The Knee-Jerk: Round 6

It’s going to be hard to write the knee-jerk this week…. like a jilted ex-lover that I’m forced to see in social circles, I just can’t bring myself to look my DT in the eye at the moment. It has done some unspeakable things to me this week and I’m not sure that I can just forgive and forget. I worked so hard to claw my way into the top few thousand and in one fell swoop it’s all going to be for nothing. Just like when you’re on a driving holiday and you do the hard yards passing all the caravans, busses and snails then the missus wants to stop for the toilet and you have to sit there watching them all drive right by you again. Annoying! I won’t go into gory detail but let’s just say after the bye players, injuries and omissions my BEST case scenario before trading was 4 donunts….FOUR! My squad is thinner than Rove McManus’s joke book so 1700 would be a good score this week, I dread to think where that will leave me. Anyhow I’ll try and surpress the bitterness but I can’t promise anything… is this weeks knee-jerk;


Brad Green (58)

Green was in a fair few teams at the start of the year but I’d be surprised if he is still in any. It’s obvious that the captaincy is weighing on him, the fact that his team is not performing is making things even worse. It’s simple….while Green is captain he can’t be a DT’er.

Bryce Gibbs (67)

Bryce is fast becoming a fixture in this section. There is not one snowflakes chance in hell that I’m trading him out either, because I know exactly what will happen…… But the thing is he isn’t playing poorly, it’s just the fact that he is getting accountable jobs, tagging jobs. No more slut Gibbs roaming free like a non KFC chicken. He is now earning his defensive keeps and it is making him a DT non contributor. C’mon Ratts…he’s a peacock, set him free!

Drew Petrie (70)

The dish makes his way into the shockers chart this week. I don’t know who to feel sorry for more; those that brought him last week or those that had him from the start. I had a sneaky feeling that he would come good after the stuttering start. He had the suspension then a game then a bye then a couple of games back and then he scored the monster last week. I thought he was away but no, he was back to old form. Let’s be honest though, he is scoring at his price at the moment and you get what you pay for. As long as he makes a few more dollars it isn’t all doom and gloom.

Nick Riewoldt (43)

The voldt is having a mare of a year so far. One could think back to the nude picture scandal and draw their own conclusions but I’m not so sure. I just think the saints are shot, they are moving the ball into him so slowly that he has no hope. Graham Johncock tried to knock some sense into poor old voldt but it didn’t work. As we know once the sub has already been activated the doctors will NEVER say another player has concussion… Voldt stayed on the bench to finish his nightmare, rather than being able to hide away in the rooms.


Jack Darling (98)

It kills me every time I see him but I think the next bandwagon might have to be one Jack Darling. Most of us had the choice between Darling and Tapscott…some chose both. I started with Tapscott and to be honest I’m not all that disappointed. But Tascott’s wagon is a mini minor, Darlings is a semi-trailer! He is huge, demands the ball, demands attention, a new Johnno Brown! It’s too late for me, I won’t swallow my pride and buy, that horse has bolted. But if you aren’t already on and don’t mind – jump on!

Dustin Martin (119)

The Dustin Martin bandwagon has quietly been rumbling along for a few weeks now, he has been getting better and better scores as the weeks have gone by. He is fast becoming the tiger’s talisman. Personally I think he will become a premium next year, but this year I don’t think there are enough spots in my middle to carry him. But there are worse buys around! Jump on now before it’s too late if you want a well-priced mid.

As mentioned last week the Redden (133) and Rockliff (132) wagons will be out of sight if you don’t jump on now, these two are fantasy gold! Take one and you won’t be disappointed.

(Thursday) Captains curse

The loophole was in play and Cox scored 10 less than Calvin’s threshold….was it enough for you? I took it, I’m a chicken. Bring on next week! No Swan so people will have to think for once.

Other news

Protected species

We have all heard about the giant panda…..he just won’t get intimate with his other half, and the poor old white rhinoceros is also close to extinction but there is one other animal that never gets mentioned when the tins are rattling and the greenies are whining. The most protected species of the lot is the humble magpie… if you have your doubts check out a replay of the ANZAC day game for proof. Their undersized backs – namely Hertier O’Brien and Nick Maxwell are the most protected of species in the AFL. They hold onto their opponents like oversized octopuses, they chop arms, they get tackled and never dispose of the ball correctly and more annoyingly they block the man on the mark in a most unsporting like way. But the umpires seem to have been told to protect this species no matter how heinous or wrong their acts are. Just like we can’t kill a snake even if it’s biting us we can’t call for frees from these cheats.

Enough’s enough

Ok, I’ve taken just about enough of this. How much is the AFL rights deal worth again? 1 billion? They are a wealthy organisation right? Then why the hell does their website operate like its been made by somebody in a garage using an old etcha sketch and a 486 as their server? I’m old enough, I’ve been through the dial-up era and I thought I’d never be back there again. Waiting while a picture excruciatingly loads up one bar at a time was something I figured was a thing of the past. But it’s back alive and well on the AFL website. To be honest I don’t mind waiting a little while for something decent, like a good pr0n stream or some good images but this new AFL website is the pits! It’s a dogs breakfast, I’m not sure if it was designed by a kindergarten kid or an art student on acid but it would have to be one of the most un-user friendly designs I have come across. Shit all over the page, no easy to use menus, it’s just all over the shop. Lift your game AFL or I’m staying on the Herald sun superfooty page.

Media musings

It happens like clockwork every round; there will be a horrendous game of football with skill errors all the way through it, a shocking game without any redeeming features whatsoever, a spectacle that will never be remembered for anything…..then all of a sudden in the last quarter with ten minutes to go there is a game to be won!  The teams will be within a few points of each other and go hammer and tong for a while and the commentators (particularly Anthony Hudson) will declare “what a game this has been!” like it’s been one of history’s finest. What a game this has been? Are you a gold fish Huddo? Can you not remember the hour and a half of tripe we all just witnessed…or do you only have a 5 minute memory?

Speaking of commentators Andy Maher (or George Jetson I think he resembles) came out with a pearler last week…… when referring to how well Robbie Nahas was playing mistakenly called him Nobby Rahas… Gold!

Old Maher Jetson is still infamous for that interview he did with Brett Kirk after his last game; Maher asked him how he felt about fifteen times within a minute….. That was painful but not as painful as watching any player get interviewed.  Hot on the heels of last week’s cliché coach interview, here comes the player version;

Interviewer: That was a good win
Player: yeh, nah it was good

Interviewer: They ran you pretty hard today
Player: Yeh, nah they are a good young side, we had to be on our game today, the boys really stood up, yeh, nah it was good

Interviewer: You must be happy with your own form?
Player: Yeh, nah I’ve been going OK, the boys are really playing well, we did a hard preseason and yeh, nah it’s going well so far.

Interviewer: I know you don’t look too far ahead but you must be polling Brownlow votes, think your any chance?
Player: Yeh, nah I don’t really read the papers, you know? Just want to have a win with the boys, ask any player and they will take a premiership medal over a Brownlow.

Interviewer: Big game next week?
Player: Yeh, nah they are a good young side, we will have to be at our best, work on a few things this week at training…

Interviewer: Ok I’ll let you get back to the boys, well played today
Player: Yeh, nah thanks mate.

OK as you can see I couldn’t supress my bitterness at all, the knee-jerk will be back to its former glory next week when I’ve got a full squad to play with.

Any other knee-jerks or bitter whines you want to vent out there? Any other player interview clichés? Share them all here.


  • Another good write up adzman!

  • 2nd

  • Yeah, agree Adz, super write up! What is the go with the AFL website? I thought I was being overly sensitive till I read your views… add me to the list of people completely turned off by it.

    No major gripes this week other than everyone other than blokes picked in my DT are scoring quite well. Grey nomad after grey nomad will fly past me this week… should rename my team the Datsun 180Bs :(

    • Agreed, It is the most un-user friendly site around. Disgraceful.

      • i dunno, There was a 1×2 cm square of white space where I think they could fit another add in last time I checked the teams

    • What do you guys expect, the site is hosted by Telstra Bigpond, and probably programed and run by them too. And if there is one thing Telstra know how to do well its f**k up anything that should be easy.

      • I thought it was just me even just finding out who the subs are is hard, the link seems to change every week, the teams page keeps stuffing up as well. The articles are shit as well I would go for quality over quantity every day. If you try and use the search for Teams round 6 2011 it comes up with teams for 2006, 7, 8, 9 and 10 but where is the link for teams in 2011. I need to switch sites for good info now as well Dr Dream team is crap. I stopped reading his articles after I saw his team before the season started.

        The Headlines

        Brennan not worried by Lions, even if he was why would he say he is to some stupid fk. It’s AFL not Unreal Tournament Death match.

        The kicking revolution clubs going to extraordinary lengths to improve kicking. Who would have thought kicking is the biggest part of the game why would they do that maybe they want goals and marks instead of points and handballs? Who Fkn cares.

        AFL App $3.99, with all the advertising and money from tv deals you have to charge AFL fans $4 for an app.

        A letter to roos fans
        A letter to Footy wives

        Even if I was a roos fan or a footy wife I would not read your letter shit for brains.

        • gold! unreal tornament death match

          multi kill..multi kill..ultra kill.. ablett – godlike!

  • Bit harsh on Petrie, scored 70, but cost 200K at the start of the year, way worse performers than him.

    • yep..bad call on petrie. When you compare with the rest of the forwards Petrie is doing well. A few more big scores and he will maintain an 80 avg. DPP option is massive too if you decided to pick up either of the tippets in ruck.

      • yeh, fair call lads – i guess i was typing when he was stinking it up on about 20 just before half time. He got on his bike near the end and did OK. For the price we paid for him he should turn out alright. I was just silly enough to start with cox and petrie as my rucks, so i am relying on him to perform every week – meanwhile sandi is doing what he does and rubbing my nose in it.

        • I appreciate the write up though adzman. If Petrie can manage 80 this season i’ll be happy with that. I got him for the flexibility with DPP in the rucks. I played it super safe having Z.Smith and J.Tippet (DPP ruck/forward) as my subs in the rucks along with Petrie in the forward line. In past seasons I have been hit with donuts in the rucks so I happy to pick Petrie as that cheap forward DPP ruck/forward option. If he can maintain 80 avg It would be a fair effort coming back from injury. Lets see how he goes. The jury is still out but he hasnt been too bad so far.

  • Montagna is back to spudding it up as well

  • Hmmm maybe upgrade Montagna…

  • Nick to Chappy?

    • I’m gonna make that trade I reckon.

    • I’m considering that too. Or Didak to Chapman. $100k in the bank so will need to cut a premium.

      Currently: Franklin, Didak, Johnson, Riewoldt, Murphy, Knights, Petrie (McKernan, Matera, Richardson)

  • Deledio or Adcock?

  • forgot goodes, ROK, montagna

    • i’ll let the sydney boys off…..wet weather and mud are never conducive to big scores – they are on notice though!

  • Yeh, Nah, Great write up adzman! (-;

  • very well done adzman top notch write up.. but you have to be happy with petrie that 143 alone will get him to 300 k if he spuds it up next week im going him to goodes should only need 50 or 60 k

  • Lol at all the playaz who dropped Krakwhore. Very knee jerk. He’ll slap out a ton this week.

    • Nathan Foley 2 weeks ago, glad i had faith.

    • 65 half way through the 3rd. You would think another 10 or so before three quarter time, and on target for a century.

      Don’t trade out premium rookies early.

    • Yeah, nah, I reckon that was a pretty good call.

      Well done to all the DT pro’s who backed in Krakhouse.

      • I kept faith in Kraks but not so with Foley- starting to wish i’d kept him.

  • Here’s my solution: In the multi-bye rounds: In the defs, pick 8 players; in the mids, pick 7 players; in the fors, pick 8 players and the worst scorer doesn’t count. I think the coaches will lobby for byes next year – I think they’re here to stay and for a significant number of newer (and veteran) players to stay interested, something has to change.

  • Gram had to be in there with his 54 and matera’s first 3 quarters and dixon only scoring 7 points!

  • The AFL website has gone horribly backwards apart from the new teams page, I like that. But everything else is just scattergun everywhere.

    After 2170 last week im 1270/18 with Swan (c) Pendles Libba and Krak whore to come.

    Worst score ever coming up!

    • looks like i might scrape 1700 with a couple of donuts..i wonder what par is this week.

  • Very humerus, some truly great analogies in this article.

  • didak or pavlich? pav seems to be more consistent but feel didak’s best is better

    • pav has a beautiful run ahead(richmond, west coast, port and the saints) while collingwood have the bye and geelong coming up, go pav :)

      • probably cant make it til round 9 though… same thoughts?

      • Not sure west coast is as easy to as last year – they play a defensive style this year that limits opposition possessions. No one from Melbourne cracked a ton (though they were awful) and no one apart from Franklin and Mitchell did anything when Hawthorn played them.

  • goodes should be in the duds. i know it was wet, but 46 points.

    • Watching some of that game Goodes, Judd and Betts were the only one on the whole field with reliable hands, I was stunned to see Goodes got only 46

  • Bloody hell, this rounds a shocker!
    six doghnuts in my forwards :( :( :( :( :( :(

    Pavlich, Franklin, Chapman, Higgins, Prestia, Richardson, what a load of bullshit.

    Any ideas on what Higgins’ injury is like?? Serious?

    I’m really stuck in the mud, I’m a first year DT’er, and I made stupid desiscions to start with, so I’m now on 16 trades remaining so I think my seasons as good as over…..


    • Nah, Higgins is just soft as shit. Soreness? Probably broke a nail, does it every year!

  • Watch the replay of the ANZAC day match and you will find the magpies were butchered by the umps. One incident involving Harry O’Brien in the third quarter was ridiculous. Maybe you should watch the replay and change your opinion! Good article on the other hand

    • sorry mate! it’ll be a bombers v magpies debate – maybe its best left alone ;)

      • all good mate, just sick of people saying that collingwood get a good deal with the umps when we get the same deal as everyone else. enjoyed the article, keep up the good work!

        • I know the O’Brien incident you mean… got a handball from Maxwell in mid air, tackled before he landed, ended up handballing an instant later but pinged in the meantime. I’d love to see the Geisch explain his way through that one!

          • nothing was worse than montagnas deliberate out of bounds..he kicked it 60 meters into space and it hit the point and rolled another 15 and he gets pinged!

          • Don’t worry, the Geisch will have an explanation for it and how correct the ump was………always does. Classic example was the Port vs GC game when the clock was going but the game was!!!

          • Sorry…..”clock wasn’t going but game was.”

  • just had to second (and third and fourth) your comments on the AFL web page!! i agree with all you said and am glad to find it’s not just me :-)

    didn’t find a way to move Krak on …am i now to be happy about this??

  • Perth- delayed friday night football. nuff said

  • Traded krak for didak… should I trade to get him back in??

    • Haha. Bad luck brother. Still can’t believe you traded Didak in after last weeks score though.

  • Would should i downgrade duigan to and who should i upgrade from Dawes. Any suggestions would be nice

    • I’m considering Duigan -> Luke Thompson which would make you about $83k which would then get you any forward except Chapman if you want to trade out Dawes. I might go Didak -> Chapman.

  • little bit off-topic but i feel as though on of the most underrated DTers in the league is David Mundy. He’s got an average of 114 so far this year with a lowest score of 87 and a highest of 134. Seems to be consistent? He also has the ability to score good against good sides with a 134 against the Cats in Rd2 and a 120 coming this weekend against the Doggies.

    Your thoughts?

    • I would love to bring the Munster in. Got a bit of a thing about multi bye teams tho. Probably kidding myself.
      Perhaps could have gone him over north Swallow at the start of the year.

      • yeah i agree, wish i had picked him at the start of the year. would’ve been a unique pick for sure

  • yes only dropped from 380 to 451 from a score 1816

    was expecting a lot worse

  • Krakwhore, you little slut. 22k price rise, and a nice low BE for the next fortnight. <3

    Might spend the kitty to upgrade you.

  • Man I’m pissed with Krakour!! Had him from day 1 ofcourse but he’s the stuff of nightmares. Yeah he gave me a bone a dog couldn’t chew in round 1, screwed me in round 2 when he only played 1 quarter as sub but still scored nearly 5o points in that quarter so ofcourse I started him again round 3, he has a shocker, I back him to bounce back round 4 but again screws me with a shocker… gets his ass dropped last week and I’m glad of it… then I make the woeful decision to not even stick the big “E” on him out of sheer spite, and not even sure if he’ll play and if so for how long so I opt for richardson instead as my emergency, not realising he’s been dropped. Higgins is a late ommision, my replacement cops the big donut and right next to him on my bench is Kraks lazy 113 staring me in the face which could have turned my first woeful score for the year somewhat respectable. And whats with Roo, yeah so what he went off in the 3rd quarter, talk about having the st.kilda schoolgirl on his mind, I think she’s posessed him and is now actually playing thru him. All he needs is a skirt to complete the job.
    On the upside I’ve had darling, heppel and pendles from day 1 and curnow from day 2 and am still ranked about 1700 despite this dire week. Ahhh feels better getting all that out, now whether to pick the little prick again next time the pies play!

    • dont feel too bad i traded krakwjore out thinking his spot in the pies team will always be a lottery whether he plays each week and how long for, i just hope pendles and swans quiter than normal game helped krak get 113 and it wont happen again, cause i aint getting him back now i used one trade on him already