The Weekend Wash-Up – Briggs Problems

We finally had a high scoring weekend of fantasy! It’s just a shame I don’t have any good players. This is going to be fun. Strap in, it’s time for the weekend wash-up!

Legends

Gawn (138) – Welcome back Munta. Suddenly he is going 127 in his last 3 and was actually a worthwhile pick. 25 disposals and 9 marks, he absolutely dominated this game from start to almost the finish, when he got benched for the last half of Q4. Unlucky for those who had him captain. 

Smith (132) – 32 disposals including 19 kicks, 5 marks, 9 tackles and a goal. He did all he could out there today for the Cats, and has proven to be the easiest pick in Classic and a top end draft pick. Averaging 114 for the season and has to be a week to week genuine captaincy option with these top end scores.

Salem (139) – Averaging 100 and have to respect what he’s doing. The Dees love chippy chippy…

Bowey (123) – OK. Sorry Jake I wasn’t familiar with your game. I didn’t realise he was like THAT. Now averaging 97 and his last two scores have been beautiful for 4.86% of the comp.

Petracca (114) – Popular trade in option this week and for good reason, he’s back in the guts and averaging 106 in his last 3. A no brainer.

Rivers (110) – 28 disposals and 12 marks takes Trent Rivers to 104 in his L3. Is he worth a crack now? He just feels like the type of guy I’d bring in only for him to score 60 and get stuck in my side. 

Lindsay (98) – What a pain in the ass that score was as a non-owner, he is awesome and that injury only delayed the inevitable. Gun.

N.Daicos (120) – Scary hours. 31 Disposals, 7 tackles and a goal. Pretty funny that his first touch was a goal with 15 metres of space in the first couple of minutes of the game. Congratulations to Sam Durham, the leagues first reverse tagger. 

J.Daicos (119) – 36 disposals and 9 marks… including a couple contested. He’s bottomed out now and might be a nice target as a POD, I wouldn’t rule him out as a guy who could average 100+.

Brayshaw (127) – 37 disposals, 5 tackles and 4 marks, he’s on a genuine tear. L5 117 and averaging 32 disposals per game, this is why it’s so confusing when he dishes up a random 70. Very popular pick in the top 1000, so nowhere near my team.

NWM (131) – Moving into the midfield and dominating. At least from a fantasy perspective, and that’s all we care about. Averaging 105 is massive.

Neale (128) – 31 and 3, yeah I think Lachie Neale is getting tagged again next week. He’s reasonably good at footy. Not sure about him as a fantasy option, but don’t listen to my advice.

Zorko (124) – He’s back. And he’s relatively cheap. I’m tempted.

Butters (126) – 13 tackles, Zak Butters is so back. That’s the kind of desire I need from my players.

Xerri (122) – Speaking of back, the X man has returned. That’s a monster score in a tough matchup, he won’t be under a mil for much longer. All aboard. 

English (124) – Averaging 107 in his L5 and only down $50k on the season, Timmy has turned out to be a rock solid starting pick. What a year.

Whitfield (117) – The only thing stopping him from scoring 140 was a rogue foot injury. The tsunami is a beautiful fantasy watch.

Ash (113) – Wow. So my best starting pick I traded after Round 1. Gotcha, sweet as. He looks legit this year, the role is awesome. Still an option.

Ch.Warner (119) – 24 and 2, classic Cheeksy only he had some tackling to go along with it! $850k forward, not cheap enough for me.

Roberts (114) – At half time I called Roberts a failed pick. And he returned serve with an 80 point second half to stick that one right up me. Epic save, great man.

Noble (109) – Just getting it done. L5 104 and still incredible value, an amazing miss by me to not chase his value a few weeks ago. Awesome role.

Cripps (131) – Yes he’s cheap but I would be sick getting stuck with Patrick Cripps 70’s in my team. Seriously though he’s very cheap. 

Mannagh (118) – Epic draft pick.

TDK (117) – Much more like it. Only 2 marks and 3 tackles as well, could have been even better. As long as Mr Worldwide is nowhere to be seen TDK will be great. Good to see Carlton winning too.

Hewett (114) – The ton run looked to be ending at 3 quarter time, but he said come with me boys and scored 44 in the last. Kicked the sealer as well. Just an elite player. 

Meek (131) – 19 disposals, 3 marks , 4 tackles and 58 hit outs! 102 in the last 5, 116 last 3. Scored 160 points more than Briggs last two weeks. The big Meek man is back and I should have got him in. I just went a couple of months early. 

Losers

BRIGGS (50) – And to think I let this guy off a baking last week. That’s bad coaching. What an oaf. At three quarter time for the second week in a row, Kingsley has had to go full get Minson off. Big ******** ******. I’ve seen 2 games of Kieran Briggs career and I’m seriously sitting here, wondering how the f**k this guy was ever even a semi-capable ruckman. Never mind a guy who had averaged over 90 for two consecutive seasons, and returned from concussion to average 90 over 3 weeks. 39 and 50. THIRTY NINE AND FIFTY. He is averaging 44.5 for me. He went backwards from the end of the second quarter. It’s insane stuff. He has ended my season and quite frankly I hope last week is the end of his career. Get big Preussy back.

Taranto (76) – From hero to zero. Not ideal that Jack Viney was hanging off him everytime he went near it and that can be seen in Viney’s 15 tackles. Sometimes you just need to dig deep and show a bit more fight though. Start tackling him back, through your weight around. One tackle is simply not going to cut it Tim.

Lalor (41) – Time to go.

Reid (36) – Time to go.

Serong (75) – 32 disposals, 2 tackles and 0 marks! 2 points per disposal is genuinely nasty work. 

Garcia (20) – Ross. You couldn’t have made an example of someone a little more senior than your 20 year old midfielder? Like, I don’t know, your captain who covers the ground like Harry Boyd? Bizarre stuff. Obviously has to go.

Daniel (75) – Sheezel was back at half back and rightfully so. Where does that leave Caleb Daniel? Second fiddle. And rightfully so… Stinker. Sliding under the radar how poor he has been, flag it.

Simpkin (51) – The Jy Simpkin linsanity run has ended. Jump overboard immediately.

FOS (41) – If only you got a point for every spin. The man can spin. 

Green (87) – In the clear at the tribunal but not in the clear for his fantasy scoring. Not even close to good enough.

Sanders (51) – Sweet, sweet justice. You take the 90 average over the last 2 weeks, note his role and send him packing.

Heeney (70) – This would have ended my season, but my final moves weren’t much better. After a 44 point first quarter the weasel went missing again, Sydney are a total sh*tshow.

Flanders (70) – The ultimate graveyard shift continues. Absolute grimace shake special in draft.

Grundy (54) – This guy is a pig hahahahahaha. Classic. Understandable we have put that term away for the time being. What an embarrassing effort.

Holmes (65) – Weak as piss, it’s all I can say. My man crush on Munta is very quickly turning into pure hatred, I don’t have words for what I have witnessed the last 2 weeks. What’s even more annoying is if he does turn it around, he will be an easy upgrade target. 4 scores of 70s or less it’s nasty work. If he gets breathed on he puts the tools down for the day, forget about it.

Stewart (44) – Man oh man. Can I get a washed watch? He is the gift that keeps on giving, what a pathetic effort. L5 63. Total disaster.

This game sh*ts me

The entire game sh*ts me to be honest. I’m just over it. How does Kieran Briggs average 40 points? Seriously. Can it at least make some sense. Kozzy Pickett is just terrible coaching I can accept that. And the worst part is I’ll be stuck with half of these sh*t players for the next two months. Value is one thing, but just remember. Can you stomach watching them play football? Tread carefully. Plenty of lessons have been learnt for me this year, it’s just now I have to rock up here every week knowing my team is just a dog’s breakfast. It’s a joke. This game sh*ts me.

The other bits and pieces

I can’t even bring myself to say it. 2105. A country f**king mile behind par, rank dropped to 6k, too many piss ants to deal with. The writing is on the wall for my season, next week is do or die type stuff. Line in the sand. And I won’t be going into battle with Kieran Briggs I’ll assure you that.

Briggs -> Literally anyone

Warner -> Busslinger (DPP)

I said it couldn’t be that bad again last week, I just didn’t realise it would only be the case for my team. Oh well, at least it makes for good content. See you all next week. Maybe. Check out the podcast for my full meltdown!

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