The Weekend Wash-Up – Worst 18s

Well that, was f**king dreadful. After the round that was I’m sure we’re all in need of a fantasy therapy session, and that’s what I’m here for! It’s time for the weekend wash-up.

Legends

Newcombe (142) – 32 disposals and 11 tackles. Number 1 banana. Post bye he has to be an option.

Hewett (120) – 16 CBAs, Super Hewy is in the main midfield rotation and loving life. Great pick.

TDK (107) – 40 hitouts and totally dominant in the ruck against Meeky which is not what I expected. I was not familiar with his game. 

Daicos (136) – If you wanted to circle a game where Nick Daicos will take the piss, a Friday night game against the Bulldogs going head to head was it. Tag concerns coming off his bye, but he’s Nick Daicos. 

Libba (109) – Safe as houses. You couldn’t go wrong, and yet I still looked elsewhere.

Merrett (138) – 26 CBAs, I don’t know why I ever doubted him. Would love to see that role more often. Merrett and Caldwell don’t deserve this, they’re too good for them.

Dawson (134) – 30 CBAs was awesome to see, and Dawson took the Michael Jamieson with 33 disposals, 8 marks, 6 tackles, stuffing the stat sheet again. Shoutout to Sam Durham for the worst tag attempt I have ever seen. Embarrassing.

Keays (132) – 4 snags for old Keaysa this week, that’s one you come up against in draft and know it’s not your week. 

Crouch (131) – 32 touches and 8 tackles, oh how sweet it must be to own Crouchy in draft. One of the best to ever do it.

Soligo (101) – 27 and 2 for the fresh Soligo, he looks a much better player this year. I’m scarred by his hot start last year but this could be real.

Rozee (145) – 22 CBAs, 39 disposals but most important of all… Visible thirst. He looks hungry as the captain and if he doesn’t get tagged, you can guarantee he’s going big. Why did I not start him? Because he stubbed his toe. F**k me.

Farrell (114) – 6 kick ins, nice role and he’s averaging 100. Kane won’t play Richmond every week but he has kind fixtures to come and I picked Jayden Short and Matt Roberts. And Harry Perryman. You could definitely do worse.

Macrae (153) – I was trending towards a very dark place on Saturday Night. Until this man stood up. Amongst the rubble…. Surrounded by 21 cowards, Jack Macrae put two teams on his back. He didn’t stop running. He didn’t head tilt. He certainly didn’t make any piss take 15m half arsed leads. I’ll be showing his tackling tape to the rest of the squad on Monday. 35 disposals @83%, 16 contested, 9 clearances, 10 tackles, 7 I50’s, 153 fantasy points. Have that one Bevo you idiot. He had me out of my seat in borderline tears, well played skipper. And that makes his average 131 for those keeping track. Fat and slow they said. 

Marshall (142) – He’s back… 32 hits outs, 29 disposals, 6 marks and 6 tackles. Yes it was a gimme matchup, but I’ve seen Rodog last year look like he has been shot in the leg one week, and come back to average 150 over 5 rounds. I need him in.

Daniel (114) – 31 disposals and 6 marks. 8 kick ins, and played on from all except 1. All class. 

Zorko (126) – After a slow start, never doubt the Zork with a 59 point 2nd term. 26 kicks 2 handballs. Disgustingly beautiful stuff. 

Berry (118) – Playing at half back and absolutely dominating to start the season. Huge DPP watch and a legitimate option. 

Oliver (114) – 36 disposals 12 clearances, Clarry is back and it’s great to see. 

Powell (98) – It is bad of me to include a legend that didn’t even ton, but I have to shoutout my boy Tommy Powell. Purely because last week he scored 120 but there was some slight concerns, and those fears were completely wiped away with how awesome he was on Sunday. Holy hell. He is in the guts to stay and looks hungry. We speak of visible thirst. Genuine hard leads for a 20 metre chip backwards, that’s the shit I love to see. He is going to average 105+.

Warner (129) – A sign of things to come next year perhaps for cheeksy? (He’s not coming)

Jackson (104) – I don’t trust Darcy to come back soon, and I don’t trust reidy to come back at all. He has done this before, but it can’t be ignored.

Losers

Day (75) – 17 CBAs, role was not the issue. He’s just sh*t. Embarrassing stuff. I said it last year and didn’t listen to myself, he’s just not a fantasy player. Pack your locker up.

Meek (65) – Yeah… Slight misread by me. 28 points from non hitouts, 1 tackle. Not even close to good enough. Hurting in draft and a must trade in Fantasy. 

Hollands (48) – 11 disposals, zero thirst, perhaps even negative thirst? He was purposely running to where he couldn’t receive the ball. He is the midfield Sam Taylor, only he didn’t have a low BE. Shocker.

Camporeale (30) – If Vossy wasn’t a moron he will be fine, he is by no means Carlton’s worst player. So yeah. He’s done. 

Sanders (69) – 3 CBAs, if you want an ugly watch just keep a close eye on old Ryley playing football. Not good enough to get the midfield role and he will have to go ASAP. Horrendous.

Perryman (43) – Congratulations to Harry Perryman for joining the hall of fame. Of sh*t house fantasy picks. 

Rankine (70) – Seriously? What are we doing here? Adelaide have won 2 games and they are now getting so f**king pretty they’re subbing a fully healthy Izak Rankine midway through the third term? See, I don’t believe that to be the case. He was off for 10 minutes prior with the injured symbol and radio suggesting he was getting work on his hammy’s. Which have had numerous problems in the past. Were they just tight? Has he knicked it? I’m keeping a flag here. Concerning.

Shiel (61) – One of the worst players I have ever seen.

Hobbs (36) – The worst player I have ever seen.

Reid (51) – If Zach Reid is in Essendon’s best 22 I don’t know what hope they have. Is there anyone to come in though? We might be safe.

Peating (41) – Too much midfield clock to be this sh*t. Embarrassing stuff, thank god we didn’t start him.

Cumming (28) – And Isaac Cumming was even worse? Lucky Adelaide are good because these recruits have been terrible.

JHF (62) – 62 POINTS?! AGAINST RICHMOND? Playing against witches hats, I genuinely think he belted more blokes than he had touches. What a massive f**king sook. 14 CBAs and 5 potential reports, there’s concerns all round here.

Holmes (77) – Hopefully that is as bad as he goes with the tag. I’ll take it considering this was a Windy I’m going to ruin your entire week tag. And he beat up on poor Homma. No good.

Garcia (27) – Should have gone last week, has to go this week.

Stewart (9) – Looks like a longer term one, brutal stuff and it feels like this happens every year. Once again, he’ll be cheap! I feel bad but also surely we have learnt our lesson with Beef Stew by now.

Ashcroft (90) – WASHEDcroft. A poor score last week was annoying but understandable, this was where he was meant to make up for it. This could have easily been a 70 before his 38 point Q4. It’s those crappy little half leads where he puts his arms out and jogs in his teammates’ space that has to piss you off as an owner. He looks slow. Uninsterested. ZERO THIRST. Go compare Ashcroft and Tom Powell. 1 tackle as well, I think it might have been the first of his career. He looks a shadow of his normsmith self. Weird stuff. Perhaps he’s just not a fantasy player.

Gawn (63) – I don’t know what was going on with Max Gawn and I’m not going to speculate….. I’m just going to say, something must have been. Because he was absolutely sh*thouse. I think that’s the worst I’ve ever seen Gawn play. Bizarre stuff. Once again my most expensive player is my worst pick. Had to go X.

Rivers (59) – Absolute draft killer. 0% CBAs after dominating there all pre-season. Perhaps Melbourne should, I don’t know, look at moving him into the midfield? 

Finn O (33) – Is he all there? In the head? He can pull off a good spin move though. Very good spin moves. I don’t know how that helps my fantasy team, but great spin moves.

Serong (83) – Tagged by Jordon and it’s been a shocking start. Picked up right where he left off. 

Brayshaw (77) – I can see why they tag Serong and don’t worry about Brayshaw. What a joke of a player. He had 8 tackles too?!?! Shocking pick. 

This Game Sh*ts Me

Bullsh*t umpiring. I’m over it. I don’t know what they were working on all off-season but it has been an embarrassing start. – Thursday and Friday night was absolutely shocking. But when it starts hurting your fantasy team. That’s when it really pisses me off. Numerous shocking holding the ball calls. Genuine 25 metre kicks not getting paid? Green maggots. Fix it up. 

The Other Bits and Pieces

1741. Down 14k spots for the week. Embarrassing stuff. I don’t know where I go from here, there’s spot fires everywhere. Perryman. Max Gawn. JHF. Sanders. Rankine. Bazlenka. Short. Will Day. SDK about to go full Sam Taylor? No Lindsay. The list is never ending. How do I pick just two trades from that lot?! If I lose any m ore rookies next Thursday I might as well pack it up for the year.

Perryman -> Bice

Day -> Dawson

Good luck next week legends! As always be sure to check out the podcast for my full meltdown from the weekend’s disgraceful effort. Cheers.

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