The Knee-Jerk: Round 14

This weeks knee-jerk starts with a bombshell; I’ll never come out and say I’m the best DT’er there is, sure I’ve come in the top 300 the past few years but I’d expect no less for the amount of hours I put in. But there is one thing holding me back, one thing keeping me b-grade instead of elite. I’m addicted to trading. There I said it! (That should keep the 10 step recovery people happy) To all my mates who say I’m stuffed because I’ve burnt too many trades but I always cockily reassure that I’ve got a plan…well… I don’t! I’m like a kid; I see and I want, I want the best team now! Not round 18…so there you have it, I’ve just bared my soul…but surely I’m not the only one with this sickness?


Jobe Watson (33)

Watson’s body is letting him down; if he’s in your side he needs to be out quicker than a drunken Warne Dawg out of the Crown Casino handcuffed. Do it now, don’t wait for Friday. Purge!

Shaun Higgins (53)

Higgins has gone cold again, colder than that last chip you find in the bottom of your McDonalds bag after your burger is finished. One would suspect he is sore in some way but I have no idea where we would get a crazy notion like that from

Alan Didak (26)

Although he was injured and subbed he still didn’t look like a player in form. No point selling now because you’d only get a cold half-eaten pie as a trade value.



A lot of noise has been made in DT circles about the hawks this year…more noise than the garbo makes under your front window at 5am. It’s hard to know who to add here so I’ll just use the ones who have a name starting with S. Smith (138), Shiels (134), Savage (128), Suckling (126), Sammy (128)….it’s a shame I couldn’t add Birchall but I could go on forever if I start. This team is a DT slut machine.

Gary Ablett (118)

For the first time I actually studied Boyd today; gee he is an average footballer, just like Swan, if there were prizes for tumble punts he’d be right up there. But of course he is DT gold; I have gone with Ablett today because the guy in my eyes has just rubber stamped champion status. He is not only DT gold but a joy to watch.

Dane Swan (125)

After what I just said I have to add this…He’s back and he sure did look fresher and full of life. Was it the drugs? Was it the high altitude? Or was it just a couple of weeks off and a recharge?. Whatever the reason it looks like we have our DT Swan back.

Other news

Grass is greener

They say you never really know somebody until you’ve lived with them. I’d never have guessed my missus could be annoying but now even the sound of her brushing her teeth sounds like someone scraping the barnacles off the side of a ship to me. But before we lived together I thought she had no faults. It’s the same in DT. I have admired Boyd’s scores from a far for many years but had never owned him, until this week. Well I can say that I’m not a fan already! Give me back Selwood any day! I love a player who is in everything all the time and on the TV every frame, not this player who I never see but just accumulates behind the scenes. Boydy, if you want to be my cup of tea please get amongst it this week and do something flashy, or dye your hair.

Plate spinner

There are loads of things in life that go out of fashion, one of them is plate spinning; it used to be huge at the circus back in the day but it’s gone the way of the bearded lady and gratuitous abuse of animals. The new millenniums form of plate spinning is DT. You are running from side to side tending to issues before they flare, then running the other way to get to another before it’s too late. Heppell is leaking money! Quick trade, woops Selwood got a 4 weeker, needs work, woops Isaac Smith is on the bubble, must get…woops, Collingwoods bye, need cover…woops, Sandi still out, what to do, woops Adcock 4 weeks, needs attention… while you are running from side to side spinning the sticks to keep the plates up you are making rash decisions just to keep things going. Bugger it, I’ll just let a few plates fall and turn it into a comedy act.

Cop out

This years changed rules have bred a new DT culture; overall vs. league is the buzz term this year. But it’s a cop out! Generally they aren’t mutually exclusive, if you play well both should take care of themselves.  Whenever I see somebody in the forum saying they are playing for the league only my mind always thinks it’s because he has rooted up and lost sight of the car. Lets be honest, everyone starts out hoping for the car then readjust their goals when they find out they are rubbish. It’s a sneaky way of accepting mediocrity; like being a big fish in your small league pond. With all this being said I’m about to put my cue in the rack…go for the league win, the 2000 spot mountain is too far for me to climb, but I’m not going to lie and say I was never going for overall!

Your dumped.

DT is fickle. When a cow is in your team they are like family, you follow all their fortunes, check how they are training – their average, their kick to handball ratio. You couldn’t take any more interest! Then he reaches maturity and needs to be traded out, he’s off and out of your life! Like dumping a GF and changing your number, never to receive another call. What’s his average now? how many kicks last week? Who cares! I don’t know you; you’re a stranger to me now. Heppell was a good one this year; when he was performing he was everyone’s 7th back keeper, then the tipping point came… some people got sentimental and kept him, those people are now cursing. Some people loved him and left him – they are now smiling. Don’t get soft people! Cull who needs to be culled, its dog eat dog out there.

So that’s it for this week…I’m eating a nice purple glazed donut thanks to Mzungu….unless Harper makes a late bid for a game tomorrow. Looks like a good scoring week anyway.

Any other knee-jerks out there?


  • You’re not the only one mate, 4 trades to go!

  • Three trades to go but my team is very healthy at the moment.

  • Had Watson, Rioli and Didak – I actually don’t even care anymore, would say im going for league but im doing shithouse in them too!

    Bring on ESPN NBA fantasy! Least you get unlimited trades and players have 82 games to make up for a shitty performance.

  • Picking up Cyril Rioli and Shaun Higgins at the start of the year was not smart at all, as they have both been nothing but headaches this year. I won’t go near Higgins again, and Rioli needs to work out his hamstring!

    Also, Dane Swan is also back to his 2010 self, plus a few tattoos, after his Arizona fat camp.

  • First donut for the year with Bartel on my field, and Mzungu as emergency. Other than that, a great round so far with Suckling, Mitchell, Boyd, Swan, O’Keefe, Cloke, Broughton, Pav, etc. even Josh Fraser put in an effort! :-D

  • Some of the great analogies in these articles, so much truth too.

    Piss funny.

  • This week… Cash: 121k

    Kraukeour>????? ( Was going to be Didak but Fuck him)



  • love this article, this and tbetta bullets are my two favourites.

    Although I have to say that league and overall are completely different. Few points to illustrate that:

    If going for overall I would:
    – go into the last 4 weeks with maybe one or two trades with good cover. Trades used early in the season make points each week; ie two grandfinal trades would maybe make you 100 points, where two trades early in the year could make you 50 points each week, 800 – 1000 total.
    – have plenty of carlton players; scotland, gibbs and carrazzo in the backs, murphy in the middle. Would look at walker up forward.
    – have my team finished as soon as possible.

    Going for league I would:
    – save at least six trades for rounds 21-24
    – avoid all carlton, essendon, geelong, north melbourne players (except gibbs, and a couple of cats if you back yourself to win top four)
    – finish my team later in the year, waiting for that extra 20k in each cash cow. as long as you are winning league matchups there is no need to rush your team completion
    – Sit on injured players for longer periods – eg selwood and sandi.

    • true!

      there are deff different strategies, this year more than ever

    • oh!!!
      so I’m an overall player…and i dodn’t know it. :-D
      Now I have a good excuse for being a completely hopeless, trade loving DT nut.
      i have 2 trades team is ok I guess.
      Much better at Super coach..but this is my 2nd hopefully much better next year.

      ps. Does a site as good, and funny as this exist in SC land?

  • I like the knee jerk. But it is fair to talk overall or league IMO. I have never been out of the top 2K and have done the best I can to get the best overall score prior to the last couple of weeks. Once you get to the point that you have sub 10 trades left you need to realise that if you keep pushing you will at best be top 5000 if you don’t put on the brakes. If you are not top 250 now you have zero chance of getting the car. If you think you do you have are dreaming.

    If you have done well and you realise this you will be a good shot at taking out your league because of all the people still chasing the unrealistic dream of a high finish forgetting that this year there are 2 extra games for the year and the introduction of byes.

    I look forward to seeing Warnie, Roy and Calvin running over the top of the majority towards the end of the season because they know to resist the urge of the desperate trade.

    No point being in the top 2K now with less than 8 trades left because you will be left for dead in the last weeks of the season.

    Time will tell but in the carnage of the last few weeks I wish I could double the 9 trades I have left because I think they will be needed.

    • you make good points!

      theres only one car to win…. i’m right in that area you speak of. i guess i was talking about people in round 3 -4 who quickly say ‘i was only ever going for the league’

      but more i think about it alot of people have lots of money on leagues so i guess a lot of people have the league as their only priority.

  • with 5 trades left is it worth trading Watson this week?

    • Absolutely it is. Especially if you think your a shot at the final. He will be out for another 3 weeks id say then take another few to possibly get back into things. Absolutely 100% ditch him now.

  • I think Sandilands should be number 1 one shocker. Out for a month comes back gets 47 then has another month off. I feel for those that held onto him. I LMFAO at those who called me stupid for trading him out. LMAO

    • i was hanging on the smith to sandi next week…. was wondering if it was sideways or not..

      i guess i know now.

      keep smith or punt on another star ruck ?

      • Thats the million dollar question. Alot of people were banking on Sandi coming back in and giving them an advantage over those that traded. I think i will just get a new forward upgrade and move Petrie to the ruck permanently. Zac Smith for cover. For alot of teams i think Zac Smith will now be the permanent ruckman.

    • Sandi going down this week really is a worst case outcome.

      Cox has bye next week – lots of sides with Cox + Sandi will not have 2 other playable ruck options. Would have been better for DT coaches for Freo to give Sandi another week to heal – next week was the critical one.

      Not only was Sandi’s 47 worse than many coaches’ third ruck option, but it will also lose Sandi about $30k value on the trade table. So to trade him out now may actually cost money to get another premo ruck.

      McEvoy is probably the best option, has had 2 byes, and will not miss finals, but it will probably be a slight upgrade now.

      My Ruck division was already over capitalised, holding over 13% of my money. I am trying to get cash out of there not put more in.

      Bringing across Petrie was always a Plan C to cover rucks for many coaches. But with Knights, Darling and both Riewoldts falling away not many Forward lines are strong enough to be able to release Petrie now.

      Fyfe Mandatory Dream Teamer

      • I think the DT Gods have given me a sign. Lobbe is on my bench for the dpp with Petrie and he is killing it against North my saviour may have arrived.

  • As a mate of the author, I can assure everyone the trading addiction mentioned above is genuine (and quite sad) A potentially top class DT’er crippled by trading impulses he can’t control. Birchall and Callinan both new to your side this week Adz? Oh Dear, how many trades left now? I think i know the answer but won’t say here out of respect for your privacy.

  • Adzman you are a funny bastard….

    I look forward to this article most every week…. I piss myself everytime!

  • My team was going alright this round until my newly added Rioli and Didak decided to get shit scores thanks to being subbed after injuries fmdt

  • Going with theory that your missus doesn’t read this column?

    • nah she hates DT… wouldnt know this place existed!

      shes quite tall..i once told her she looks like an emu when she runs……she has never ran infront of me since..we have missed many a bus.

      but i told her about the barnicle thing..she just laughed, and now she brushes even louder

  • Adzmaan, what a ripper article!

    And yes, you’re not alone, my mulit-bye sideways trading theory at the start of the year became the start of a very bad plate spinning habbit and now i’ve only got one trade left. Having said the upgrading Prestia to Cloke paid off this week :-)

    I am happy to say I’m not a copout yet… but with a shortage of trades i can’t go for league anyway, you are right we all start the year with hopes for the car.

    Well done, I always enjoy your articles.

    • cheers mate

      that multi bye trading caught many a person out

      i didnt go for it, i just used my trades on too many shit starting players..palmer anyone?

      • Agree boys, think the multi-bye extra trading was dangerous as DT has always been very tight on trades.
        I didn’t go for it and just opted to spread my team evenly to avoid zeros and have riden the poor form of some premiums along the way!!!

        Great read as always Adz, love the fact that you relate DT to real life scenarios!!!

  • Another Ripping article Adz.

    Given that I had Watson as Captain (thinking that the 6am drug tests would have Swan dozing by Half time – what a furphy those tweets turned out to be – DT espionage at it finest) – I am ashamed to admit now I can no longer go for a win in my League. It’s the car only for me now….possibly the one to be discarded by the winner of the Toyota – pending the right offer.

    To add insult to injury (pun intended) a very close relative who is knocking on the door of the top 300, had 7 premium mids to chose from, left Swan on the bench and kept Watson in the team.

    How it is that people from the same lineage think the same when it comes to DT ?

    Jobie 1CunOB must join Heath Shaw and Higgins in the “Never to be Selected Again” file.

    You are spot on about Boyd too – I’ve been watching him closely each week for the last 4. He gets the same number of QUALITY possessions each week – sometimes that means 70 or 80 whilst other times het somehow gets 130+. I’m convinced he has a random number generator attached to his DT stats recorder.

    I swear against Hawthorn he got 3 possesions and a couple of tackles in the 3rd quarter and they gave him 44 for the quarter.

    Too bad I no longer have the cash to to swap him in for the dud captain.

    • You must have an amazing side to have Swan or Watson as your 7th mid!!!!!!! Or a lot of holes forward & back to fill yet………

  • Probably the n00biest thing I have done: I put Pavlich on the bench thinking he was out for some stupid reason :\

  • sandilands>Coxy?????????

    Thoughts???? (Plus I know they have bye next round)

    • yep or petrie

    • sandi to cox

      • im going J. Tippett, Put Petrie in the rucks next week to cover Coxy and then Zac Smith for the rest of the year while putting a nice $280k in my bank for the finals, Lobbe looked good today for Port (scored 95)…only $126k…dpp too.

  • Will Chappy come back on??????

  • Hawthawn are about the only good scores ive had all weekend

  • What happened to Sandilands?

    • Stubbed his toe on the ground.

      NASA are comparing it to the Barringer Crater in Arizona.

  • ….and harper gets the late call up! no purple donut….. but still a sub vest.

    mauling Dr DT this week…. hack.

  • Who should I get for Watson? Swan or Shiels? Also, does anyone know how long Rioli is out for?

  • Just checking but if I have three doughnuts FWD, MID & DEF and have adequate playing emergencies for each, do I get all three scores or just one?

  • mint cheers :P

  • Ok so i know a lot of people are asking similar questions, but what do i do with sandi???

    I have Cox, Sandi, ZSmith, McCauley…

    Option 1 – Do nothing, cop a donut and hope Sandi still provides the edge in finals, i have a tough league match in money league, but i am top of the ladder so will finish top four as long as i win one more league game as have only lost one to date…
    Option 2 – Trade Sandi to a cheap ruck say Bailey or other and bank some money or even a donut ruck but then no cover….
    Option 3 – Trade to say Jolly and bank a hundred k, then come finals drop smith for cash…

    This is my first year DT, and i actually never planned on winning car, only wanted to make the finals in league and learn for next year, however looking like a fair shot at a first 3 place in league…. I only have 6 trades left, and have learnt that next year i will try and resist the urge of trading as i too am an addict!

    Sorry for long post, but i appreciate advice from anyone who made it this far…

  • Many options I’m sure but one little one to consider is trade Sandi down to say Lobbe (P.A) and someone else in your fwds to up to Petrie .. will waste two trades i know but least you will have DPP cover each week.

    I’m in the same boat this week considering the same trades myself.. Don’t want to waste when I have so little left… my precious 6

  • Hi guys, need some help.

    Need to upgrade one of my backs.

    Out of Stanley and Lower who will be the better option as my 1st reserve?

    • same predicament, i’m thinking of keeping stanley on the field, and hibberd & puopolo as cover… Lower will become Shaw or Suckling.

      Reason i’m keeping Stanley – I think he will average more, not to concerned about bye for Lower as league bye, but may be a consideration for you…

    • I have Sandi, Cox, Smith and Tippett (RCK/FWD).

      With Petrie in my Forwards, I will be trading Sandi to a dud 80,400 RCK using Cox and Smith, and Petrie as back up.

      I would suggest all who have Petrie in their Forwards to downgrade Sandi to Tippett, making around 280K. In the WCE bye play Smith and Petrie, and in every other round use Cox and Smith, with Petrie if one of those two go down.

      • Joel Tippett that is (114K)

      • Good advice. Pity I was telling people to do this 5 weeks ago and way too many people didn’t do it. Hindsight is nice but 4 weeks was never looking enough for him.

  • LOL Adzman,

    Suggest you use my stategy of having a second side in my wifes name for my impulsive trades and speculation picks. Have four trades left in that side while my premium side has 9 trades left.
    Mind you my wife loves footy, picks her team, gets annoyed if her team is going crap, so I cant completely fudge it.

    With her side I be impatience and impulsive – don’t know if any one elses wife is like that????
    With my side I be patient and logical.

    That said I ate my first flowering doughnut this week thanks to late withdrawls – like cucumbers from Coles.

    Struggled to 2080. Happy to break 2K.

    My strategy all year has been to win my league to stick it up some of my smart ass bosses who barrack for collingwood and think they are DT studs b/c having heaps of pies players last year payed off.

    So I picked and trades to avoid byes in finals and chose players based on the finals series and who they played. eg Hawks play GC in the GF.
    Man has this payed off. I have had only one LTI for the year and have a team cracking out steadily improving scores and will not have any A graders with a bye in the last 5 weeks.

    I am now ranked in the top 7000. This is huge for me a second time dt player.
    I am pounding all commers in my work league and loving it.

    That enough cos this is way too long…sorry.


  • Sorry about my english bad in the last essay. Its Sunday night and I’ve had a few refreshments.
    ie: Im pissed.

  • Okay so I have four trades left and I’m seriously thinking about using two of them to turn Liam Anthony and Nick Riewoldt into Dane Swan and Isaac Smith.

    I realise two trades is skinny for the remaining rounds. But I really do have a lot of depth in my team and what I really need is to get another heavy hitter. It will leave my midfield as Pendles. Ablett, Swan, Daisy, Redden and Hodge. Four of them have had all of their byes.

    I am not in the habit of chasing good scores but the reality is that pretty much all of Isaac’s scores have been good. Injury aside, I can see him slutting up with the best of them at the possession rate kings the Hawks. I’d rather have him or Ricky Petterd who is my 7th mid/8th forward than Nick on the field at the moment, and it’s looking decreasingly likely that he’ll turn his form around at all. It will actually save me making that decision each week which I see as a plus.

    I’d rather get rid of Jack Riewoldt but it doesn’t rack up enough coin due to Liam Anthony’s inability to rack up points.

    I expect 29 of my 33 players to play this weekend. Jed Adcock, Simon Buckley, Lachlan Keefe and Dean Cox will/may not. I reckon I can dodge trade-burning waters with a big squad and lots of DPP.

    I’m second in one league, behind Nick Maxwell, who I play this week, and 8th in another but I’ve gone from 1-3 to 7-4 in the last 7 weeks and the last 5 in a row.

    So, um, talk me out of it, I guess.

  • 13 trades left, only going for a league win. Been starting to make a move the last few weeks with trades (i.e done 2 trades each week for the past 3 weeks). Team is starting to come together, will save about 6 trades for finals

  • A mate was just telling me about a couple of features in fantasy soccer (English Premier League) which I think we might all be longing for…

    1/ Mid season purge – opportunity to pull the trigger, wipe your team and start again (otherwise known as FMDT)

    2/ Buy more trades – sacrifice points to ‘purchase’ more trades

    • EPL DT is very easy compared to AFL DT!!!
      EPL – 50 trades over 38 weeks, with only 15 players per team.
      AFL – 24 trades over 24 weeks with 33 players per team.

      AFL is great cause trades are critical and what sorts the best teams from other is controlled trading. These other ideas of buying trades would make the comp a bit of a joke IMO.

      • the thing about epl is you can buy trades for 4 pts each….so if you stuff your inital squad its easy to fix in a few rounds for minimal cost

        in afl its much have to nail your inital squad.

        • and you get to play 2 wild card a season where you can make as many trades as you like

          I was Overall: 2071 :) in the EPL

          • hey mate…we will have to have you in our league this year! we are fpl nuts..we had one in the top 2000 and 2 in the top 10000 this year – you keen?

            p.s its all about the double game weeks after the snow games..thats where i make my run ;)

          • if its fantasy.premierleague I”M IN!!! :) Team Punishment is my name

          • i’m already scouting…gunna be huge! should open this week or next….ill send a league code…got any good mates? should get a good league going

          • cool bananas yer I have a mate thats good too ;) last year was eazy just put the C on Nani, and have C.Adam and the Vaart!!!

  • ive always wanted a buy another trade option…how much would one be worth?


    • I think if you payed for the DT-pro or the SC-gold you sould get 2 more trades and say 20k more

  • 9 trades left, turned selwood into swan last week, about 30k in the bank.
    current rucks, sandi, cox, smith, gawn (who is gorrnnn)

    this quesiton is kinda same same but different,

    need some help here, have rioli in my fwds and also matera sitting on the bench, do i trade rioli to petrie, and sandi down to lobbe or tippet, use petrie this week to cover cox then get him back into the fwds and go with sandi and smith for the remainder, or do i hold rioli and use the cash made in the sandi downgrade to go matera to petrie.

    my other fwds fyfe, johnson, pav, sylvia, goodes, nick roo, krak


  • Current Rucks are: Sandi, Cox, Bailey and Moran.

    Thinking I have to trade Sandi if he’s having surgery. Who should I get in? (I dont want a Goldstein because of finals bye). Possibly Jolly who will be back this week I think or maybe Mummy when he’s back. Thoughts?

  • Lobbe may be a good option as with guys like McEvoy and Goldstein it is always a worry about the effect of their scores if the number 1 ruck comes back in, ie King or Gardiner for McEvoy and Macintosh for Goldstein.

    Having said that, I don’t know what the chances are of either of those two things occurring consider they have been missing for practically the entire season.

    Sandi to Lobbe will still net a pretty penny and then there is the option of swinging Petrie into the ruck and upgrading to a gun elsewhere (either midfield or backline seems to be the best value at the moment although most people should have their midfields finished off by now).