So you’ve wasted three days on FanPlanner stitching together a squad that, let’s be honest, is still a Jimmy Bartel or two short of scraping into your league’s top eight. Never fear, Pimp My Team is here. Send your half-baked teams to the DT Talk crew and we’ll run a blowtorch over it until it’s cooked on the inside and crispy on the outside. Hmm, DT tastiness!

First up is Nicho with his PowerLade lads.

PowerLade

Backs: Joel Bowden, Heath Shaw, Peter Burgoyne, Graham Johncock, Jesse Smith, Thomas Murphy, Lachlan Hansen

Centres: Adam Goodes, Chris Judd, Brock McLean, Jay Nash, Brent Prismall, Simon Buckley

Rucks: Brendan Lade, Troy Symmonds

Forwards: Nick Riewoldt, Jonathon Brown, Brett Deledio, Angus Monfries, Nick Gill, Sean Rusling, Jarryd Morton

Bench: Darren Pfeffier, Lachlan Henderson (BACK), Craig Bird, Beau Muston (CTR), John Meesen, Shaun Hampson (RUCK), James Sellar, Daniel O’keefe (FWD)

Bank: $276k remaining.

For having the balls to be the first DT coach thrust under the microscope, we promise to not be too brutal. However…

…what the Travis Tuck is Thomas Murphy doing in your starting 22? The same goes for Morton and Buckley. On the positive side, you’ve got a bucketload of cash left in the bank. Please, mate, spend some of it and put your rookies and $150,000k players back in their place: confined to the pine.

Once you’ve upgraded Murphy, Morton and Buckley, spend the remainder on your mid-range players. I know Jonathan Brown has big shoulders, but are they really broad enough to carry an entire dream team? Blokes like him, Riewoldt and Bowden - your out-and-out DT stars - need a little more back-up. You can obviously identify a jet; just beware of tapering off to quickly. And don’t be concerned about blowing all your dough - the boys you’ve assembled on the bench are bound to make you a handsome profit.

You’ve officially been pimped.

Want your team ‘pimped’?? Email it to: dttalk@hotmail.com