The Real DT Studs Team

Hi from Dream Team Girl. Dream Team’s alright with me, Dream Team’s alright… oh yeah!

This year I’m putting some studious preseason research to see if I can get an edge over other Dream Team coaches. With all the reference to “DT Studs”, I decided to firstly get some clear definitions to assist in assembling my “Real Dream Team Studs Team” this year.

I consulted the “Urban Dictionary” for definitions of the terms  “DREAM”, “TEAM”  &  “STUD.

DREAM:-  “Sexy Man” (Definition # 15)

TEAM:- “You’ve got to look at the guy next to you, look into his eyes. Now I think your going to see a guy who will go that inch with you. Your gonna see a guy who will sacrifice himself for his team, because he knows when it comes down to it your gonna do the same for him. That’s the definition of a Team, and either we live as a team, or we die as individuals. That’s life my friends” (Definition # 8 )

STUD:- “A guy who is very strong, handsome, buff and/or athletic: a handsome young jock.” (Definition # 17.1) or “someone who exemplifies studliness and is just a plain stud.” (Definition # 15)

So with these elaborative definitions in mind, I hereby present my Real Dream Team Studs Team for 2012, complete with photographic evidence.

The REAL STUDS TEAM

BACKS

Andrew Mackie, Geelong ($392,300)
Premiership player last year. Priced at his DT Average of 79 in 2011, down on his 2010 average of 87.9. Boyish good looks. A firm favourite.  Enough said

Nick Duigan, Carlton ($336,600)
A mature defender with a Masters degree in Psychology. This guy has the brains and the brawn. Great arms too.
Starred in his first DT year in 2010. Unfortunately has had preseason injury problems and has undergone minor surgery to remove some cartilage from his knee. Hopefully his body holds up, because DT Girl wants to see more of this hottie out on the field.

Josh Gibson, Hawthorn ($328,700)
DT average of 66 last season, due in large to his player role. Not a big DT scorer, but with that body, who cares? He gets a spot on my team anytime. Love the way he plays.

Maverick Weller, Gold Coast ($247,300)          Top Gun. This guy even has the Stud Name. Some pre-season controversy after apparently being detained by Thailand police along with Stud veteran Campbell Brown over involvement in a punch up on the full-moon party island of Ko Phangan. Cinderella Weller should have been home at midnight.

Chris Tarrant, Collingwood  ($184,300)
Despite a DT average 37 in 2011, he is the first defender picked in my Dream Team Studs team. Unfortunately, his position as a KPD at full back affects his DT output. Superb physique. Best arms in the AFL. Cute head too.

Nathan Brown, Collingwood ($120,200)
The third “Nathan Brown” to play in the AFL. (Former Western Bulldog and Richmond player Nathan Brown was also a serious stud, just quietly) Nathan is back in full training after overcoming two separate knee injuries in the past two seasons. Looks fresh! Hard to split this stud with his twin Mitch at West Coast for a spot in my backline.

Lee Spurr, Fremantle ($107,800)
“Hot Spurr” is a mature age pick who looks to have the goods. Arguably one of the most talented players in SANFL last year. Dominated in SANFL Grand Final. Named on a wing in SANFL team of year. Currently rookie listed at Freo. Hope to see him elevated!

Michael Talia, Adelaide ($98,700)
Looks like he goes alright. He’s alright with me. Named at Full Back 2011 U 18 All Australian side.  Probably won’t be a high DT scorer, but fine eye candy all the same.

Campbell Heath, Sydney ($98,700)
A picture paints a thousands words. Check it out. Washboard Abs. Built like a man and seems ready to play.

MIDFIELDERS

Dane Swan, Collingwood ($598,300)
Perhaps the best Dream Teamer ever. Still a must-have. One for the tatt-lovers.  My pick for DT stud captain.

Marc Murphy, Carlton ($551,300)
Boyish good looks and squeaky clean image get Marc a spot on the stud team. Oh, he can play good footy too.

Joel Selwood, Geelong ($540,600)
Again with the boyish looks. May look like a boy but plays like a man. Priced well this season. Set to rise to the occasion as Club Captain in 2012.

Scott Thompson, Adelaide ($538,500)
Holds the title as the hardest man in the City of Churches. Got the best torso in the league and wears his jumper tighter than anyone in the game  Will never let you down.

Andrew Swallow, North Melbourne ($491,500)
DT stud in a DT dud team. Sure, he plays in an average team, but the cream will always rise to the top. New club captain for 2012.

Hayden Jolly, Gold Coast ($250,00)
Lolly. This guy’s got a sweet rig. This Adelaide-raised hottie is a graduate of the AIS/AFL Academy. Apparently a very good volleyballer too.

Chad Wingard, Port Adelaide ($157,200)
Exciting youngster. Taken at No 6 at last year’s AFL Draft and should slot in very nicely thankyou.

Dylan Shiel, Greater Western Sydney ($104,200)
The one Giant you just need to pick. DT average of 96 last season in NEAFL. Easy on the eye too.

RUCKS

Shaun Hampson, Carlton ($260,000)
This one gets the Supermodel vote. Picks himself really.

Ivan Maric, Richmond ($262,700)
With the move to a new club, the big Croat could lift this year!

Mike Pyke, Sydney ($193,900)
This Canadian former professional rugby  union player was  the first international sportsperson in VFL/AFL history drafted from a non-Irish sport. This Canuck is worthy of stud status.

Majak Daw, North Melbourne ($104,200)
Ripped! Stud potential here. This Sudanese Cheese has been a naughty boy out on the town.

FORWARDS

Tom Hawkins, Geelong ($303,400)
“The Tomahawk” is the prettiest of them all. He even pulls his socks down to maximise exposure of those great legs. Dominated in last years Grand Final scoring 101 DT points. Will he finally rise up to his potential? Keen to watch him in 2012.

Lance Franklin, Hawthorn ($503,000)
What can you say? Wonderful to watch in full flight bouncing the ball down the wing. Love how he struts around in his footy shorts. Does it all really.

Matthew Pavlich, Fremantle ($466,200)
The Pav-Lova is a  favourite with the ladies from the West. How will new coach Lyon’s game plan affect the big Pav’s output? Quads like tree trunks. Can kick the ball long. But does this Super boot have a Super flute?

Mark Le Cras, West Coast ($426,400)
Oohh Aahh Mark Le Cras. A Guaranteed performer.

Dustin Martin, Richmond ($442,500)
Hubba Bubba Ra Ra! A forward/ midfielder dual position player ready to explode. Apparently those neck tatts are a tribute to his Maori heritage. “Ngati Maru” on the right side of his neck is the name of his bloodline tribe and ‘Matai Whetu’ on the left, is the meeting place of the tribe. He and  his Dad both have an identical tattoo, “Live Free Die Free” across their torsos.

Bryce Retzlaff, Brisbane ($172,700)
This strongly built lad has bulked up pre season. He stands at 195cm and now weighs in at 95kg, after weighing 86kg at the beginning of the 2011 season.  Named at CHF QAFL team of year 2010.

Levi Casboult, Carlton ($104,200)
Oohh Yeah. Rock The Caboult!! Can he leave the fallout from the controversial Booze Cruise incident behind him, and elevate himself to the starting 22 in 2012? DT girl hopes so.

Lewis Johnston, Adelaide ($158,300)
Centre-half Forward in the 2008 All-Australian Under 18 team. After 3 years at Sydney battling foot and hip injuries, he finds himself presented with new opportunities after being traded back to his home state Adelaide. Judging by this pic, he deserves every chance in DT Girl’s team.

Jarryd Lyons, Adelaide ($104,200)
Fresh meat! Looking forward to seeing this lad flex his muscle. His Dad Marty played for Melbourne.

Apologies must go to the Studs who I could not fit in because of Salary Cap restrictions, including Angus Monfries, Campbell Brown, Jude Bolton, Ryan O’Keefe, Chris Knights, Cameron Ling (just jokes!), Aaron Edwards and Trent Cotchin.

DT Girl.

99 Comments

  • Can’t believe so many knob jockeys are getting worked up about this piss take post that is good for a laugh looking at the other side of the fence.

    Personally I think you are all a bit dirty as this article has now prompted you to finally go to bunnings for a new door handle so you can come out of the closet.

  • Please do not do this again.

  • What about the dud team. Those who are ugly, I know the captain and driving force Cameron Ling has retired and see how it’s Valentine’s Day and the ugly players need love too. Bring on the dud’s.

    • Shame Ashley Sampi and Fraser Gehrig aren’t around any more.. They could team up with Lingy and have a GWS style 3 skipper approach this year.

  • Where’s Aaron Sandilands, DT Girl?, he does wear size 18’s if you know what I mean ;)

  • Lighten up everyone, it’s a funny article. Besides, it’s not like all she does is fantasize, she actually does discuss their ability and/or potential. It’s actually not a bad side anyway.
    And in what way is it sexist? If one of the boys were to write this, they’d get a bunch of homophobes jumping on to comment on how ‘gay’ he is.
    It’s the 21st century, and it’s sexist to assume that the guys want girls to be viewed as shallow airheads who know nothing about AFL. If anything, it shows that DTGirl has a fair depth of knowledge when it comes to players, and that she doesn’t mind making a joke.
    Everyone should just take a deep breath and appreciate the fact that this article is funny.