The Knee Jerk: Round 9

Welcome to the round 9 knee jerk. It comes this week at a time when my DT ship has finally righted itself after negotiating some stormy weather. I feel like Rocky Balboa in Moscow fighting Ivan Drago. I’ve taken all his punches in the middle rounds and I’m still standing. Now it’s my time to come out swinging, it’s Stallions time. I’ll probably come out of it with brain damage, but I’ll beat the dirty Ruskis. Who do you reckon would win out of a fight between Rocky and Mr Miyagi? Rocky is all muscle but Miyagi is a thinker… that night he scaled the fence to beat up on Johnny Lawrence and his Cobra mates when they were bullying Daniel son takes it for me. Miyagi for the win.

Shockers

Chris Yarran (53)

A lot of things about the youth these days I don’t get. Planking is one…when we were young we used to do fun stuff like push over sleeping cows and burgle cars*, but people are so lazy now that lying down is fun. For the past 30 years I have been planking in bed every night and I never knew it was cool. Anyway Yarran may as well have been planking out on the ground last night, he was rubbish. Somebody has to tell him that sometimes in football you have a man play on you, when that happens you still have to try.

*I never actually burgled any cars apart from my mums, but that was only once to drive through the bottle shop to get beer when we had no i.d, this was in the past and ive repaid my debt to society.

Nick Dal Santo (61)

It was the turn around game for the saints today where everybody in their team stepped it up, everybody except for Nick Dal Santo. He has been having a stellar season so I guess a week off is ok, but he would want to watch his back, its trading season!

Brent Stanton (69)

Once a premium Stanton seems to have the weight of the world on his shoulders at the moment. It can’t help having a bonehead element of the bomber fans booing their own player, I wouldn’t be surprised to see him ask for a trade at years end – but he’d better play better than he did tonight if wants to be worth more than a half chewed Mars bar on the trade table.

Paddy Ryder (58)

Ryder was being touted pre-season as a Smokey ruck premium pick and the guy has all the tools to be that. It just seems with the inclusion of Bellchambers in the bombers side he has lost his sense of position and purpose. He just seems listless and disinterested. If you still own him jump ship now!

Tom Rockliff (59)

Subbed out early to the annoyance of all his owners but I suppose he was due a poor game. With the hot and cold form of Redden as well the much vaunted Brisbane r’s midfield is faltering of late.

Bandwagoners

Joel Selwood (122)

If there was any doubt that this guy wasn’t the future of DT is has all but been erased this season, the guy is a freak. With the amount of free kicks he wins he must be a huge shout for the Brownlow also, he is under the umpire’s noses all game. If you want a solid gold, consistent scoring untaggable player and can’t afford Boyd or Swan. This is your man. We just have to hope the media hysteria about the free kicks doesn’t turn the umpires against him.

Heath Scotland (128)

In an area on the ground where we are struggling to find any scores or consistency Scotland gives us an option. Most will be unwilling to buy him as they already have Gibbs but if you want a player in your backs to score you 90+ every week this is your wagon to jump on.

Michael Evans (112)

First gamer Evans scored great in his first game but to me this wreaks of Muston/Gysberts all over again. I don’t care if he tons up next week… this is a huge sucker job.

The Saints guns

Joey (151), Voldt (134) and BJ (122) were back with a bang this week but are they back? Was it dead cat bounce or is it finally time that these guys are to become fantasy relevant again. Most of us have at least one of these guys, maybe even two or three, so we will all watch on with interest.

Drew Petrie (125)

The dish is playing bi-polar football of late, is it worth the ride? One week he dominates the next he frustrates. I’m jumping off as soon as Sandilands is fit again, my heart doesn’t need the kind of stress that Petrie provides…well done this week though mate!

Big Johnno Brown (93)

The lions talisman once again drags a team over the line off his own boot. The guy is a fantasy giant when in form; I’ll be waiting a few weeks til his first price change to see if he finds a spot in my team this year. He scored 93 first week back; imagine what he will be like when fully fit!

Other news

Priorities

So I finally did it…I finally brought Dane Swan. I’ve got other far more pressing issues than my midfield; I have one dud ruckman and I have half a backline full of non-performers but I did it anyway. Effectively my house has a broken front window, a hole in the roof and a crack in the bedroom wall but I’ve just gone and bought a solid gold toilet door…but what a door! Do me proud Swanman.

The curse

I’ve never really grown up in life. When my GF asks what I’m thinking when I’m looking off into space she knows its football, I know its football, but does she know that I know that she knows its football? “Ahh nothing” I say…. But I’m not fooling anyone. When I walk down the shops and I see a person in front of me I always get this urge to take a hanger on their back…even though there is no ball in the vicinity…I still dodge the cracks when I’m walking cause I don’t want to mozz anything, and I still am the most superstitious person I know. If I see a picture of an opposition player on the way to the game that guy always dominates…I try to pretend I didn’t see him but it doesn’t work. There are two curses in DT. M0nty’s purple name game on Fan footy is one.  If you log on and the purple line is under your guy; get ready for a 60. The second curse comes the week you bring a premium in. My mate Steve the plagiarist has had this curse big time lately; He traded in Redden two weeks ago and he averages 64 since, Mitchell came in last week and he scored a 60, Higgins came in 3 weeks ago and he has played once since. So whoever he brings in next is doomed. I’d love to tell you who it is to save you the pain but he wont tell me his next target. But rest assured, if your player is stinking it up its Steve’s fault.

Selfish

I get called selfish for wanting to sit at home on the couch rather than go out to my GF’s friend’s birthday but I don’t see that as selfish…I see the AFL as selfish, why? Because they are so hell-bent on equalising the competition that they haven’t even thought about us poor fans. They have installed a draft and a salary cap and priority picks to try knock down the great teams and leg up the poor ones and they think I respect them for it. Well I don’t, have you ever tried to get a multi bet home lately? Ever looked at the round and tried to tip 8 for the footy tips? How about 7 or even 6? Finding a winner these days is harder than being a virgin at midnight trying to find a hole in the darkness. I’m going to have to stop betting soon, and that is a terrible thing. C’mon AFL give me the 80s with some crap and good teams, At least I’d have a few legs covered.

I can’t believe it’s not butter

There are only two things in life that are softer than Shaun Higgins; a handshake from your gay uncle Vince and the grip of the silver claw on the skill tester machine. This guy is the biggest DT tease of all time, he is the hot Thai chick sitting at the bar that you get home and find is packing a cock and balls in her kit bag. NEVER again, I don’t care if he scores one thousand pre-season points…never again.

History repeats

The sacking of a coach is a harrowing experience but usually the writing had been on the wall, there are a certain set of occurrences that always transpire to pave the way for it to happen. There are two main pointers that lead to the demise of coaches and at present there are 2 coaches who have had both pointers already happen. The first pointer is when a player comes out in the media and says “blame the players not the coach”, this may or may not result in a final win for the flagging coach. Next will come the president saying “the coach has the full support of the board”. If you hear these words you better dig out your centerlink CRN sharpish. So Dean Bailey and Michael Voss have both had these two calls already…you wont need Hutchy to give you the scoop; stand by for the sackings.

So that’s about it for this week, it’s looking like being an epic scoring round. Any other knee jerks out there? Any football thoughts? Maybe you just want to try and figure out why Arnold Schwarzenegger would go anywhere near that woman in the first place, whatever it is…vent it here.

76 Comments

  • Nice write up.

  • moved chappy into mids so i could place tappy on field instead of hibberd costing me 64 points :\

    • thanks for telling us all….again

      • pretty sure its only the second or third time ive mentioned it and i can mention it as many times as i want anyways

        wait for the round review cause itll probs be in my vent/brag/whatever section

  • I have Tappy as Emergency so am praying that Krak and Cyril don’t pull out at the last minute coz that 16 is freaking me out.

  • Lower – 119 on bench, Petrie – 125 on bench, Jacobs – 91 on bench. FMDT what is going on with my bench players!

    • I kept Darling on the field this week over Petrie. So i hope he at least cracks 100 or it’s cost me points. Also any ideas what to do with Bartel? Underperforming lately thinking of a sideways swap to selwood.

      • Bartel is a gun player, he’s just as dangerous as Selwood.

        We all know how it works with sideways trades, the one you trade out scores well from the week after and the one you trade in struggles or worse gets injured…

        Save yourself a trade there, Jimmy B will come good, especially against GCFC next week.

        • pfft, Jimmy is nowhere near the same DT class as Selwood.

          Trade trade trade!

    • Lower was named as a follower, that was enough for me to play him. Something to keep in mind I guess

  • Flipped a coin and traded out duigan, initially :( , but kept Lower. : )

  • Great write up – love the comment re Missy higgins softer than the grip of the claw of a skill tester machine – gold.

  • Everytime I do something which I think is the right thing….. it goes wrong. This week…. Picked Tapscott over Knights… Tappy 16. Last week 7 Hawks backs dominated i think most of em got over 100. Great insight for this week Vs St.Kilda. Knights playing Collingwood. No brainer really. But yes, it had to go wrong just becoz I thought out of the square! FFS!!!

    • How many times has Tappy outscored Knights this year? Rarely I’d say. I’m afraid that was a bit of an error in judgement mate.

  • Lower and duigan repaid the faith for those who kept them. As for those who traded out 1 or both of them, better luck next year.

    • I’m still happy, trading out lower to hibberd, allowed me to get a premo mid. Plus hibberd make me 50k because of his 80 this week.

    • yeah chappo mate ive got both on my bloody bench :(

  • HAHAHA PETRIE U BIG DAWWWWWWG, SWALLOW ABOUT TIME SONNNNNNNNN! WOOP WOOP. FUCK YOU ROCKY.

  • Great article. Hoever, Voss could be signing on for more years. And i brought in mundy this week, bloody steve haha

  • These comments made my night, cheers for the laughs! :)

    Planking is one…when we were young we used to do fun stuff like push over sleeping cows and burgle cars

    Effectively my house has a broken front window, a hole in the roof and a crack in the bedroom wall but I’ve just gone and bought a solid gold toilet door…but what a door!

    I’d love to tell you who it is to save you the pain but he wont tell me his next target. But rest assured, if your player is stinking it up its Steve’s fault.

    Finding a winner these days is harder than being a virgin at midnight trying to find a hole in the darkness.

    There are only two things in life that are softer than Shaun Higgins; a handshake from your gay uncle Vince and the grip of the silver claw on the skill tester machine. This guy is the biggest DT tease of all time, he is the hot Thai chick sitting at the bar that you get home and find is packing a cock and balls in her kit bag. NEVER again, I don’t care if he scores one thousand pre-season points…never again.

    You wont need Hutchy to give you the scoop. (I’ve never liked ‘Hutchy’, so I’m glad I don’t have to see his smug face when he has some amazing breaking news, I can just read the Knee Jerk instead!)

    • The one about Steve crabbing up the form of one of my new players, see David Mundy……

  • Even though my beloved Bombers lost, I cant contain my happiness. 1450/13 with 7 premiums, Puopolo and Darling still to play! The only downside is that everyone else is scoring well too

  • Brought in Mundy this week…apologies to everyone who needed a big score from him!

  • pratt and hibberd both get 80 and ive got duigan and lower on the bench. with shaw still to play i could have been looking at 700+ easily in my backline. :(

    • Stick with Higgins. I am. But i also traded in Suban that Frightful Friday Night. Coad can suck it too. What’s with the backs they don’t score all year and BAM!!! they are pumping. Lids or +cock to get?? Wish i had them from the start but NOOOOOOO had to go Connors! Enough said. Tappy makes it interesting. Maybe he will ride the pine for another week – can’t lose money if he don’t play.

      1220 with 10 to play – R. Murphy, N. Smith, Swan, Pendles, Boyd, Cox, Buddy, Goodes, Higgins and Darling. Never cracked 2200 ever but tomorrow could be the day. Fingers crossed would like to get back into Top 10K. Only been doing this for 5 years, still no better.

  • Ol mate Jimmy Bartel is gone from my team this week. This new role of being a scabby winger come forward doesn’t gel with me. Only junk time pushed his previous two scores above 90 and his 70 this week was not fucking good enough. If your team was shit to begin with and you traded like mad, you probably have to keep him. If you don’t have him and want to say But he’s a premium…his average of 104 prior to this week wasn’t even good enough to be a midfield premium.

  • Stick with Higgins. I am. But i also traded in Suban that Frightful Friday Night. Coad can suck it too. What’s with the backs they don’t score all year and BAM!!! they are pumping. Lids or +cock to get?? Wish i had them from the start but NOOOOOOO had to go Connors! Enough said. Tappy makes it interesting. Maybe he will ride the pine for another week – can’t lose money if he don’t play.

    1220 with 10 to play – R. Murphy, N. Smith, Swan, Pendles, Boyd, Cox, Buddy, Goodes, Higgins and Darling. Never cracked 2200 ever but tomorrow could be the day. Fingers crossed would like to get back into Top 10K. Only been doing this for 5 years, still no better.

  • Im apologising now for Heath Shaws appalling score today (trust me – it will come)

    My backs – Delidio 108, Adcock 118, Heppell 108, Scotland 128, Goddard 122, Lower 119 SHAW [ ]
    Bench – Duigan 97, Jacobs 91

    I traded Shaw in this week and he’s haunted me every year of DT.

    EVERY year i get him, and this year i havent – as you do – and he craps on me with120+ scores week in and out

    I’ve got 19 trades left and I use them sparingly, but i had to get him in.

    As you can see my backs are all 100+ so far this week and both benchs 90+ so expect Shaw to get less than 91. Nothing is surer!

    1382 / 13 Swanny ( C) and the “wifes” team is 1738 from 15 (C) Selwoood

    there are gonna be some HUUUGE scores this round!

  • Over all highest averages ever this week?

    Just saying.

  • Does anyone know the single week scoring record?

    I am not going to get it but someone surely has to this week

  • Did the Mundy midfield makeover this week too. So far he is my lowest scoring player. He’s a jet, that’s why we got him and will bounce back with a 120 next week.

    The big question is Gaj. We will all be trading him in but there is a fair bit of smoke blowing out of Skilled Stadium this week. I am not expecting him to have a huge one but would be happy for him to pull 150 provided the cats win! I def would not be making him captain in his first hitout against his old team.

    • Having Jimmy B and Mundy has lowered my score a little ur rite mundy is a gun and will repay the faith next week 1366/13

    • He didn’t even do that bad, it’s because he got 16 handballs and 9 kicks. So he didn’t have that bad of a game just needed to kick it more and maybe tackle.

  • If evans pumps out another 80+ ill still get him… if he averages say 60 from there i’d be happy.. hed still make 130k…

    • He may average well over 100, but he is likely to be fools gold! Unless he improves his efficiency, he will be playing magoos a lot more this year!

  • I’m on track for 2200+ and I’m stilling loosing half my round games. It’s a joke. Traded out Duigan to Puopolo, I still reckon it was the right thing to do. Lower was put on the bench ahead of Hibberd. Hibberd did good but Lower did great. Rocky has a calf injury apparently. If I lose to Tom Harley I’m gonna be PISSED!

  • GREAT you bought in Swan this week – means he’ll have a shocker ;-)

    • is:-(
      and of course Shaw, Krak and Dawes:-(
      so sad, too bad…Dreamies seems more and more like a lottery for me, and i never have had any lottery luck:-(
      *sigh*

  • My Elim will be close, Me: Shaw,B.Smith,Boydx2,Cox and Knights V’s Swanx2,Birchall,Poo and Darling + 101 pts??

  • As long as you didn’t put the C on Swan he’ll be fine.

    I have 14 on-field players completed and so far the lowest score is jack Riewoldt with 75 then have plenty of 90s and 100+. And I have Duigan 97, Hibberd 80 and Jacobs 91 on the bench. So far everyone is pulling their weight, EVEN GODDARD. I’d like to complain about Pavlich’s 80 but I traded him in for Tapscott.

    This weeks mid round knee-jerk? Keep my team the way it is!

    Its hard not having anyone to complain about.

  • seems pretty pointless getting excited about scoring 2200 if the average score is 2300.

    you’re better off scoring 1900 and the average being 1800.

    i’m on track for 2350, but i dont think that worth a big fuss this week. if u crack 2400 then get excited because you’ll be pushing well up the ladder.

    • Yeah. Agreed. It’s hard to be excited about your score when you can see that your opposition is doing just as well. However, it is good to know that players like St Nick can still smash out a good score. My most disappointing player this week was Ryder, but that has been happening most weeks, and after that it was Pav with 80.

      At the moment I think I’m looking at about 2350 but we will see. It’d be nice to get right up there amogst the top DTers but I was never realistically in it from the start. The main league I’m competing in should be a comfortable win at the moment with my opponent looking like he is gonna crack 2100, so I’m happy with that.

    • But now there is going to be a whole lot more cash floating around. Yes yes everyone else will have the cash too, but now there are a lot more decisions people need to ask. Especially in the backline. Do you keep Duigan, Lower or both? Or do trade them now in a couple of weeks when these high scores have had full effect on their price. If you don’t have Goddard is it time to bring him in? etc etc.

  • Another knee jerk for you:

    Taylor Walker sinking a beer at the Port – Fremantle match yesterday as pictured on Foxtel. Tex – so much talent, so little intelligence.

    • Mate he was watching the pre game match involving broken hill. Had booted 5 goals on the friday nite and had 1 beer watching his old mates. Bit touchy aren’t we these days……………..

      • I’m a Crows fan and want him in the side every week. We all know that footy clubs just won’t tolerate that sort of thing. Walker needs to be more aware of the ramifications. That’s why I’m saying he needs to be smarter with that sort of thing.

  • I am 99% sure Rockliff was subbed due to injury. He was on crutches and in the post-game Vossy said it was either a calf or achilles injury :(

    Tapscott’s no big deal really, but injuries to Rockliff and Sandilands hurt!

    • kinda sucks for melbourne that tapscotts out tho, their injury list is getting bigger and their depth isnt great.

  • him – 192 + puoplo, swan, boyd (c)
    me – swan (c), boyd, goodes, knights, pendlebury

    how am i looking???

  • Goddard came back with a big score, happy i kept him. hopefully he can keep the big scores rolling

  • 1294 from 12.. **** off sub rule.
    why does didak have to be sub the only week I have a chance to win the weekly.. I was on track for 2400+
    im praying for a collingwood player to get injured.

    • Agreed! There go my chances also – 1380/13 but no chance now. Bloody Didak needs a whole game to get back in form, not a quarter. Wish I never selected the bugger

      • agreed, I chose him over knights…. was on track for 2500. FMDT

  • Great write up, funny stuff!!!

    Ahhhh the dreaded DT curse. Traded in Mitchell puts up a 60, traded out Petrie smashes out a 120+, now Didak’s the fkn sub, he definitely has had a DT fall from grace this year. Do we keep the faith?? or hit the T button??

  • traded out Lower last week, Duigan and Jacobs on bench, and Didak was Collingwood’s sub. FMDT

  • Why the f*** did I keep Higgins!!! F****** tosser!!!

  • Whats happened to Higgins?

    • Got a little tap near his eye which somehow interrupted his menstrual cycle.. so had to be subbed off of course. Cannot believe I held on to him for this long! Definitely trading him this week!

  • Heard he copped a knee to the vagina and may miss next week.

    • hey hey keep it PG rated okay. kids like 44chappo might get scared for life.

      • You two are at war! Ask Chappo why Luke Hodge is his favourite footballer!

  • had lower on the bench for poopolo…. lost eliminator by 20 points… lost a league game by 50 shame shame shame swans good but not swanesque score of 94 donning the capt didnt held