The Sunday arv knee-jerk. Round 5 edition


The Sunday arv knee-jerk. Round 5 edition

Right now my Dreamteam feels like a girlfriend and it’s ‘that’ time of the month…I’m doing a lot of giving, a lot of sucking up and helping out but all I’m getting back in return is shit and abuse (Birchall, Hargrave, Malceski, Smith, Porpus……..). It seems like no matter what I do it’s not the right answer, so I just have to walk on egg shells for a couple of weeks til the tornado passes over. It’s been a long week; there were 2 types of players this week… Those with Swan captain… And the unhappy ones. Those Swan people had five whole days to bask in that glory! While the unhappy ones had 5 days to try and find a player who could match it or minimise the damage while trying to stay firm and hold onto Ablett. So how did you fare? Was it all downhill from Wednesday or have you had a pearler? Let’s knee-jerk!

The Legend.

Obviously legend number one is Dane Swan; He put down the KFC for a few minutes to pump out a 171 which is no mean feat with greasy KFC fingers. He has been a must have fantasy player for a few years now but the doubters were starting to line up this season. There was the slow start last year… his podgy stature, rumours of a dislike for the coach and a poor first up game all of which had some people doubting his must have status. Personally I reckon he’s that good he just plays when he wants to now, he’s always out there laughing and joking, doesn’t seem to take it very seriously. If the game doesn’t mean a lot he doesn’t really turn up but when it does. I.E. ANZAC day… he comes to play! Can you really have a player who doesn’t get serious 100% of the time? Well 171pts probably says that you can… even his ‘off’ days are over 100. I guess it’s as you were for Swan and his band owners and more watching through the gaps in your hands for the rest of us.

 The Sunday chop.

First player getting close to a chop this week is one Matthew Kruezer (61) It’s not that he is playing badly… its just that HMAC (123) and Giles (89) are doing better, for a cheaper price. It’s probably too late to do anything about it now other than bench him and play Giles for a few weeks but i just want him to know he is on notice. Now to more pressing issues… Hmmmm ….Adzman strokes his beard and ponders wistfully…. What to do about the GWS situation? Last year we had GC and they played a similar team most of the year. Sure there were a few visits by the general but they were few and far between. This year with the GWS it seems Sheedy has a systematic plan for the resting of his kids, and it may or may not matter how well they are playing. Last week I predicted the general would visit Kennedy and he may need to be traded. But upon reflection if we go about trading every GWS kid who gets a rest we will be tradeless by round 10! We should actually be thankful that he is mainly resting them and not vesting them, because the vest would devastate their B.E and cash making abilities (ask Devon Smith).  As the OAK guy says ‘The vest is a state of weak indecision where you’re not just sitting on the bench its sitting on you and it’s laughing! …That’s how weak it is. The Vest won’t just hit the breakeven; it’ll kill the breakeven and dress inappropriately at the breakeven’s funeral.’ ….Looks like we should just be thankful they are being rested then! Thanks OAK guy for your words of wisdom.

The Clown.

I actually feel sorry for the first clown this week. I know what its like to be struggling for a game and finding the harder you try the more things go wrong….It’s John (please call me jack) Anthony. You could almost argue that his clown like traits were apparent way back when he got into a push and shove with Buddy Franklin at the pub because he took offence that buddy didn’t recognise him. It’s now been a few years since that incident and poor old Jack may well have played his last game of AFL football which will ironically take him back to not being recognised again….so he’s gone full circle! Anyhow there was a short period of the third quarter on Friday night when in the space of 5 minutes Jack had been caught holding the ball after trying to sidestep a man after a mark , he gave away a free kick for a big tackle on a man without the ball and then kicked way out on the full on a shot for goal. Ross the boss had seen enough…. i read his lips in the box, they said. ‘Fu*king get him off!’. I reckon that’s his last game of footy right there…. stuck on a measly 16 points in his last game. The other clown this week in my eyes is Andrew Raines. Last week he destroyed Abletts knee… this week he tags my other mid Joel Selwood (69) into the ground.. in the process antogonising him so much that Selwood smacks him… possibly earning himself weeks. On the bright side Raines punched back meaning he may not be around next week to perform the tri-tag of my mids… Watson could go free next week! phew.

The this game shits me.

I can handle a bit of bad luck, it’s just part of the game but this year I have not been able to nail one single bench or captain call. I can handle swings and round-a-bouts but I seem to be stuck on the same old shitty see-saw with no one on the other end.. I’m sick to death of playing the wrong defender out of Bugg, Morris or Ellis, I’m sick of playing the wrong player out of Magner, Shiel or MacDonald and I’m definitely sick of having Giles tons warming my bench. Further still If I Choose the wrong answer out of Smith, Hall and Kennedy again ill puke! I’d nearly rather have no bench cover so I don’t have to make the choice (and butcher it). Let’s not even begin on the captains. Meh… I reckon I have lost over 600 points already just in dud bench/captain calls alone…. And that’s why Dream team shits me.  (i haven’t even mentioned late omissions and clubs non transparency, that shits me too much for words.)

The other bits and pieces.

I got to thinking the other day.. are there any downsides to the new reverse trading system? Well i may have found one. Back in the day you would trade and forget about it…. but now you can pretty much change your mind up until lockout…. which means a lot of us don’t fully decide until 7 pm on a Friday night after subs and teams are complete. Whats the problem here? Well most people…(most normal people) finish work on Friday and head straight for the pub… and start pounding down the jars. You may have looked at your team all week and decided you wont trade because there is no one worth picking up…. but then the alcohol kicks in late! Its just like your fridge at home…. when you are sober all week you look in it and its like.. meh.. nothing in there. But when you get home drunk you look in there and you see many possibilities! mmmm cottage cheese, plum jam and a potato!.. and you eat it.. somehow. So what about your team.. there were no possibilities during the week.. the fridge was bare.. but come Friday night you have a last look after 7 pints and things look different! mmmm Whitecross.. how did i miss him? *trade* ….So whats the moral of this (rather lame) story? Trade BEFORE the pub.

OK that’s about it for this Sunday. To be honest the West Coast v Richmond game hasn’t even finished yet but i’m done for the week.. its sickening me, i don’t even want to look at another score, let alone mine. What knee-jerk thoughts do you have  about the round just past? Any nominations for Legend, Chop, Clown or why this game shits you? Vent now and get it all out before we get rational again for Tbettas bullets!

Hit me up with any thoughts/vents on twitter @adzman78



  • when does lockout end?

  • Ruthless trading here I come! Hurry up lock out.

    Take no prisioners

  • need a fwd rookie who should i be looking at?

  • Massive effort from Dangerfield helps me win my league game by just 43 points!!! HELL YEAH!! Scored 1978 with Boyd as Captain… oh and i picked a perfect 9 from 9 in the office tipping this week, so get the much needed bonus point as well… OHHHH YEAHHH!!!

    • I’m with ya mate, yeah DANGER! 10 point league win after Goddard for captain instead of Rocky, even the umpires tried to stop him but he came through in the last minute like a champ.

      Respectable (under the circumstances) 1936 for me

  • 1703 FMDT !!
    3 late withdrawl donuts and scattered shit scores !
    Only highlight was Captain on Swanny.
    Lest We Forget”” round should be changed to COMPLETELY forget !!

  • Doing my first upgrade target this week Rocky!

  • Let this be known forever more as the Gallipoli round.

  • My rant: WTF is with late withdrawals!? Fuck you Sanderson and Clarkson… If Bitchall and Hargrave weren’t right to play then dont name them FFS. First donut of the year thanks to you guys!

  • 1944 – 3 late withdrawls, one green vest and one red vest.
    Happy with my score considering I had 2 donuts.
    Lost to my wifes rude fat ass girl friend in my main league which I have won the last two years, I will not hear the end of it.
    Did manage to win 3 leagues though including Suns DT TALK.
    Was 3674 before this week, hope the ranking doesn’t suffer too much.

  • This should be known as the Dr.DreamTeam LMFAO Round in future….. I read your comments Warnie… what a wanker Dr.DreamTeam, just find the “Delete Team” button now and start again…

    Good Luck Dr.DreamTeam you need to get a new job and let the real DT Legends become the new Dr.DreamTeam…

    Thanks for the LMAO at your team selection Dr.DreamTeam you HACK !!!!

  • I THINK YOUR MISSING GODDARD? + tigers should of won on that push which jack should of marked goal game over. oh and i copped 2 0s and Godard and Selwood + so many more and got 1900

    • At least you didn’t name Goddard as captain like I did…

    • C’mon, jack was handed a goal for getting tackled by schoey! Sling tackle my ass….stupid decision if I ever did see one… But tigers were fantastice, they will take some big scalps this year and pressure the bottom half of the 8….

      • Exactly – there were that many free kicks and 50’s missed that should have been in favour of the Eagles how you can say that one “phantom” push on Jack lost the game? Eagles didn’t play to their best and the Tigers played very well but the more skillful side pulled out a close victory in the end.

  • So what does everyone think of Mummy—>Sandi & Birch—>Waters if it keeps going along like this

    • How long do u think Sandi and Waters will be out after you do these 2 trades?? ;-)

  • what fwd rookies shall i get

  • 1922 with no zero’s! got a couple of players wrong but porps out gave me Cameron EMG. lots of cash for upgrades, so will have a look later in the week.

  • worth going hale to martin?

  • how many trades should i have at this stage for a league win..? i do not think i have to trade this week…

    • you never had to trade – it is a weekly choice. there is no set number, you obviously want enough trades to cover injuries and then be able to account for resting etc during finals. get your team up to peak shape and then just maintain the beast!

  • Epic article Adzman, that OAK reference had me in tears! Only complaint I could possibly have about that is, how in the world are you going to top it next week?

  • Top article mate.

    I ended up trading Ablett out for Rocky instead of Swan. Was kicking myself by Wednesday afternoon but I’m at peace with that decision now. Can’t really complain about 136 even if 171 was on offer. With all of the late withdrawals (seriously, someone is going to get pregnant if this keeps up), I would have copped another donut using the loophole anyway and possibly less points in the counterfactual. So guess that worked out ok.

    Malceski was looking like the pick of a mad genius up until yesterday afternoon, now looking simply mad given his history. Anyone know if he was injured or just subbed on match form? Can’t find much online atm and didn’t see the game.

    Ellis and Morris are both very nearly at the point of an upgrade/downgrade proposition. Not seeing a lot worth downgrading to, though, and honestly not a lot worth upgrading to in defence either. At least Goddard will be very cheap soon and you wouldn’t think he’ll stink it up too often.

    And finally, I wish Horsley was a mid/fwd. Kennedy and Smith are quickly approaching cash-out time as well but both are stuck down forward after earlier trades. Magner Sheil McDonald quite comfortable in the mids and won’t be going anywhere for some time yet. Hopefully Zorko or Couch will get a game eventually. At this point, even if Horsley raises hit bat again next week with another hundred, I may have let him pass me by as well.

    • In a very similar position.

      At the start of the year my strategy was to trade out 2 rooks on each line and bring in/upgrade to 2 premiums.

      Its starting to look like I might need to keep all my rookie defenders though as theres no decent upgrade targets and turn the midrooks over twice instead of once. So Bugg and Ellis become keepers with 2 of either Hargrave, Golby, Clarke and Geary being upgraded and 2 of them being kept. The hard part is deciding which 2 to keep. Leaning towards keeping Hargrave and Geary at this stage, but only just.

  • Who should I trade out mummy 4 I copped a donut.

  • Who should I trade out caddy for Iv got some loose change so I might go barlow

  • could Giles become a keeper?????

    • if he keeps pulling these type of scores i definitely will be and upgrade in other areas

    • Totally
      Currently Giles is averaging 87.2, just slightly less than Cox and Jacobs who are averaging 88.0 and 88.4 respectively.
      They’re the numbers of a potential keeper

  • Just compared my side to Ridley’s

    Showing the differences only:

    Ridley (Ranked 44th)

    D: Scotland, Waters, Duffield
    M: Pendles, Thompson, Caddy, Zorko
    R: Stephensen
    F: Robinson, Chapman, Fyfe, Hall

    Me (Ranked 7155th)

    D: Broughton, Geary, Birchall
    M: Boyd, Mitchell, Magner, McDonald
    R: Hale
    F: Sidebottom, Goodes, Porplyzia, Milera

    255k in the bank atm

    I guess its time to start upgrading

  • 20 trades left. i am happy with all my rookies except smedts and paine… but there is nobody to replace them with.
    anyway what are peoples thoughts on trading hale to martin? hale is really inconsistent and martin is starting to find form