Dream Team 2013 is a long way away…

Dreamteam 2013 is a long way away.  In fact, there is as long to go before the first pre-season shits and giggles game that Taylor Swift could find true love before hand.

For those of us that got slapped across the face with our mate’s dicks in 2012, our Dreamteam preseason needs to start now.  Last year saw many different examples of ways to screw up a Dreamteam season.

There was the ‘Great Ruck debacle of 2012’ which saw some esteemed coaches burn 6 trades on their ruck division alone.  There was the ‘I have a dream, a dream of perfection for the mutli bye week teams’ which went as well as Miley Cyrus’s short hair cut.

Then there was the simple but ultra effective way of cocking things up, the ‘I got ahead of myself and thought I knew everything’ team of which I was the CEO and President.

In hindsight, 2012 was a simple year in Dreamteam.  Select the best team, navigate through the MBR’s, select the right rookies, avoid injuries and suspensions and make the right trades.  Wow, I am amazed that I didn’t win the FJ Cruiser……

As an underperforming Dreamteam coach in 2012, more underperforming that Ricky Ponting might I add, I am looking at a group of players who could make or break many coaches’ careers in 2013.  Those players who have broken hearts, burnt bridges, been sent to the never again bench or simply would take a MASSIVE set of Kahunas to select in your team..

I can hear it now.  “You are a stupid Twilight Saga loving, man child loser if you think I would pick player X in my team.  They are not worth the risk!”  Well my pre-pubescent, know it all troll.  These are my thoughts and can be mocked like I am sure your mates mock your undersized penis.

We are all speculating how Virtual Sports will set up Dreamteam 2013 however with the expansion teams a thing of the past the standard ‘Guns and Rookies’ approach might be as old as Brian Taylor’s  “woooweeee”.

These players will let you down.  They will score 40’s.  They might get dropped.  Hell, they might make you the laughing stock of your league.

They might also be the difference between sleeping with Mila Kunis or sleeping with Rosanne Barr.  Sometimes you have to ‘risk it for the biscuit’ as the boys in Fired Up brilliantly stated.

Tomorrow I will release my list of 10 players who could make or break your 2013 AFL Dreamteam season.

If you would like to ‘Troll’ my list of players, I will tweet you a link tomorrow night.  If you would like to avoid these players at all costs, I will also tweet you a link so you can quickly take them off your 2013 ‘Watch List’.

Until then,  stop reading about Dreamteam and go and enjoy the cricket/summer/beers/basketball/family/partner you obsessed clown.  There should only be a few losers like myself interested in Dreamteam in November….

P.S Player Number One I look at is Jordan Russell

P.S.S This is what you can expect……


  • Hahahahaha great stuff StueyDen!!

  • Nice article champ. Look forward to much more of this in the future!

    So far away, but still so close for all coaches who narrowly missed out in 2012 and need to restore the balance.

    Being one of those coaches who burned, nay, threw away 6 trades on their rucks, I am so tempted to risk it all again with McIntosh and Leuie. Someone stop me!

    Does anyone know of any half decent NFL style draft systems on the interweb?

  • Enough foreplay!!! Lets have it!!! Haha

  • @Hirsh I have a couple of rucks for you to ponder over mate. Value or crazy? That is the question!

    • I love pondering so hit me up! My ruckline seems to change more often than Imran Tahirs length. I think rucks should all have a button you can click next to them which gives you the phone number of their sports doctor, or a CAT scan of their knees at least.

      As a DT fan I’d love to see NicNat go down for the season to make Cox a lock, but as an ultra biased eagles supporter I don’t have the guts to go out and make this happen.

      Oh yeah!

      • You are an Eagles supporter yet you would like to see Nic Nat go down for the season?
        Simply Baffling…

        • DT has overidden all team loyalty.How it has changed our way of following the game.

        • Of course not you crazy Mongol! It was just tongue in cheek implying what Tex said.

          Although if Lycett starts at rock bottom price I could be tempted…

  • mwhhaahahahah!!! The battle of articles begins…..

  • @Hircsh part two will be up on the site tomorrow where I name and shame Ten Dreamteam players that you must know about!

    • I’m pumped for this Stu. If it reads as good as this I will even forgive you for misspelling my name… twice.

  • Maybe not that far away – if you paid the bugs-bunny for the assistant coach, I reckon a little over 2 weeks, then we’re into it!