Late withdrawal now has a double meaning! No longer is it just a poor excuse for contraception, but it is the thorn firmly stabbed in the thigh of many dream team coaches. How long until the coaches of the AFL switch on and realise that this poor excuse for a tactic , in a lame attempt to gain the upper hand is crippling the real coaches that make this beautiful game of ours so special. Fremantle Football Club sent the Fremantle reserves side down to play Hawthorn at Hawk Park, and they would not have beaten the red Auskick team that entertained everybody in the main break. BUT. At least they named that they were not going to play Pavlich and Sandilands, so that those coaches that needed to, could arrange some cover.

Essendon and that pitiful excuse of a coach whose name starts with K and rhymes with nights, on the other hand decide to play a really well disguised trick and deceive the AFL public by withdrawing Patty Ryder on game day. Sydney did the same with ROK and then Melbourne pull a swifty and don’t play Colin Sylvia (helped me win so i was ahppy about that one).

When is the AFL going to make a stand and say “no, we will not go quietly into the night, we will stand here and fight for the rights of these dream team coaches and fine the crap out of all the clubs that choose to withdraw players late!” Possibly slightly dramatic, but hopefully you get the picture….

So how were you burnt on the weekend by late withdrawals, and who is prepared to stand with me and offer another form of contraception to these AFL coaches…. I can see the banners now… “If it’s not on, it’s not on” because it certainly isn’t my friends, it certainly isn’t

Righteo people, it is preliminary final time and therefor it is time to trim the fat and get ready for that one day in August. I don’t know about anybody else, but I can’t handle these nuff nuffs sitting on my ground scoring 30′s and 40′s. Nic Natanui is the serial pest that promised so much at the start of the year but has delivered so few dream team points. I was one of many that got sucked into getting the potential super star of the competition, and in all reality I will probably get him again next year, but now I am in a predicament. How do I get rid of him, or do I even get rid of him?

The problem is, with only 2 trades left, is it worth down-grading him to a $70K and upgrading or do I need to leave him there for cover… In all reality, in fairness to all others that have been chopped this year, Nic should have gone weeks and weeks ago… but the sheer practicality of it, says that I can’t. I’m between a chop and a hard place….. what should I do? Allow Nic and other under performing players stay in my team and hopefully win a premiership, on the coat tails of gun players, or do the morally correct thing and chop the under performing players and pick them up dirt cheap next year….

Who is sitting on your bench/field that doesn’t deserve to be there but you simply cant chop them????

I know what you’re all saying….. oh my god Chop you are soooo awesome at dream team… what an awesome score…. you must have the best team running around ever in the history of dream team…. you mustn’t have any bad players in that team of yours…. you’re sooo awesome…. WELL YOU”RE RIGHT…. but YOU’RE SO WRONG AS WELL…..

There is some dead wood in my team that still needs to be cut and I am going to dedicate all of my article to the one that disappointed the most….

J-Pod – AKA – Flash In The Pan
Now before people start writing in and saying that I should lay off this guy because he has made me heaps of money and he has been a champion and he is the best story of 2010, the whole from fitness trainer to full-time AFL player thing…. I agree with that, but it is now time to go.
The J-POD is like that favourite pair of slippers that the dog may have chewed, but you just can’t bear to discard but eventually when you go out to get the paper and you step in dog crap and the only place the crap goes through is that one hole in your slippers…. My opinion…. Don’t hold onto those slippers and definitely don’t sit them on the bench and hope the smell goes away…. toss em in the wheelie bin and trade em in for a new pair…. and get yourself a nice pair… a more expensive pair that you can rely on… GO THE VOLDT!!!!

Ever get sick of sitting there watching the footy with cold hands because your icy cold Boags Draught is taking a little too long to slam down… You have 2 options, harden up and scull it, or purchase yourself a stubby holder. And there is no cooler more hip stubby holder going around than the DT Talk stubby holder.

We are selling these little hotcakes out for $10.. and due to the fact that we live in little ol’ Tassie there will be a blanket $5 postage on all holders. We are more than happy to combine postage if you would like to purchase more than one to the same address… (2 stubby holders $20 + $5 postage = $25)

How to Order

All you need to do is e-mail dttalk@hotmail.com to place your order. You will then recieve an e-mail reply with the information on how to pay for your purchase. When all this is done, it should only be a few short sharp days before you are enjoying the comfort of drinking out of this little beauty.

P.S. Beer is not provided, oh and thankyou for supporting the website that supports you… peace!

Just like Lindsay Lohan is to jail… I’m back! That’s right, after sluggin it out over the terrain that is the Kokoda Track I am back and absolutely spewing about what I have witnessed over the past few weeks. Firstly, my overall ranking was 3000 when I left and put my team in the hands of my fellow DT Talkers. What is it when I get back…. 5000…. F ME. Apart from that it would appear that they don’t teach AFL footballers to drink enough milk and they are dropping like flies. This week I only scored 1998 because of some pitiful performances from some members of my team. Now, I normally scan the entire league looking for all types of players that may have let their coaches down, but this week they are all from my team. How many of these players let you down, like they did me????

Corey EnWRONG– OMG, what a pathetic performance from someone who has been a rock in my team this year. Averaging mid 90s, naughty Corey decided to go out and throw his skirt over his head and score me 42 points. Jordan Lewis was playing a disgusting forward tagging role on him (shame on you Clarkson) but even still, harden up and go and get the footy.

Nic Naitanui – (43pts)A Brompton, is the term that is commonly used to describe something that is built up to be something huge or cool and just ends up letting everybody down… at least I think it is…. Commonly used to describe a fart that someone talks up to loud and spectacular, only to fizzle out into the softest, girliest fart ever heard. Nic Nat, you are a Brompton my friend. The only reason you wouldn’t take the cake as the biggest Brompton ever… is because, at least you stink. 6 possessions… are you kidding me… there are homeless people walking the streets of Melbourne, with more than that in their napsacks… :(

Ryan O’Theif -Mr Ryan decided that he would rob every Dream Team coach out there on the weekend, robbed us of points he did, unless he did manage to squeeze through your window and take your plasma, and then you’re really unlucky. Did this guy have a few frothies before he played on the weekend? He gave away 5 free kicks, that would have taken your piss poor score of 66, up to a slightly less piss poor score of 81. Not good enough ya little nugget!

Bendan Goddard- I must admit that I am not even sure as to why you did not play. But in all reality I don’t care!!!! When the coach comes to you and says I think we might give you a spell this week so that you can trim you ranga hair. Tell him to shove it…. Harden up Goddard and get back in there next week. You owe me 140+

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Whether you are an under-performing player, an injured player or you are one of these medical staff wankers that continue to put injured players on the field. You are all eligible to be chopped, and chances are if you continue to annoy me more than seeing that Jessica Watson girls face on the TV, then you will get the chop! Below is a list of players that are well within my sights and they should be on the outer of your team if you are unlucky enough to have them.

Leon Davis– OMG, what a turn around from the year that Neon had in 2009. Last year he averaged 99.1 ppg and was an absolute machine, this year he is as pitiful as sailing a pink boat not quite all the way around the world, with an average of 63.6 ppg. Last week he scored 38 points and looks as interested as an anorexic person going through the McDonalds drive thru. Somebody said to me the other day that Leon Davis was good value, I hope they meant when he was on the piss, because there is no value in someone that hates getting the footy. Neon have a look at yourself, on the upside, if you don’t have him, he’ll be as cheap as a platinum PS3 game soon. Keep an eye in his form.

Options:Let’s be honest, if you have paid good money for this guy you wont trade him. If you don’t have him, keep an eye on his scores and if he finds his form of old, consider it!

Jonathan Brown – I love the Brown-dog and I am sure that if I met him in the pub I would buy him as many beers as he liked, either through respect or dead set fear for my own life if I didn’t. BUT! If you are only on one leg (which is still debatable, maybe 1/2) then have a rest big gun. All you do is bring your price down so all those scabs that didn’t get you at the start of the year can get you in now. After averaging 115 pts in his first 4 games, to only average 62.6 pts in his last 5 games. I love the DOG but have a few weeks off Browny, the damage may be done but it’s sad seeing you run around not 100%.

Tadhg Kennelly -This Irish Gigger, gigged when he should have jagged on the weekend and went down. Extremely unfortunate for those that have had him from the start (sucked in) but he will have to go now. He is suppose to be out for a month which is an awkward time, but I would trade this guy out quick smart.

Zac Dawson- I know what everyone is thinking, why have you mentioned Zac Dawson. Well, anybody that  plays for the entire game and only manages to get a touch in the last 90 seconds of the game deserves a mention. Great year last year Zac, but seriously… give it up…. If you have him in your team, clench your fist and direct it squarely into the bottom of your chin. Move it in an upward motion and make contact with your chin…..

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I have to put my hand clearly and as high in the air as I can and admit that I saw very little football on the weekend. As a lot of weekend was spent in a drunken haze or a hungover state that I wouldn’t even wish upon Ben Warren. I can read numbers though, so I have gone through these numbers as well as quizzing my esteemed colleagues and come up with a list if under performers for round 8.

Heath Shaw– All on board the Heath Shaw roller coaster the ride that promises to be a thrill but without doubt could bring that hot dog from the bile in your stomach only to leave you standing their with a terrible taste in your mouth and a burning sensation in the back of your throat. This man who runs around like it is illegal to take strides over a metre in length could only manage to score 50 points against the Dockers on Friday night. 50 from a player who is considered a premium back is simply not good enough. A repeat of this pitiful performance will almost certainly result in this guy dropping further in price.

Jack Trengove – There comes a time in everyone’s year when they need to cut players from their list that have performed. Jack has done his job and after scoring 50 on the weekend his break-even is now in the 70′s. Does this mean that he has reached his peak? Maybe not, but the money to be made from Jack Sprat could be slow and annoying. Is it time to diwn-grade this guy to another rookie and make a “mid-ranger” into a gun. I’m sorry Jack but it is time to go, thankyou for the money that you have made us, but the tribe has spoken.

Kurt Can’t Quite Tippet-Kurt Tippet would have to be the biggest let down since I found out that Milli Vanilli didn’t really sing “Blame it on the Rain”. Week in and week out he has let down his coaches and this week he racked up a huge 6 kicks and 9 hit-outs. I know I have chopped this guy before and I will probably chop him again before the year is out. But if you keep on being rubbish Kurt, we will keep kicking you to the curb.

Mark McVeigh- Mark, Mark, Mark…. what were you thinking? I did not watch this game at all but I am pretty sure that he only scored 22 points, he had the job on Milne and playing on that guy would be without an extremely off putting experience. Unless you are injured or abducted by some African Pirates at half time then you should definitely score more than 22. Calvin is a very average basketballer and can still score 22 points in a 40 minute game. Mark McVeigh, you can use any excuses that you like but I’m sorry…. Not good enough!!!!!

Here are the big DT names.

INJURIES
Max Rooke – KNEE – To undergo investigative surgery
Josh Drummond – KNEE – Artificial ligament thingy
Liam Anthony – SHOULDER – reconstruction (season?)
Warren Tredrea - ANKLE (12 weeks?)
Graham Johncock – SHOULDER – in doubt
Andrew McLeod – AC-JOINT – in doubt
Jared Brennan – ANKLE – 6 weeks

SUSPENSIONS
Shane Mumford - 2 WEEKS – Rough Conduct
Chance Bateman – 3 WEEKS – Rough Conduct
Dean Polo – 1 WEEk – Striking

HOPEFULLY RETURNING THIS WEEK
Buddy Franklin – ANKLE
Sam Mitchell – HAMSTRING

Official Injury List Ahead of Round 8

ADELAIDE
James Craig (hamstring) – 3 weeks
Patrick Dangerfield (hand) – test
Ricky Henderson (hamstring) – test
Trent Hentschel (knee) – 4 weeks
Jarrhan Jacky (hamstring) – 2-4 weeks
Graham Johncock (shoulder) – test
Chris Knights (foot) – indefinite
Brodie Martin (knee) – indefinite
Andrew McLeod (shoulder) – test
Brad Moran (knee) – indefinite
Andy Otten (knee) – season
James Sellar (hamstring) – test
Sam Shaw (shin) – test
Brad Symes (knee) – 1-2 weeks

BRISBANE LIONS
Jared Brennan (ankle) – 6 weeks
Jamie Charman (ankle) – 2-4 weeks
Mitch Clark (groin) – test
Xavier Clarke (knee) – indefinite
Josh Drummond (knee) – TBC
Daniel Merrett (hamstring) – test
Joel Patfull (hamstring) – test
Andrew Raines (calf) – test

CARLTON
TBC

COLLINGWOOD
Anthony Corrie (knee) – 3-4 weeks
Brad Dick (shoulder) – test
Tristan Francis (quad) – 2-3 weeks
Josh Fraser (knee) – test
John McCarthy (hamstring) 2-3 weeks
Shae McNamara (ankle) – test
Luke Rounds (shoulder) – 1-2 weeks
Sean Rusling (calf) – 1-2 weeks
Ben Sinclair (concussion) – test

ESSENDON
Ricky Dyson (knee) – 3-5 weeks
Tayte Pears (arm) – 2-4 weeks
Kyle Reimers (thumb) – 2-4 weeks
Henry Slattery (bruised ribs) – TBC

FREMANTLE
Des Headland (knee) – 8 weeks
Garrick Ibbotson (shoulder) – 2-4 weeks
Nick Suban (ankle) – test

GEELONG
Mitch Brown (leg) – 1-2 weeks
Joel Corey (knee) – 1-2 weeks
Marcus Drum (eye) – 2-3 weeks
Steven Motlop (shoulder) – 8 weeks
Brad Ottens (foot) – 5-7 weeks
Max Rooke (knee) – TBC
Trent West (hamstring) – test

HAWTHORN
Max Bailey (knee) – TBC
Shaun Burgoyne (jaw) – test
Lance Franklin (ankle) – test
Josh Gibson (hamstring) – 6-8 weeks
Rhan Hooper (hamstring) – test
Luke Lowden (groin soreness) – 2-3 weeks
Sam Mitchell (hamstring) – test
Simon Taylor (fractured leg) – TBC
Travis Tuck (foot) – test

MELBOURNE
Rohan Bail (quad) – test
Jack Fitzpatrick (shoulder) – 4 weeks
Max Gawn (knee) – indefinite
Liam Jurrah (shoulder) – 7 weeks
John Meesen (ankle) – indefinite
Ricky Petterd (shoulder) – indefinite
Luke Tapscott (hip) – 8 weeks

NORTH MELBOURNE
Liam Anthony (shoulder) – indefinite
Aaron Black (groin) – test
Matt Campbell (ankle) – test
Luke Delaney (broken wrist) – 6 weeks
Levi Greenwood (hamstring) – test
Drew Petrie (broken foot) – 2-3 weeks
Ben Ross (groin/hip) – indefinite
Ben Speight (broken jaw) – test
Gavin Urquhart (knee) – 1 week

PORT ADELAIDE
Daniel Bass (hamstring) – 3 weeks
John Butcher (back) – indefinite
Hamish Hartlett (quad) – 3-4 weeks
Nathan Krakouer (knee) – test
Marlon Motlop (foot) – indefinite
Jasper Pittard (hamstring) – 1-2 weeks
Warren Tredrea (ankle) – 10-12 weeks
Matthew Westhoff (groin) – 1-2 weeks

RICHMOND
Ben Cousins (back) – test
Matt Dea (foot) – 3-4 weeks
Nathan Foley (leg) – test
Ben Griffiths (shoulder) – TBA
Dylan Grimes (eye) – test
Troy Simmonds (knee) – test
Troy Taylor (knee) – 1-2 weeks

ST KILDA
Steven King (hamstring) – TBA
Luke Miles (stress fracture fibula) – indefinite
Nick Riewoldt (hamstring) – 9-13 weeks

SYDNEY SWANS
Craig Bird (foot) – 1-2 weeks
Craig Bolton (achilles) – 6-7 weeks
Daniel Hannebery (shoulder) – test
Ben McGlynn (quad) – test
Brett Meredith (knee) – 1 week
Jarred Moore (ankle) – 2-3 weeks
Jake Orreal (back) – TBA
Lewis Roberts-Thomson (back/hamstring) – test
Mark Seaby (ankle) – 10-12 weeks
Kristin Thornton (knee) – 1 week

WEST COAST
Tim Houlihan (foot) – 3 weeks
Brett Jones (arm) – 2 weeks
Daniel Kerr (hamstring) – 9 weeks
Chris Masten (knee) – 6 weeks
Ryan Neates (finger) – 4 weeks
Scott Selwood (hamstring) – test
Luke Shuey (knee) – test
Ashley Smith (quad) – test

WESTERN BULLDOGS
Tim Callan (knee) – test
Ayce Cordy (shoulder) – TBA
Brad Johnson (groin) – test
Liam Picken (ankle) – 1-2 weeks
Shane Thorne (knee) – 10 weeks
Callan Ward (groin) – 2-3 weeks

It is around that time of year when people begin getting frustrated with theirs teams, and increasingly angry at late withdrawals and injury. Several people mentioned in the article below could well be injured and that is why they are getting the chop, but others could be simply getting the chop because they suck donkey nuts.

Jared Brennan– Is like the 10th beer that you have before you head out on the town. You know that it has the potential to make your night one to remember but at the same time, it could be that one that brings up the late night Kebab that you try to smash down on the cab ride home. Jared was ripe for the picking early in the year after 121, 119, 108 it definitely look like the one arm bandit was due to have a break out year. Now he has been suspended and now he has gone down with an injury but wasn’t it inevitable? Everybody that got him, you should have know that this would happen, build a bridge and get over it fellow DT coaches because I am in the same boat.
Options:Alan Didak ($392,800) Avg: 97 – Steve Johnson ($381,400) Avg: 92- Adam Goodes ($377,200) Avg: 88

Barry Hall – I know that this guy pops his head into my posts every week and if I chopped him as often as I say then he would be walking around with more cuts than your typical run of the mill EMO. He scored another dismal score of 42 on the weekend to take his average for the season up to a massive 65. This guy has not even gone over the $300k, in fact he has only gone up $1500. He has earnt that over 7 weeks, if I got paid $5 every time I got annoyed by the female commentator on Channel 10 then I would have earnt more than this boxer disguised as a footballer. Get rid of him…. You may as well have a rookie earning you coin.

Options – Anyone that is a whole lot cheaper and that can actually get a touch

Daniel Bradshaw – Ever watch ed a game of footy and thought I could do better than that guy, knowing really in the back of your head that you probably couldn’t. That didn’t happen to me on the weekend, I actually believe that 60% of the people in this great nation of ours could have done better than this fool. He avoided the pill like he was trying to trick his girlfriend into getting pregnant and after coming off his best game for the year he was a massive let down.

Options – Let’s face it, you shouldn’t have him. If you do, give yourself an uppercut, and let’s be honest, he’s not worth trading.

Justin Koshesh*tzme- Another one of my bitches, and another serial pest on the football field. It must have happened again… what happened Chop I hear you say…. Great question…. he must have either got high-fived in the face or head butted a team mate on the way off the bus. This guy was running around like he needed a seeing eye dog, and in all reality the dog could have quite possibly shown him up. You would think that with the Voldt out that this guy would step up to the plate like he has in the past. Step up Kozi or step out brother…..

Mark Seaby– Now I know that this guy has been my whipping boy this year and I am so glad that I didn’t get him in but I have a few mates (term used loosely) that do so I will mention him. What an incredible start that he got off to. Won the first ruck hit-out only to fail with the whole landing on the feet thing. Mark, we actually bow to you and thank you for finally giving us a solid reason to trade you out. Unlucky, but every cloud has a silver lining and this is it. At least now no dream team with have the Seabster in their team, and now I won’t have to sit there and listen to people whinge about his crap.
Options: Sandilands ($421k) avg – 102, Maric ($261k) avg – 71, Hille ($328k) avg – 84, Nic Nat ($269k) avg – 69 hehe

Barry Hall – A risk at the start of the year Barry hasn’t actually been that bad. But he was on the weekend. For someone that came off 98 last week he really did let his coaches down with a pathetic score of 43. I am totally aware that Barry was part of one of the worst games ever witnessed (didn’t see it myself, going off others reports) but seriously Barry, fire up and hit someone… just do something. Let’s face it, you’re not going to trade him so I won’t give you any options and expect the big gun to bounce back against the Dees this week.

Leon Davis–If you picked this guy up at the beginning of the year then you would not have been scoffed at by your mates and they may have even been as kind to say something like “nice pick, I was thinking about getting him”. No doubt now people are saying, “sucked in, why on earth would you have picked him?” I think that Leon got confused with the whole concept of giving on the weekend and was way too generous, giving away free kicks like it was some charitable act. Scoring only 35 points is a terrible thing for coaches that already have him, but a blessing for those that don’t… Would you be keen in Leon if he continues to drop. Let’s face it, he has dropped $115k already and looks to drop again… Maybe get on him

Lewis Jetta– I love a good rookie and they normally love DT, for the first few weeks anyway. But for some reason with these rookies they have a little timer ion their head when they think. “I’ve made my coach some money, now I’m just going to suck.” I’m afraid that Lewis has got to that stage. He has reached $205k but now has a break even of 45, which judging by last weeks performance is no certainty. 30, even from a rookie is not good enough… time to downgrade! Options?
Options: Troy Selwood ($214k) avg: 79, Ben Cunnington ($141k) avg: 42