The Sunday Knee-Jerk – Round 18

Since Dream team was so horrific this weekend, I’d like to take some time to touch on some local news. Did anyone hear of the hospital ward than ran out of beds? Oh hang on, no. That was just my Dream Team… Sooooo, how’s this weather! After going AWOL over the past couple of weeks, I’m glad to be back! Well in one sense I am. In another I have had to put up with a metric shit tonne of injuries, trade disasters and rubbish scores. Black Saturday will be forever burned into DT coaches minds, and no it did not take place solely in Victoria. I know you guys are never happy when you find out I actually do pretty well, however Christmas has arrived in the form of one angry knee-jerk! It could probably be summarized by saying anyone in the top 5k, you’re still in with a chance of catching me! It’s time to vent a spleen. It’s…Time…To… KNEE-JERK!

The Legends

Well amongst the ashes rises a phoenix. Or something like that. Dane Swan (163) is that phoenix. I missed out on his last monster oink, so I wasn’t planning on missing the GWS party. He got the smell of freshly sliced bacon early on and that was all he needed, he’s one guy who can hold his head high! Franklin (122) crawled out of his shell to thump Essendon as he does year in, year out. Wait a week before jumping on board. Lewis (118) has been on fire lately but also has the tendency to go cold. Something my players are very good at. Goldstein (137) and Minson (112) both posted monster scores, however their inconsistency can be no match for big KRUUUUUUUUZE (94). Sidebottom (143) looks a cracking differential at basement price, definitely take a look. I like what I see. Beams (130) was locked and loaded to be my trade next week, however the ridiculous amount of injuries this weekend may change a few plans. Whatever you do, make sure you do your best to get him in! I’m quite happy to take a spud donut in defence to make sure I get him. One of the few reliable players in DT, I needed him Round 1! The Selwood brothers did what they love to do, tackle. Joel (136) especially murdered it yet AGAIN, seriously begging the question why I chose a muppet over him. Scott (113) announced his return in style also. Liberatore (142) is a tackling machine, expect him to overtake Boyd as the Bulldog premo of the future. Finally Fyfe (128) is picking up pace prior to a cake walk run home for Freo. Watchlist! Am I missing someone? Apparently Harvey (125) did pretty well… again. Should have gone with the gut! Having said that, I’d rather see my team deleted than with Boomer in it. Moving on…

The Sunday Chops

Now what you’ve all been waiting for. Don’t worry, my axe is very much sharpened at the ready. It’s a pity you can only make 2 chops per week, because I’d say half my squad could be here. However none deserve it more than the shit truck that is Matthew Stokes (59). What kind of pathetic effort was that, making it 3 weeks in a row of scores 60’s or under! After being so consistent all year he has maintained that rating, only he’s now consistently shit. Close behind him is Jack Grimes (51). Missing persons were seriously stretched on the weekend, however none more so than on Saturday afternoon. Please enlighten me, Neil. Grimes is your captain, is he not? One of your best up and coming midfield talents. So why is he tagging? It clearly worked well, what a master stroke. 2 inside 50’s in the first quarter and a 122 point loss to the Kangas. Before I get dragged away kicking and screaming, I better touch on Terlich (-). I’m running out of superlatives to describe my frustration at this shit. Hanley, Goodes and Terlich in 2 weeks left me eating a donut. So what other options were there apart from The Grim. Ibbotson (56)? What happened to all that loose disposal across half back?! It’s like Lyon thought that Ibbotson was becoming a popular pick, time to swap his role with Johnson. Bring in Johnson this week, I dare you. Ross just toys with us. Then there was McKenzie (60). The so called “superboot” decided to become the super(shit)boot (Thankyou @CruttonHutton) as soon as he was pushing premium territory. Where do we turn to next?! Glass will be fresh of a break next week, with a BE of -4. He surely can’t do much worse than the current ‘popular’ options. Ok I’m taking a quick break.

And back. Taggers are the scum of the earth, but seriously Priddis (76). A 4 point third term was nothing short of pathetic. If you took the punt on trading in Daniher (14), take strength from the fact that Hitchcock still resides at my F8 position. I’ve always said, when you think things surely can’t get any worse… They will. Swallow (51) started it. He probably could have pushed 140 the way the Dees played in the second half, I feel you blokes who had him. Then those who finally decided to play Nicholls (25) over guys like Cox (102) and Minson (112) can take heart from the fact that… They didn’t lose over 100 points? I got nothing, that is the true definition of a piss take. My Saturday had been pretty fruitful (not) and Riewoldt (48) was not helping my cause. That was before he injured his foot, got subbed and will miss next week. I here by state that the DT gods are no longer with us and the devil has taken over. I apologise for my sin, Stanton (89). I knew it wasn’t right when I did it, however I feel the punishment was a little harsh. Apologies to all. Oh and West Coast can take home the cake for the biggest plunge since… West Coast in 2008. Good times!

The Clown

It’s been a while since I’ve had a personal clown entry, however over the past 2 weeks I have delivered in spades. Jack grimes. What was I smoking? Whatever it was I want to completely brainwash myself into never taking it again, if there was truly such a thing as a never again list his name would be permanently printed in capitals on the front page. So naturally I’ll pick him up again next season. Then I said, Joel Selwood. Averaged something ridiculous in his last 3, 120+ in 5 of his last 6. All my opponents have him… Let’s get Brent Stanton. Well done Matt, d*ckhead. What a clown!

What we’ve learnt?

  • 44 trades has not only improved DT numbers, it’s probably saved lives.
  • Things can change quickly. 2 weeks ago I thought my team was the dog’s balls, now I can’t bear to look at it.
  • DT should let you ban yourself from picking a certain player at the start of the season. Never again lists are as useful as a parachute in submarine.
  • So, Chris Masten looks a good option…
  • Next season Jack Grimes will be as welcome to my team as a pork chop in Jerusalem.
  • This is how I feel the DT gods are treating us…
  • I got reminded today that Morton was taken at pick 4. Four. No matter how bad your team is going, Melbourne can always make you feel better.
  • Taggers can take their place next to criminals in society.
  • Coaches like to make my defenders tag. Apparently it’s now a good idea to have your captain tag as well.
  • Answer these 2 questions. The defender you traded in this week – A. Was he sighted on the pitch? And B. Was he not injured? If you answered yes to any of the previous questions then you were better off than Jack Grimes.
  • Meanwhile, here’s a jumping goat.

This game sh*ts me

Jesus Christ. I forgot about this segment, what to say what to say… Injuries. Injuries ****ing sh*t me. I have had an insurmountable amount of injuries, donuts, everything this season. Donuts. There’s another thing that shits me. Get back from footy, go to check on Grimes and Terlich. Scroll down and can’t see them. Little did I know Grimes was last in the worst list of AFL players seen for 20 years, while Terlich was a late withdrawal. Late withdrawals… don’t get me started. And I swear to god if ONE PERSON SUGGESTS A ROLLING LOCKOUT it will be the last thing they ever say. Hmmm, angry enough? I dunno I seem pretty calm. Oh yeah, probably in the process of losing $500 from an impossible position. Now I’m angry. And that’s why this game shits me.

The other bits and pieces.

Soooo, what did I actually score? Consider this was mostly written on Saturday morning, and it was too gold to change. I was sitting on 1266 from 13, including 326 from one player. That’s almost impossibly bad with a full team of premiums. Not that you can call it that anymore. I ended up with 2157… Actually that’s just as shit. My injury tally has probably passed breaking point and I’ll need to pass Beamer in order to rescue my sinking ship. It’s been a good run, but it has come to an end. How did you guys fare? Surely better than me this week! And if not well I suggest you just walk away from the computer… We wouldn’t want anything nasty to happen. Nothing you would regret. You know what the delete team button does look really pretty this week……. No, I wouldn’t. Or would I? Yep, definitely time for me to take a break.

On another note, the English Premier League is building up for a new season. If you weren’t with us last season then join us over at fpladdicts.com. We’re packed with other DTTALK members and many more blokes just as addicted to fantasy as we are! So if you haven’t gotten amongst the biggest fantasy game in the world, do so now! We’ll be there to help! You know you want to… ;)

Anyway that’s it from me this week, hope you all enjoyed my shitness. Cheers!

If you enjoyed my raging and want a hittable punching bag when sh*t goes tits up, follow me on twitter @MattCraigDT. My views are honest, mostly helpful and occasionally entertaining! Also hit me up with any suggestions for who you thought were the Legends, Losers and Clowns, plus what you’ve learnt the past week. I value everyone’s opinion!

69 Comments

  • A great knee-jerk. Despite me being foolish and bringing in Mckenzie after reading “Trigger Happy” on Friday morning, I managed 2288

  • Good read Matt! Swallow, Grimes and Stokes cost me 3 league wins this week. Absolutely terrible week for me. I scored 2147 and still managed to get 2 wins this week.

  • well I don’t know how to say this matt… but I did worse than you! :O :'(

  • Yep I got 2120 and 2 league wins….I should count my blessings. I’d like to say cheers to Nicholls and Nick Riewoldt as well, as I had them on field.

  • you forgot riewoldt….

  • Keen for EPL season Matty!!

  • Great write up… I missed most of the carnage and got 2339, very happy. My trades were Enright in for Titchell, via hartett dpp to mid bench and Roughy for Mcdaffer, which wasnt huge success. Nroo shat me off as he came in for Buddy 2 weeks ago. Had Terlich cover with Saunders. Now the planning starts all over

  • love your work matt! from chwiis (dreamstats)

  • DT open

  • Nicholls 28
    Riewoldt 48

    plus I went Goodes>Tambling for cash and played Tambling at D6 – he had a ton last week. This week, green vest, on in last quarter, twenty fricken seven.

    Oh yeah and I threw caution to the wind and put the C on Cloke. Damn wind blew it right back into my face :(. 2124

  • Stokes, NRoo, Grimey and Nicholls… ugh.

    Treading water with my squad thanks to all these injuries. Well done to anyone managing to avoid it all!

  • ive got 2 luxury trades this week. i was just wondering if anybody could tell me players that could go big (slighty unique players eg; not swan!). was just wondering how to maximise my score

  • Stanton priddis or Mitchell to beams

  • I reversed my trades on Friday and forgot to put Cox in instead of Nicholls. That cost me 76 points and my first score above 2300. What knee jerk trade for Nicholls to cash up? Is Grundy likely to get another game? What about McBean?

    I hear what you are saying about Beams. Who would you choose between Fyfe and Mundy ( only 2.5% ownership)?

  • I want Beams next week, just do not know who to get rid of,
    Gaj,Swan, Pendles, Jelwood, Griffen, K Jack, Fyfe, Priddis (Hartlett, Hrovat) Priddis is logical but plays GCS at home, and i want Hartlett on bench as dpp. How bad in Nichols hurt please???

  • who to get rid of for beams?
    cotchin, jack, or stanton

  • Stanton heads back to the mcg for the first time in ages he’s had 142 114 144 there this year he had 114 against Collingwood last time. Jack clocks like getting some form back and rises to big games. So I think cotchin even though he came home strong last year he doesn’t seem convincing. So I would say cotchin

  • Who to get rid of for beams?
    Titchell, stanton, cotchin at the moment have gone titchell an have cotchin at mid 9

  • probably titchell

  • Worst weekly ranking since I started DT. The delete button is looking pretty good right about now.

    Who to dump? I don’t even know where to start.

    Ibbo (56), Cannon (60), Grimes (51), Pendles (74), Priddis (74), NRoo (48), Stokes (59), Staker (55).

  • Should I get rid of Nicholls and get gundy or get rid of lee and go to Mcbean

  • Best midfielder you would choose other than ablett swan and pendelbury?

  • scott selwoods return means priddis elite days are over. Ibbotson and stokes are severely testing my patience. Stanton, cornes, murphy can’t get close to a ton. stevie j captain. one shit week of DT for yours truly

    • Priddis got tagged because Masten went down injured, that’s why he scored badly. Actually had 18 disposals at half time and could have scored a lot more. Selwood not the issue at all, need Shuey back.

  • Trade or keep

    Stokes
    Titchell
    Fyfe
    Ibbo
    Terlich
    Nichols

  • Would you field Staker in order to get Beams or grab Buddy and then get Boyd or Scooter?

    • This is assuming Roo doesnt get up, or i can go him to cyril and stanton to Beams, next week ill get Jimmy or so and relegate Cyril to f7

  • By the way great job Matt so much carnage it was ridiculous.
    Despite Roo, Stokes, Ibbo, Eski and Pendles with Sj captain I still managed to move up in rankings to 223

  • Ohhh god! Firstly, your F**CKING SCORE! You have all this carnage and then Im like surely he gets under 2000, wait… What, 2-fucking-157! Yeah that’s Sh*t Matt, how do you think I felt trotting along nicely on 2087, huh? Thanks for making me feel better about myself!
    Secondly, that jumping goat video, 0:05 and 0:57, I leld quite a bit at that.

    • To get under 2000 in Round 18 with 44 trades would be a delete team effort haha

      • I went from 2329 in round 17 too 1953 in round 18
        With terlich, ball, Nichols, riewoldt, stokes as well as stevie j captain -_-

  • Entertaining as always Matt. Sure you’ll bounce back mate

  • Another terrible effort from Deledio, must go down as one of my worst trades 5 weeks ago. JPK once again decides not to try for a dismal 55.

    At least 5/6 of my defenders did well with scores all above 90. Probably would have been 6 if Hanley were fit, but Grimes stunk up the place.

    Cannot wait to see Deledio/JPK out of my team for good.

  • I really feel like my DT ‘curse’ is no longer just superstition.
    I traded in McKenzie this week and after several cynical predictions that he’d get his worst score for the season… he did!

    And like a true clown I let people talk me into trading out Buddy instead of my plan of dropping Bird at his peak price.. Yeah that went well, cost me 50 points and probably $30,000.

    Then there’s Stokes, who I brought in 4 weeks ago for three 60’s and a 0.. Brilliant.
    Throw in Pendlebury being unique the week he gets 74..
    Throw in Nicholls 25 with Maric on the bench..

    Terlich tried his hardest to bend me over too but luckily Clisby stood up with solid 70.

    2258, just 1 lousy point more than you Matt.

  • Hahahaha the stuff on Grimes, mint!

  • I traded in D Simpson and played him on the field instead of Nicholls and was pretty please with myself when Nick got taken off with 25 points. Then Simpson hurt himself for a massive 9 points. I lost my league match by 10 points! Predictor had me winning by 400 points. FMDT!

  • Should I bring in pendlebury or beams this week?

  • Great Knee-jerk.
    Any news on Nicholls and NRoo at this stage?

  • Well written Matt, took the words right out of my mouth.
    I wonder how many coaches traded Goldy out and played Nicholls, got sick of my Ruck bench (Nicholls Simpson) outscoring Cox Goldy by 50 or more points.
    So Goldy out McBean in Nicholls R2, we all know what happened. Down to 1 healthy ruck, wait Roughy in Fwds, hmm, Bartel on mid bench. Ahh great idea Simpson/Nicholls out Roughy to Ruck, Bartel fwd, welcome Beams&Griffen.
    Just to rub a bit more shit into my face, also traded in McKenzie in for Hanley, Ibbos great effort,& NRoo, Terlich, only saved by Clisby I know, my fault for trading Goldy out. But why the Fark can’t we do a three way sub/trade.
    Anyway back to the drawing board.