DT Dreaming with The Cuz

Posted by Warnie on 21/7/10 • Categorised as General

A Cautionary tale of what not to do in DT Land!

Part 1 – Calvins Captains

By Cousins Coke n Ice

It was the best of times… It was the worst of times… WTF! Who am I kidding! There are no best of times stories to write after the pathetic DT year I am having!

Round 16
Year: 2010

It was the end of this round that I went searching for the delete button on my DT team. How much worse could it possibly get. For the third week in a row, I had locked in Ablett Junior as captain. WTF was I thinking! Before I go on, Ill bring you up to speed on why your reading the dribble your reading now.

3 Weeks ago I endured what I can only describe as a ridiculous amount of pain. It all started 11 years ago when I dislocated my shoulder playing for Irymple in the Sunraysia Football League. I went to see a surgeon who informed me that ill be $4000 outta pocket if I wanted to fix it properly. Being the stubborn 18 year old who had just moved out of home, I decided that I would not bother wasting my money on such scurrilous surgery, I mean that’s a lot of nights out with the boys on the frothos chasing skirt, something I was much more interested in than playing football! This decision of mine would in future lead to a shoulder that was looser than Barry Halls temper so it was decided that (with the benefits of Private Health insurance and heaps of sick leave up my sleave!) I would finally get fixed what I should have all those years ago.

Anyway, my old mate Warne “+4” Dawg Shoots me an SMS yesterday “hey man, You still layed up in bed? If ur bored and feel creative….feel free to write an article for our website! We are massively under the pump with work!” Seriously, school teachers in Tassie busy? Being the obliging bloke that I am, and the fact that I am sick to death of Watching Ellen and Oprah being stuck at home chewing down morphine tablets, I figured, what the hell! It’s the least I could do for them seeing as I take more than I give from this site!

Thinking of what more I could possibly offer up for the gents that they don’t already provide the masses, I started thinking about my season as Coach of the infamous team “Cousins Coke n Ice” and got to thinking, there just has to be a cautionary tale I could tell that will help all the followers in DT Talk world in not making the same stupid decisions I made all year! So sit back and relax, and enjoy my first ever lesson for anyone interested in reading on!

Where it all began. Selection – Pre Season – 2010.

“Who is the smart one now??!!” I thought to myself as I surveyed the awesome team that I had assembled prior to round 1. Forums all over the internet are running hot on who is the better walk up start to have in your team for Captain selection. Being the Twilight era, some knob jockey decides to coin the phrases “Team Ablett” and “Team Swan”. “Wankers” I thought to myself as I read the forums posts. Why would you consider picking between the two of them! Pick Both! Oh Yes, Cousins Coke n Ice, You are a genius! No one would think for a second to pick both of them up! Yeah Ya! Top 500 here I come!

Captain Selection – You have both, easy pick yeah!

Each week, some Pirate who calls himself “Calvin” gives all the Lazy pricks in DT World a heads up on who is the best choice for captain selection based on simple Math. Without going into the logistics of how Calvin puts this together, I look at this Weekly column as a differential tool. Who is the guy that Calvin is tipping the rest of the world into! That will be my point of difference. Don’t follow Calvin!

With Calvins Captains regularly hitting 1000 votes and more per week, I have noticed that “Team Swan” has been the most popular pick in the recent weeks. Why don’t I do something different I think to myself, I have Swannie and “Sweet Merciful Jesus”! I know exactly what ill do, Ill not be the sheep that follows this pirate Mutha F#$ker and ill stick to old Boil Boy Ablett!

Long story short, I have seen my ranking slip from 12k (I know, not that good) out to 17,075 in the past 3 weeks and there is a direct correlation (along with a couple of injuries) between my decision to not heed the advice of that Pirate “Arghhhh Barghhhhsted” Calvin.

In the past 3 weeks, let’s look at the scores and the difference in what points I would have got if I had followed Calvin’s advice rather than try and be cool and follow the beat of my own drum!

Calvins Choice Rd 14: Swan #1, Ablett #3

Points Scored:

Swan – 161
Ablett – 108

Calvins Choice Rd 15: Swan #1, Ablett#3

Points Scored:

Swan – 141
Ablett – 109

Calvins Choice Rd 16: Swan #1,Ablett Not Rated!!!!

Points Scored:

Swan – 138
Ablett – 81

The differential in points in just the past 3 weeks by changing the captain to Swan as per Calvin’s advice would have tallied me a total of 142 more points in just the past 3 weeks alone! 142 points does not sound like much does it? Well, let me tell you, after clicking on the Overall ladders page for 20 minutes to get to where my ranking would be, I was surprised to see that 142 points is a difference of 2583 positions in the world! That’s 2583 people I coulda shoulda woulda been in front of at this stage of the season!

So, the point of my rambling above is simple. YOU MUST FOLLOW Calvin’s Captains! It could be the difference between winning or losing league matches or even the entire comp!

Calvin, “Moving forward” (Thanks Ranga Gillard!) I will pay your column the respect that it deserves. My apologies for not keeping the faith and attempting to re invent the wheel myself!

So which team did you start on? Did you start with a Swannie, or did you kick off with Ablett, or were you real smart and begin the season with both?! Depending on how well this is received, I may write more!

Cheers

Cousins Coke n Ice.

Sorry, there are no polls available at the moment.

429 Comments

Patto.
July 21, 2010 • 10:12 pm

Started with neither, have both now. Swan locked as C this week.
- geebang
  July 21, 2010 • 10:34 pm
  
  same here
  - Nudge
    July 22, 2010 • 11:19 am
    
    Yep, started win none of them, only Bartel, picked up Swan $58k below his starting price and Ablett about $15k below starting price, also Montagna & Selwood, well below value. Just traded Barlow & Zeibel 2 weeks ago for Chapman & Dan Conners. Conners gone up $96k in last 2 weeks, woohoo.
- Jakey Cakes
  July 21, 2010 • 10:36 pm
  
  same, i had bartel as my go to captain at the start, then picked up swanny at 450k cha ching, and ablett for barlow (N) shocker
- DolceButRuthless
  July 22, 2010 • 10:51 am
  
  +1
LaHug
July 21, 2010 • 10:26 pm

Love a good vent! (Especially when it comes with a lesson)
howe2591
July 21, 2010 • 10:38 pm

Knew I had it won as soon as I saw you had locked in Ablett this week Cousins C&I! Go the mighty Darts!
jt368
July 21, 2010 • 11:07 pm

Shit, accidentally voted for Ablett when i started with Swan. Great write up btw.
Swamp Dragon
July 21, 2010 • 11:39 pm

I started with neither of them and still have neither of them and your points comparison got me thinking – what if I’d started with Swan rather than Pendlebury? (and “downgraded” Grundy to Malceski – that was a last minute change I’ve come to regret).

Well I worked out that I would have scored 825 more points so far – which would improve my ranking from 16,801 all the way up to 5,096 !!!

Lesson for next year – fork out the cash for a lock in captain
Calvin
July 22, 2010 • 12:51 am

Ha ha ha – you fool
Great write up, but I think the irish pirate has a mental illness as well.
Gary should be back this week.. surely
Calvin’s top5/poll is updated ready to roll at lunch time today (Thurs)
Sandgropers
July 22, 2010 • 1:03 am

at least you’re still having a crack & you haven’t given up which is more than can be said for paul briggs.
- Chops
  July 22, 2010 • 6:33 am
  
  No joke that was ridiculous
Reecefm
July 22, 2010 • 2:53 am

i started with Swan this year, then he didnt have much form at the start but is picking up good now,

btw Chapman if you have him he always carves brisbane apart (im a lions member) and everytime he plays us hes great.

and abletts at skilled too now. for some reason he doesnt like to play us at the gabba.

im going to go 1st Swan, then 2nd Chappy, then 3rd Ablett.
Chops
July 22, 2010 • 6:33 am

started with neither now have them both … how did i have neither what was i thinking
tkol
July 22, 2010 • 7:46 am

Starting midfield included Swan Montanga Ablett Bartel Barlow ..
Hence i am 21st overall…
Guns N Rooks , its a winning formula!
- tkol
  July 22, 2010 • 7:46 am
  
  I had chapman from round 1 too!
bilbo
July 22, 2010 • 8:11 am

where did Calvins captains go? or is it just my comp?
- Superted
  July 22, 2010 • 8:26 am
  
  see calvin’s comment above
Crows
July 22, 2010 • 8:43 am

I hear you Cuz…I did the same thing….backing Ablett saying he is due to go ballsitic…going against the mental pirate haha!!! I have had to officially denounce Ablett as captain and make Swanny the new captain for the rest of the year…he is my new lock in….now watch Ablett burn me lol…he ill probably get some ridiculous score this weekend….200
- Leigh (aka Cousins Coke n Ice)
  July 22, 2010 • 11:09 am
  
  Do yourself a favour mate and just follow Calvins Advice! You cant go wrong! If he comes back and says that Ablett is his first choice, Ill be sticking with GC bound bald superstar!
tkol
July 22, 2010 • 9:25 am

Not long now until the final 64 draw opens for all to see!
edge
July 22, 2010 • 10:11 am

eliminator matchups are UP – good luck to anyone in top 64

ME: HER

gilbert vs hunt or webberley
waters vs hargrave
hayes vs bartel
kornes vs j.selwood
didak vs gia
cyril vs rockliff or brown

obviously anything can happen at this stage… flip a coin / cross the fingers.

hoping that the aker stuff distracts the doggies and the cats beat the lions easily enough that brown / rockliff don’t see the footy and bartel gets nicely rested on the bench for much of the game
- tkol
  July 22, 2010 • 10:31 am
  
  Good luck Edge… Mines a real tough one!
  
  Scotland vs WCE Duffield vs WB
  Enright vs BL Gilbee vs FRE
  Carrazzo vs WCE Malceski vs MELB
  Bartel vs BL Simpson vs WCE
  Gibbs vs WCE Judd vs WCE
  Cox vs CARL McIntosh vs ESS
  Didak vs RICH Chapman vs BRIS
  Gia vs FREO Higgins vs FREO
  Rockliff/Brown vGEEL Franklin vs STK
  
  I would be suprised with a win!
  - tupperware
    July 22, 2010 • 10:57 am
    
    Apart from Malceski and Franklin.. its pretty much your’s from my guess!
  - leegend
    July 22, 2010 • 11:04 am
    
    I thought you had chappy
    - tkol
      July 22, 2010 • 11:42 am
      
      I traded him for Didak in the second half of the split round when Chappy was rested.
  - orbs
    July 22, 2010 • 12:00 pm
    
    Good Luck TKOL!
    
    On paper and form i would say he has you, but it really could go either way.
    
    Would be good for a DT TALKs own to come through with the goods.
  - Chartreuse
    July 22, 2010 • 4:14 pm
    
    Edge vs Tkol eliminator final…if that were to happen, that would HAVE to get special DTtalk coverage!!!
    
    Perhaps a boxing style interview with each trying to psych the other out?
DolceButRuthless
July 22, 2010 • 10:56 am

wish i was still in it.. good luck boys, i think u both have a good chance!
Janine
July 22, 2010 • 1:29 pm

Great article! Thanks Cuz
- Sandgropers
  July 22, 2010 • 2:38 pm
  
  agreed hope you continue with it. it wasn’t you taking your frustrations out on swanny was it cuz?
- Leigh (aka Cousins Coke n Ice)
  July 22, 2010 • 6:15 pm
  
  Cheers Neenie.
  
  Nah Sandgropers, I have Swannie so I love the bloke! The idea of the peice was to explain that not following calvin and trying to think outside the square cost me!
eeepo
July 22, 2010 • 6:56 pm

Good stuff Leigh!
I’ve recently climbed from 17,000 to 8050 odd!
My “core” team was good from start, but the rookies I chose made a big difference!
E.g Relton Roberts over Pods, Luke Shuey & JKT.
Could’ve had Bastinac & Tregove instead, (& less $ in the kitty.)
Coulda, Shoulda…….haha.
Mate, goodluck with your shoulder/rehab.
Having had 3 ops on dislocated left shoulder, I feel your pain!
Subluxed my right shoulder at work 4 months ago, havn’t worked since, developed into a “frozen shoulder!”
I am having Physio/”dry needling,” 3 times a week, over $2,000 out of pocket already & still 4-8wks away from going back to work on light duties.
SO YEAH, All the best mate with your recovery mate!
- Leigh (aka Cousins Coke n Ice)
  July 23, 2010 • 10:30 am
  
  Cheers Big fella! Shoulder Reco’s are no fun at all. When I heard Robbie tarrant had had 3 already, man did i feel for him! Frozen Shoulder would suck balls! Hope it gets better for you mate sooner rather than later!
  - eeepo
    July 23, 2010 • 12:29 pm
    
    Many thanx! Let’s hope we will both be confident in taking overhead marks again, asap!
    But being 42yrs old, i think my chances of playing AFL are long gone!
    I hope you get to write more posts-help keep you sane & make the hours/days go quicker!
Birdy
July 22, 2010 • 7:25 pm

somehow i never noticed swan getting good scores, this is my first year. when i finally noticed him, he was out of reach
nsanityy
July 23, 2010 • 7:34 am

nice to see cuz coke n ice get a post – solid read! get well soon!

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