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The Knee-Jerk: Round 5

Welcome to the mega Easter edition of the knee-jerk. Back in the day when Jesus played for the Jerusalem under18b’s he suffered a horrific season ending injury on the Friday, then miraculously on the Monday was passed fit and played again. I’m pretty sure that’s how Easter came about, so for this we should all give thanks…this was years before LARS was even invented so was a true miracle. Anyway what’s had me knee-jerking this round?

Welcome to the mega Easter edition of the knee-jerk. Back in the day when Jesus played for the Jerusalem under18b’s he suffered a horrific season ending injury on the Friday, then miraculously on the Monday was passed fit and played again. I’m pretty sure that’s how Easter came about, so for this we should all give thanks…this was years before LARS was even invented so was a true miracle.  Anyway what’s had me knee-jerking this round?


St Kilda

Don’t be fooled by the win, they beat a winless cellar dwelling team. St Kilda are shot, there is no doubt about it. They are rabble! Going backwards, hand balling into trouble, bereft of confidence….their premiership window is not only closed; it has window shutters, been boarded up, barbed wire around it and a mote with alligators snapping in front of it…..that’s how far from a premiership they now are. Their next few games against quality will show it beyond all doubt. Time for a rebuild Ross… you were close but no cigar. Unfortunately The Voldt will become as fantasy relevant as Kozi until something changes down at St Kilda way.

Robbie Gray (43)

This guy has been talked about for the past couple of seasons as being a breakout candidate in the mould of Shaun Higgins. Give up people; it’s not going to happen. All credit to Gold Coast, they got the monkey off their back but really….if Gray can’t do it against this mob he never will.

Bryce Gibbs (70)

Enough is enough Bryce, for f**ks sake. Are you ever going to get your hands dirty? He will forever be a fantasy tease capable of scoring anything but when you need him he goes missing. I guess when you name your son Bryce you are going to get a fairly dainty end product. He is close to making the never again list.


Tom Rockliff (106)

You know when you find the perfect parking spot and you stand there for 5 minutes looking at the sign trying to find the catch…Why isn’t anyone else parking here?? It’s too good to be true! That’s how I feel about Tom Rockliff. His scores are so good but why don’t I feel right in buying him? He’s really not that good a footballer, a bit Swan like I guess which probably means fantasy gold…Hop on board if you trust.

Nat Fyfe (103av)

What’s the most annoying thing in the world? The sound of that channel 10 voice over woman whispering to us about next week’s episode of ‘The good wife’ goes pretty close but the number one most annoying thing is missing out on THE bandwagon of the year.  I had him from the start so that was a stroke of luck but for those that didn’t, and still waited and waited, not trusting a 2nd year players body or temperament it’s now or never time! Do you want to miss out on this wagon? $330k is still a small price to pay.

Jack Redden (138)

Often players from other states slip under our radars, Fyfe could have been one of those and Redden is also one of those, he’s turning into a DT jet! A tasty 138 this week follows after he was already batting at a 104 average. 3rd year rule applies here; time to jump on the wagon?

(Thursday) Captains curse

Most people would have loopholed with either Goddard, Montagna or Adcock and they all scored awkward scores of 126, 113 and 119. Was it enough for you to keep? Did you roll the dice again? After my fu*k up last week with Cox I took the 119 from Adcock and ran with it, a bird in the hand………

Other news

Tales of the tail.

We picked our sides to perfection before round one and everything looked right, all angles were covered. But it’s not until the bye weeks come around that the first pings of real doubt start to develop. Once any side has 2, 3, 4 or 5 guns resting on the pine and is forced to play rookies on the park it starts to look scary. Next week my side has a tail longer than the Bangladeshi batting line up with no fewer than nine rookies gracing the field. Last week when they all scored pb’s was definitely an anomaly, this week’s form so far is back to normal; Bewick 21, Toy 37, Otten 48 , Duigan 47 …enough said.

In jail for Krak

Andrew Krakouer has pissed so many coaches off these past few weeks the only thing he could win is a popularity contest against Michael Clarke. How did we actually get sucked in? He was always spuddy for Richmond then he dominates a season in a substandard competition across the other side of the continent and we thought everything had just changed? Jail doesn’t make anyone a better footballer, just makes them better at trying to avoid a shiv or an unwanted same sexual advance. Another burnt trade…..only loser’s use krak.

The sub (continent) rule

Once in India we went for a ride on this old man’s rickshaw. The poor guy was barefoot and it was about 45 degrees but he was a trooper. He stood up on the pedal and put all his weight on it and slowly it would go down and we’d move a tiny bit. Over and over again he did this until finally we would get a little bit of momentum up – then a car would cut him off and he would have to jam on the brakes and start all over again, it was painful to watch…..what does this have to do with DT you ask? Well this is exactly what is happening to some of our cash cows and mid pricers this year.  They slowly string a couple of good games together and get their average up then bang! The car cuts them off – they get subbed early (Yarran) and their average is fucked again thus rendering all your cash gone. It’s tough work, two steps forward one step back. It’s difficult to plan, banking on a player earning a certain amount next week when one sub and its all ruined.

The fable of the Swan

Regular readers of this column may have noticed a propensity of mine is to slag off Dane Swan, particularly his slut worthy game style which is great for DT but not for real football. While in DT terms he is turning tricks, on the footy field he’ll never win a Brownlow. I have realised it is just sour grapes on my behalf because I can’t afford him. The term sour grapes comes from one of Aesop’s fables. In this one a fox wants to eat some grapes off a tree, there is a bunch that he can’t reach so he figures that because he can’t reach them they must be sour and shit. Once I move heaven and earth to reach Dane Swan I will stop slagging him off and sing his praises. Hopefully it’s soon!

It’s cliché to be cliché

Here is any interview with any coach after any game;

At the minute he is tickling all the boxes, in respect to dotting the I’s and crossing the T’s. The player group admire him, and as a unit they all want to move forward together…as a club. As long as he does his due diligence and the team unit follow their processes and reach their kpi’s the result will take care of itself. He is up and about, there is no doubt about that but let’s just take it one week a time. Look it’s no secret we love the way he goes about his footy and not just him, all the boys really stood up last week…. I just told them as long as they keep putting on scoreboard pressure and play through the lines I can’t ask for any more than that. To the boys credit they gave 110% but we still had to give it one more roll of the dice and fortunately we kept our structures and the result went our way today.

Cut price corner

Nothing worse than when you are desperate to trade out an underperforming spud (Krakouer) in one trade but don’t have a lot of money to spare. You start to go silly trying to find cheap players that aren’t cheap for a reason, scrolling down to the deep dark regions of the player list looking amongst the lepers and retards for a Smokey. You feel like a buzzard pecking at the bones of the AFL list weeks after everyone else has had their feed, like getting the malt-o-miks and nice left in the biscuit bowl after everyone else in the office has eaten the good Arnott’s assortment…  Well not this time! You can stay and rot on the bench kraks. I’m not getting duped into an A. Edwards or an R.Gamble; this year its premo gun or bubble rookie, no halfway measures, no f**ked up trades.

So that’s about it for this knee-jerk smack bang in the middle of a mega long feast of football. Enjoy the rest of the round but in between the times your mind is thinking of whom to trade or who to buy spare a few moments to remember the young guys who had no time for DT back in the day, because they were fighting for our country… paving the way for us to live the life we do now. Respect.

Any other knee jerks or DT thoughts during this mega round?



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    April 24, 2011 at 6:38 pm


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      Trutwang 99

      April 24, 2011 at 7:26 pm

      u bloody genius
      good onya mate!

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      April 25, 2011 at 12:08 am

      no one cares!!!!!

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      April 25, 2011 at 12:39 am

      If I had to meet you in person, I would consider it one of Dante’s nine stages of hell.

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        April 25, 2011 at 8:59 am

        i’m kneejerking the people who write ‘first’ after each article next week!

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      April 25, 2011 at 5:49 pm

      Everyone that likes you is wrong!

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    April 24, 2011 at 6:55 pm

    Does anyone have a gold medal for mij?

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    April 24, 2011 at 7:05 pm

    Hating my two trades to cover ruck… especially because the plan all along was to trade rookie (i.e. Richardson) to Petrie with leftover cash. Was thisclose to it, but came up a lousy 1.1K short. Now it’s cost me about a million points, as part of the double deal was to get Adcock in for Broughton. Bleh!

  4. Warnie


    April 24, 2011 at 7:45 pm

    Nice thing to read mid-round, thanks Adzman!

    My knee-jerk will be to dump Vickery to McCauley and that will sit me with about $280K in my bank and then ready to go BANG BANG! Will look at getting Chappy for Krakouer after Round 6.

    Worried about Otten getting a game next week. He was pretty average… shat himself a fair bit under the pressure of the close game. Spend a decent amount of time in the midfield and was very stinky!

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      April 25, 2011 at 9:27 am

      My plan too. Slightly messed up by Vickery not making his breakeven – but he is gone.

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      April 25, 2011 at 10:32 am

      Seems like a waste of a trade……Broc is hardly even certain for a game this week let alone the next few weeks……as a Brisbane fan I’m fairly certain he wont play too many more games in 2011

      I’m just waiting til post R6 so I can go…..Vickery > Sandi and then downgrade someone in the forward line to Lobbe. Sandi/Cox take over the rucks with Smith and Lobbe (Who’ll play games) on the bench as cover and Petrie moved up into the forward line.

      • Warnie


        April 25, 2011 at 10:40 am

        Not a waste when I am making over $100K. How many times has the 4th ruck been needed? If he plays, it’s a bonus.

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          April 25, 2011 at 11:04 am

          i started with broc as my 4th ruck and as you say everything is a bonus for an 80k 4th ruck …. but i reckon luey gave brisbane an extra dimension up forward and i wouldnt be suprised to see broc play a few more games this year to allow him to play more time there with clark……that duo would stretch most back lines!

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            April 25, 2011 at 6:19 pm

            With Clarke, Drummond and Maguire all back within the next week or 2 Broc will barley play much more this season. We had one too many talls on Thursday and as tough as it is Broc will probaley get the flick….it’s either him or Cornelius atleast

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          April 26, 2011 at 2:53 am

          Spot on Warnie. Cox, Sandi and Smith are enough – particularly as we are coming to the end of the multi-byes. I’ll have the $100k thanks.

          Taking Fyfe over Chappie at this stage. Even after this weeks rise he is still cheaper than many premium forwards.

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    April 24, 2011 at 8:31 pm

    MY BEST TRADE EVER>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

    Knowing Drew Petrie had a round 1 suspension and a round 3 bye, i wanted to pick him up in round 5 before his price increased.

    Thanks to some great advice on here, i traded out Andrew Krakouer and brought Petrie in for the DPP link with Hale.

    I played him and picked up a lovely 143pts and Krak got dropped!!

    What made it even sweeter is that my brother-in-law dropped Petrie for Chris Knights this week.

    I tried telling him it was CRRRAAAZZZYYY STOOOPID doing a sideways trade, let alone when the player you are trading out is about to go up in price and is still playing – for a guy who just had his 1st price-rise. AND GET THIS………HE HAD HALE AS WELL for the DPP link!!!

    I tried telling him last night it was one of the dumbest rookie errors i’d ever seen and he just said “well, we’ll just have to see what happens”

    Needless to say he got a phone call from me today :D

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      April 24, 2011 at 8:35 pm

      Now i just hope Swan doesn’t stink it up after leaving the Captain on him when Adcock’s loophole 119 looked very tempting.

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      April 25, 2011 at 6:24 pm

      Gamble was a horrible selection at the start of the year but I share your joy as I made the trade for Petrie. He will score poorly again and won’t pump out scores like this very often but he’s 80s should work up until the roos next bye (r1 of finals).

      Just wish I’d been more adventurous and left the c on Pendles. It was there tuesday (and on a dozen other blokes wed, thurs, fri). Swan will do.

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    April 24, 2011 at 10:03 pm

    I think my knee jerk moment would have to be trading gibbs out of my team simply for the fact i hate the way he goes about his footy. I mean, seriously, he couldnt be more of a show pony if he tried! obviously i wont trade him out but if i was a first year dt’er, he would be gone!

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      April 26, 2011 at 7:56 pm

      you want to talk about the way people go about their footy?? If i see one more clip of Gary Ablett floating around a pack waiting for a handball, getting one from under the pack then running of into space to score a goal or hit a forward on the chest with the commentators saying ” He is the best player to ever play the game”, i will scream. He is soft and i think that especially with all the kids at the gold coast he should go and win his own ball for once.

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    April 24, 2011 at 10:16 pm

    mm yeah my knee jerk was trading Prestia into Libba 1min before partial lockout while drunk thinking it was a full lockout. yikes!

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      April 26, 2011 at 9:47 am

      There’s a lesson for all the kiddies out there – don’t drink and DT.

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    April 24, 2011 at 10:22 pm

    downgraded ward to liberatore, then did a sideways trade to goodes because i was 20k short if i was going to upgrade nonkrakouer

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    April 24, 2011 at 11:32 pm

    I traded Krak to Libba and boy it felt good!

    Can someone come up with a sensible plan for Cam Richardson? I am tempted to let him rot on my bench forever.

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      April 25, 2011 at 9:02 am

      Traded Cam Richardson to Tapscott and if Tapscott scores reasonably well against West Coast on Royal Wedding eve, then I’m pretty happy with my decision as I think that Richardson is now playing in a full-back role.

      Happy with the Broughton > Adcock trade and just waiting on Krakouer to Pitt and will not be trading in round 6.

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    April 24, 2011 at 11:41 pm

    Who do you trade krak for if you already have libba and krak plays forward for me
    any suggestions of good forwards worth trading for krak keeping in mind i also have matera

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      April 25, 2011 at 8:53 am

      Pitt last week.

      Noone else springs to mind atm.

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        April 26, 2011 at 7:59 pm

        i went krak to fyfe before this round. but i also had like 400k in the bank. Still got 222k any suggestions on what to do with brad green?

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    April 25, 2011 at 12:30 am

    maybe Krak to Jack Darling, or down to Jayden Pitt…..both look like they might go the distance

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      April 25, 2011 at 5:01 am

      Krak to Pitt, that’s what I did. Now I just have to wait to see if it was worth it…

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    April 25, 2011 at 12:35 am

    Great read Adzman. Agree with you about the Lion’s young guns….. looks like Redden , Rich, and Rockliff are all ready to take over from Black and Power. I was at the game, and still don’t know how the Saints managed to win….they looked WOEFUL!! My biggest gripe so far is putting Richardson on my field instead of Matera…..lost 70 points right there!! (Also neatly cancelled out Petrie’s stellar effort :-( )

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    April 25, 2011 at 6:45 am

    I’ve got some cash available and looking to get Krakoer out for J Voldt as he probs won’t drop much more and Is a bargain for a semi premium. Will probably end up being our 6th/7th forward by end of year.

    Also, very happy with the Broughton to Adcock trade this week. I was smiling with every touch he got against the saints.

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    April 25, 2011 at 11:27 am

    My Knee jerk may be to ditch Nick Reiwoldt before he goes down hard with a sinking ship. I know ill probably get flamed for it but ditching Krak and Roo and getting Chappy on board after his bye may not be a bad call considering Petrie has now just become an option for keeper.

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      April 26, 2011 at 9:50 am

      On the back of one game against the Tigers?

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    April 25, 2011 at 11:47 am

    Reaaaaalllly want to stop burning trades… bloody Krakwhore.

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    April 25, 2011 at 11:59 pm

    Good call on trading out broughton this week for Gram, although I wish I’d gone to Adcock

    Also went Palmer to Fyfe

    Fyfe 107 (+33,900)
    Palmer 53 (-13,700)

    Good trade :D

    Wish I made Boyd captain instead of swan though

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    April 26, 2011 at 12:18 am

    (1) At the last moment I took the C of Pendlebury and gave it to Gibbs.
    (2) I then took Heppel off and put Toy on.
    (3) Finally at the last last fucking moment I took Matera off and put Richardson on.

    If I hadn’t bloody fiddled on Saturday morning I would be 332 points better off – 332!!!!!!!


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    April 26, 2011 at 6:32 am

    Brilliant post, adzman. Loved every bit of it.

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    April 26, 2011 at 9:56 am

    Great write-up again adzman. Your bit on the coach’s speak reminded me of a great bit on the Late Show (on the ABC back in the 90s) with Tim Watson. They did a mock post-match interview with him where he pulled out a lot of the gems you have included here. Then they did the interview again with “what he should have said”.
    “Yeh, I was sh*t-hot today and if it weren’t for me we wouldn’t have won. Some of my team-mates are absolute duds and we’re lucky that the ball was in my hands when it mattered…” What I wouldn’t give to hear something like that from a coach or player post-match :D

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