The Knee-jerk: Round 13

All things were happy in my DT world; I’d been riding hard on the back of a green arrow thanks to a pair of 2200+’s and a pair of 2100+s. I’d slashed my ranking from a disappointing 10000 to a manageable 2000 and the team looked solid enough to continue its upward trajectory while the fly by nighters were going the other way. But then the black cloud came; and no it wasn’t the ash cloud from Chile, it’s was the Collingwood bye/Jelwood suspension/Smith soreness that forced everyone to put forward a skeleton staff this week. I just hoped my skeletons were tougher than your skeletons. Well as I write this I’m on the edge of rage. Bartel gone, Voldt, as good as gone, Deledio, spudding. I’m not watching anymore; it’s like watching your own personal car crash from above…..stuff it. I’m going to watch kung fu panda instead.

Shockers

Nick Riewoldt

I’ve always wondered why pigeons even have wings; they spend their whole days just walking around. Even if you are about to hit one with a car they will just try and walk out of the way a bit faster. At the last second they are like OK, I’ll fly! And flap a few times just to save their lives. This reminds me of Voldt this year. He has the ability to fly over anyone but just seems to be walking around with the crumbers and tiprats of the footy world. C’mon Voldt Fly! Save your DT career!

Matthew Boyd (70)

There are some classics that never grow old. Like putting the bit of tan bark in the taps at school and watching the nerd get a wet face when he goes for a drink. But there are classics that get old very quickly, like the premium spudding up the week he gets bought. Sorry about that everyone, it was probably my fault for bringing him in.

Chris Knights (20)

Knights is annoying me right now, he is going so bad that if he was playing in my front yard I’d shut the curtains and turn the sprinkler on. C’mon mate, a migraine??? Plough through! Dipper played with a punctured lung for three quarters!

Bandwagoners

Sam Mitchell (132)

It’s awesome when you see a champion come back from the brink of rubbishness to show who they really are. It’s happened many times to George Foreman, it happened to Harold on Neighbours, happens to John Farnham just before each farewell tour and now after a flat patch its happened to Sam. Make no mistake, the boy is back, if you sold you are a chump!

Other news.

The serious finger.

These days we are all so in tune with our I-phones and computers that they are like an extension of our bodies. Have you ever just sat there and watched somebody at a computer? Their eyes dart from side to side in some kind of trance state as their hand moves the mouse about and clicks merrily in what seems like an involuntary action. The clicking finger doesn’t even leave the mouse; it just taps and double taps like natural. But there is a time when it’s different; there is a time when serious finger comes out… Serious finger is when the index finger raises up off the mouse, pauses for a bit then slams down on the button like a judge’s hammer. Serious finger always comes out when you make a trade. After checking, double checking and triple checking the player screen your finger comes up, you brace your body…am I doing the right trade? Will this hurt? Then down slams the finger…done! Made a trade. I’ve only ever seen serious finger 3 times…its come out when making an eBay bid, when confirming a flight on Jetstar and when making a trade.

The green lantern:

Every league has one, or maybe even two. You know the guy…. any time you log on, day or night who has the green light on next to his name. This addict must have it baaaad. Our leagues green lantern has it real bad. He has been known to email the English premier league fantasy sports people asking why he didn’t get his assist points because the ball grazed the back of his players arse on the way to the goals. At least now with the addition of the green light we know who the real tragics are…and who the liars are who tell us they spend no time at all on their teams. Oh well, I’d rather a green lantern than a ghost ship.

All about the look:

The mind of the DT’er works in weird ways. At the moment I have one spot left to finish my midfield, on a count of this I have one spot being filled by a forward MPP. Now I know it means absolutely nothing but I spend time toggling between the forward options trying to find which player will make my midfield look the best. I usually end up using Fyfe because he is averaging 100 and it makes Mitchell come in as my last (therefore worst) midfielder. I don’t even know why it matters! Why can’t I just sit Mzungu there? Because it looks shit that’s why! The midfield is my sitting room, and I want all my best furniture there….the crappy old chair with the rip in it can stay in the back room. This is also the exact reason why people midweek trade, there’s no other reason apart from making their teams look their best.

The poison position:

I reckon every year every team has one position that is like a thorn in your side. But It just has to be ignored no matter how bad it gets, don’t get sucked into a trade frenzy to fix it because it’s a black hole that will eat trades for breakfast. Last year my poison position was the number 2 ruck. It started with Clarke who spudded up being turned into Seaby (shudder) who stunk up, got injured then turned into Kruezer. Nuff said; that spot was a right off. This year the poison spot has got me again… Started with Krakouer, turned into Higgins who played once, got injured then spudded up, he turned into Sylvia who got injured week one.  I’m not touching this position again. Poison!

Well that’s it, no use beating around the bush – its carnage out there. Any knee jerks to share?

41 Comments

  • Well, I’ve got all 3 shockers this week, but I’m sure I’m not alone there….

  • You are definitely the most entertaining DT writer … even though in some para’s i am curious to see how on earth you are going eventually to make the connection to footy!

    Glad you took the blame for Boyd … at least i was saved the double misery by having traded Knights out.

    As for Voldt, wish i’d gone with my gut many weeks ago.

    What happened to whoever it was doing the ‘mid-range’ team ? Wondering how it would be doing now, with so many ‘premiums’ being less than inspiring?

    • cheers mate!, dt is depressing enough, gotta try and find a way to laugh about it ;)

      • And laugh I did! Cheers mate.

        I don’t feel so bad about not upholstering my forward line when I had the chance now. The shitty old furniture is there to stay, as it’s not worth anything any more even if I put it up on eBay and brought serious finger to the computey table.

  • Dyson Heppell out!!! He’s really hit the wall.

    • Heppell will get better as Stanton and Watson take some of the workload.

    • I cut him a fortnight ago, you beauty! Most of my traded out players are chosen after looking at the Rollercoaster section on fanfooty.com

  • Brilliant adzman! You really should give up your day job!!

    Same shockers as everyone here…Bartel, Knights, Riewoldt…

    At this stage looking at Knights -> Sylvia and Heppell -> Deledio for me, as well as praying to the DT Gods that Bartel isn’t out next weekend to stuff my midfield around.

    • On a brighter note, must have had one of the better forward benches going around – Lynch 86, Mzungu 71 & Howe sitting on 100 with a few mins to go.

    • love to tex! but tattslotto didnt come in last night..so the day job survives another week

  • You just know there is some bastard out there with no bartel, knights, volt, montagna, god, Boyd the list goes on and have gaza, Mitchell, dal santo, Murphy and savage lol

    • he will be the first person to post his score on here when the review goes up

  • My team is actually doing alright… Avoided the Bartel and Voldt carnage..\
    Got in Mitchel for Munday and Ablett for Selwood…… Very happy with their output…

    But Heppell you’re gone… Knights see ya later… Lynch has saved his spot for another couple of weeks and Higgins thank you for rewarding me by keeping you!

  • Relating Roo to a pigeon hilarious! Man they’re such lazy birds with that stupid noise as the fly away.
    I would love to get Mitchell but already have Hodge so leaning towards Pendles.

    I’ve been lucky this week avoiding Knights, Bartel and Boyd as C.

    Yet will score still lowish due to Boyd and Montagna being outscored by Bewick,

    Broughton/Freo c’mon what was that.

    and Riewoldt, I have no choice but to stick with you enough said.

    Very nice article though thanks Adzman

    • cheers mate..love the nick by the way – i reckon star wars might return to the knee-jerk soon

  • Also might be some interesting forwards next week with Riewoldt out obviously but possibly also Pavlich and Franklin.

    • With Smith and Howe giving me 205 points on the bench, makes Voldt and Knights’ 49 combined laughable. 150 extra points would have been really handy this week!

  • Bahahaha the green lantern!! VERY HUMEROUS

  • OMG!!!! My final score this week is 1878, worse thing is that this is how my last three rounds have gone,
    1877, 1877 and now 1878… consistent but bad… i know i would cop a zero in Smith but Bartel, Knights, Montagna, Heppel, Boyd and Goddard let me down, FMDT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • FDT… Simple as that..
    Had otten and i.smith on bench and watched them get 90’s whilst the likes of Bartel, Montags, Voldt, Heppel, Duigan, Lower, Boyd, Goddard, Delds play like absolute shit…
    To add insult to injury I picked Prestia to start over i.smith.. difference -71.
    The only positive was Howe getting 105 and my last minute captaincy change from Boyd to Ablett…

    Unless Darling and Cox score around 150 each I’m gonna struggle to reach 1900.

    • I think that’s the general consensus so far mate. 1900 sounds like it will be a very decent score from what everyone is saying at the moment.

      • Yeah had four players put the bib on this weekend… add to that those other rotten scores.. thank god I’ve got money and trades left.

  • Coaches who had Boyd captain didnt do their research or just disrespected history!
    Suffer in Jocks for being such amatuers!

  • ARRGGGGGHHH!!!

    I’m going to miss the top league score this week by 1 Point!!! grrr

    TIts Out!!

  • bad call at the selection table has cost me 2000+ again…

    bart, boyd, nvoldt, godd, hepp = 215

    hibberd, mzu, howe, stanley, poops = 415

    1975 could have been 2170!

    • Those weren’t bad calls, just bad luck. If you’d have picked the rookie 5 you would’ve just been a damn lucky dumb ass.

  • Bad week for me and not too happy:
    Midfield was bad because of Bartel and Boyd
    Foward wasnt as bad with Prestia (28) on the field and Smith (99) on the bench
    Back was horrible thanks to Deledio (79), Goddard (56), Heppel (58), Broughton (46), Duigan (67) and Rance (34) and Otten (96) and Puopolo (68) on the bench horrible week!

  • Hey guys I’m thinking of making these trades:

    Swallow/Prestia -> Mitchell (or other mid premo)
    Knights/Darling/Harper -> Sylvia (or other fwd premo)

    This would leave me with around $150 000 and 6 trades left and my team will look like this:

    Gibbs, Lids, Suckling, Shaw, Adcock, Heppell, Broughton (Lower, Poo, Jacobs)
    Boyd, Pendles, Swan, Gablett, Dal Santo, Mitchell (Hibberd, Prestia, Gu)
    Cox, Z Smith (Browne, M Curnow)
    Buddy, Pav, Chappy, Sylvia, Zaharakis, Knights, , Missy Higgins (T Lynch, I Smith, Harper)

    What do you guys think about these trades?
    Are they any other guys I could trade in and are these the right guys to trade out?
    Let me know what you guys think

  • Love this article so much. I’m the green lantern for my league. I have the serious finger. I go by the look, if my midfield doesn’t look its strongest I’m never happy. My poison position the last two years has been that same 2nd ruck. It caused me to freak out and dump sandilands for goldstein who 1) scared me all friggin game with that ankle injury and 2) was’t needed to secure my win.

    • Oh, and just to elaborate on the second ruck, I started with Hale moved onto Mccauley then to Cox, while my other ruck went Jolly to Ryder to Sandilands and now Goldstein the only constant being Smith FMDT second year in a rowthat I should delete my team and start again pity I’m 6th in my league and only 2 wins from the leader.