The Never Again List

The never again list….. It’s the mythical place that comes flying out of your mouth any time your player gets injured or does something stupid. But who’s actually on the list? and how does the list work? Well that’s what I am going to nut out right here.

The never again list is a little bit like the little black book that you have containing the names and numbers of all your ex-girlfriends. (Stick with me on this) Obviously you found something attractive in each of these girls but somewhere along the line they did something to become the ‘ex’.

Now you know and I know that the first break up never takes, the first time you get pissed you go straight to the phone and call up for a booty call. Why? Well you’ve been there, you know the terrain and crucially you know this person puts out! Usually it’s not until the third booty call when you realise their breath still stinks and that you  don’t actually like this person any more….. and you won’t be going back there again…. Ever.

So how does this relate to DT players? Well if a player has made your never again list they have obviously been in your team before, because they have something to give….they have pissed you off once but the first break up won’t take! The next year you will be tempted for the booty call… They will be cheap and you know they can put out the points….. It won’t be until the third time they kill you that you say right! NEVER again.

So anyway as we know all of these players are so frustrating because they all have untapped point scoring potential….but they all have a major flaw. Some of the flaws can be fixed, others can’t.  They come into a few categories, two being The brain fart & The injury curse.

The brain fart list.

This list contains the players that have unlimited talent but just continue to have brain farts that either get them suspended or in trouble. These are the most frustrating of listers because every year they do rehab and we are told they are smarter now… but buyer beware… Leopards don’t change their spots.

Who’s on the list?

Heath Shaw

Dan Connors

Alan Didak

The injury curse.

This list contains the guys that have bodies made up of a composite of these materials; balsa, plasticine, crepe paper, glass, butter. Some may just have soft bodies; others may just put themselves into bad places on a footy field.

Who’s on the list?

Chris Knights

Josh Drummond

Jonathon Brown

Jack Grimes

Colin Sylvia

Hamish Hartlett

Shaun Higgins

Mark Seaby

They are the main 2 lists but there are other smaller sub lists.

There is the list of players that continually change their roles in the team which changes their points output when you need them most.

Who’s on the list?

Paul Duffield

Greg Broughton

Jed Adcock

Andrew Carazzo

There are the players that are touted as the next Chris Judd but only end up being the first Shaun Atley (thanks @hawker68)

Of course many of these names may only have burnt you once or twice so are still inline to make your team for a final booty call….. if so.. good luck!

The names of players who have burnt me once but are still not on the never again list are;

Beau Waters

Cyril Rioli

Jobe Watson

Matthew Kruezer.

Finally there is a final little area of the never again list that is most personal to each and every person. It is a deep dark corner that you place a player never again to be touched because they burnt you once and you got so angry with them that you put them away for good on emotion. They may have cost you a final… or a bet…..or a win against a mate… they will cost you big points over the years but pride won’t allow you to take them again.

So that’s about it for this rather long winded diatribe about the never again list…. Have I missed any? Who’s on yours???

TWEET ME: @adzman78

23 Comments

  • I had Robbie Gray last year as a potential smokey and by mid-season I’d declared, never again. Traded him out by something close to round 12, from memory.

    And yet, there he is smiling at me while sitting smugly there at F5.

    Please don’t hurt me again Robbie, I just want to see you shine.

    • 124 DT points today. Could be worth it.

      • Sorry, wrong Robbie.

        • Nahas? Lol, yeah. I had him last year too but don’t regret that at all. Not for me this year, though.

          Gray scored 116 last night to cement his spot. Hopefully won’t regret it again!

  • Chris Masten’s burned me twice but good gravy he’s got some potential. hoping for an injury free year (yeah right)

    • Forgot Injury if he keeps a footy in his mitts instead of a mirror it will compliment his running ability and not his hair

  • Nab cup superstars could have been another list. Andrejs Everitt I’m looking at you!!!

  • Andrejes Everitt

  • Good….. no Porps in your, “The injury curse” list, so I will leave him locked, along with vacuum headed Heath. :-0
    Another top job Adz, thanks……

  • Higgins is the one for me. Never again!

  • All of us know this…
    You have picked your 12/13 premiums with no inner debate.
    Pick 2/3 more, Rioli, Higgins, Grimes, Brown, Masten, Armstrong…played great in the preseason, great price..nice discount, fit as. They will be right this year!
    I have 15 keepers..great team!

    Then comes the season…

  • Lake for positional change!!!!!

  • I think we need an article on the “they play for that team I hate but I must pick them anyway” list.

    Yes Dangerfield I’m looking at you.

  • I have fond memories of Higgins. Picked him up for 209,000 in my first year of DT and he averaged about 90 and played about 18games.

  • Patrick ‘breakout year/increased midfield time’ Dangerfield. Gee his pre-season form has been great though…

  • Daniel Kerr should slip into the injury list. Always has a discounted price, could be awesome if he ever played a full season! Can’t believe out of a possible 10 hes only played 1 full season!!

  • Funny stuff @adzman! You had me and my mates pissing ourselves laughing about Atley. It’s funny how we take these things personally. After Atley and Cam Richardson never again will I jump on a North Melb rookie. Gibson could be really good this year but no, never again!
    I’ve had Rioli for the last three years and whilst he isn’t quite on the never again list he is on the wait and see list!
    Thanks for the laugh!

  • Adzman that was a great write up… love the ex girlfriend comparison to a player that burnt you before… “Usually it’s not until the third booty call when you realise their breath still stinks and that you don’t actually like this person any more….. and you won’t be going back there again…. Ever.”

    Waters, Watson and JBrown for me.

  • No Bartel or Montagna or Astbury or Higgins or Krakouer for me again. Sylvia very close to that list but may be a viable late season upgrade this year.

  • Whenever my missus sees anyone in a Melbourne uniform she asks ‘is that colin fukn Sylvia?’
    because I ranted about him for about four weeks last season. A bloody ginger demon… NEVER!