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The Knee-Jerk: Round 16

My poor mate the mailman is desperately trying to conserve trades at the moment. Each Monday he says to me “I’m not trading this week”. I try and believe him and I actually think he believes it too, but then Friday rolls along and he comes out with the solid gold classic “Just one more and then I’m stopping”.

My poor mate the mailman is desperately trying to conserve trades at the moment. Each Monday he says to me “I’m not trading this week”. I try and believe him and I actually think he believes it too, but then Friday rolls along and he comes out with the solid gold classic “Just one more and then I’m stopping”. How many times have I heard myself say that one…”just one more then I’m stopping…save the rest for LTI’s”.  Before DT I used to use the ‘just one more, and then I’m stopping’ when I was eating BBQ shapes or lolly bananas and I didn’t want to demolish the entire bag. Sadly I’ve nearly demolished my whole bag of trades; I now wish I had the 20% extra free bag. Anyway, what’s been happening so far this round?


Gary Ablett (23)

He is the son of god, and for most he was their Jesus- i.e. nailed on for captain, but poor old Gazza came to grief this week with a knock to the knee. For people like me that don’t own him this is a blessing from above, for those that do…..god works in mysterious ways.

Mark LeCras (57)

You know on the cold winter day when you take your jeans out of the drier and put them on; it feels the best!, it is the warmest feeling ever. Then after a few minutes they cool down and you feel even colder than you did before, they may even still be wet. This is how it feels to have brought the Frenchman recently. He burst into my team with some nice scores making me feel all warm and fuzzy, but this week he was back deep forward leaving me cold and irritable.


Lance Franklin (109) Steve Johnson (94)

My mate at school used to offer you some of his twisties but when you would put your hand in there he would hold the bag so tight you would only be able to get one out. This kind of faux giving works well on the footy field too. I love it when Buddy and SJ get the ball inside 70m, they pretend to look for a pass when you know the whole time they are going for goal. I doubt many people don’t have this pair but if not, jump on board.

Matt Priddis (118)

I’ve always had a soft spot for Priddis ever since I had him in his breakout year. The guys tries his guts out, he tries harder than Aker at a charity game. He could be a handy differential come finals time.

Shane Mumford (108)

The big sausage eater from Bunyip could be another cure to peoples Sandi inflicted ruck woes, came back and looked like he hasn’t missed a beat, the bye is the only concern there.

Other bits and pieces

Vote catcher.

Everyone knows playing DT ruins your football watching, but there is another unhealthy trend that DT is responsible for. These days players are judged whether they played well or not solely on how many DT points they scored. Every Monday it’s the same thing, people saying things like; “Stanton played well on the weekend, He scored 130!” Well actually he played a shit game, turned it over twenty times but let’s not let facts get in the way of a good statement.  “How shit was Picken on the weekend! He only got 50 points”…actually he tagged Hodge out of the game and probably close to BOG. Why not just change everything and give the Brownlow to the player with the most DT points at years end? …everybody knows it’s a midfielder’s medal anyway. Or maybe as Roy said in a live show…stuff the enterprise agreement, let’s just pay the players their DT value at years end. That will make them play well to keep the break even down. Works well for all of us.

The fork.

DT is a constant series of forks in the road, like sliding doors every trade will totally change the direction and score of your team. You have to be on your toes because some opportunities only flash by for a second then they are gone. I was walking down DT Street about three weeks ago; it was a windy day. Between gusts I looked down to see two things on the ground, one was a $100 note named Boyd and one was a lotto ticket named Ablett. I had to think quick before they blew away so I snatched at the Boyd, thinking at least I knew what it was….the Ablett ticket blew away in the wind never again to be reached. I now know that ticket won the jackpot…making me feel even shitter.  Each week I see what I could have had if I made the right choice. Even now as I’m typing I’m shaking my head. (edit – well well well, the injury now changes things, they do say winning the lotto is a poison chalice)

The bolter.

The worst thing you can see when you get home from work is a copy of Cosmo sitting on the table. Because every week they have the ‘how to turn your man into a real lover’ bit, which translated means ‘how to make your man give you hours of tedious foreplay before he gets any’. I don’t know about you but I only ever see footy players warm up for a few minutes before they play the game, they would be too tired if they warmed up for ages first…(there’s always that poor sod who pulls a hammy during warm up, he never lives that one down). Anyway in a DT sense we get the little bit of foreplay, it’s called the preseason cup. But they are a tease, and if you aren’t careful you will catch something you can’t get rid of. I talk of your pre-season bolter who turns to shit once in your team proper. It took me a while but I finally realised that shit players can look good pre-season because nobody is tagging anybody. I’m looking at you Chris Yarran, Rhys Palmer and Andres Everitt, Yeh some of you have been OK, but from pre-season form you all looked 100+ keepers. Be wary of the preseason bolter. (And the Cosmo mag)

OK, enough of my drivel, what’s happening in your DT worlds? What will you do with the little master?



  1. Avatar


    July 9, 2011 at 11:46 pm

    If Ablett is out, I could take a unique punt in Priddis as he has finished his byes and have a good fixture ahead of him. What do you think of this “unique” option?

    • Avatar


      July 10, 2011 at 9:10 am

      seen montagnas fixtures? he could be a sneaky chance if he can step it up a bit

      • Avatar


        July 10, 2011 at 9:24 am

        Looking at Monty as a unique. Could pay off.

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          July 10, 2011 at 2:40 pm

          If GAJ is out I’ll get both… Montagna and Priddis for GAJ and Iles. Adelaide has an easy-ish run home too, making Scott Thompson worth a look.

        • Avatar

          Albert Lloyd

          July 10, 2011 at 2:45 pm

          Thomas Thomas Thomas Thomas.


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    July 9, 2011 at 11:48 pm

    Was at the game, saw the bombers run riot in the last quarter and a half. Unlucky for Ablett and all i have to say is SLIGHTHAWK you’re on fire mate.

    • Avatar


      July 10, 2011 at 9:10 am

      how could the dons look so crap in the third quarter then so good in the last!

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    July 9, 2011 at 11:51 pm

    Lol aker reference.
    Stanton played okay. Still got booed by essendon fans though

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    July 9, 2011 at 11:55 pm

    Went swan as I’m ranked 6k something so needed a bit of luck to get me back up, looks like I got it.. Not as lucky as those like Roy who don’t have him.. And I had to play lynch with pav and Sylvia out thanks mate really stepped up lol

    • Avatar


      July 10, 2011 at 11:31 am

      I went Swanny too, stuff the Irish Pirate!

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    July 10, 2011 at 12:11 am

    how long will ablett be out 4

    • HereIam86


      July 10, 2011 at 1:17 am

      He will have scans done on his knee on Monday.

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    July 10, 2011 at 12:32 am

    * *(there’s always that poor sod who pulls a hammy during warm up, he never lives that one down)* *

    Bwahahahaha. Thats GOLD!!!

    Nice article.

    Ohh man how i was sooooooo jealous of losing all my 2117 team score match-ups because i didnt have Ablett, and now i’m laughing.

    Not really, i love Gadge – he is insiprational and i wish him all the best and hope he is back next week….but….. i did immediately think of how many positions i was gonna jump overall when i heard the news :D

    • Avatar


      July 10, 2011 at 9:13 am

      dt has that bad makes you wish injuries on players…. i hate it when i do it, i did have the ablett voodoo doll out last night but i didnt use it..honest!

  7. Avatar


    July 10, 2011 at 1:47 am

    Sideways traded Ablett in this week for Bartel, thinking it to would be the difference for me come finals time. That difference is that I’ll be the laughing stock amongst my mates… Miss Piggy is going to have a fricken field day with this. *facepalm*

    • Avatar


      July 10, 2011 at 9:14 am

      poor old gonzo….always the laughing stock

    • Avatar


      July 10, 2011 at 9:21 am

      Parko once said on afl teams that he reckons it takes 4 weeks to fully recover from a bad concussion…. That is the only thing that stopped me from making the same sideways Gazza trade…

    • Avatar

      Barry Damage

      July 10, 2011 at 4:15 pm

      Did the same bloody trade on Friday night. Thinking was that Ablett would rise 15-20k with Jimbob falling by the same. Just to rub salt into the wound swapped the C off Swanny and onto GAJ. I was already nervous with the trade as I reckon there is a chance GAJ could be rested a bit toward the end of the season…

      • Avatar


        July 10, 2011 at 4:22 pm

        Mate… Exactly the same thing for me, lol.. Bartel-Ablett on Friday night and C of Swan onto GAJ :(

  8. Avatar


    July 10, 2011 at 1:54 am

    On the bright side, Ablett will be cheap as chips after a couple of rounds. Could be a good purchase just before DT finals for those who don’t already have him.

  9. Avatar

    The Plagiarist

    July 10, 2011 at 8:06 am

    Actually Adz, you DID get the “20% Extra Free” bag of Lolly Bananas this season with four additional trades. But like the ravenous sugar-junky that you are, you scoffed them down anyway.

    • Avatar


      July 10, 2011 at 8:45 am

      whos winning again?

  10. Avatar


    July 10, 2011 at 8:50 am

    The shockers score for ablett should say 46… Everyone who owns him has the c on him!

    I also took the $100 note…. Come on Boyd keep those tumble punts coming.

  11. Avatar

    The Plagiarist

    July 10, 2011 at 9:16 am

    Thought Jack Redden might have made an encore appearance in Bandwagoners by now? Love that you tipped me into him in this column early in the season.

    Best thing about owning him is that he does it in spectacular point scoring bursts. I swear he went from 60 to 100 in the time it took me to nip across the street and buy a carton of milk yesterday. Like Priddis, next year heaps more teams will have him, but this season he’s still a nice differential from the usual MitchellSwanBoyd premium midfield combos.

    • Avatar


      July 10, 2011 at 9:23 am

      The kid loves to tackle… I think he scores more when the other team has the ball!

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        July 10, 2011 at 9:56 am

        hes in the right team then!

        • Avatar


          July 10, 2011 at 9:05 pm

          hahahahaha this comment actuallly made me crack up. i cant talk thou cos i go for port… :(

  12. Avatar


    July 10, 2011 at 9:56 am

    On a completely off topic subject – I am an eagles fan and after last years dismal season i booked a trip to Europe for September this year thinking there is no chance at all of them making finals. Now they are not only gonna be seeing september action but may go deep into september. Does anyone know of a site where you can watch AFLK games on the net as i think i will struggle to find a pub anywhere in Krakow or Gimelwald that will be showing any games.

    • Avatar


      July 10, 2011 at 9:57 am

      pretty sure you can watch games from europe on the afl website for free…..

      atleast it was that way when i was there..could be wrong

      • Avatar


        July 10, 2011 at 10:04 am

        Negative. Just got back from a year in Europe. You get one game a week on Eurosports 2 or you pay per view on $5 USD per game.

      • Avatar


        July 10, 2011 at 10:06 am

        Or just listen to every game via the match centre on

        • Avatar


          July 10, 2011 at 11:00 am

          this reckon its 19.95 for a month..worth it to see your teams play finals? I guess youd need to be on a pc with good bandwith tho…

          • Avatar


            July 10, 2011 at 11:55 pm

            Yeah the site works great
            I’ve spent the last 3 weeks in europe (UK, France, Italy) and watched the last 3 richmond games on the computer, only issue is make sure your internet is fast enough, had a terrible connection in London making Richmond v Carlton even more painful than it already was

    • Avatar


      July 10, 2011 at 11:44 am

      If you go to during a game, theres a good chance someone there will be able to give you a live video link if there is one available. Theyre good guys who’ll help you out if they can, just dont brag about your rank on there ;)

    • Avatar


      July 10, 2011 at 3:18 pm

      There’ll be a peer to peer site that’s hosting them for sure. Google p2p and go to the first site listed… Click “Live sports” up the top, then “Other” way on the right of all the sport options. Bulldogs vs Carlton is showing today, so every chance the finals will be showing come September.

      • Avatar


        July 10, 2011 at 7:53 pm

        Thanks for that everyone. This wasn’t something i thought i would have to be worrying about this year.

  13. feathertopDT


    July 10, 2011 at 12:45 pm

    Another golden stubby winner injured a week after receiving the award
    Hey boys my opponent for next week is gonna put Pendlebury captain. Can you give him the golden stubby so he gets subbed off on like 50 please???

  14. Avatar

    Chuck Norris

    July 10, 2011 at 1:08 pm

    My fork on DT street was between Adcock Lane and Scotland Avenue about 5 weeks ago. Due to Scotland having a bye in the finals, I chose Adcock, he was coming off 118 and he was averaging 100.

    After 5 weeks of venturing down Adcock Lane, it has produced the scores of 57, 47, 50, 61 and 55….the road was renamed Minuscock Lane

    Story of my DT career….

  15. Avatar


    July 10, 2011 at 1:26 pm

    Anyone who has lived on Adcock lane before, could have told you it was a
    deadend street in a very undesirable neighbourhood.

    • Avatar


      July 10, 2011 at 2:14 pm

      poor old adcock lane..keeps getting potholes, dont think its made from the strongest ashphalt

  16. Avatar


    July 10, 2011 at 1:48 pm

    What are everyone’s thoughts on Ablett > Daisy Thomas next week?

    • Avatar


      July 10, 2011 at 1:59 pm

      That is exactly what I reckon I will be doing if Ablett is out for 3+

    • Avatar


      July 10, 2011 at 2:21 pm

      Daisy has injured his ankle…I have both players.

      • Avatar


        July 10, 2011 at 2:41 pm

        He is still playing through it, sitting on 79 one minute into the 3 quarter. So quit your whinging!

        • Avatar


          July 10, 2011 at 2:55 pm

          Listening to it on the radio – made it sound much worse than it actually was it seems.

      • Avatar


        July 10, 2011 at 3:05 pm

        Thomas subbed off

  17. Avatar


    July 10, 2011 at 3:49 pm

    Should probably add Drew Petrie to the breakers – lucky I don’t have him :D

    • Avatar


      July 10, 2011 at 5:41 pm

      I traded him out for Didak when Petrie wa 300k or so and Didak somewhere around the same mark.

      Worst fucking trade I’ve made all season.

      It does make me feel better that he’s come out and played a dud at this stage of the year.

  18. Avatar


    July 10, 2011 at 4:32 pm

    Redden has been a DT jet this year. Got him when he scored 50 pts in a qtr. Thought “what a gun”. Had the C on Swan too, missed the ablett trade in rnd 13. Might grab him in the finals though. How is everyones scores so far? Im 15/1740

    • Avatar

      Dos Man

      July 10, 2011 at 5:17 pm

      16* and whats ur team name?

      • Avatar


        July 10, 2011 at 6:12 pm

        I have a team. Bought in Shaw and Lobbe as well so very pleased with this round, even though my trade out blessing continues. Usually once I trade out a player they score 100 the next week. Vickery stayed true to my midas touch by getting 90 odd.

        • Avatar


          July 10, 2011 at 6:53 pm

          HA! u have the exact same rank and points scored as me, but my team isnt doing that well this week :(

          Tits Out!!

    • Avatar


      July 10, 2011 at 6:06 pm

      Agree with redden absolute champ, I was forced to get him, worked out well. Heading towards 2100 if captain Gibbs and cross have good 2nd halves

  19. Avatar


    July 10, 2011 at 6:14 pm

    experiencing a weekend of dt death of which will most certainly be my second sub-2000 score of the year.

    had 6 trades left and no league this week and my overall is 2000 so im well out of it so i decide to cop the 2 zeros. cam richardson becomes emergency make that 3 zeros. captain ablett gets injured practically 2 more zeros.

    callinan, mzungu, pavlich, sylvia, richardson, rioli and didak all out. it was too much! FMDT! respect to the rest of the team who have somehow got me looking at 1800.

  20. Avatar


    July 10, 2011 at 7:51 pm

    Stanton was probably best on, just sayin.

    • Avatar


      July 11, 2011 at 2:20 am

      Bartel is my 7th mid, thats why he was on my bench

  21. Avatar


    July 11, 2011 at 12:13 am

    Some call it a hammy. but i call it JUDE BOLTON. ARGH.

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