The Weekend Wash-Up – Round 5

My season is heading the same way that the “Fight of the Century” did. It’s only a few rounds in, but the massive build up has not been matched by quality on the field. Only in this scenario it has been brought upon by self infliction and some bad luck, not an arrogant but brilliant asshole. Injuries are crippling, and the sad days of potato farming seem to be rearing its ugly head. Having said that I assume most passed the 2k mark, which is a starting point. It’s time for the weekend wash-up!


Oxley (136) – Many would’ve benched the Ox after last weeks horror show, however he will be an up an down player. Don’t expect these kind of monster scores often, but he had a wing to himself on Friday night. Regardless of what he did last week, 136 is a ridiculous score for a rookie! 25, 36, 90, 103, 136… Ride the rollercoaster. Most of all hold him!

Pendlebury (135) – I’d move the label of Mr Dream Team to Pendles, but he’s better than that. As consistent and reliable as any player in the competition, you just know he will average around 110. It just looks dumb in hindsight that many of us picked Parker over him to save a petty $25k. Owning him sure feels great, wish I could say I’m one of them…

Grundy (116) – He has been unbelievable this season! Witts was always the worry, but he seems to have brushed off that concern completely. Nobody expected Grundy to push an average of 100 and surely he will slow, but for now who cares! Ride the wave all the way to the byes, then re-assess.

Picken (143) – The most irrelevant 140 in the history of DT. Next please…

Hannebery (139) – He was a sleeper during pre-season, and it looks like Dan Hannebery is finding his feet again. The possibility of a tag is always scary, but he was underpriced and perhaps still is. Don’t mind it at all.

Mitchell (117) – Up yours Longmire!!! Mitchell is a DT star, but just isn’t getting the chance to shine. 30 disposals and 9 tackles is what he brings to the table, but for some reason that’s worth a spot in the seconds every week. Can you really bring him in with job security still an issue? I think this could be his opportunity, I’m looking at getting him if possible. He’s my boy though. Bias if I’ve ever seen it.

Beams (119) – I’m tentative to throw out a legend call here. He is still averaging 94 but those that held him will be feeling much better about themselves. He has a long way to go though, still not out of the bad books!

Martin (116) – I’ve had to tear out strands of hair one by one during every conversation about who will be the top 2 ruckmen. Goldy has been hugely impressive and looks hard to ignore at this stage, fair enough. However Goldstein and Jacobs were the two names I heard almost every time. I’m sorry, but did Stefan Martin not average 112 last season?! It wasn’t a fluke, and he is proving so in style. He is as good as Dean Cox ever was. FANTASY. From a fantasy perspective… Just get him in. Not a bad number 35 draft pick either!

Smith (119) – Devon Smith has scored 110, 112 and 119 in his last 3 games, yet is owned by just 1.41% of the competition. Get him on the watchlist at least! On the up for sure.

Mundy (133) – Mundy has slipped under our radars, and shame on us for letting it happen. He has scored below 100 just once (97) and now has a 133 to go with his 151. He’s too expensive at the moment, but if you got on board let everyone know!

Neale (125) – I’m going to say his 162 followed by a 36 just cancelled each other out, thus giving him immunity from the Dylan Shiel rule. Neale is like a box of chocolates, only you know what you’re going to get. A freakin nightmare! You just have to hold until the byes, back him in to at least keep his bad days to around 60. He can go huge. Don’t trade him in now…

Pearce (124) – This just annoys me… Of all the defensive numpties I selected, Pearce should have been worse than them all. Forget that, he has bashed out 86, 79 and now 124 to take his average past 80, his price skyrocketing up beyond $400k and my will to live down to levels rarely seen before. I just don’t know anymore. Good pick by the way!

Goddard (124) – I can’t bring myself to ever watch Essendon play if I can help it, so I may need your help with this one. Is Goddard still playing forward? If so, I have my concerns. If he’s collecting cheap marks off half back however, we could be in business. Was a great swap for Gray when he missed out (So far…)

Armitage (129) – Two words. Ball. Magnet. Over the past 4 weeks he has averaged 33 disposals, 4.5 marks and 7 tackles. Those are ridiculous numbers, and an average of 125 over that period backs it up. He is the real fantasy deal!

Ebert (139) – Yes I know, I know. Ebert is a hero. Remember, it’s not Round 7 yet. I still reserve my personal judgements, but fair play if you own him. You’re currently making me look stupid!


Higgins (50) – I have to put my hand up and accept the blame for this one. I have so many peanuts in defence it’s ridiculous, but I honestly thought Higgins was my most reliable. At least he could have been a salted peanut, but turns out he’s tasteless just like the rest of his backline mates. Now hes just become another problem to fix, like we needed more!

Hibberd (53) – Let’s face it, Hibbo didn’t make it into our teams for his huge average. He didn’t make it into our teams for his huge scores. It was always his consistency, and that seems to have gone down a similar path to Miley Cyrus’ career. I guess you have to hold because as bad as he has been lately, there’s not many doing better.

Seedsman (60) – This was always a possible scenario after last week, but the score doesn’t tell the whole story. The Seed-Man was on 60 midway through the third term, before suffering a “corked buttock”. As long as he’s right for next week you can put this one behind you, but that doesn’t mean there’s no lingering pain. This dented his money making potential severely, in the short term anyway…

Hunt (61) – In my defence, I did get on early enough to make some money before he inevitably crashed back to Earth. Funnily enough Lumumba has matched him. Actually that’s not funny at all. Let’s just move on before I’m overcome by rage, he tagged Motlop on Saturday and needs to go.

Johnson (67) – Put a line through Steve Johnson until he looks like half the player he used to be. Perhaps we won’t get to see it again, which is a shame really. Geelong are blooding their youngsters and SJ’s midfield time looks limited. He will still score 150+ at some stage this season, but it’s not worth considering him yet.

Talia (16) – He’s a key defender guys, hate to break it to you… Tough lessons make for greater long term benefits! I guess you might as well keep him and see if he makes that 43 BE, just make sure he’s on the pine.

Parker (81) – It’s just not good enough! After Round 1 those who picked him labelled themselves genius, and to be fair I felt dumb for not getting him. The classic “How could you not pick him” came out to play, and that always spelt trouble. He hasn’t gone past 86 since that k.o, and that’s not an excuse. Perhaps we jumped the gun a little, but I believe he will still average 100. Hold him. Those who don’t have him enjoy a cheap premium!

Rockliff (0) – ………………………………………………………………………………………… I just can’t even. If you owned him, firstly why?! Secondly I am so, so sorry. He just lost $95k and has a break even of approximately 1000 (227). Hope he’s ok after the hit. Who’s ready to go bargain shopping!

Kelly (75) – If you missed the news, this weekends loser has to be James Kelly. Lower back injury was the early disagnosis, so you can imagine my horror when I heard he had ruptured his testicle. WTF? That actually makes me feel ill even thinking about it, I couldn’t imagine a more painful injury. I would pass out.

Swallow (64) – I hate this game, but I suppose I’m the only person suffering this pain so there’s no point sooking here. Hate this game. Did I mention I hate this game? (Sometimes)

Naitinui (60) – To say his 14 point last half was underwhelming is an understatement. He seriously needs to step things up, but even if he does he should be a write off in all Fantasy formats. Why own a ruckman who can’t take a mark.

Salem (42) – Who’d have thought it, another fantasy relevant player has gone down. At least we can all share in this pain, things could be worse…

Sloane (67) – As I said, things could be worse. When I heard this on the radio I could do nothing but laugh. I don’t even feel bad, it’s just got to the point where it all blurs into one… How long until 2016 again?

Krakouer (35) – I told myself over and over that Krak wasn’t worth it… Of course I forked out almost 200k anyway, let’s hope this is a one off. Not starting material!

Lewis + Hodge (N/A) – Guys I know that boxing was the talk of the weekend but come on, what was that about! 2 dirty, low life acts from 2 of the fairest and most respected players in the AFL. More importantly, they will be having a couple of weeks holiday. Do we trade straight up? Wait for the suspensions before making a call.

The Mark Stevens

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It’s ironic that an interviewer receives this weeks Mark Stevens, and that’s not all he deserves. Firstly, who doesn’t love Manny Pacquiao? Even in the heat during one of sports biggest moments, he was smiling the whole time. He took the fight to Floyd Mayweather, and he gained a huge amount of respect for that. Max Kellerman, I can’t remember such a poor interview. Ever. Manny has just lost the fight he has waited five years for, and he tries to get him to suck Floyd’s dick in front of millions… Really? It was humiliating, embarrassing and disgusting. “Did you feel his power in every punch?” I’m just upset Manny didn’t floor the bloke, would have been justified.


Here are this weeks nominations!

Oxley – Even if most of us had him on the ground, he would’ve decided plenty of match ups after last weeks 36. Regardless, he scored 136 as a rookie defender, huge!

Ebert – Ebert has done it again… Those who own him must be loving life at the moment, surely a lock for their votes!

Martin – I’m throwing in my pick of the round, and that’s the continually forgotten Stefan Martin. The Jacobs train crashed to a halt, while Stefan does what he does best. A great captaincy option for some!

Grundy – Those few who got on the boat before it left port are being rewarded with an absolute treat. He just keeps getting better and is well worthy of a stubby.

Pendlebury – Big ups to the Pirate this week, and many will have followed his advice and captained Pendles. They were well rewarded, you can’t go wrong with him!

This Game Sh*ts Me

Injuries suck, being a West Coast fan I have plenty of experience with it. However there’s nothing worse in Fantasy when one of your POD’s goes down, and you’re the only one on that sinking ship. Swallow’s concussion set me back big time, while to a lesser extent those with Sloane also hurt. Salem you can cop, but when a unique goes down it’s pretty much straight to the booze. Anyone have Rocky? I don’t even want to know about it… And that’s why this game sh*ts me.

The Other Bits and Pieces

*Stop the god damn match*

Another average score of 2036 holds me steady at my average ranking around 5000. It will be easy to push well into the top 1k during the bye rounds (or slip even further behind) but there’s way too many bugs in my team. There’s a select few trying to fight the cancers, but it’s a losing battle at the moment. Hopefully most of us made it to 2k this week, it’s onwards and upwards from here! Or, so we hope… Let me know how you fared in the comments! I’ll see you again next week for some more raging…

If you enjoy seeing me rage and want a punching bag when sh*t goes tits up, follow me on twitter@MattCraigDT. My views are honest, possibly helpful and occasionally entertaining! Hit me up with your weekly Golden Stubby nominations, and mainly what gave you the sh*ts! I value everyone’s opinion.


  • I don’t have a player that was nominated for the golden stubby….

  • Hi Matt. Another great article. My score this week: 2 of your legends and 8 of your losers. And Tom Mitchell (no, I don’t have him) – the supposed reason for the Swans leaving him out is that he is poor defencively. 9 tackles????? He’s going to be handy when he learns to defend.

  • No Harley Bennell (130) in the Legends? If it wasn’t for Ebert, Oxley & Bennell my backline would have made me look real stupid.

    • I almost put him in but don’t think he has shown enough yet this season. Another big score next week changes things!

  • So Salem is gone? How long?

  • got 4/5 of the Golden Stubby nominees.

    Where is mention of Barlow? Surely tonning it up when all his owners were sweating on his previous dud scores is legend-worthy?

    Surely a massive relief for those coaches.


    • Btw boys, top 3k ranking now and 12.3 million in the kitty. Choo choo! This knobhead is headed to the top!

    • 984th, $250K to spend this week. 142 points off leader. ;)

      • Marathon not a sprint

        What is your team VALUE Warnie, I didn’t imply I had 12.3m to spend.

        If your team is the average 11.5ish I have an extra 2 premos in value.

        • Not sure what that cup you are holding is. Beer perhaps cause you haven’t won anything to my recollection.

          • oh my lord this is the BIGGEST shit talker / troll on this site. I can’t believe you guys are actually still feeding him.

            Last year when he claimed to be at the top all year long but would NEVER say his team name. I don’t think he even has one.

            Milansta, you are so full of shit that it stinks.

        • why don’t you look up his team value?

          simply… you cna see him team by his rank (he’s actually given it to you)
          you can see the players that he had for last round
          and he’s told you that he has 250k as cash to spend

        • If you have an extra two premiums in value, then why aren’t you making bigger inroads then?

          Of course it is a marathon… just the extra points in the bank are very handy – even if it is early days!

          And the cup, it was a prop for the photoshoot we did for the AFL in our role as The Traders. That thing we get paid to do… you know, the amount that will be more than what you get for your AFL Fantasy efforts this year! ;)

          • Wow.. lets recap Warnie:

            I was top 6k last week
            now i’m in top 3k.

            I moved up approximately 2850 spots in one round on the back of my team value.

            That isn’t inroads?

            I see nooblets willing to give props to Kolodwhateverhisnameis for finally pooping out a 98, and I get shut down when I say Barlow should be mentioned in a similar vein.

            Don’t let the hate cloud your judgement padawans.

          • Flawed logic. Your team value didn’t move you up that many spots. I have the average value of $11.7M and went up 6,000 positions the week before…

            No hate, just many don’t suffer fools – or arrogant know-it-alls! ;) Have a nice day bathing in your wads of fantasy cash.

          • Flawed Logic:

            ‘I have 2 Premos worth in value’

            This would indicate that they aren’t, in fact, premo players yet. They are extra inflated rookies scoring well who will be culled into premos (who will then catapult me up the rankings) in the coming weeks.

            Warnie you need to calm down and think what you are saying through first. How am I supposed to get premo scores out of my rookies before I eat their fat livers?

          • Play nice guys ;)

          • I totally understand that. The key will be when and how you cull them. I’m very calm… I look forward to you winning the cash so you can win some more friends around here with your know-it-all attitude!

        • No you didn’t imply you had 12.3m to spend.

          You blatantly and explicitly said ‘12.3 million in the kitty.’

          What the hell do you think that means?

      • 142 points off leader is an error, Warnie. There was an issue with total points for a while last night, rectified now.

        • Ah, yes. That’s what I looked at last night. It’s actually 522. Doesn’t feel that great now!

    • wouldn’t exactly call Barlow worthy

      that 110 probably won’t be seen again this season, Mundy’s taken his role (from watching the games)

    • Wasn’t an oversight, I made the Dylan Shiel rule last week! After scores of 55 and 44 he has a long way to go to become a legend again! If he backs it up next week he can be redeemed

  • Your Monday morning debriefs always help my sanity Matt. Misery likes company and all that.
    I don’t even know where to begin with the list of spuds that need gone in my team. I’ve been watching my ranking slip over the last 3 weeks from 1000 down to 3000, now 4000.
    My def is so wrecked, it’s gonna be an uphill slog until i get some real premos like Hodge and Boyd (pending DPP) up in there. Hibbo, Lumumba, Newnes, hunt?? Thank god Oxley, McIntosh and Saad (bench :\) are guns! Of course I traded out c.pearce to hunt 2 weeks ago after that 86, thanking my lucky stars that I’d made money from him….

    Then after Leuy got dropped – enter Nicnat over Grundy, after i couldn’t find anything about when witts was coming back…

    Brought in Sloane over Fyfe 2 weeks ago due to blistering form and Fyfe’s “non DT relevance” (WTF btw)…

    Now perma captain Lewis is going to be rubbed out for a couple, i guess Heppell is my new captain… or Sloane vs GCS is he’s fit? ….


    Trades as of Monday 9am. Newton->Glenn, Nicat->Grundy. That will probably change about 20 times this week. Idea at the moment is saving money for DEF upgrades next week (it’s always “next week” with these defenders)

    • Cheers Will, I feel your pain. It seems every week is a forced trade, how can we ever fix up our defence! You’ll be needing to trade Lewis I suspect…

  • What about jack steven

    • what about him?

      low of 92, 3/5 tons, 5/5 90s, average of 110
      as consistent (so far) as the likes of Hanners and Bont
      ranked 9th for overall points

      doubt whether he’ll be top 10 by seasons end, but could be a viable stepping stone till the ‘premos’ sort themselves out

      • I backed him in at the start and hasn’t had many mentions but has been an absolute gun.

    • I’ve mentioned him before, but this was an oversight this week. Brilliant pick!!! He has been awesome

  • RDT – 2,172 – but comes at a cost of Hodge and Lewis. Current rank 1177

    I’ve got $424k in the bank plus another $431k in the form of a Malceski on the bench

    Malceskis gone this week (didnt trade him last week as he was benched) and tossing up between Picken and Pearce then thinking of upgrading Van Berlo or another similar priced player thats unlikely to fatten up a bit more….

    Thoughts anyone?

    • If there were any good options then we would all get on. The position upgrades are the only thing making me smile this week but RDT won’t have any so without Hodge there are few that are worth the money. I reckon go for someone left field and see if it goes well. Or just keep the same backs and improve everywhere else

      • You know if RDT will have those DPP upgrades as well?

        • unfortunately not

          by all means trade Malceski, but he’ll be back next week (for rd7) and I’m struggling to think of a decent def option (90s from his return give an 85 season average – which I think is about right)

          with RDT, you’ve really got to be looking at downgrades (Cutler/McIness this week, but not that appealing to me) or go all out and get a premo in

  • hey mate, good article.

    ranked 28 overall atm

    is it worth ditching newnes this week? (have luxury trades)
    thinking him to beams (boyd dpp)

    • duh

    • I don’t think I would get beams though. Hasn’t done enough to warrant picking up.

    • Cheers Andos. If you can’t afford anyone better then Beams it is, good trade! (Amazing rank!)

    • Asking for advice when you’re ranked so high is not advisable. Firstly we obviously make worse decisions and secondly we are going to sabotage you if given half a chance.

      Notwithstanding that, I reckon at that rank getting on proven DT magnets a week before everyone else is a winning (or losing) plan. Barlow might still have a high BE but if he scores 120 this week those points will be worth the extra 12k or so you pay. Beams is back I reckon so go for it.

      Trust me?

    • so you’re ranked 28 and have luxury trades, does this mean you don’t have either Hodge or Lewis?

      amazing rank if you don’t have these 2 hawks

  • I hate my mids at the moment. Lewis, Sloane, Barlow and JPK are my premos.

  • To anyone stressed about their back line, I wouldn’t worry too much…when looking for current options for Hodge, the most expensive option is 450,000 for me. One defender averaging 90 available but most options only averaging 80.

    I say don’t stress, because as annoying as Lumumba and the likes are, the options to replace are probably only going to get you 5-10 more. Because of this I’ll let my defence continue to spud it up and improve my side in the mids. If I’m upgrading mids I can improve my side a lot better than replacing someone averaging 70 with someone averaging 80 (Boyd will be the exception when named as defender) When better options appear, then I’ll consider trading out defenders

  • Losers – definitely missed Jacobs. I mean the ruck who is “good for 100” every week scoring 62.

    Could have been Goldi or Smartin

  • If someone knows “milansta”, please give him a good uppercut!!! No-one likes a smart arse!!

  • The only 2 legends I have were the 2 players who scored 36 for me last week. It’s great to see them turnaround after letting me down.

  • Lewis can accept 2 weeks. Not bad at all!!

  • Great reading as always Matt.
    Mitchell is such a waste!! I had him in my squad from February to the start of round 1 and could not believe that he was not in the Swans side. Apparently they say he doesn’t run both ways. when you get the bloody pill 40 times in a game you don’t need to do too much running. Unlike Jetta, who apparently runs OK but has no idea what a “hard ball get” is. Talk about refusing to put your body on the line!!!
    It’s fair to say the he is John Longmire’s love child and will continue to get a game every week (as does Reid) whereas Mitchell will be dropped as soon as he has an average game.
    No doubt Mitchell will be averaging 35 disposals every week next year – but it will be with some other team. Who can blame him?

    • Cheers mate. I agree, however I guess his defensive tracking that’s under question, not how hard to goes at the footy!

  • Hodge-Thurlow-McIntosh-Smith-Henderson-Vlastuin (Saad-Dick)

    Selwood-Dusty Martin-Gibbs-vandenberg-Rich-Fyfe-Bont-van berlo (Newton-adamson)

    Goldy-Belly (spuds)

    Swan-Franklin-krak-Goddard-Salem-Tarrant (Clark-willsmore)

    $312K in the bank.

    Atm thinking
    Hodge–> Boyd (after Wednesday)
    Newton–> Pendles/Heppell

    I want to get Gibbs out for one of the other above options, but probably more important to upgrade a ripe cash cow. Or no? Or something totally different?

    • Yeah I’d rather upgrade than sideways trade persoally. If Gibbs hits form then potentially you have two extra firing premiums. Players don’t lose talent overnight, Gibbs will improve enentually

    • your trades look good, prefer pendles over hepp

  • Hi all. I’ve got an Elite Draft League starting in Round 6. Live draft this Friday 8th at 2pm. Please join if you’re keen to follow through all season – no ghost ships please! Code = UCJ9D4WL

    • Why wold you hold a draft this late in the season?

      Are you holding one in round 21 too?

      Makes no sense.

      • Having a draft now is quite a fun experience! I did a mid-season one last year to add some fun to the second half of the year.

      • Hey mate. We’re holding an 8-team league draft this week, so we can start head-to-heads in Round 6. This leaves time for each team to play each other twice, then 4 weeks at the end of the season for a finals series. It fits perfectly! Great to have a bit more data to go on too. Join if you’re keen!

    • 2pm EST?

  • Def shawe, newnes, bruce, pearce, mcintosh, oxley ( saad, goodes)
    Mid Lewis, Heppell, mundy, Ellis, Rischit, Yolman, Cripps, Vdberg (dumont, Newton)
    Rucks Maric, Chambers (cox, holmes)
    Fwd Swan, Gray, Martin, Motlop, Bont, mccarthy (Clark, Lambert)

    not sure what to do this week.

    Will be keeping Lewis on bench for 2 weeks.

    Wanting to trade Maric but not sure if its a good idea.. for Grundy

    other trades wanting Eventually to get Ellis out for pendles,
    Getting rid of Newnes, Goodes, Lambert, Newton

    with 132k in bank

    Cheers guys

    • Well since you have nothing else to do I don’t see the point in holding lewis. Any premo you get in will give you more cash to add to that 131 grand then you can make an upgrade with your second trade. You improve your side and don’t have a 690 grand premo on your bench scoring 0

      • i get that but wouldnt it be a waste just to trade him out for 2 weeks using 2 trades to get him out then back in rather than using the 2 trades elsewhere?

  • is oxley a good downgrade to get?

    • that ship has sailed mate… was worth it under 200k, but now at 300 i’d look for cash cows elsewhere (hes not a keeper, just a gun cash cow)