Chop’s Chopping Block: Round 8

I have to put my hand clearly and as high in the air as I can and admit that I saw very little football on the weekend. As a lot of weekend was spent in a drunken haze or a hungover state that I wouldn’t even wish upon Ben Warren. I can read numbers though, so I have gone through these numbers as well as quizzing my esteemed colleagues and come up with a list if under performers for round 8.

Heath Shaw– All on board the Heath Shaw roller coaster the ride that promises to be a thrill but without doubt could bring that hot dog from the bile in your stomach only to leave you standing their with a terrible taste in your mouth and a burning sensation in the back of your throat. This man who runs around like it is illegal to take strides over a metre in length could only manage to score 50 points against the Dockers on Friday night. 50 from a player who is considered a premium back is simply not good enough. A repeat of this pitiful performance will almost certainly result in this guy dropping further in price.

Jack Trengove – There comes a time in everyone’s year when they need to cut players from their list that have performed. Jack has done his job and after scoring 50 on the weekend his break-even is now in the 70’s. Does this mean that he has reached his peak? Maybe not, but the money to be made from Jack Sprat could be slow and annoying. Is it time to diwn-grade this guy to another rookie and make a “mid-ranger” into a gun. I’m sorry Jack but it is time to go, thankyou for the money that you have made us, but the tribe has spoken.

Kurt Can’t Quite Tippet-Kurt Tippet would have to be the biggest let down since I found out that Milli Vanilli didn’t really sing “Blame it on the Rain”. Week in and week out he has let down his coaches and this week he racked up a huge 6 kicks and 9 hit-outs. I know I have chopped this guy before and I will probably chop him again before the year is out. But if you keep on being rubbish Kurt, we will keep kicking you to the curb.

Mark McVeigh– Mark, Mark, Mark…. what were you thinking? I did not watch this game at all but I am pretty sure that he only scored 22 points, he had the job on Milne and playing on that guy would be without an extremely off putting experience. Unless you are injured or abducted by some African Pirates at half time then you should definitely score more than 22. Calvin is a very average basketballer and can still score 22 points in a 40 minute game. Mark McVeigh, you can use any excuses that you like but I’m sorry…. Not good enough!!!!!

How many donuts will you have in Round 11 when lockout strikes?

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