If I mess up my own selections this week, I will not be doing this captain segment again! Kane, Kane and now Richo have killed me. Richo’s injured 48 was like poison on my already wounded body! Ok, this week it looks like it always does with the average of the player over the last 3 games Vs their opponent. Grab yourself a Bundy, kick back and enjoy!

Lets get warmed up with some league leaders that even Mathman would be proud of.

BEST DT SCABBERS (uncontested possies)- Kane, Corey, Mitchell, Carrazzo and Jordan McMahon.

BEST 4 POINTERS (tacklers)- Kirk, Jude Bolton, Ball, Cassisi, Hayes and Kelly.

BOOT KICKERS (kicks) -Didak, Marc, Bocky and Swan.

FOOT CATCHERS (marks) – Riiicho, Rievoldt, Clinton Young and Bocky.

TIME ON GROUND  – Heath Shaw 99% and Buddwood 98%

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Carlton Vs St Kilda

• Reivoldt – 97

• Hayes – 106

• Stevo – 74

• Marc – 76

• Judda – 72

 Gone cold Chris Judd is maybe battling injury but is definitely battling the DT scorer at the moment. In his last 3 this year he is only averaging a freezing 74. On the other hand, Stevo is going offa lately with scores of 121 and 122 in his last 2 games. But going offa even more than that is Nick Rievoldt! With scores of 125 and 138 featuring in his last 4 games Vs the Blues, he averages 140 in his last 2 games in 2008. Go Rieioivldlt. Hayes is a likely starter but double check that before you click him!

LAST TIME THEY MET: Rd 2 – Saints won by 40. Marc had 122 (23d, 6t), Gibbs 111 (26d, 12m), and Luke Ball 109. Hayes had 90 and Reivoldt had a little Waite on his back for his 82, but he’s pushing up the ground heaps these days and should be fine. Stevo knocked up 76 and Judd was tagged by Leigh Fisher for his small 56.

Collingwood Vs Adelaide

• Swan – 128

• Shaw – 112

• Thompson – 90

• Goodwin – 91

 Wholey shit! Swan shit! He has scored 100+ the last 4 times he’s played Vs the Crows with an average of 32t and 12m. Lock that in! Crows can’t even spell “tag”, get on him. Do it now! Shaw is an option as well as the Crows will leave him alone. He averages 112, but had 140 last time they met with 28t and 18m. Ohhh! Anyone buying tickets for this Shawrollercoaster?

Geelong Vs Fremantle

• Corey – 105

• Pav – 102

• Ablett – 92

• Bartel – 99

• Chapman – 83

 Oh Ablleettt! Umm … maybe… consider this! He was slightly off last week, but that was bound to happen after such an awesome run. He had 78 last week and had 76 Vs Freo in round 6 this year. Crowley gave him a heavy duty filthy tag and will do it again. The ump’s will be looking closer this time! Joel Corey has averaged 101 in his last 3 this year and in his last 2 games Vs Freo he has averaged 32t a game. Bartel had a huge 145 last week and should go ok. Chapman averages 83 here and has only scored 100+ 33% of the time this year. Boo! Pav has kicked a total of 9.3g in his last 2 Vs the Cats and averages a very healthy 102 and Rhys Palmer will get the Pink Pig rash this week like he did last time they met. Took him days to wash it off. Big question mark here is Ablett, who’s brave?

LAST TIME THEY MET: Rd 6 – Geelong won by 1. Sandilands whooped it with 128 followed by Pav’s 124 (5.4g). Corey had 112 and Ablett got his 76 from just 15d. Carr went to Bartel, as Jimmy had 85 and Chapman scratched up 83!

Essendon Vs Brisbane

• Brownie – 120

• Black – 106

• Stanton – 88

 Simon’s Black day continues. In his last 2 games he averages 62, but the good news is that he does average 106 here, along with 27d and 6t. Browndawg is like betting on the red dawg at Wentworth Park on a Monday night. He averages 120 in his last 4 Vs them and averages 20d, 12m with a total of 9.4g. Stanton…umm, no one cares! Go dawg!

Port Adelaide Vs Kangas

• Kane – 100

• Harvey – 94

• Chad – 82

 Harvey has averaged 102 in his last 3 games this year and might get the Kane tag.  Kane himself averages a solid 100 and knocked up 131 last week (41d). Back in early 2006, Kane had a massive 153 on the Roos (34d, 14m, 3t, 1g). Chad Chad Chad… what do we do with you? In 2 of his last 3 games this year he has had tiny scores of 44 and 50. Certainly hurting the big fella is. Cross his off you list, that’s if you haven’t already crossed him off your team list.

Hawthorn Vs Sydney

• Kirk – 103

• Hodge – 87

• Mitchell – 73

• Buddwood – 69

 Buddwood is struggling more than the AFL dream team show on the AFL website at the moment. That’s like watching a car crash, but less exciting! He averages 69 here and is not in anyones consideration, especially as they play the Swans. BUT! Sydney gave up 3 x 100+ scores last week. One being Didak 123 and Dane Swans 130. Unusual that’s for sure. Kirk is in Brownlow form at the moment with his last weeks score of 131 (29d, 9t) to with his previous scores of  114, 109, 101 he’s certainly the best in the form player here.

Western Dawgs Vs Melbourne

• Cross – 126

• Cooney – 94

• Green – 92

• B.J – 75

• Bruce – 81

 In his last 4 games Vs Melbourne, Cross has had 139, 102, 112 and 149 to go with his form, where he averages 115 in his last 2 this year. He averages 29t here and I’m saying … SOLD big fella! Brad Green continued his great year last week, when had another great score of 145 last week. A few here to consider, Nathan Jones not being one of them!

LAST TIME THEY MET:Rd 2 – Dawgs won by 95, yep ninety five! Cross had 139, Murphy 121 and James Mc 108. Green had 86 and B.J was tagged by Bruce who scored 43 playing full back most of the day. Cooney had 67 but lost 15 points in frees against.

West Coast Vs Riiichoo

• Priddis – 93

• Cox – 89

• Richo – 89

• Kerr – 95

45 disposals to Priddis last week for his 135 was ultra impressive as was Kerr’s 43d for his score of 111 (rather small with so many touches) – but he is in doubt as he still recovers from the sting ray barb. Priddis averages 93 here and should be worth a thought if you have him! Cox has been in great from on one foot still. 124 and 115 in the last 2 weeks gives his chances a great boost here for the #1 job! Richo, oh Richo! (headshake) I know you were injured big gun but… 48? As my captain? Why not, everyone else has been killing me. He has been in hot hot form before that, scoring 93+ in his last 11 games, until I gave him the C. Lift big gun, but you wont be giving me my double points this week. That’s if he plays… there are question marks ? like that one ? and that one.

CALVIN’S TOP PICKS FOR ROUND 14

1. DANE SWAN

2. DANIEL CROSS

3. JONNO BROWN

4. NICK REIVOLDT

5. JOEL COREY

ROUGHIES: HEATH SHAW, SIMON BLACK

With my personal captain not scoring above 80 in 3 weeks now, my new personal averages for me is …. 102.4 (but I do have a shit team to pick a gun from). Hey! But! My top 5 picks here each week have been awesome – I just don’t have any of them…. and YES I know I missed Ablett off the selections this week!

I am probably going BROWNIE or KANE CORNES at this stage so stay clear of them ha ha! – but seriously! Save yourself!