Deck of Dream Team 2012: Heath Shaw

Name: Heath Shaw
Club: Collingwood
Position: Back
Assistant Coach 2012 Price: $454,000
Bye Round: 12
2011 Average: 91.7
2011 Games Played: 14
Predicted Average: 92

Why should I pick him? Last year, decent ‘backs’ were extremely hard to find. Not one single backmen last year averaged over 100 and with Heath pumping out an average of 91.7, he was ranked as the 5th best for the season (excluding Gibbs who is now purely a Mid). Heater can rack up solid numbers too… he scored 100+ a nice 43% of the time and averaged 103 during the finals series. Over the last 6 years, Shaw has averaged 80+ every single time and is a proven DT scorer.

Why shouldn’t I pick him? … Because he’s “stupid” and that is his own description of himself after he does these “stupid” things. Heath Shaw has been a regular in my Dream Team of the past 4 years… and he constantly gives me a “Heath Shaw Headache”. Shaw hasn’t played a full season of footy in 4 years mainly because he’s … moronically stupid.

In August 2008, Heath was cruising in the car with team mate Alan Didak sloshed off their faces. Then they crashed, lied about it and were suspended for the rest of the year.

Then last year Heath played just 14 games before placing a $10 bet on his captain Nick Maxwell. Heath then copped an 8 week ban for being ‘stupid’ after many trigger happy DT coaches traded him in before it was announced late on Friday afternoon. This my friends is the reason this year we have reversible trades – or the Heath Shaw Rule as it is now referred too.

Deck of DT Rating. KING – I doubt very much that Heath can improve his average a great deal from the 91.7 last year (his best ever). But, he can maintain it. Heath Shaw will easily be in the best 7 backmen in 2012 and therefore you need him in your team at some point. Start with him or pick him up at a later date… you will certainly need him. Personally, providing he doesn’t do anything stupid over the pre-season… he will be a starting member of team Calvinator.

TWITTER….  @CalvinDT for advice on dreamteam and to chat about life in general.


  • FIRST!!,

  • SECOND!!

  • THIRD!!

  • 1st 2nd & 3rd. This is some unprecedented S@&t I really am the man!!

  • Nice stuff, Calvin.
    Lmfao @ “mainly because he’s… moronically stupid.”
    I keep doing the Shaw-Enright shuffle.
    If Broughton looks like returning to his previous DT friendly role over the NAB cup/challenge,
    he”ll pip em both.

  • He will come into my side later in the year. 3rd time lucky with him in this case as first time I got him in (2 seasons ago) he dropped off in scoring and last year….well, I was a victim of the ‘stupid’ friday afternoon incident after trading him in on friday morning no less! :(

    As it stands, he will be unlikely to front up for the Hellborn Demons

  • I don’t have him at this stage, late season upgrade I think.

  • Funny isn’t it how we talk about players throughout they’re playing careers who have injuries, be they soft tissue or ACL’s etc, but when we have a player who is in a whole other category IE “unique” in the fact that he is “stupid” (which I find amusing really), you almost say to yourself ” Well I wonder what he’s going to do this year?” I believe that he learns from his mistakes but problem is he keeps finding new ones to give us heartache / headaches.
    I had him myself last year and he dun me too, so this year I’ll pass until later in the year and when all his mad-mondays have finished.

  • I don’t know Calvin. He is on “The List” along with Missy and Grimey. We keep on looking at averages instead of overall points so there are far better choices. No point picking somebody with 100 point average if he only plays 16 games a year.

    P.S. Can we ban “The Man” for life – along with his children and childrens’ children.

  • Nice write up Vin. Interesting this Deck of DT has actually turned me more off Heater :/

  • ive got him atm.. but only because i cant find many other backs i think can score big points….

  • Sorry Calv but I can’t find room for idiots in team McRath. Need mine at least to be capable of playing 20+ games without getting banned or arrested

  • Im tossing up between Shaw and Enright, I think after this I am now leaning torwards Shaw!

  • no shaw at this stage, at the moment i am planning on massively skimping my backs;

    Goddard, Lids, Grimes, Waters, Lake

    this is mainly becasue i don’t want “stupid” players, especially from the pies.. even when Shaw does play he is soo incredibly inconsistant, either gets a massive score or something like 50 points.

    Thanks for the great write up Vin :)

  • Goddard, Lids, Suckling, Heppel and Grimes, NO SHAW NO WAY!!!

  • Pass.

  • He’s a lock for my team but how much is he worth????

  • You know I was thinking what are the chances that Shaw after all his brainfades could monumentally balls up again in 2012?? and 2 words spring to mind… BRENDAN FEVOLA. An idiot on big money playing in a premiership team heading towards another GF does NOT risk it all on a $10 bet (which doesn’t even come thru). Dumb is dumb, you don’t instantly grow millions of new braincells when you ballsup. That and given that he’s unlikely to even improve on his 2011 average represents absolutely no value at this time of the year. Big no for me

  • Heath has made some seriously bad choices but I think his past that. I think people would be fast to point out Fevola to him and he will quick to realise that just one more mistake could be it for him. His a LOCK for the Enfield Bombers.

  • Heath is the only player on my never ever again list, and I didn’t even have him when when he got suspended.

    I don’t mind erratic scorers, but 60 one week, 130 the next and then back to 60 is a bit too much for me.

  • Sold ….he will want to prove his worth to the team and new coach Bucks….and without Neon down the back it can only mean his role will be more important, as a result his average will rise…i predict a big season….

  • You forgot to add his inconsistency… I can’t handle 130 one week then 65 the next. That’s what is keeping him out of my team for round 1

    • Yeah, his inconsistency is a major downer, but it does mean you’ll almost certainly be able to pick him up cheaper later on.

  • Ha ha he’s on a few “Never again lists”… he does cause headaches!

  • No way this complete stooge will b earning a guernsey in high voldtage over corey enright.

    Enright for the deck of DT boys????

  • Not for me, but thanks Heath for bringing in the reverse trades rule WOO!, gonna be handy

    • Tbetta mentioned a back from wce,gws or Freo tomoz ooooh have a feeling Waters or Broughton might make an appearance :)

  • Already tossing up whether i can put Enright Broughton and Heppell all in together so no room for Shaw.

    Good write-up tho! After finishing it i thought maybe a cuold squeeze one of the above out for him but after reading the comments i’ve concluded he’s a no go zone coz i dont like headaches!

    ((i do think the loss of L.Davis might help his average tho….??)

    • actually i think Marty Clarke will take Leon’s rol;l pretty well so maybe Heath will just continue as in the past….

      Clarke on my bench just means i now DO have to decide to choose between Enright Broughton and Heppell – a few dollars here or there ion the budget will probably make that decsion for me.

      • Mate, Clarke can’t take Leon’s spot. Leon could kick like he had a f%$#ing lazer in his boot (except in big games the prick!) Clarke is a hopeless hack who runs well and can cut off a few kicks but will turn it over.

        I was hoping that Dids would take Leon’s role.

  • I am starting to think that he should make his way in my team. By the comments above it looks like I will be the only one with this unique

  • Clavin you tassie beast you said it, ‘You need him in your team at some point.’

    Heater will be in my team from the start, only because Gibbs is gone.

    I don’t want to blow my own trumpet but I know how Heath can be cured of his foolish ways.

    All he needs is for the club to give him a red phone with only one button ‘Call.’ Then get Buckley to tell him, ‘Anytime you get a good idea, use the red phone to check if it’s stupid or not.’

    And then there is a recorded message in the phone, ‘Heath, that is a shit idea. Go to bed, wank off, and get thirty possies on the weekend. If you don’t do this Darren Milane will come out of hell and make your cock shrink. No grab a sherin and go to bed. Good boy.’