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The Sunday Knee-Jerk – Grand Finale

Well it’s a feeling of mixed emotions today. We are finished for the 2013 Dream Team season. No longer will we be able to watch our favourite premos and cheer every time they get a touch, nor can we yell at those players we love to hate. Our weekends will suddenly be filled with emptiness.

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Well it’s a feeling of mixed emotions today. We are finished for the 2013 Dream Team season. No longer will we be able to watch our favourite premos and cheer every time they get a touch, nor can we yell at those players we love to hate. Our weekends will suddenly be filled with emptiness. Then again, DT has basically turned to sh*t in the last month so it probably earns us a well deserved rest. 23 weeks of blood, sweat and tears came down to this weekend for many DTers… and things might not have gone so well. For the final time this year, it’s time to knee-jerk!

The Legends

So who were the players won Grand Finals of their own boot? Their certainly could have been a few! Even some much maligned jerks of times gone by stepped up to the plate. Yes I’m talking about you, Brent Stanton (149). And yes I traded him out. In fact looking at the list this week, there is an unheard amount of monster match winning scores. If I was to pick one who stuck his hand up for future seasons though, it would have to be Ellis (143). This man, in fact this kid is a beast! 25 kicks, 10 handballs, 16 marks if you don’t mind. Who needs to tackle? Let alone win this odd thing called hard ball. Unbelievable effort and a hero in many DT grand finals. Cornes (143) has been a shock all year and for those of you who held the faith, they were rewarded with riches beyond their wildest dreams. Never write off a DT legend, they don’t forget how to find the footy. Bartel (134) must be coming to the end of his DT days, but he wasn’t going to go out without a bang. He was a POD in many finals due to that suspension a few rounds ago, and boy did he deliver. We will never forget you, Jimmy. Mumford (134) was one of the few POD trades to come off, then again what ruckman didn’t smash it this weekend. O’Keefe (120) and Lewis (120) gave the middle finger to those who benched them. Pricks. Cox (133), Selwood (125), Dangerfield (126), Prestia (133) and Pendlebury (126) showed us glimpses of the past and the future in vintage displays. News is that Ablett (132) got word of some talk about transferring him out for the Fantasy Grand Finals. That was only ever going to end one way. Liberatore (148) made a late entry, we may have a new flat track bully king! My second last legend has to be DTTALK’s own (How many times can we legally say that?) Tom Rockliff (140). He is approaching super premo territory and even fought off tags on his way to an 8 round average of 123! In fact he was behind only Joel Selwood (avg 124) for points scored in this time period. Massive effort! However the highest score of the 2013 season was still to come this round. Montagna (189) didn’t have a Fremantle player come within 20m of him all day, let alone the much feared Crowley tag. If you were one to trade him out, then you have just experienced the ultimate FMDT moment. Congratulations.

The Sunday Chops

So why are we here? Obviously because for every player that wins you a GF, there is 3 that will lose it for you. Half of my never again list comes from Grand Final failures. And whilst it would be a big call, Beams (48) did a good job of getting himself there. But you know what I don’t even care what he does. Meant nothing to me. SIDEBOTTOM (61) ON THE OTHER HAND. God almighty give me strength. I needed 78 from this peanut and he couldn’t deliver. How can you get outscored by Danny Stanley first of all, but by 36 points? Deep breathes… Never again. And I don’t say that lightly. Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever… *1 hour later* ever… EVER AGAIN. Ok that’s me done, now for the 20 other sh*tstains.

Kennedy (34). Mate, I’m not sure if you realised but the AFL season goes for 23 rounds, not 20. Probably a fairly vital piece of info I would’ve thought. Some people went for a very viable POD in Masten (64). Unfortunately the Eagles left for their post-season trip a month ago. Not that they deserve one. Frankin (51) summarised his season perfectly with a another pitiful score. We thought he was the greatest DT forward in the land, surely he won’t be affected by this contract business like Cloke. Fatal error. His season was almost as bad as Freo’s performance on the weekend, you can throw Pavlich (50) and Barlow (56) under that bus also. Just on that game, Freo actually averaged 53. Yes 53. I’m not sure what you call that. Compare it to St Kilda’s 92 average per player and you just about understand the violation that occurred.

I’m going easy on Enright (48) because he’s been brilliant all season, but seriously… Never again. Thanks for your contributions Boris. Griffen (57) has had a blinder of a season, so personally coming up against him in my GF I reckon he deserved an off game. Well timed Griff, let’s hope McKenzie gets de-listed! Bring back the Melbourne point fests! Remember when I asked what ruckman didn’t smash it this weekend? Can you smell that? I think it’s the Leuenberger (52) owners lighting themselves on fire. You dived into the haystack and managed to get pricked by that one needle. It’s definitely time to bring on 2014!

The Clown

Even though his worst nightmare didn’t come true, it came bloody close. Ross Lyon decided to fly a team recently picked up from the creche to play St Kilda, and boy did it nearly come back to bite him in the ass. Ryan Lester connects with that snap like he would 9 times out of 10 and Freo have just forfeited a home final. In fact that’s what they did in essence. I do understand why teams rest players, but why not do it the round before? Western Australian teams aren’t exactly new to travelling. It’s not the best lead into a massive Qualifying Final against Geelong next week, I guess we’ll see who has egg on their face come next Saturday! Either way, they looked like clowns on Saturday regardless.

What we’ve learnt?

  • After securing my cash league title, my celebration went something like this.
  • Melbourne and the Bulldogs are on the up. The pre-season favourites are not. How things change…
  • Hindsight is a beautiful thing. Unfortunately it’s as useful as a parachute in a submarine.
  • Steele Sidebottom will be as welcome to my team next year as a fart in a phone box.
  • Being white is great. Almost as great as being a Selwood.
  • Trading for fixtures could very easily leave you madder than a baptist in a brothel.
  • Finally, and most importantly… Hook is unbeatable!

This game sh*ts me

Oooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh jesus. Hold me back. HOLD ME BACK! Basically I needed Sidebottom to outscore Stanley by 36 to win 2 Grand Finals! The rest is history. But that’s all it is, history. However the new 44 trade system does sh*t me when it comes to Grand Finals. You could be ranked 10,000 yet storm in to win a Grand Final. Yes it keeps people interested for longer, but does it reward those teams that were the best all season? I’m not so sure. And that’s why this game sh*ts me!

The year in summary

What a year it has been. I began with a squad representative of a potato field, and somehow managed to recover to a respectable (Ok, it’s pretty damn good) overall ranking of 136. Unfortunately it’s fair to say the chops (and the bullsh*t) outweighed the legends heavily. We can only go up in 2014! It’s been great writing for you all, and I can only hope that I eased your pain, if ever so slightly. Cheers!!!

If you enjoyed my raging and want a hittable punching bag when sh*t goes tits up, follow me on twitter @MattCraigDT. My views are honest, mostly helpful and occasionally entertaining! Also hit me up with any suggestions for who you thought were the Legends, Losers and Clowns, plus what you’ve learnt the past week. I value everyone’s opinion!



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    September 1, 2013 at 9:33 pm

    my trade ins this week were
    ellis: 143 and libba: 148 :D

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      Sammy J

      September 1, 2013 at 9:41 pm

      My two trades were Harry O (late withdrawal) and Watson (74). Fark….

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        D Day

        September 2, 2013 at 10:44 am

        Beams and Jobe for me :(

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    September 1, 2013 at 9:40 pm

    Awesome season mate, and (secretly, selfishly) hope you finish 10,000th next year so we see some real rage on a Sunday night.

    Great job all year faking it ;)

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      September 2, 2013 at 12:47 pm

      Cheers :P

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      September 2, 2013 at 1:59 pm

      +1 :P

  3. Jack


    September 1, 2013 at 10:08 pm

    And our boy hook wins the 50k

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    September 1, 2013 at 10:27 pm

    Cheers guys,

    Been a very enjoyable first year of DT for me, which I’m sure wouldn’t have been nearly as enjoyable if it wasn’t for all the help I have received from this website.

    Seriously, thanks heaps!

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      September 2, 2013 at 12:47 pm

      No worries!

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    September 1, 2013 at 10:49 pm

    Try losing to folks 20,000+ overall places behind you in the finals! Agreed with your thoughts regarding more trades and their effect on finals – something I’ve been harping on about for a few weeks now. Though, 2 Grand final wins our of 4, and overall rank inside the top 2000 is a decent enough season for me I guess.

    Thanks for writing your kneejerks all season!

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      September 2, 2013 at 12:47 pm

      Thanks mate

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      September 2, 2013 at 1:58 pm

      If they’re trying to make DT leagues realistic to the AFL itself, then your example would be like 2nd place losing a Grand Final to 15th… Needs to be addressed. I want 32 trades tops next season with ability to make 3 over the bye round again. That will seperate the men from the boys.

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    September 1, 2013 at 10:54 pm

    I won 3/4 grand finals but the one I wanted to win I lost by 32 – who do I start bagging …. Griffin, JJK, Barlow, McKenzie or the FACT I traded out Stanton (149) for Mitch Duncan (84) – my worse trade of the year !!!

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      September 1, 2013 at 11:08 pm

      I’m afraid my ROK to Beams trade trumps yours for worst of year…
      Especially if you add in losing a GF by 18.

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    September 1, 2013 at 11:13 pm

    Thanks for the Kneejerks Matt!
    Beams. Never really forgave him for that late out Rd1… Definitely can’t now.

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      September 2, 2013 at 12:50 pm

      We might have to! Cheers.

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    Big Feller

    September 1, 2013 at 11:15 pm

    Had the privilege of telling Hook he was officially number one (his phone ran out of juice)!
    He’s well and truly smashed right now!
    A great bloke and a very worthy winner.

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    September 1, 2013 at 11:21 pm

    Lost 1 game all year. Predicted to win by 87, lost by 14 thanks Ross Lyon and Dane Beams

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    September 2, 2013 at 6:54 am

    Three things champ. I wouldn’t usually do this but I gonna anyway as you seem so intent on “docker bashing”. First of all it “let alone” not “yet alone”. Secondly why rest players the week before when it was a home game, think you missed the point why Ross didn’t want the majority of the team travelling to MELBOURNE two weeks in a row. And by the way, the Preliminary finals are for three more rounds…sorry about the rant, bug your writing actually gives me the shits

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      September 2, 2013 at 10:34 am

      Hey champ, work on your grammar and maybe review your post before paying someone out. Cheers!

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      D Day

      September 2, 2013 at 10:48 am

      Oh noes! Poor old Freo have to take a 4 hour flight to Melbourne 2 weeks in a row. How will they ever survive?

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      September 2, 2013 at 12:40 pm

      Hahaha I admit the last half of this article was rushed as I had people over and didn’t exactly want to be sitting there writing, so I apologise of my grammar shat you off that much. Read how I say the Dockers aren’t exactly used to travelling… You would be speaking very differently if Brisbane win, I just disagree with Lyon’s decision, not a Freo bashing.

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        September 2, 2013 at 1:55 pm

        I didn’t even notice and love it that you get an article posted on Sunday night. Keep up the good work in 2014.

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    September 2, 2013 at 8:04 am

    The whole Fremantle football club is on my never again list after that disgusting display of tanking.

    I lost by 10 bloody points..
    If Beams scored 60 (not 48) I would’ve won..
    If my captain Stevie J didn’t get his lowest score for the year, I would’ve won..
    If Duffield and Barlow managed 110 between them (not 99) I would’ve won..
    If Tippet and Mayne weren’t late outs, I would’ve won..
    If JJK scored just 45 (not 34) as my emergency, I would’ve won..

    Libertore & Bob Murphy tried their guts out to get me over the line, but it just wasn’t enough to carry the likes of Beams, Duffield and JJK’s utterly PATHETIC scores.

    Don’t even get me started on, where I super subbed Mayne to Motlop- who scored a mighty 16…..

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      September 2, 2013 at 8:49 am


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        September 2, 2013 at 6:30 pm

        Yep if. Only needed one of those ‘ifs’ to win, you cant say that isn’t a perfect storm of bad luck.

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      September 2, 2013 at 1:54 pm

      Having SJ captain and JK EMG cover were both bad calls. Kennedy in particular – your bench cover nearly needs to be AS good as your starting players in last round. Always late withdrawals.

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        September 2, 2013 at 6:35 pm

        They weren’t bad calls Andrew. Stevie J was in smoking form with a lowest score of 92 for the whole season. Incredibly unlucky.
        Having JJK emergency wasn’t a bad call, if you read my post you’ll see I suffered two late withdrawals in the fwd line. In all reality Mayne should have played (or been named out during the week, not the last minute for a simple rest).
        Tons of people have JJK and having the lowest scoring fwd on the bench is actually a good call.

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    September 2, 2013 at 8:11 am

    Had Stanton on the pine and griffin and Barlow on field, lost by 30!

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      September 2, 2013 at 1:53 pm

      That’s cruel and unlucky. Don’t blame yourself I reckon 9/10 DT coaches would’ve made the same call.

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    September 2, 2013 at 8:12 am

    Finished inside top 300, lost toe someone outside top 10,000. Rage!

    • Brak


      September 2, 2013 at 10:41 am

      jeez you guys play hard. Ouch.

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    September 2, 2013 at 8:46 am

    Lost the final I wanted to win and this morning I won the final I didn’t really follow.

    I wish the DT website apperared different at the end.. It just seems so unfinished.. Maybe show the ladder and a trophy with the winners name on it or something.

    How did Hook go?

    Anyway, once again thanks for all the help guys, very selfless of all of you. Catch you all next year.

    • Brak


      September 2, 2013 at 10:44 am

      DT really needs a “home” page when you login which shows off trophies from winning leagues and highest rankings, weekly prizes etc. Anyone playing against Hook next year should see a trophy alongside his team name as the current champ.

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        D Day

        September 2, 2013 at 10:50 am

        I think that trophy idea is a great idea. They could maybe have a gold, silver and bronze trophy for the players that finished first, second and third over all.

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        September 2, 2013 at 1:39 pm

        This is a great idea – should add this comment to the other post on reviewing the 2013 DT year

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    September 2, 2013 at 11:41 am

    Wow what a season!!
    Cheers for the write-ups matey – very insightful year round…
    Finished 253rd overall…3rd year of DT and I, like you, started with a very ordinary squad but traded quite well..
    Agreed on the finals trading predicament.. The easy option – having 2 trades every week was a winner for sure but why not just 1 trade per week during finals??

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      September 2, 2013 at 12:59 pm

      No worries mate, I’m not sure how that would work… we’ll see!

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    September 2, 2013 at 12:20 pm

    Great write ups all year Matt. Congrats on a great year of DT too

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      September 2, 2013 at 12:59 pm

      Cheers Hook, maybe you’ll need this article a little more next season! :P Great effort mate

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    September 2, 2013 at 1:49 pm

    “However the new 44 trade system does sh*t me when it comes to Grand Finals. You could be ranked 10,000 yet storm in to win a Grand Final. Yes it keeps people interested for longer, but does it reward those teams that were the best all season? I’m not so sure.”

    I’m not so sure either. The players with the skill of knowing when to hold ’em, and knowing when to fold ’em, have lost that and it has been replaced by making trades for the sake of it. The last round trades for me highlighted it: O’Keefe (79 from last 5, last ton 4 games ago) for Masten. 58 point to the worst, would’ve been better off just making 1 trade!

    I’d like to see 30 trades, 3 on the bench, and partial rolling lockout up until the first Saturday game of each round.

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    September 2, 2013 at 6:50 pm

    Yep. Traded Stanton to Beams this week and lost my GF by 50pts. Also thanks to a Harry O doughnut

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