“What’s the point of talking about rookies at this stage of the season?” was the question posed by Dan in the Price Check column comments yesterday. I reckon he was rocking the rhetorical, but I’ll give him an answer anyways: I can’t help it! I have a medically diagnosed obsession with following the Dream Team fortunes of first-year footballers in the AFL. Take a typical conversation at DT Talk head office, for example.
Chook: Hey Tit-Ed, can you pass me another sausage Rioli?
Tit-Ed: Oh, for f&%$’s sake. What do I look like to you? Some Bird who waits on you hand and foot? Get off Kreuzer control, you lazy Jack-off!
Chook: Geez, sorry Tit-Ed. I was going to take a Gamble and ask you to grab the sauce and Tippett on, too, but forget about it.
Tit-Ed: You Wona go!? Talk to the Palmer of my hand, cause the Head ain’t listening.
Chook: Sorry, Tit. Look, don’t get upset. I don’t won’t you to chuck another Geary. You’re my Mayne man. And the sausage Riolis look over the Hill anyway. Must’ve been in the Sellar too long. Let’s Tuck into the beers instead and be Dunn with it.
Tit-Ed: All White, sounds like a plan.
And just as you were beginning to think that Chook’s Rooks couldn’t go any Lower. Anyway, the point is that, yes, Dan, there is little point in talking about rookie breakevens and the like at this stage of the season. Instead, we’re this week opening the voting on the 2008 All-Rookie Team, as voted by Chook’s Rooks readers. We’ll start with the backs and then move on to mids, forwards and piss-weak rucks in the lead-up to finals. Read on for your chance to vote for your favourite first-year defenders.
Check out the nominees below and list the seven rookie defenders you’d have in your All-Rookie dream team. When voting, consider things like frequency of selection, DT points production and then ”X factors”, like if you rate the way they play the game or if they came on and pinch-hitted for one of your injured stars earlier this year, leading you to a narrow DT win. That sort of thing.
All-Rookie Defender Nominations
Nathan J. Brown: The most consistent of all the rookie defenders, having played every game in 2008 so far. The problem is, from a DT perspective, he’s consistently shit, averaging a miserly 35 points per game (ppg).
Austin Wonaeamiri: The Demon forward famous for his goal celebrations is better known in DT circles as the best cash cow in the backs. Wona has made more money than anyone in this category, with a total change of $189,700. Avergaes 68 ppg.
Garrick Ibbotson: The Freo office lady told Warnie that Garrick was no chance this year, but he proved the bitch wrong, racking up a 72 ppg average - the highest of any rookie back this year.
David Myers: The high draft pick didn’t debut until round 7 and was just starting to hit his straps when he was struck down by injury in round 14. Averaged 60 ppg over his eight games this year.
Gavin Urquhart: Didn’t get a gig until round 10, but has been solid since, averaging 68 DTs for a team that, traditionally, hasn’t been kind to rookies. Went ahead in the Urquhart v Armfield battle even before Dennis did his finger.
Dennis Armfield: Debuted the same week as Urquhart, with both nabbing exactly 133 points each in their first two games. While the Kangaroo kicked on, the Blue busted a finger, dropping his average to 46 and forcing him to sit out the past two games. Dashing Dennis is listed as test this week, though.
Scott Selwood: Riding a promising pre-season and the coat-tails of brother Joel’s brilliant rookie year in 2007, Scott was the most selected first-year defender in DT this season. He earns a nomination because, despite playing just two average games, he remains in more teams than any other rookie back with 41,127 selections.
Harry Taylor: The tall defender has missed four games this season, but managed to maintain a healthy 62 ppg average in that time (inluding a season-high 87 in round 13, the week I traded him out for the since-injued McLeod. Grrrr, as Warnie likes to say).
Darren Pfeiffer: Eased back pain for a lot of teams during the first half of the season, averaging a respectable 56 ppg in six games from rounds 2-9.
Tom Lonergan: I know he’s a forward, but you can only pick him as a defender in DT, so he has to come under consideration in the All-Rookie Backline. Started slowly in rounds 10 and 11, but has been good recently and boasts the only century of all the Chook’s Rooks defenders.
John Anthony: Played just the three games, but showed what he’s capable of with a 75 on his last outing, boosting his average to 51 ppg.
Tim Houlihan: Has played in every game for the Eagles since debuting in round 9. Started off in a blaze of DT glory, notching 74 that week. He then slumped with four consecutive scores in the 30-40 range, but has come good with recent scores of 60 and 70. Averages 51 ppg.
Beau Wilkes: Like Houlihan above, Wilkes has been a mainstay in the West Coast side since round 9. He averages 51 too, but his scores have flucuated alternately with Houlihan, meaning Wilkes has scrounged just 88 points over the past two games.
Matt Riggio: Has scored well in two of his seven games, busting out a 74 in round 11, and a 73 in round 8. The rest of his games have been rubbish, however, resulting in a disappnting 48 ppg average.
Tayte Pears: Cracked the Bombers side five times, scoring 29 on three occasions. I’d have dropped him, too, Knightsy. A 70-point game in round 5 props his average up to 42 ppg.
Nick Lower: Chad of Price Check fame’s boy. Began with an abysmal 18 but has improved markedly and, if Chad is to be believed, will play out the year with Port. Averages 44 over four games.
James Frawley: Started the season at $100k. A 40 ppg average doesn’t warrant the high price tag.
Albert Proud: Showed awesome DT potential in the pre-season, but has failed to crack the Brisbane line-up more than three times in the season-proper. When he did (in rounds 2, 3 and 7), he couldn’t break the 50-point barrier. Could get the chance to repay the faith of patient coaches soon, as his form in the lower league has been scintilating, apparently.
Scott D. Thompson: Probably the most maligned player in this category, due to the fact that he was one of very few rookie backs guaranteed a game in the first week (everyone remember the horrible Thursday kick-off to this year’s DT), but was dropped the very next round, not to be seen for another four weeks until his all-important second and third games. Oh, and then he was dropped again, only to return for two games in rounds 11 and 12. Averages 48 ppg over his in-and-out career.
Tom Collier: The Brisbane big man has strung together three consecutive games, averaging 45 ppg. Hey, it’s not outstanding, but that could be 45 more points than your trade-starved opponent if you’ve got him on the bench when Chad goes down in the DT finals.
Anyone missing? Don’t be afraid to nominate anyone else you think is deserving of a place in the All-Rookie Backline this year.
Note: Jake Edwards and Lachlan Hansen have been nominated for the All-Rookie Forward Line, as there’s a lot less of those boys. Oh, and I know some of these guys, like Lonergan, aren’t technically rookies, having played a few games in previous years, but I’ve included them because of their rookie price tag in DT.
Oh, by the way, my seven votes for the All-Rookie Backline go to:
Ibbo, Wona, Taylor, Urquhart, Lonergan, Brown and Proud.
The first two or three are easy, but it gets hard to pick very quickly. I’ve included Proud on his potential to score me a couple of 70s in the finals.
haha funniest post ever
Cheers, Roy. Hope the eye’s okay.
Maybe I could get a job working for destROY, too, as a scout?
Who are your top seven rookie backs for 2008, dude?
Wonnaeamirri, Taylor, Ibbotson… ah… Myers, Urquhart… picking a seventh is too difficult. Only the first three are really worthy of being bestowed any Dream Team Talk honours.
Ibbotson, Wonna, Urquhart, Taylor (all members of Warne Dawgs), Lonergan, Brown, Myers…
Myers makes it over Proud for me Chook - looked better, didn’t trick me with pre-season form - more likely to get a gig at Bombers…
The little f*&ker tricked the shiz out of me, Warnie. I honestly thought he’d step up. You’ve got some good form with rookie backs, dawg. Maybe you should apply to be Roy’s backs coach?
hahaha, good shit chook
ibbo, wonna, urquhart, taylor, houlihan, myers & armfield for me.
only put houlihan in there cuz he scored me 60 and 70 while mcleod’s been out.
Yeah… my backs have stressed the hell out of me this year… thank god for Wonna, Ibbo, Urquhart and HT doing their jobs for me!!
Wona, Ibbo, Taylor, Brown, Urquhart, Myers and Tom Long
Funny stuff
Once again I must state that ‘Dan’ is not me
I have a supercoach team I am playing with for fun - I created it at the start of the season and left it alone to mature for 10 weeks…
So I used zero trades for 10 weeks.
Now I have been doing some trading - I have 9 trades left and scored 2100 last week
So I want some playing rookies to downgrade to so I can upgrade 3-4 more players …
So ‘real Dan’ requests you keep the bubble boys flowing…
Dan (real).
btw: Wona and Urquhart have been excellent for me…
No sweat, “real” Dan.
Honestly, though, Roos forward Ben Ross and Dees ruck Stefan Martin are the only two-gamers worth looking at this week, and I’m not sure either will see the year out.
For the record, Ross has a b/e of -42 after a 24 and 83, while Martin has a b/e of -37 after 37 and 65.
Wonaeamiri, Ibbotson, Houlihan, Taylor, Urquart, Lonergan, Myers.
Am I a real Dan?????
I think so, but I’m not sure now!!!
Wona, Ibbo, Urquart, Tayler, Lonergan, Houlihan. I’ll also give Brown a go, even tho he’s rubbish in DT the guy can play & 35 is better then 0.
Chook, I still have some trades & i’m looking to downgrade a forward, is Ben Ross the best option if named?
Wona, Ibbotson, Taylor, Longergan, Myers, Urquart, Brown
Chook - Ross is in the gunsight … need to get rid of Rioli to get $$$ and upgrade one of my forwards…
thanks
Here is the other funniest post I’ve read today
http://www.dockerland.com/index.php?option=com_fireboard&func=view&catid=1&id=264302#264302
@ Dan The Man
You’re ‘Dan The Man’
and i’m just ‘Dan’ 
not the ‘The Man’
Dan thanks for clearing that up, you are also ‘the man’, but to reduce confusion you’re dan, but your still the man….
Hmmm, that might make sense.
Like the idea of Ross as well, unless anyone knows better? cheers
Ibbotson, Wonaeamirri, Taylor, Lonergan, Pfeiffer, Myers, Urquhart
Wona, Ibbo, Myers, Urquhart, Taylor, Wilkes, and Browny purely for consistency
hahaha, dan, thats funny shit!
Chook, you are “taylor-made” for that kind of comedy.
Lachlan Hansen from North Melbourne? Frustrated many coaches for a second year in a row on the bench, but has been getting a regular game recently.
RD: Agree, mate, but I’ve got Hansen (bac/fwd) as a nominee for the forward line, seeing as there is less blokes to pick from down there.
Dans (men ones and otherwise): Ross is pretty much the only downgrade option on the forward line that hasn’t already bolted. Unless someone like fellow two-gamer Josh Smith gets named, I guess. Or you could spend a bit more and take a Lonergan/Valenti type. BTW, you Dans are funny f%^kers!
Big Jim: I know, it’s sad. I’ve regressed from dick jokes last week to pathetic and unfunny puns this week. My head is on the chopping block.
Daniel Rich let’s shorten that to Dan.
i reckon it goes:
Easily first: Ibbo
Close second: Wona
third: Myers
Fourth: Urquhart
Fifth: Harry Taylor
after this it gets tough, not many regular players. But ill go:
Sixth: The pope
Seventh: Your mum
Ibbo, Wona, Taylor, Urquhart, Myers, Lonergan, Pfieffer. Dissapointing because i had the choices at the time of Neagle or Myers in the backs and Armitage or Ibbo in the mids and i went Neagle and Armitage so they were bad rook choices. otherwise my rooks were reasonable.
How can you have an easy first and a close second? Its a contradiction.
agree with spuzzlord - although, how can you have an “easily first”, and then a “close second”?
The Pope was lucky to pip chooks mums, he’s too unselfish in front of goals often handballing off, and hardly ever lays a tackle.
beat me to it Lin!
hey, if i want to contradict myself in consecutive sentences thats my prerogative
sdelwood named this week. plus proud is an emergency and i reckon he’ll come in for simon black. then ill have a selection of backline emergencies. wow.
plus king isnt named - bad for most, good for me.
you missed out JAY NEAGLE hes better than that tayte pears hack
ADCOCK HAS A QUAD INJURY AND IS OUT!!!SHIT!!!HOW LONG WILL HE BE OUT 4???if his out 4 a while should i trade him 4 Hayes(that would leave me with just 1 trade)
Wonaeamiri, Ibbo, Myers, Urquhart, Taylor, Pfeiffer & Scotty DT, pretty much just for his name, if he’s still in your team you’d be absoloutely spewin
Wona
Ibbo
Myers
Urquart
Taylor
Nathan Brown (at least he gets a game every week, and the Pie ferals would whinge if he’s left out)
Pfeiffer (at least he got a game regularly for a while)
wonna,iboo,myers,urquart,taylor,wlkes,lonergan