in this game and we’ve now heard he returned to Melbourne in a moon boot. Surely that’s a pisstake. Please.

Anderson (116) – Legend is generous, but he is value… Every man has their price.

Heeney (122) – 38 disposals and 2.5, that could have been one of the all time great games. After being on 11 at QT, Heeney took the piss to become a serious option for us next week. Good to see him stay in the guts.

Cerra (121) – After being shifted to half back due to injuries, Cerra backed it up with 34 disposals, 7 tackles and more CBAs than Walsh. Big tick and a big relief.

Ch.Warner (116) – 30 and 2, a classic Cheeksy performance. But this is his ceiling. 25 and 2 for a 90 coming up next week.

Dawson (138) – 27 disposals, 9 marks and 8 tackles. That’s what he does. You’ll still get the odd tagged or full forward 70, but he is always capable of bouncing back with this. Absolute beast.

Bolton (119) – This is right up my alley this year. 24 disposals and 3.3, when he’s on fire Shai is elite. There will be a 40 on the horizon I have no doubt.

Ash (110) – Little hog. Leave Whitfield alone mate, know your place.

Callaghan (102) – What an elite player and what a bullsh*t injury. This was a 120+ and now he’s out. Epic. Just epic. I might be eating a donut, but Finn is going nowhere.

Smith (123) – Tagged? No worries for Bazklenka. An unstoppable force. A few other players can take note of his work rate.

Rozee (109) – Getting it done.

Blicavs (101) – ….. You couldn’t, could you? He has the role and it’s working.

Dale (154) – Bloody hell. A straight swap for Jayden Short. And in my side until a Saturday morning meltdown, that was the end of my weekend fantasy care factor and he wasn’t even in my team. The Dogs now live under the roof for the rest of the season. You can do it.

Kennedy (113) – Kennedy remains in the midfield and remains a dominant force. He joins the million dollar club and sits comfortably in the top 6 forwards. Unbelievable.

Martin (105) – Honestly a great effort in such a bad loss, Nic is still a fantasy gun.

Richards (103) – 27 disposals and 2.2, flame on. What a bloody jet.

Nankervis (150) – X and Nank made a deal with the devil on the weekend. That won’t happen again.

Gawn (117) – The hottest player in the comp by far, what a win and what a performance! Just getting it done, he is going to monster Grundy next week.

Pickett (101) – Beyond a joke. Great player though, only shows up in the toughest games.

Sinclair (139) – Jack’s role has been up and down and he was back in the middle in the last quarter, but bloody hell he can rack up in a green matchup. If only he played Richmond and West Coast every game

Hough (108) – Maybe he can succeed in the midfield……. He’s cheap, but leave bad coaches like me to make stupid picks like this.

Losers

N.Daicos (88) – His face in my team is really starting to just p*ss me off. He has been a disgrace for 3 weeks and the worst thing is, the Pies are winning. So much for untaggable. I’ve had to bring in a new team philosophy, only bring in players you like and want to support. Nick Daicos does not fit that bill for me, what a disaster.

JHF (11) – This game sh*ts me. Nothing more to say.

J.Daicos (82) – 29 disposals for 82, how is that even possible? He needs to show something more coming into their bye. 

Jiath (34) – Yeah….. Don’t shop in these areas.

Flanders (47) – A bigger fall from grace than Lance Armstrong.

Sicily (57) – You can just never trust the sick dog.

Walsh (81) – Put him in the bin. Completely cooked, thank god he tackles. He is becoming a Kmart Jack Steele.

Roberts (73) – Not even close to good enough and makes his L3 84. He would be on watch but let’s be honest, he is 12th in line for the chop in my side.

Cleary (36) – Sh*t. Just sh*t. My bench is bleeding bash and I don’t have the trades to even cash them in right now. Total disaster.

Co. Warner (27) – At this point it can’t be argued, he’s getting a game for his brother. I’m praying he gets dropped, he’ll head back to basement price in no time.

Peatling (77) – Professional benchwarmer now is he? What a joke. 65% TOG and I have no idea where it came from, what a terrible pick. Sorry guys.

Crisp (59) – Oh boy… I guess Crispy isn’t going to get a month in the midfield.

Whitfield (92) – Moved to the wing in the last quarter for 0 kick ins and 6 points. You can’t make this stuff up. GWS and the tsunami are in shambles.

Green (78) – Can someone teach Tom Green how to stick a tackle please? He must have let 10 blokes go that he had nailed. A disgraceful effort, he looked slow and I’ll leave it at that.

Butters (46) – This is surely a typo. What an absolutely disgraceful effort. Watch out for the Ocean Mullin tag.

El-Hawli (29) – Good on you Scotty. Making the big statements. Embarrassing.

Merrett (54) – Holy sh*t. I knew the Bulldogs were restrictive but wowee, they just belt your midfield into oblivion. That’s a round ending score. Phone off and check next week type of stuff. He gets cheap every damn year…

Caldwell (57) – Still hasn’t returned from the hamstring injury… I still like him when he’s back and fully fit.

Daniel (77) – Sheez was back up forward and the matchup was as green as it gets for loose defenders. So Caleb dishes up 1 mark and another 70. Embarrassing.

Trainor (50) – Yze is the loser here. Luke’s time is almost up.

FOS (46) – A few great spins, a few not so great spins. Loves a good spin.

Macrae (84) – Old, slow and washed… I’m about to admit defeat. Now he’s in for back scans?!?! Old man Macrae.

NWM (76) – Nas runs hot and cold through the midfield, his role is all over the place. And now he’s hurt. Avoid for the short term and look to grab him off his bye. The fixtures are glorious though…

Phillipou (50) – You’ve gone early on Hugo Garcia 2.0. The poo lived up to his name, he was sh*thouse. In all seriousness he will be fine, but I’d just love to see some form and fitness first. 59% TOG is a joke. May as well have been vested.

This game sh*ts me

I find some similarities in AFL Fantasy and a round of golf. Have you ever walked off the course genuinely happy with your round? You might have had a day out, but I can almost guarantee there was a chunked wedge or a bad putt in there somewhere. It’s a chase for perfection that you’ll never reach. It’s the same sh*t in Fantasy. Somewhere along the line there was a shocking trade or two, and you spend your Sunday night wondering what could have been. We all do it!

Bailey Dale and Jack Steele or Tom Green and James Peatling. And a dumb captain. Good bye 160 points. ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTY POINTS. We’re never happy, and the hindsight is unhealthy. But that was nasty work. This game sh*ts me.

The other bits and pieces

2068, ranked 6107. Embarrassing, it truly is. But I’ll push on, with a new team identity. I’m only bringing in players I like and can get around. Ed Richards, gun player, good fantasy scorer, all around great guy you’d happily let your daughter to date. He’s in. Finn Callaghan. He stays. Tom Green? Nick Daicos? Get ******. 

How am I meant to do trades when I have a new forced out every 3 hours. Macrae, JHF, Callaghan, Newcombe?! I like Heeney, he fits the cool guy criteria. After that, I’m not too sure.

I’d say bring on next week but honestly, this is going to be one of the greatest sh*t shows we’ve ever seen by a coach trying his best to not suck. Tune into the podcast next week to find out how this goes. I’ll guarantee you, it doesn’t go well. Now, phone off until Thursday. Cya legends.

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