DT TALK » Chook’s Rooks

Chook’s Rooks – Round 22

Chook — Tue, 23 Aug 2011 20:00:16 +0000

In the AFL, as in life, there are certain clubs that are more appealing than others. The millionaire’s club, for example, has a little more allure than the “accidentally went to work/school wearing your undies on the outside” club. On a more literal level, places like New York music club The Bowery Ballroom are infinitely more enticing than ones like the filthy dance dungeon in Amsterdam my then-boss dragged me to where the top of my head scraped on the concrete ceiling and I swear I sore all three of blood, crap and spit on the walls. There was probably piss and sweat pooling on the floor too, but I wasn’t about to hang around and find out. Apologies for the graphic example, but I’m trying to emphasise that there are clubs you’d be more than happy to join and others that you’d really rather avoid. In round 22, our AFL debutants were admitted to “clubs” on opposite ends of the spectrum. In an undies-on-the-outside moment, Collingwood first-gamer Tom Young joined countless others whose first touch in AFL footy resulted in a free-kick against when, caught in a tackle by his Brisbane opponent, he threw the ball out to a Magpie teammate on Saturday night. The flame-haired Young soon had the chance to make amends with the opportunity to join the goal-with-their-first-kick club, but his shot sailed wide. Western Bulldogs 20-year-old Jason Tutt certainly wasn’t going to pass up that chance, nailing a six-pointer with his first kick against Port on Sunday. Not content with that, he proceeded to boot goals with his second and third kicks, too, becoming just the seventh player in AFL/VFL history to do so. That’s Bowery Ballroom stuff, that is. What does it mean for your Dream Team? Not much, unfortunately. Tutt and his flat-track Bulldog mates don’t get to play Port every week, regrettably, instead facing up to top-four Hawthorn in the next round. A repeat of his 122-point performance is unlikely, then, although I’ve heard some coaches say they’re going to cover their Carlton backline byes by bringing in Tutt this week. Braver men than me, they are, but where would the DT finals be without a little bit of risk-taking. Best of luck to them. Here’s hoping they don’t join the “knocked out of the DT finals because a ballsy trade backfired” club – it’s a pretty chockers group as it is.

Three-or-more gamers

With few-to-no DT relevant forwards in the Carlton line-up, most DT coaches would’ve been licking their lips at fielding a full-strength forward line during the Blues’ bye this semi-final week. A handful of (potential) injuries or bans to popular picks like Colin Sylvia, Matthew Pavlich and Nick Riewoldt, however, means trading or bench cover is required yet again. Those going down the latter route can at least take some confidence from the outstanding form of Fremantle mid-fwd Tendai Mzungu, whose increased opportunities in the Docker midfield has resulted in some tasty scores of late, including a 92 last week following back-to-back hundreds. Hawthorn mid-fwd Isaac Smith dipped a little last week, suffering through a stagnant third term to post 75 points, but averaged slightly better than Bradman in the three before that, and will take the field for many a depleted forward line in round 23, I’m sure. The opposite is true of Melbourne flyer Jeremy Howe, who’s likely earned lifetime bans from many a DT coach after his measly 2-point effort in last week’s preliminary finals. The Blues’ bye is going to hurt most teams in defence, where Bryce Gibbs and Heath Scotland – both on track to finish the season as top-seven backs – are understandably popular picks. With teammate Nick Duigan also sidelined following his impressive 75 on Friday night, our rookie hopes rest with Nick Lower earning a recall, Paul Puoplo and Ben Jacobs boosting their round 22 scores by about 50 points or repeat performances from Cam Pederson, Danny Stanley and Dyson Heppell. While Essendon’s Heppell fell just a kick short of his fifth hundred this season, North’s Pederson and Gold Coast’s Stanley both broke through the three-figure barrier last week, no doubt tempting coaches to include them in place of Gibbs/Scotland in round 23. More could be expected of Puopolo and Jacobs, who boast respective highs of 99 and 96 this season, but it’ll take some courage to play them this week after both scored poorly last round despite avoiding the subs’ vest.

Two gamers

Let’s face it, sideways is going to be the trade of choice for just about every coach on the planet this week, but if you’ve somehow got enough trades/cover to downgrade, then the two gamers who, importantly, have yet to have been hit with a price hike are: Collingwood youngster Ben Sinclair, whose quiet third term restricted him to 68 points; Port Adelaide forward John Butcher, who should’ve pushed closer to a DT tonne with six goals but only managed 67; and Power teammate Tom Jonas, a defender, who also had just six possessions in his 26-point game.

One gamers

The AFL coaches believe they’re doing the right thing by blooding the youngsters but, at this stage of the season, us DT coaches would rather they kept them on the shelf until 2012. Another seven players had their prices next year inflated by earning selection in round 22, including the aforementioned Tutt and Young. North Melbourne midfielder Aaron Mullett played well, scored 60 points and, probably most importantly for those looking to free up cash, comes in at just $80k. The Suns introduced another three players in ruckman Tom Hickey, fwd-ruck Joel Tippett and former Geelong forward Nathan Ablett, although none of them are likely to be introduced to our DTs, while another ruckman, Ayce Cordy, found himself in the Western Bulldogs team following the coaching change there last week.

Chook’s Rooks – Round 21

Chook — Tue, 16 Aug 2011 20:00:22 +0000

When this year’s rookies get together at the end of the season to share a soft drink or two, New Found Glory’s Hit And Miss will be the first track that DJ Warnie spins. It might be an oldie, but what would be more appropriate for a group capable of such chest-thumping highs and wrist-slitting lows? The hit-and-miss nature of our rookies was never more evident than in round 21, the first week of DT finals, when we had three hundreds but a bunch of others who failed to muster up more than 40 points, including one popular pick who couldn’t even get to a dozen. Zac and Isaac Smith are a case in point. I haven’t seen the Brangelina movie, but I’m pretty sure both the Smiths kicked arse in that. Not so in DT this week, with gangly Isaac a definite all-action hero with a round-topping 115 (taking his three-game average to a tidy 100), while rangy Zac flopped with a 34, despite earning a lead role in many a team due to Drew Petrie’s bye. Isaac’s big hundred would’ve come in handy if you were covering Petrie or his North Melbourne skipper Brent Harvey, although you wouldn’t have had much to complain about if you opted instead for Fremantle mid-fwd Tendai Mzungu, who knocked out a 105. You and your team might’ve been upset, however, if you backed in Andrew Krakouer following his solid scoring in recent weeks, as the Collingwood mid-fwd managed just 55 against St Kilda. In defence, plenty of coaches played Fremantle’s Nick Lower on their field with confidence, given a season record that boasts two huge hundreds and a 96 as recently as last week, but the Docker let them down in a big way, producing just 11 points in a forward role before being subbed out.

If you’re in a semi-final this week, then there’s every chance you’ll be fielding some more rooks with plenty of coaches having one (well planned), two (manageable), three (risky) or four (Molly, what were you thinking?) of popular Geelong players Corey Enright, Joel Selwood, Jimmy Bartel, Stevie Johnson and Paul Chapman in their line-ups. Time to pray to the rookie gods, then, that the kids you choose are more hit than miss.

Two gamers

From round 5 to 15, or thereabouts, getting the lowdown on the fresh meat available was one of the most important parts of your DT week, as you downgraded your way to a team bursting with premium goodness. Now, this segment is about as useful as a trophy cabinet down at Demonland, but it’s hard to kick a habit.

While Melbourne suffered yet another demoralising defeat in round 21, its second-game midfielder Sam Blease did okay, scoring 66 points against West Coast on Sunday. Maybe the red boots meant he caught the eye more than most, but his 20 possesions were more than high-profile teammates Tom Scully, Jack Trengove and Colin Sylvia collected and if he can add the odd tackle to his game (he had one against the Eagles) he might feature in our future squads. Yeah, really selling it.

One gamers

Like the Dees, Port’s ladder position means blooding new players is one of the few reasons to run out each week. The Power handed two players a bow in round 21: forward John Butcher and defender Thomas Jonas. Butcher had a goal in his 58-point effort, while Jonas happened upon 39 points while running around after Hawthorn captain Luke Hodge. Peter Faulks, the skinny Freo defender done out of a round-one start by Nick Lower, finally got a gig this week, but he seems far from the DT type, scrounging 39 points in a solely defensive role.

Start thinking about the rooks who’ve done you proud this season. It’s almost time to vote for the annual All-Rookie Team.

Chook’s Rooks – Round 20

Chook — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 20:00:01 +0000

The arrival of Dream Team finals is traditionally a bittersweet experience for the rookie-centric coaches among us. We’re just as excited as the rest of you to see whether our teams can leap the last hurdles on the track to ever-lasting league glory, but we’re a little sad to be doing it without our beloved first-year footballers. Usually by this stage of the DT season our best cash-cow kids have been tossed aside, double traded for a gold-rolled premium and an $80k bench-warmer. This year, though, it’s a little different. The advent of the bye and the existence of some out-and-out stars in this year’s crop of youngsters mean some coaches will be fielding up to three rookies (or rookie-priced players) in their assault on the first round of finals. He won’t be around for the grand final itself, but plenty of coaches will be hoping Dyson Heppell gets them there. Other coaches count defenders Danny Stanley and/or Nick Lower as part of their finished team, while those hanging on to North Melbourne veteran Brady Rawlings could be forced to use rookie cover. The absence of fellow Kangaroos Andrew Swallow, Drew Petrie and Brent Harvey and the possibility of Colin Sylvia serving another week in the seconds means the likes of mid-fwd maestro Tendai Mzungu and ruck-fwd Matthew Lobbe will receive a call-up from some coaches. Some brave souls might even have the balls to give Ian Callinan a guernsey if he’s named to make his return from injury this week.

I was going to give a Calvin-style breakdown of the best rookie options to cover your Petrie and Sylvia-shaped holes, looking at the player’s first game against this week’s opponent, and their scoring history at the ground, but then realised I’d be doing Get Off The Bench blogger Dunny out of a job. It’s a probably a good thing that I’m now redundant around these parts, because f%^$ me does my English Premier League fantasy team need some attention…

Not much point in delving into the three-or-more gamer bracket then, so we’ll skip straight to the two-gamers in the off chance you’ve saved a downgrade trade for round 21. You’re one of the guys who put down “DT” for the religion question on last night’s Census, right?

Two gamers

Essendon defender Michael Ross started as the sub again, but was forced to wait much longer this week before getting a run around, coming on in the fourth quarter to register six points. Best FanFooty joke of the weekend was claiming him as your captain in SuperCoach, where he scored -2. Those jokes never get old. Not a bit.

Our other two double-gamers, Adelaide midfielder Aidan Riley and Gold Coast defender Jeremy Taylor, avoided subs vests of either colour to score 50s. Taylor was lucky enough to have the ball in his half for the majority of the game against Geelong, with four first-quarter goals kicked on him by Stevie Johnson before being moved to Cam Mooney. You can’t be too critical of Taylor; the league’s top defenders would’ve had trouble containing Johnson in that match, given the delivery he received from his loosely-checked midfielders and the rich vein of form he finds himself in.

One gamers

Brisbane midfielder Josh Dyson ($92,500) became the 135th rookie-priced player to blip on my radar this year when he debuted in round 20. You heard right. 135. Anyway, you don’t expect much more than 31 points from sub-affected players, except when they get as much game time as Dyson, who got three full quarters of game time after the early injury to Joel Patfull. Not. Good. Enough. No one’s doing full-stop thing anymore, are they? Damn, I’m so 2009.

I did edge a little closer to the current decade when I finally picked up a smartphone last week, inspiring me to start using Twitter and some other stuff a bit more, so let me over the weekend which rookies are making or breaking your first week of finals @djch00k.

Oh, thanks to Who’s Your Daddy? for the reminder about the DT Talk league in the EPL fantasy competition, which kicks off this weekend. Head to fantasy.premierleague.com and enter league code 40564-160018. A Charles N’Zogbia hat trick might just ease the pain of being bundled out of the DT finals in the first week.

Chook’s Rooks – round 19

Chook — Tue, 02 Aug 2011 20:00:00 +0000

Sometimes, it’s best not to do too well in your worldly endeavours. The sex-change sprinter doesn’t want to set record after record on the women’s short track circuit, or their secret won’t last long. The odd win by a nose will have to suffice. Steroid-abusing Chinese swimmers don’t want to end up with shoulders like Jonathan Brown, or their doping will soon be discovered. Shoulders like (insert your scrawny friend’s name here)’s will have to suffice. The adult who enters the local supermarket’s kids colouring in competition to clean up the $20 voucher on offer doesn’t want to… you get the idea.

It’d be best if Andrew Gaff stopped doing so well, too. Not for his sake, but for ours. The West Coast first-year midfielder doesn’t want to keep knocking out 100+ scores, because he’s adding thousands of dollars to his DT 2012 starting price. Those 20s and 30s he produced as a “super-sub” for five of his first six games definitely would’ve sufficed. While wrecking his chances of being a viable selection in 2011, the use of Gaff as a perma-sub for the Eagles earlier this season meant he was on track to be a cheap pick – but one capable of raising his price significantly – next year. Eagles coach John Worsfold has let his young charge off the leash in recent weeks, however, culminating in Gaff’s 31-disposal, two-goal game on Saturday that translated into 119 DT points. In round 17 he chalked up 104 points before managing 58 in the Western derby in round 19. Those scores have helped push his average, which had been just a touch above 40 after his first six largely sub-affected games, up to almost 60. If you’re going the guns and rookies approach in 2012, Gaff, unfortunately, won’t be part of your plans.

Three-or-more gamers

It wasn’t a huge scoring round for the rookies (and their rookie-priced counterparts) but you don’t bust out scores of 2600 and upwards in a multi-bye round without at least a little help from your young guns. From what I can tell, Danny Stanley (83), Daniel Talia (55), Zac Smith (70), Andy Krakuoer (108) and Jack Darling (88) all contributed to the round-winning score of 2833 produced by DT Cubed Redux. If you didn’t have any of those guys on the field, you might have benefitted from Dave Swallow’s 104, Dyson Heppell’s 97, Isaac Smith’s 90 or Tendai Mzungu’s 84. Depending on the make-up of our team, any one of those would make a reasonable fill-in for Matty Boyd during the Bulldogs’ bye this week. Keep their respective opponents in mind, of course, and check out Get Off The Bench later this week to help guide your decision.

You’d have thought the Gold Coast Suns had brought a box of red vests to Metricon for the game against St Kilda given the number of poor scores to come out of the match but, no, only Matt Shaw (16) and Karmichael Hunt (24) were affected by the substitution rule, meaning Steve May (28) and Tom Lynch (27) just sucked. Cam Richardson (again) and Matthew Lobbe were the two most-selected rookies at the wrong end of the scoring chart, with neither able to crack the 50-point mark.

Two gamers

Also unable to tip his cap for a half-century was Marcus Davies, the second-year Blue defender who is the only two-gamer in the bracket this week. Davies was assigned a very defensive role on Friday night, but there are other factors that count against him too. The price tag is the main sticking point, coming in at a touch over $130k, but Davies is also a member of a team that still has a bye to come, and is listed in a position that will likely require cover during his team’s bye (few and far between are teams that don’t have at least one of Gibbs or Scotland in their backline). I’d be looking at one of the blokes below.

One gamers

Let’s be honest: your team is set and you’re saving your trades for the DT finals in case of injuries/suspensions/training-mishaps-involving-tennis-balls. No one needs rookies at this stage of the season, but if you’re still reading I’ll do you the courtesy of at least naming the newest kids on the block. If you’re still reading in the hope I’ll mention sex-change sprinters or square-shouldered freestylers from the People’s Republic again, then, no, go away. Suns first-timer Jeremy Taylor was the highest scoring debutant of the round, notching a nice 73 points, although fellow defender Michael Ross shapes as an equally adequate prospect, despite scoring almost 20 points less. Ross started as Essendon’s substitute but got to shed his green vest early on after yet another knee injury to teammate Brent Prismall. He didn’t look nervous at all about getting a go about an hour earlier than he expected against the reigning premier Pies. Not at all. But he settled well and could add to his games tally before the season’s out. Like Davies, though, the Bombers still have a bye to come and it’s in DT grand final week. A new (DT) ruckman debuted in round 19, although it’s hard to imagine West Coast’s Scott Lycett being much more than a place-holder in the Eagles’ line-up this year, unless Dean Cox starts pinging sports equipment at more of his teammates, that is. Your final two first-gamers from last week are Collingwood’s Ben Sinclair and Adelaide’s Aidan Riley, both midfielders who started as subs for their respective teams.

Chook’s Rooks – Round 18

Chook — Tue, 26 Jul 2011 20:00:37 +0000

As someone lucky enough to have stepped foot on all of the continents this planet has scattered about, (well, all bar Antarctica but I’ve seen Aliens vs Predator so I can pretty much tick that one off the list, too) I feel somewhat qualified to say that much of the best this world has to offer is right in our own backyard. Not our actual backyards – weed-riddled, unmowed grass strewn with empty stubbies is not the best this world has to offer. What I mean to say is, Australians can search far and wide but fail to find gems the equal of those right under their nose. I better get to the DT-related bit before I drop any more awkward rhymes, tired clichés or drift from proudly patriotic to red-necked idiocy. It’s just that, as I scour the back sixes of AFL teams, looking for a suitable replacement for Heath Shaw, I start to think I may have been ignoring the gem right under my nose. As a Melbourne-supporter with a particular interest in rookie-priced players, my backyard includes one Stef Martin. Whether he’s the best backman the DT world has to offer is debatable, but he’s certainly in the mix after a string of high-scoring games since round eight that has seen him rise to 10th in the list of top-performing defenders and ahead of a seemingly profitable run home. On Sunday, Martin was one of the few Demons to do any damage on the DT scoreboard against a dominant Hawthorn, chalking up 101 points to follow his 113 the previous week. In fact, Martin has had five hundreds in his 10 games since round eight, dropping under 90 just twice in that time for an average of 98.8. They’re not the kind of numbers that’ll excite the Calvin’s Captains research team, but impressive all the same for a utility-type player whose output was expected to drop with the return from injury of first-choice ruckman Mark Jamar. Instead, having Russian back on board has helped strengthen Martin’s scoring potential and consistency, making him a legitimate trade target despite having risen by more than $200k already this season. A soft schedule during the DT finals that includes West Coast, Richmond, Gold Coast and Port Adelaide, and Martin’s status as something of a unique pick, adds even more allure. A risk? Maybe, but so is flying to foreign shores. Oh, hang on, what was that? Fisher’s dropped to almost $300k? For real? But I’ve just written the whole bloody intro bit about that Gwen Stefani bloke from Melbourne, Warnie. I made up this whole “the best shit is right under your nose” kinda metaphor thingy and everything. $300 grand? Really? Okay, whatever you say, Warnie.

Guys, forget Martin. Get Fisher.

Three-or-more gamers

This could’ve been the Stanley Show for the second week in a row after Danny defied his club’s tweet about possibly missing out against his old team to score his first century this season, but no one likes a re-run unless it’s Monkey Magic, The Mighty Boosh or early-season Scrubs. Stanley’s partner in crime of recent weeks, Nick Lower, failed to deliver in round 18, managing just 66 points in the Western Derby. Lower had plenty of company in the under-performing category, with several Freo stars unable to reach their averages, but Tendai Mzungu wasn’t amongst them, scoring a healthy 83. The biggest rookie-priced scorer of the round was Geelong’s Allen Christensen, who knocked out a 113 to follow his 120 from round 17, making him a better seventh mid than teammate Jimmy Bartel right now. Elsewhere, it wasn’t a terribly high-scoring round by the rookies, especially when compared to the massive numbers pumped out by the premiums, but it didn’t really matter with very few rookies making the starting line-ups of most teams at this time of the year, at least not when Port Adelaide have the bye anyway. The injury to Matt Suckling left some teams short in defence; here’s hoping you were able to fill the hole with someone other than Paul Puopolo, Josh Toy, Nick Duigan or Daniel Talia, with each of those blokes – who all have at least 30,000 owners – failing to crack the half-century. It wasn’t just the defence that struggled to produce the points, however, with other popular forward picks like Luke Tapscott, Tom Lynch, Isaac Smith and Cam Richardson all making a minor impact in round 18. You’re not going to find any long odds on Richardson winning this year’s most disappointing DT rookie award. In fact, I might as well call the engraver now.

Two gamers

Carlton midfielder (for DT purposes) Wayde Twomey is the only rookie-priced player to have featured in the past couple of games, but there’s not much point trying to talk him up. I could have every set of steak knives in the world and still be unable to sell you this bloke, as his job security and points potential just don’t endear him to Dream Team coaches determined to use their final few trades on a sure thing. I can’t even talk up Ian Callinan for the forty-third time this year, with the Adelaide multi-positioner due to miss the next two weeks with an injured hamstring.

One gamers

It doesn’t get hugely better down here either, with second-year Blue Marcus Davies, a defender, the only rookie-priced player to feature in his first match of 2011 in round 18. Davies failed to break through the 50-point barrier in any of his five games last year, (and subs vests weren’t even around back then), although he managed a 58 against the Bombers on Saturday night. He might come in to calculations next week as a downgrade target for those with bucket-loads of trades, although he’ll be useless cover for the likes of Bryce Gibbs and Heath Scotland, of course, when Carlton have their bye in the penultimate week of the DT finals.

Chook’s Rooks – Round 17

Chook — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 20:00:54 +0000

My high school drama teacher was big on the theme of appreciating what you’ve got before it’s too late. I didn’t always agree with what she said, mostly because she shocked and embarrassed me in front of the class by labelling me a “sneaky fox” who was constantly stirring up trouble, when really it was my mate Russell Robertson doing the lion’s share of the trouble-stirring (don’t try to deny it, Robbo), but I had to side with her on this one. She drilled the message into us by selecting it as the theme for one our school’s Rock Eisteddfod productions, choreographing horribly amateur dance moves to the tune of Joni Mitchell’s Big Yellow Taxi, whose chorus is along the lines of:

Don’t it always seem to go
That you don’t know what you’ve got ‘til it’s gone
They paved paradise and put up a parking lot

You know the feeling. You get a new pair of flashy kicks and turf the old ones, only to realise within about a week that you much preferred the more comfortable old ones. You weren’t 100 per cent happy in your old rental place, but it now seems like a palace compared to your current abode, the one with paper-thin walls next door to the crack addict who loves a bit of American college speed metal at 3 o’clock every morning. You get penis extension surgery to add a bit of length, but are wishing you had your old tackle back after you trip over your new long dong for the fifth time. Everyone’s been there.

It goes to show that, sometimes, it pays to be content with your current situation and not always assume an “upgrade” is the best option. In my case, I should’ve appreciated my rookie-priced defender pairing of Nick Lower and Danny Stanley a little bit more. Those two got shipped from my team weeks ago, “upgraded” to Jed Adcock and Heath Shaw. After resisting Adcock through the opening stages of the season, I finally got sick of my league opponents benefitting from his 120-point games and took the plunge the very week he went on a run of shit scores or not playing at all. One-time Pie Stanley got the chop to make way and has, as those who’ve held on to him will gleefully tell you, strung together three consecutive scores in 90s. Shaw came in to my side about three weeks ago, so I got a couple of okay scores out of him, but it shits me to tears that the guy I ditched to bring him in, former Port midfielder Lower, scores a monster 130 the very same week that Shaw gets rubbed out for the remainder of the DT season. Maybe I’ll never learn my lesson: I really shouldn’t’ve ditched Stanley and Lower and I really shouldn’t’ve had 10 inches added downstairs. Who was your “paradise” that you traded into a “parking lot”? Let us know in the comments.

Three-or-more gamers

Lower was the star of the round, which probably doesn’t surprise given two of the other major candidates to go that huge – Hawthorn pair Shane Savage and Isaac Smith – were having a rest. Thankfully, in to the breach stepped Geelong midfielder Allen Christenson, who did his best Savage impression with a big 120 in the Cats’ win against Brisbane. Three others broke through the holy three-figure barrier in round 17, namely Melbourne defender Stef Martin, Gold Coast midfielder Sam Isles and West Coast midfielder Andrew Gaff. Martin is no stranger to the hundred club, his 113 continuing a rich vein of form that has him being name-dropped as a genuine Shaw replacement (with plenty of coaches happy to pay the premium price of $350k for a player whose DT finals opponents are West Coast, Richmond, Gold Coast and Port Adelaide), but it was a cherry-popping experience for Isles and Gaff. It must’ve simply been Isles turn after teammates Dave Swallow and Trent McKenzie cracked tonnes in the preceding two weeks, while Gaff, back in Eagles colours for the first time since round eight, benefitted from finally being let off the leash by coach John Worsfold, who had shackled his young star with the sub’s vest in all but one of his previous appearances. I was kind of hoping Woosha was going to restrict Gaff to cameo roles for every game this year so that he started next season at a tasty DT price. He’s still only averaging a touch above 50 from his seven games, including his latest score of 104, so there’s hope yet. Another rook-star back from a long break was Adelaide backman Brodie Smith, but unlike Gaff he failed to dodge the sub’s vest and duly produced a value-sapping 13 points. Melbourne forward Jeremy Howe also copped a vest this week, limiting him to 21 points and a subsequent price drop of $13k. Here’s hoping he wasn’t your “Buddy” during the Hawks’ bye round.

Two gamers

Adelaide back-forward Daniel Talia leads the list of two-gamers who featured in round 17 action, but it is teammate Ian Callinan – absent from the Crows team that suffered a second-half fade-out to Essendon – that should attract the most interest this week. Callinan looks set to return from his second injury setback this season to line-up against St Kilda in what would be the $80k mid-fwd’s crucial third game. If you haven’t got him in yet, find the room. First-up scores of 89 and 64 give him a breakeven of -88. Talia has done reasonably well for a big bloke and could earn a string of games to give you all-important back-up through to the end of the season. Or he might get dropped this week. I’m banking on seeing a bit more of him, however, making him an especially tempting option for those who’ve stuck by the photographer Sam Gilbert and want to unlock his back-forward dual-positioning. Barring the recall of someone like Geelong’s Josh Cowan or Freo’s Josh Mellington,the two other options in the two-game bracket are both ruck-listed. Gold Coast big man Rory Thompson has had a 77 and 48, while Collingwood’s Lachlan Keefe has had a 53 and 33. If they’re selected, they’ll earn their first price rise on Saturday night when the Suns host the Pies at Metricon.

One gamers

The trickle of fresh faces coming through has officially slowed to a drip, with Carlton midfielder Wayde Twomey the only rookie-priced debutant in round 17. Carlton have been sneaky in debuting two players this season that boast distinctive surnames beginning with “T”, but Twomey is a different bloke to teammate Tuohy, I promise. He’s priced at just $80k and nabbed 60 points in his first outing.

Disclaimer: Not all of this article is entirely true, or even a little bit true. Specifically I’m talking about the bit where I allude to having had knob surgery. That was Calvin. Okay? Cool.

Chook’s Rooks – Round 16

Chook — Tue, 12 Jul 2011 20:00:35 +0000

You’ll have to forgive me for taking a pretty relaxed approach to rookie hunting in round 16. The lack of league games meant most of my thinking actually revolved around next year’s DT season as I soaked up the match reviews from that annual showcase of future first-round picks, the national under-18 championships. Add to that my personal situation of having already used as many trades as there are arms in an underwater orgy involving two octopuses, a water rat and a walrus, and it was really hard to work up much enthusiasm about the kids coming through and making their debut at the moment. Even if you do have trades left to throw about, you can forget about downgrading and do a bit of sidewaysing instead, snapping up a fallen premium like Jimmy Bartel with a fattened-up cash cow like Dave Swallow. Speaking of Swallow, here comes our segment on “veteran” rookies, the three-or-more gamers…

Three-or-more gamers

So my nephew has been staying with us for a few days and, man, has the kid been giving Tiger Woods on the PS3 a thrashing or what? He plays as Tiger, “coz he’s got the maddest skillz”. He might speak like it’s 2005, but he speaks the truth: Tiger does indeed have the maddest skills – he’s a monster off the tee with a silky short game to boot. I mean, the man is so whack/prime/whatever that EA Sports went and named the whole game after him. With that in mind, I won’t be surprised if the AFL changes its name in a few years to the ADSL, or the Australian Dave Swallow League, because, by then, Swallow will be good enough to have earned the naming rights, just like Tiger. We’ve been privy to just how good he’s going to be for a little while now, but caught a glimpse of the post-Ablett possibilities when the Bald One broke down in the first half of the Gold Coast’s game against Sydney on Saturday night. Swallow scored a rookie round-high of 114 points in the game, which proved a profitable one for our young guns. Seven of the week’s top eight rookie scorers played in that game, with the only Swan amongst the Suns, Luke Parker, more than doubling his previous best with a 107. Essendon’s multi-position maestro Dyson Heppell, the fast-firming favourite for the Rising Star award, was the third-highest scorer with a 102 – his third strong score on the trot following a couple of 50s in rounds 12 and 13. A rest for Heppell is on the cards after coach James Hird flagged it last week, apparently, but one of my trusted Bombers sources – Ossie, Ossie, Ossie, Oi, Oi, Oi – says Hird will be guided by the player as to whether he needs a rest or not. One of the challengers for the Rising Star award, Jack Darling, will be hoping to pull a similar form reversal out of the hat after the West Coast forward’s 48 on the weekend meant he has failed to break through the 50-point barrier in any of his past four games.

Two gamers

According to my dubious book-keeping, there are currently 18 rookie-priced players who have played two games this season – all poised on the precipice of their crucial first price rise – but only three of them played that second game as recently as last week. Those three are Western Bulldogs forward Andrew Hooper, who’s listed as a defender in DT, Richmond tall forward Ben Griffiths and Collingwood midfielder Luke Rounds. Just a couple of points separated the three of them in round 16, with Hooper and Griffiths grabbing 45 points, while Rounds managed 43. Griffiths has been subbed off in both his games, the first after a knock with just 13 points to his name. That’s the same score that Rounds managed in his debut match too, in which he started as the sub. Hopper was far more productive in his first game, scoring 61 first-up, but damaged his chances of a third consecutive call-up with a pretty poor game on Sunday. A decent fourth quarter went some of the way to winning over Rocket Eade, but I wouldn’t be surprised if his name was missing from the Dogs’ team sheet on Thursday.

One gamers

Just the three debutants in round 16, including a couple of DT-listed rucks in Gold Coast tall Rory Thompson and Collingwood’s Lachlan Keefe. Hawthorn defender and Saturday sub Riley Milne is the third, with Thompson taking the honour of being the highest scorer with a 77 against the Swans. Keep an eye out for Adelaide utility Daniel Talia and possibly Melbourne middie Sam Blease as well, as these guys got their first chance before last week’s bye and could hold their places in round 17.

Chook’s Rooks – Round 15

Chook — Wed, 06 Jul 2011 06:49:11 +0000

One of the best things about being a dad is getting to play with your favourite childhood toys – like diecast cars, Transformer action figures and Lego – without copping the “creepy, weird man” or “nerd” tags. Well, not as much anyway. My sons are starting to get into Hot Wheels cars and it hasn’t taken long for me to be reminded that, like rookies, not all Hot Wheels are created equally.

Not content with slow-moving models that crawled down the track and limped up the loop-da-loop before tumbling to the floor, I was determined to hunt down the quickest and slickest kiddie cars on the planet. My research led me to the aptly-named Faster Than Ever series, which boast nickel-plated axles that reduce friction. Oh man, do those bad boys fly! Find one with a full metal jacket and you might just leave scorch marks on your floorboards. Gold Coast midfielder Trent McKenzie is a Faster Than Ever series car – a genuine jet. To prove it, the boy with the blistering left boot went ballistic in round 15, scoring a rookie round-high 122 points, taking his season average to a touch above 75. His 910 total points to date sees him ranked inside the top 10 for rookie-priced players this year, putting him in the illustrious company of young DT guns like Dyson Heppell, Shane Savage and teammate Dave Swallow. I’d love to have overlooked McKenzie’s breakout two-goal performance in what, admittedly, was a pretty DT-friendly game between Gold Coast and Fremantle at Subi after his monster score helped tbetta’s team sink my Merv Gray Autos, but it was simply too good to ignore. The next-best effort in round 15 came in the same game, with Fremantle mid-fwd Tendai Mzungu delivering on his preseason promise with a 108 that included a particularly productive third quarter. The only other hundred this week belonged to fellow multi-position star Heppell, who’s doing his best to convince coaches that he is in fact a perfectly fine candidate for your seventh defensive spot, as long as you’re confident in your cover for the DT grand finals when Essendon have the bye.

After Heppell was Port Adelaide ruckman Matthew Lobbe, who followed his first-up 95 in round 14 with a 94 this week. If Lobbe was a Hot Wheels car, the 2011 version has been completely remodelled. The man given first crack at filling the Dean Brogan-sized hole in Port’s clearance crew averaged just north of 30 points in three games last year, so his near-hundreds this season have come as something of a surprise. Having said that, it’s clear the substitutes rule has had positive affect on ruckmen’s scores across the board, and Lobbe’s woeful scores last season came in the back-up role whereas this time around he’s number one. The ability to switch between the rucks and forwards makes Lobbe an attractive option for those wanting to unlock Drew Petrie’s dual-positioning. This, coupled with those impressive scores and Brogan’s retirement, should result in a another sharp rise in Lobbe ownership this week. He quadrupled in popularity last week, rising from 6000 to 24,000 owners ahead of round 14 as coaches scrambled to cover the doughnut created by Cox’s bye. If you’re a Sandi or Smith owner and have more trades than a Simpson character could count on one hand, then Lobbe looks to be your car, er, man.

Three-or-more gamers

The good guys got a mention in the intro, so we’re left with the bad and the ugly here. Despite missing his first two price rises, more than 10,000 coaches jumped at the chance to recruit Hawthorn mid-fwd Isaac Smith last week. If they were lured in by his mammoth 138 in round 14, they would’ve been disappointed with his 53 against Collingwood in round 15. Port Adeliade def-mid Ben Jacobs was another to drop away after a big score the previous round, managing just 47 against Brisbane after scoring more than double that in round 14. In the same game, Brisbane’s Rohan Bewick maintained his recent good scoring rate, but only had half a match in which to get his hands on the footy after starting as the Lions’ sub… again. He finished with 40 points, which sees him fall into the bad category, narrowly avoiding ugly land. That’s where Sam Day resides. The Gold Coast forward picked up just 22 points against Fremantle, lowering his season average to 30 and, amazingly, dropping $10 grand to just $120,000. Horrible. Two more popular Gold Coast players in Zac Smith and Brandon Matera have also gone into a tailspin, courtesy of a huge hit in the big man’s case, and green vest for the little man. Smith, who has said he’s fine to play this week, by the way, dropped $16k and has a new breakeven of 109, while Matera leaked $10k and has a lofty BE of 91.

Two gamers

It might seem strange that, after several weeks now of shovelling Ian Callinan down your throats, I’m advising against selecting the Adelaide mid-fwd when he’s finally on the verge of his first price rise. The second-gamer started strongly against Sydney, pushing towards 50 points by half-time, before finding far less of the ball in a forward role that includes forays into the midfield. It’s not his second-half fade out that has Callinan on the outer, but a slight hamstring injury late in the game that looks set to have him sidelined for 2-3 weeks and the fact that Adelaide sit out their second bye of the season in round 16. If you haven’t got him yet, keep an eye on Adelaide’s team sheet from next fortnight onwards, as you don’t want him leaping up in price before you nab him. He’s got a breakeven of -88 – the same as Lobbe, in fact. After spruiking Lobbe in the intro, I won’t say any more other than weigh it up with some of the possible negatives. Price is one, starting at $120 grand. There is a chance as well, that Port will use some of the remaining games this year to “road test” some of their other young ruckmen, (although Lobbe is the most developed of the lot), and there’s also Brogan’s farewell game to factor into the equation. Oh, and don’t expect 90s each week. I’d predict an average of about 60-70 from here on in (watch him get 120 this week now!). I’m not trying to put you off – DP eligibility and good job security are big positives – but no one likes the used car salesman who fail to mention the crack in the engine before you buy the car.

I’m finding it hard to get very excited about the other “boys on the bubble”, as m0nty would call them, but that might be my low trade count talking. Outside of Callinan and Lobbe, there are two midfielders, two defenders and two forwards to consider. Collingwood’s Alex Fasolo (mid, $92,500), Gold Coast’s Hayden Jolly (mid, $97,600), Geelong’s Mitch Brown (fwd, $97,600), Fremantle’s Josh Mellington (fwd, $92,500), Gold Coast’s Joel Wilkinson (def, $97,600) and are either vest fodder, lack job security or have serious concerns over their scoring potential.

One gamers

My computer said “no” today, just after I’d contemplated the two-gamers, so there are no one gamers this week. From memory there were about six rookie-priced players to get their first taste of AFL action in 2011 in round 15, although that included some with a bit of experience, like Andrew Hooper at the Dogs and Ben Griffiths at Richmond. I’ll try to get an update done if my computer begins to unsuck tomorrow, but don’t sweat it too much… you’ll get another look at these ones before their price rises.

Chook’s Rooks – Round 14

Chook — Tue, 28 Jun 2011 21:00:53 +0000

A big shout out to our Stiffy rookies this week. By Stiffy, I mean multi-position – you know, the ones you swing back and forth from midfield to forward, etcetera, to cover doughnuts. I’m calling them “Stiffies” in honour of David Stiff, who has had as good a “multi-position” existence as anyone I can think of. His first position, that I know of, was as a national league basketballer. He played for the Tassie Devils in his first year and then, probably as a result of being in that success-starved environment, went on to be the winningest player in NBL history. Six titles with three teams, baby. His current position is as the high-performance manager and psychologist for reigning premiers Collingwood. I can’t see how it could get much better than becoming a sports professional when your professional sports career has ended. Making Stiffy the ultimate multi-position master, however, is the fact that he’s also dipped his toe into the entertainment industry. Yep, Stiffy has had a position in a movie, and not just any movie but the storied Star Wars franchise, playing Chewbacca’s wookiee mate Salporin. He played a wookiee! Anyway, back to the footy and those props for our Stiffy rookies. Hawthorn mid-fwd Isaac Smith was the most prominent, scoring a monster 100 in his team’s annihilation of Essendon on Friday night, backing up a big 90 the week before. There are few things more frustrating in Dream Team than a rookie playing two games and then, teetering on the verge of their first price rise, spending a few weeks in the seconds or on the injured list. That was the case for Smith, but he’s certainly made it up the coaches he kept waiting in the past couple of rounds. The other big mid-fwd success story this week was the debut of Ian Callinan, who knocked out a credible 89 for the Crows. That’s a great first-up effort which suggests a decent ceiling for the midfielder, especially when you take into account it came against the country’s top team on their home turf. The def-mids came to the party too, with Port Adelaide’s Ben Jacobs and Essendon’s Dyson Heppell putting a couple of poor scores behind them to register a 90 and 80 respectively. Heppell’s def-mid teammate Michael Hibberd let some coaches down with a limp 51, but it was Fremantle mid-fwd Tendai Mzungu who caused the most mischief of the Stiffy rookies in round 14, pulling out right at the last minute to leave his coaches completely unsatisfied.

Three-or-more gamers

Having given Smith and co their dues, this week’s rookie wrap couldn’t be without a mention of Hawthorn midfielder Shane Savage, whose 128 against Essendon took him to almost 300 points for the fortnight. Now up to a touch over $340k, Savage has made nearly $250k for those who took the punt on him early doors. Three other DT-listed centres cracked the century mark in round 14, namely Bulldog recruit Ed Barlow, Geelong up-and-comer Allen Christensen and Gold Coast rising star nominee Dave Swallow. Brisbane mid Rohan Bewick has finally got his price rolling in the right direction again with back-to-back 70s, and Cam Richardson owners will be hoping the Roo can do the same after scoring 59 in his first game since round 5. While three players criminally scored single-figures this week, and none of them were named Karmichael, the biggest disappointment of round 14 was probably Melbourne high-flying forward Jeremy Howe, who fell back to earth with a 39 in a week that he would’ve been deputising for Franklin/Riewoldt in many a team. That doesn’t mean you’re off the hook, Shaun McKernan (7), Cristian Howard (6) and Jasper Pittard (3), it just means you’ve got extra company on the HMAS We Hate You So Much Right Now.

A couple of defenders who appear to have peaked are Hawthorn’s Paul Puopolo, who was tried in a forward role this week, and Fremantle’s Nick Lower, who has kicked on for at least four weeks since the last time I said he was cherry ripe (just to spite me, I’m sure). Anyway, Puoplo made just $1,500 this week and has a breakeven of 59 going into round 15, while Lower leaked some cash and needs 88 to avoid losing more. That said, they both are excellent candidates to hang around your team for the long haul, with Lower looking good for 70s and 80s in a midfield role that’s likely his for a little longer yet, given the Dockers’ injury crisis, and Puopolo providing middling scores but the prospect of a DT grand final match-up against the Gold Coast.

Two gamers

I hope you’ve got some money under the mattress for your upgrades this week, as the downgrade options – in the two-game bracket at least – are pretty unappealing. Sydney forward Lewis Johnston got his second game courtesy of Ted Richards’ late withdrawal, but he failed to have an impact on the DT scoreboard, registering a measly 35 points. Bear in mind the opposition was the second-placed Magpies. Also in action on Saturday night was fellow second-game forward Patrick Karnezis, who managed 54 points for Brisbane before being subbed off in the third quarter. That’s two vests in two weeks then, after starting as the sub in round 13. It’d be nice to see what he can do in a full game, because his scoring rate has actually been decent. Your final option of the two-gamers who played last week is Western Bulldogs defender Jayden Schofield. He crawled to 45 points against the Gold Coast, following his first-up 29. think I’m still bitter at Bulldogs backs after they screwed me so frequently last year, but no thanks.

One gamers

We’ve mentioned the long-awaited debut of Callinan in the opening salvo, although it bears repeating that 89 points against Geelong at the Cattery is one of the more promising first games of DT we’ve seen this season. Let’s hope the points continue to flow. Callinan, who, now I think of it, would make an excellent wookiee, wasn’t the highest scorer of the one-game crew, however, with that honour falling to Port Adelaide fwd-ruck Matthew Lobbe, who notched 95 points. Lobbe has attracted a $120k price tag due to having appeared three times at AFL level before this year, and he looks set to add to that tally with incumbent ruckman Dean Brogan announcing his retirement this week. It’s good timing for those looking to exploit Drew Petrie’s ruck eligibility now that Sandilands has reinjured himself, and I’d expect Lobbe will have a few thousand new owners mispronouncing his surname by the weekend. After Lobbe and Callinan, the scoring drops off significantly and this week, oddly, the subs vest had little to do with it. Of the six remaining round 14 debuatnts, only Carlton defender Rhys O’Keefe (28) had to don a vest, and he had plenty of game time to impress future suitors after coming on in the second quarter for injured teammate Michael Jamieson. Forwards Josh Mellington (Freo, 50 points) and Mitch Brown (Geelong, 48), midfielder Hayden Jolly (GC, 45) and backs Joel Wilkinson (GC, 40) and Niall McKeever (Brisbane, 31) were all able to avoid substitution, but failed to register a significant score. There’s always next week, fellas.

Chook’s Rooks – Round 13

Chook — Tue, 21 Jun 2011 21:00:52 +0000

If you haven’t picked through the pages of Uncyclopedia yet, you should. Our rookie players have had a look, particularly at the advice on How To Kick A Man When He’s Down. In a week when so many “premiums” and popular on-field rookies failed to deliver, many of the rookies left on the bench decided to produce some of their best work of the season. While on-field forwards like Nick Riewoldt and Chris Knights crawled to 20-something scores, back-up blokes like Luke Bruest and Jeremy Howe were over on the bench raising the bat for well-earned centuries. When Jimmy Bartel and Leigh Montagna copped the red vest with such paltry scores to their names, midfield cover like Shane Savage (164!) and Sam Iles (85) were going gang-busters. Former backline beauty Brendon Goddard stunk it up on the field yet again, while stranded on the bench was Stefan Martin and Andy Otten with their combined score of 210. Everywhere I looked, coaches had superior scorers on the pine than on the ground. Even the much-maligned Rohan Bewick would’ve outscored most of the gun midfielders this week! Don’t be tricked, though. As soon as you need one of these blokes to actually contribute to your score by covering a doughnut, they’ll happily halve their score.

Following on from tbetta’s entire team of Breakers this week, I thought I’d put together a team of players that, at the start of the season, could all have been bought at rookie price (<$160), and see how they compared. Keep in mind that two of this season’s top rookie scorers, Zac Smith and Dave Swallow (back this week), were rested with ankle complaints, too.

BACKS
Martin (114)	Otten (96)	Nicholson (90)	Pedersen (84)
Stanley (83)	Hibberd (80)	Puopolo (68)	EMG: Duigan (67)
MIDS
Savage (164)	E. Barlow (91)	Iles (85)	Bewick (73)
Curnow (73)	Weller (68)		BENCH: Libba (62)
RUCKS
Bailey (84)	Gawn (63)		EMG: Vardy (49)
FWDS
Bruest (112)	Howe (105)	I. Smith (99)	Lynch (86)
Johnson (84)	Dahlhaus (76)	Mzungu (74)	EMG: Bucovaz (49)

That team, if you were lucky enough to put the C on young Savage, finished with a score of 2116 – about 1300 more than the Breakers and probably a fair bit more than our own Dream Teams too. Admittedly, about half of those blokes were involved in the Hawks-Suns game at Australia’s most profitable ground for DT, Aurora Stadium in Launceston. Still, not a bad effort for a bunch of blokes that would’ve cost just a couple of mil at the start of the year.

Three-or-more gamers

Dyson Heppell and Jack Darling, two of the few rookies who may have actually been on the ground for you this week, produced low scores yet again and, as a result, dropped about $15k each. If you’re not keeping them for the duration, it really is time to sell. If you’re like me and you can count your remaining trades on one Daniel Chick hand, then these blokes are in for the long, ride home. If you’re swimming in trades, however, then it could be time to off-load to a Shaw/Didak type, bearing in mind that Heppell would of course be unavailable for your league grand final, if you make it that far.

Two gamers

Just the four rookie-priced players on the bubble this week and, unless St Kilda’s Nick Winmar gets up, not a dual-positioner in sight. The best of the lot looks to be Western Bulldogs flyer Luke Dahlhaus, whose DT points have been flowing as thickly as his dreads. A 76 in his first full game followed 34 points in his first game, in which he saw only about half the match after starting as the sub. I wouldn’t be rushing to bring him in, but if you need to downgrade a forward to find some funds, then Dahlhaus would be a decent shout. Another Bulldog who has played the last two games is Ed Barlow, who, although not technically a rookie, just fits under the rookie price cap at $152,800. He scored 91 last week and can be selected in the midfield. But rather than take either of these two, I’d keep an eye on the teams as Adelaide $80k mid-fwd Ian Callinan could be named this week after a second strong showing in the SANFL (sorry to bang on about him, but I just feel he’s a better option than Dahlhaus or Barlow due to price and DPP). The other two gamers this week – Jordan Lisle and Mitch Golby – are both backs at injury-hit clubs. Lisle in particular has the chance to hold down a spot for the medium term, although don’t expect big scores. Golby’s been inconsistent to date, with a first-up 70 followed by a 39. He too should get a decent run given the spate of injuries at Brisbane and the team’s poor ladder position.

One gamers

While he looms as a decent downgrade target this week, Dahlhaus did his fellow rookies a great disservice by telling the media he thought it was fair enough that debutants copped the green vest. WTF, Luke?! Only DT irrelevant players should cop the vest! Or players that my opponent has but I don’t! Not rookies, mate. Anyway, his own coach didn’t take heed of Dahlhaus’s words, with Rocket Eade giving defender Jayden Schofield a full game in his debut against Adealide. Unfortunately, Schofield scored like a sub anyway, notching just 29 DTs. Michael Voss and Mark Harvey DID lump the green vest with the round’s other debutants, forward pair Patrick Karnezis and Ben Bucovas. Both scored reasonably well, compiling a little less than 50 each despite seeing half a game (or a little more in Bucovas’ case).