My season is heading the same way that the “Fight of the Century” did. It’s only a few rounds in, but the massive build up has not been matched by quality on the field. Only in this scenario it has been brought upon by self infliction and some bad luck, not an arrogant but brilliant asshole. Injuries are crippling, and the sad days of potato farming seem to be rearing its ugly head. Having said that I assume most passed the 2k mark, which is a starting point. It’s time for the weekend wash-up!

Legends

Oxley (136) – Many would’ve benched the Ox after last weeks horror show, however he will be an up an down player. Don’t expect these kind of monster scores often, but he had a wing to himself on Friday night. Regardless of what he did last week, 136 is a ridiculous score for a rookie! 25, 36, 90, 103, 136… Ride the rollercoaster. Most of all hold him!

Pendlebury (135) – I’d move the label of Mr Dream Team to Pendles, but he’s better than that. As consistent and reliable as any player in the competition, you just know he will average around 110. It just looks dumb in hindsight that many of us picked Parker over him to save a petty $25k. Owning him sure feels great, wish I could say I’m one of them…

Grundy (116) – He has been unbelievable this season! Witts was always the worry, but he seems to have brushed off that concern completely. Nobody expected Grundy to push an average of 100 and surely he will slow, but for now who cares! Ride the wave all the way to the byes, then re-assess.

Picken (143) – The most irrelevant 140 in the history of DT. Next please…

Hannebery (139) – He was a sleeper during pre-season, and it looks like Dan Hannebery is finding his feet again. The possibility of a tag is always scary, but he was underpriced and perhaps still is. Don’t mind it at all.

Mitchell (117) – Up yours Longmire!!! Mitchell is a DT star, but just isn’t getting the chance to shine. 30 disposals and 9 tackles is what he brings to the table, but for some reason that’s worth a spot in the seconds every week. Can you really bring him in with job security still an issue? I think this could be his opportunity, I’m looking at getting him if possible. He’s my boy though. Bias if I’ve ever seen it.

Beams (119) – I’m tentative to throw out a legend call here. He is still averaging 94 but those that held him will be feeling much better about themselves. He has a long way to go though, still not out of the bad books!

Martin (116) – I’ve had to tear out strands of hair one by one during every conversation about who will be the top 2 ruckmen. Goldy has been hugely impressive and looks hard to ignore at this stage, fair enough. However Goldstein and Jacobs were the two names I heard almost every time. I’m sorry, but did Stefan Martin not average 112 last season?! It wasn’t a fluke, and he is proving so in style. He is as good as Dean Cox ever was. FANTASY. From a fantasy perspective… Just get him in. Not a bad number 35 draft pick either!

Smith (119) – Devon Smith has scored 110, 112 and 119 in his last 3 games, yet is owned by just 1.41% of the competition. Get him on the watchlist at least! On the up for sure.

Mundy (133) – Mundy has slipped under our radars, and shame on us for letting it happen. He has scored below 100 just once (97) and now has a 133 to go with his 151. He’s too expensive at the moment, but if you got on board let everyone know!

Neale (125) – I’m going to say his 162 followed by a 36 just cancelled each other out, thus giving him immunity from the Dylan Shiel rule. Neale is like a box of chocolates, only you know what you’re going to get. A freakin nightmare! You just have to hold until the byes, back him in to at least keep his bad days to around 60. He can go huge. Don’t trade him in now…

Pearce (124) – This just annoys me… Of all the defensive numpties I selected, Pearce should have been worse than them all. Forget that, he has bashed out 86, 79 and now 124 to take his average past 80, his price skyrocketing up beyond $400k and my will to live down to levels rarely seen before. I just don’t know anymore. Good pick by the way!

Goddard (124) – I can’t bring myself to ever watch Essendon play if I can help it, so I may need your help with this one. Is Goddard still playing forward? If so, I have my concerns. If he’s collecting cheap marks off half back however, we could be in business. Was a great swap for Gray when he missed out (So far…)

Armitage (129) – Two words. Ball. Magnet. Over the past 4 weeks he has averaged 33 disposals, 4.5 marks and 7 tackles. Those are ridiculous numbers, and an average of 125 over that period backs it up. He is the real fantasy deal!

Ebert (139) – Yes I know, I know. Ebert is a hero. Remember, it’s not Round 7 yet. I still reserve my personal judgements, but fair play if you own him. You’re currently making me look stupid!

Losers

Higgins (50) – I have to put my hand up and accept the blame for this one. I have so many peanuts in defence it’s ridiculous, but I honestly thought Higgins was my most reliable. At least he could have been a salted peanut, but turns out he’s tasteless just like the rest of his backline mates. Now hes just become another problem to fix, like we needed more!

Hibberd (53) – Let’s face it, Hibbo didn’t make it into our teams for his huge average. He didn’t make it into our teams for his huge scores. It was always his consistency, and that seems to have gone down a similar path to Miley Cyrus’ career. I guess you have to hold because as bad as he has been lately, there’s not many doing better.

Seedsman (60) – This was always a possible scenario after last week, but the score doesn’t tell the whole story. The Seed-Man was on 60 midway through the third term, before suffering a “corked buttock”. As long as he’s right for next week you can put this one behind you, but that doesn’t mean there’s no lingering pain. This dented his money making potential severely, in the short term anyway…

Hunt (61) – In my defence, I did get on early enough to make some money before he inevitably crashed back to Earth. Funnily enough Lumumba has matched him. Actually that’s not funny at all. Let’s just move on before I’m overcome by rage, he tagged Motlop on Saturday and needs to go.

Johnson (67) – Put a line through Steve Johnson until he looks like half the player he used to be. Perhaps we won’t get to see it again, which is a shame really. Geelong are blooding their youngsters and SJ’s midfield time looks limited. He will still score 150+ at some stage this season, but it’s not worth considering him yet.

Talia (16) – He’s a key defender guys, hate to break it to you… Tough lessons make for greater long term benefits! I guess you might as well keep him and see if he makes that 43 BE, just make sure he’s on the pine.

Parker (81) – It’s just not good enough! After Round 1 those who picked him labelled themselves genius, and to be fair I felt dumb for not getting him. The classic “How could you not pick him” came out to play, and that always spelt trouble. He hasn’t gone past 86 since that k.o, and that’s not an excuse. Perhaps we jumped the gun a little, but I believe he will still average 100. Hold him. Those who don’t have him enjoy a cheap premium!

Rockliff (0) – ………………………………………………………………………………………… I just can’t even. If you owned him, firstly why?! Secondly I am so, so sorry. He just lost $95k and has a break even of approximately 1000 (227). Hope he’s ok after the hit. Who’s ready to go bargain shopping!

Kelly (75) – If you missed the news, this weekends loser has to be James Kelly. Lower back injury was the early disagnosis, so you can imagine my horror when I heard he had ruptured his testicle. WTF? That actually makes me feel ill even thinking about it, I couldn’t imagine a more painful injury. I would pass out.

Swallow (64) – I hate this game, but I suppose I’m the only person suffering this pain so there’s no point sooking here. Hate this game. Did I mention I hate this game? (Sometimes)

Naitinui (60) – To say his 14 point last half was underwhelming is an understatement. He seriously needs to step things up, but even if he does he should be a write off in all Fantasy formats. Why own a ruckman who can’t take a mark.

Salem (42) – Who’d have thought it, another fantasy relevant player has gone down. At least we can all share in this pain, things could be worse…

Sloane (67) – As I said, things could be worse. When I heard this on the radio I could do nothing but laugh. I don’t even feel bad, it’s just got to the point where it all blurs into one… How long until 2016 again?

Krakouer (35) – I told myself over and over that Krak wasn’t worth it… Of course I forked out almost 200k anyway, let’s hope this is a one off. Not starting material!

Lewis + Hodge (N/A) – Guys I know that boxing was the talk of the weekend but come on, what was that about! 2 dirty, low life acts from 2 of the fairest and most respected players in the AFL. More importantly, they will be having a couple of weeks holiday. Do we trade straight up? Wait for the suspensions before making a call.

The Mark Stevens

It’s ironic that an interviewer receives this weeks Mark Stevens, and that’s not all he deserves. Firstly, who doesn’t love Manny Pacquiao? Even in the heat during one of sports biggest moments, he was smiling the whole time. He took the fight to Floyd Mayweather, and he gained a huge amount of respect for that. Max Kellerman, I can’t remember such a poor interview. Ever. Manny has just lost the fight he has waited five years for, and he tries to get him to suck Floyd’s dick in front of millions… Really? It was humiliating, embarrassing and disgusting. “Did you feel his power in every punch?” I’m just upset Manny didn’t floor the bloke, would have been justified.

Here are this weeks nominations!

Oxley – Even if most of us had him on the ground, he would’ve decided plenty of match ups after last weeks 36. Regardless, he scored 136 as a rookie defender, huge!

Ebert – Ebert has done it again… Those who own him must be loving life at the moment, surely a lock for their votes!

Martin – I’m throwing in my pick of the round, and that’s the continually forgotten Stefan Martin. The Jacobs train crashed to a halt, while Stefan does what he does best. A great captaincy option for some!

Grundy – Those few who got on the boat before it left port are being rewarded with an absolute treat. He just keeps getting better and is well worthy of a stubby.

Pendlebury – Big ups to the Pirate this week, and many will have followed his advice and captained Pendles. They were well rewarded, you can’t go wrong with him!

This Game Sh*ts Me

Injuries suck, being a West Coast fan I have plenty of experience with it. However there’s nothing worse in Fantasy when one of your POD’s goes down, and you’re the only one on that sinking ship. Swallow’s concussion set me back big time, while to a lesser extent those with Sloane also hurt. Salem you can cop, but when a unique goes down it’s pretty much straight to the booze. Anyone have Rocky? I don’t even want to know about it… And that’s why this game sh*ts me.

The Other Bits and Pieces

*Stop the god damn match*

Another average score of 2036 holds me steady at my average ranking around 5000. It will be easy to push well into the top 1k during the bye rounds (or slip even further behind) but there’s way too many bugs in my team. There’s a select few trying to fight the cancers, but it’s a losing battle at the moment. Hopefully most of us made it to 2k this week, it’s onwards and upwards from here! Or, so we hope… Let me know how you fared in the comments! I’ll see you again next week for some more raging…

If you enjoy seeing me rage and want a punching bag when sh*t goes tits up, follow me on twitter@MattCraigDT. My views are honest, possibly helpful and occasionally entertaining! Hit me up with your weekly Golden Stubby nominations, and mainly what gave you the sh*ts! I value everyone’s opinion.