The Knee-Jerk: Round 4

The round 4 knee-jerk comes at the end of a week full of apologies. We have had Jack Riewoldt apologising for being a tool, Moloney apologising for being a drunken tool, and Ross Lyon apologising for being a coach of tools. But for mine the guy who should have been apologising the most has been conspicuous in his silence. As a fellow bald man I cannot, nay will not accept Billy Brownless and the new rent-a-feathers he has bought for the top of his bald head. When one of our bald brethren sells out and re sods their field they have lost me forever…. What else has had me knee-jerking this round so far?


Andrew Krakouer (40)

Krakouer is testing mine…and I’m sure 200,000 other coaches patience out there. He was just horrible this week, roaming around looking disinterested and lazy. If he keeps this sh*t up I’ll throw him into solitary confinement…via the trade button. To be honest I’m amazed he didn’t get subbed,  Lift your game son! I reckon he is in more trouble than the pop-o-matic bubble. Dropped next week.

Dean Cox (79)

What the?  This came from nowhere….Cox was in world beating form so when he travelled down to The Brothel (Aurora) DT’s sluttiest points venue against 2 spud rucks we all had visions of a 150 at least! Needless to say those who have captained him would be a tad disappointed. If he pulls another couple like that my rucking division will become a coxless pair as he bites my trade button.


Jobe Watson (111)

Surely the Watson wagon must be saddled up and ready to go by now. He has transformed himself from a SC specialist into a DT force thanks to some offseason tutelage from Greg Williams. Looks like he picked up all diesels skills but none of the turd like tendencies. Jobe’s kick to handball ratio has gone through the roof and he is now also kicking goals in his spare time. The captaincy has given him a third leg also. Those who worry about the round 24 bye must remember he will still get you into the GF, that’s the first thing you need to worry about.

Chris yarran (85)

After a quick pit stop the Yarran bandwagon is back on the road. After the atrocious round one effort people were either trading him out or have already done it but I reckon the amount of times this guy gets spoon fed the ball is perfect for points scoring. At his initial price I’m staying on for the ride. All aboard!

Friday captains curse

Dane Swan (131)

What can we say about Swan that hasn’t already been said…? He runs like a flogged horse, he’s never kicked a proper drop punt in his life and he’s got a body without one ounce of muscle tone or shape yet somehow he is called a champion. Swan burst out of the gates and for a second week I thought the Friday night captain curse had been blown out of the water. Then all of a sudden after half time he just stopped and I began to think Cox was the right option.  As always the DT slut came out in the final quarter and made everything look rosy again. I’m so sick of trying to justify why I don’t have him and cringing each time he gets a stat……..bring on the bye so I can buy you Dane! The Friday captain’s curse will recommence once Collingwood stop playing Friday nights…

Other news

Scott Pendlebury (121)

On Friday night Scott Pendleburyreluctantly stopped tweeting for a few moments to pump out a quick fire 121. He loves that twitter feed so much it’s any wonder he has time to train. Or do his hair.I don’t know much about twitter, or trending but theres one trend that I hope never goes out of fashion; women wearing tight gym pants around the streets as normal pants. Keep that one up girls!

Mark Harvey

As if our score wasn’t going to be low enough this round with the dreaded multi byeMark Harvey saw fit to make our score even Lower by relegating said player to the emgencies, here’s hoping not too many of you scored a purple glaze donut from that little manoeuvre.

Damien Hardwick

Brett Deledio continued his week on / week off form. Coincidently his scores stay down whilst in defence then go up when he’s in the middle. Reckon there is a hint in there somewhere dimma?

Jack darling (100), Dyson Heppell (90), Ed Curnow (90), Nick Duigan (93)

Special mention goes out to these four lads who stepped up to the plate in our hours of need.  They have performed so well that they will have the Ottens, the Kraks and the knights looking over their shoulders come next week.

You know when you see a hot chick walking down the street and you think man she’s smokin! Then she walks past a shop window and looks at herself while adjusting her skirt or hair..It kind of ruins her whole image. I’m getting kinda sick of seeing  Daisy Thomas checking himself out on the big screen after he does anything on the field. Always without fail he is there with hands on hips, sucking in the big ones while looking at the screen…save it for the replay at home Daisy.

An update on Chris Judds mouthguard from last week.  Advertising agencies are fighting over the rights for a revolutionary new mouthguard that looks like real teeth. It has been trailed in and around the Collingwood area and has proven to be a runaway success.

Commentary of the round so far goes to Michael Christian who when asked how many clearances he thought there had been in the game so far gave the answer “a numerous number” Nice one Michael, you really have mastered that English language.

Bring on the rest of the round!

Anyone else have any knee-jerks for the round so far? Vent them here!


  • yep picking krakouer has been a mistake…..with pathetic b2b scores he is a definite trade in the next few weeks

    • yeh that guys going for sure
      krak out for prestia anyone?

      • Krakouer for Petrie for me… I have ruck issues if I don’t

      • Cant see the logic in that brother…..Krackerbarrel spuds it for 40, and your thinking of trading him out for Pretia who spudded it for 38…

  • Dear Krakouer,

    I hope you enjoyed being a part of my team.
    Key word: Enjoyed.

    Your former coach.

  • Ryan Okeefe scored 68….not to good for 363 grand
    lets hope the young guns for gold coast put up some points on the board

  • Currently having my best round of the year even without the likes of Goddard, Joey, Boyd & Roo.

    Am sitting on 1430 with 8 to come from Sunday’s games. All thanks to the 4 super rooks mentioned above. Have Lower on field too so will get Ottens juicy 87 as emg. Glad I didn’t miss that.

    Krakouer is making me lose my mind. So much talent and in a team that shares the ball so much. He looked like he was actively avoiding the pill Friday. Can’t wait til round 6 or 7 when I can swap him for Chappy or Dids.

    • same hey im on 1467, with 8 to play also.. this week is going to kick last weeks ass !! sucked in to anyone who has there side filled with saints dogs and lions.. so many fn good rooks..

  • Love having Darling, Heppell, Curnow, Smith and Duigan filling in for my guns

  • Who am I?

    I play for Collingwood.
    I went to jail in the past for my indiscretions.
    I played really well in the WAFL.
    Now that I’ve joined the AFL, I am what you now call a spud.
    I love scoring sub 50 DT scores.
    I am going to get traded in DT for a Gold Coast rookie who scores better than my piss poor scores over the 2 weeks because i am a spud.

    Have a Krak at that one (no pun intended)!

  • Several cracks in my team- but 1 real major Krak!
    I think he will get dropped for Mcaffer or even Dick.
    Regarding your loving the trend of women wearing tight gym pants around the streets, I kind of agree.
    2 years ago my mate was driving us to work, & I saw a women about 100kg wearing tight pink ones!
    As she walked it was “cellulite city!”
    I said to my mate, whatever you do, don’t look at the women across the road.
    Ofcourse he did and BANG! He smashed into the car in front!!!! (-:

    • the problem with trends is everyone jumps on :( even those who shouldnt wear tight pants. ill take the good with the bad though!

  • Krakouer on the field, Darling on the bench. 60 points gone to waste – that was his last time on my team!

    • +1

      With his pattern of DT scoring, he won’t even be a great cash cow!! Out you go!!!

  • The only reason I played Krakouer was because I thought, playing his old team, he’d want to have a good game and make a statement. Instead he was irrelevant.

    Traded asap.

    • My EXACT thought process too.

      Biggest issue I face now is ‘do I burn a trade to swap Krak for a diff cash cow?’

      As it stands, I wont have enough $$$ to upgrade Krak to a Chappy/Didak type premo unless he starts scoring.

  • I have numerous number of knee jerks some of them are cracks as good as those girls wearing tight gym pants like my fab 4 rookies darling curnow heppell duigan who i had as emergency for lower and then on the other side you have kraks someone needed to light a kracker under him the other night he appeared disinterested when he should have been fired up playing against the old team.. i was a bit annoyed with cox scoring 79 until i saw paddy ryder what happened there 56 points but only 3 players under 75 with the other player being shauny mac I am hoping to get over 2000 which I am happy with considering the talent on my pine

  • Krak is the obvious one, im glad i knee jerked on friday and booted johncock outta my team. IT felt great!

  • Good comment about Collingwood and teeth

  • Erm, that was Blight who said “numerous number”, not Christian. Malcolm’s never been the best at making stuff up as he goes, but he’s good at stuffing things up as he goes… I remember one call a few seasons ago in a Lions game he said about a player “he’s a great drop kunt pick”. A round of applause for Blighty!

    • ahh must have been having brain spasams at the time because im a bomber fan and the game was killing me!

      i love blightys theorys..they are always crazy

  • Problem with Krak is who to downgrade too? Not too many options up front. A few in the middle (Polec maybe?), but is it worth loosing the DP link up front. I’m looking at my team and thinking yes. If Krak is in the middle he can only swap with Prestia and Higgins, both whom have got those byes out the way.

    • Im thinking that too. If Broughton has another shocker I might have to use the trade on him first…maybe raise some cash from it to do the Krak > Didak trade in a few weeks

    • If you haven’t already got him, Jack Riewoldt is down 83,600 from his starting price, which has essentially made him a mid-pricer at 263,900. Krakouer is trading for 171,000 after rising about 31,000.

      Riewoldt has job security (barring any further stupid sideline antics) and has the ability to generate big scores. HIs 52 avg so far was hurt a lot by that unfortunate zero imposed by the concussion rule. He’ll be on the field every week (which is more than we can say for super-sub Krakouer) and if Hardwick starts letting Deledio up into the middle like he should, Jack will have good feed coming in.

      Overall the trade will cost you $92,900, but I think there’s upside in it. Just a thought…

  • I might just drop Krak to the bench and keep him if he turns things around which i know is possible becoz he can play, it may just be an advantage over those who used a trade to get rid of him early

  • unless mick was watching a different game, krakouer will be playing in the vfl next week. looked disinterested and lazy. either way he will be warming the pine next week

  • I’m going to drop Krak onto the bench and see how he goes because I have enough cover I can let him sit there for a while, maybe learn his lesson. Trades this week will probably be Broughton and Palmer depending on how they go today

  • I reckon Swan would have scored more in a little period of 5 minutes when he played forward than Krakouer did in 120 minutes. He was in everything, his team-mates looked for him every time the ball went down there and he took at least two marks, kicked it both times and scored a goal. Secretly I was thinking Why couldn’t that have been Krakouer? to make his score at least respectable. Krakouer wasn’t even presenting. What I really want in my team is a 5ft 6 60kg front and square ball watcher. Does anyone know where I can get one?

    • PmS: No more knee jerking for me, I’m making one more trade then waiting for cow culling season.

  • Lower being dropped was a blessing in disguise, it brought Duigan (93) into my team with great success.
    Picked Darling over Matera and can’t see Matera posting a bigger score than 100, so thats a win.

    • My thoughts exactly, knowing mark harvey if lower had of played he probably would have gotten a nice sub effected 40 and duigans score would be staring at us for the rest of the week

  • I traded out Andrejs Everitt two weeks ago but now I think I might trade him back in because Broughton is playing terribly and I could use the cash. I think he could be a 100+ average player. Thoughts?

  • I’ve just noticed Taylor Hunt, my favourite stone, has scored 63, 63, 80, 63. That shit is amazingly consistent. That has to be some sort of crappy record surely?

  • Cox captain and Krak on the field… lucky there is no league games 1400 – 5 in play 4 yet to play.

  • Broughton goooooooooooooooooooooooooooone. enjoy your last quarter…it will be the last you’re in my team

  • who would best to get for krakouer?
    would it be worth gettin libba for krakouer?

    • I’m thinking about it. He’s in my mids so he’s useless as a dpp cause he can’t replace anyone in mid or for. Hate the thought of paying well over the price but not really other mid rook options on the horizon and whatever ones do come along I’ll need to trade in for real cows.

  • Krakouer for the Anzac medal this week….if he plays !
    If Sheedy coached the Pies he would be a definite starter on Anzac Day…but he aint so who knows.
    I’ll back the Krak for another few weeks yet.

    • might hold on him for a little bit…i have a feeling hibberd will come in this week which will give us 2 weeks to see if hes any good or if kraks can pull the finger out

  • Broughton’s testing me, and everitt is goooooone.

  • hibberd was the third best player for bendigo bombers on the weekend, should be close to callup for the dons.

  • Suban injured, replacing him with Scarlett
    Jack Darling with 100….but he was on my reserves!
    Lower gets a 0, but my Sub Andy Otten replaces him with a nice 87
    This week i gotta put on the bench Tapscott, Goods. Cox, Darling and Grimes

  • What would you do in my situation.

    Rucks: I have Z Smith, D Jolly, D Cox and T Derickx

    Should I take a dohnut this week or do I trade out Jolly. I am leaning towards trading out Jolly and eating into my $142,700 and getting a premo in Sandi. Or should I be looking at a mid pricer Ruck, my gut tells me I need a lock and load option. I guess this would allow me to downgrade Z Smith when he is ripe for a dud and hopefully T Derickx is fit and can be a decent cover for me. I need your thoughts people I hate the Dohnut.

  • like many posters above, i’ve had enough of broughton scoring less than my rookie backs so he’s gone this week so krak can be upgraded to pav. question is – who is the better cash cow – coad (mature aged) or toy (who has the potential to get a lot of pozzies every week)?

    • Broughton averaging 0.8 points per game more than McKernan and is currently 73rd on the list of “Average per game” for defenders. Players ahead of him in the list include Stanley, Toy, Scott Thompson, Coad, Merrett, O’Brien, Nick Smith and Stefan Martin. That’s damning… see ya later Greg!