Keep your DT eyes off the duck Wayne Carey. His early NAB cup form leaves alot to be desired. Here is a quick statistical breakdown.

Smashing a glass in your hot girlfriends face: -3

Kicking a cop in the face: 3 (he does have a famous foot)

Punching a cop: 0 (he is lucky Shaq wasnt on duty. For those who dont know, Shaq, the 7 foot 150+ kg centre for the Miami Heat is some kind of rookie cop on miami beach. Shaq diesel wouldnt have put up with that shit)

Smashing his head against the window in the cop car: -3 (Get a grip man)

His sexy girlfriend has moved back home to Tassie about 5 mins from us: 12 (Thats equal to a mark, kick, goal in my eyes)

So Wayne wayne go away, kick a cop another day.

We will say hi to your GF for you.

Posted by Roy | 3 Comments »

The statisticians may be yet to record their first marks, kicks and dreaded free kicks against in season 2008, but don´t be fooled: the months of January and February can be crucial periods for die-hard Dream Team coaches. The AFL rumour mill is already being cranked up by newspapers like the Herald Sun, message boards like BigFooty, blogs like this one and other ¨reliable sources¨, like the bloke across the road whose cousin has a girlfriend who works in the gift shop at Punt Rd. By the time the season proper begins, you´ll have heard over and over which players are ¨guaranteed¨ to finally deliver on their rich potential, which players ate all the pies at Christmas, and which rookies already miss their mums.

Some of these news bites are helpful. Knowing that someone has missed half the preseason through injury, for example, will be a deciding factor come Dream Team draft time. Most of it, though, is bullshit that will have absolutely no bearing on your team selection. You can try to ignore it, but the bloke across the road who´s been banging on about Hamish McIntosh all summer knows where you live. Taking a leaf out of the book of Vin Vin, who took the extreme step of escaping to the US to ensure that only critical AFL info reached him, I pissed off to Peru for three weeks in January.

Here, no one has heard of Chris Judd, let alone whether his girlfriend is enjoying the improved shopping conditions in Melbourne. Amazingly, the Ben Cousins drug scandal was completely overlooked by the Peruvian media. In Australia we´ll enjoy a steak and sausage barbecue followed by a gung-ho game of Aussie Rules. In Peru it´s guinea pig and alpacca before the soccer. The closest Peruvians can get to the AFL is watching NFL on cable TV, which isn´t very close at all considering 55% of them live below the poverty line and can´t afford cable.

So, how will this self-imposed exile from all things AFL help my DT chances this year? Well, for one, I´m going to listen to the rumours less and go with my gut a lot more this season. The gut says that guinea pig needed more salt. It also says that the Juddernaut just might be as good as the Carlton faithful hope he will be, but not as quickly as they expect him to be. I´ll reserve judgement until after the pre-season, but I reckon he´ll be ripe for the picking around round 4 or 5.

Other than that, this South American sojourn made me realise that crap players are too easily tolerated in Australia. Here they trash the houses and burn effigies of poorly performed players. Sounds awesome! We´re going to need a lot of life-sized cardboard cut-outs of Kepler Bradley, though.

Posted by Chook | 10 Comments »

Ok, firstly the big unit will already start at a healthy price. So it’s probably an issue of whether or not you want to buy Brown ($368k) as a “Major Mega Money Man” along with other big cash guns such as Bartel, Cornes, Cox, Gablett….. but obviously you will only be able to afford 2 or 3 of these guys anyway.

Last year, Brown-dawg entered the season with a massive cloud over his head on whether or not his body (mainly his back) would hold up for the full season after he missed 3 months in ‘06. But in 2007, he put together 22 consecutive games!!!!

By the end of ‘07, big Browneye had hit top form. “Last year he didn’t start running until January, and didn’t hit full fitness until July,” said Mr. Penfold (Brisbanes conditioning and strenght coordinator) not to be confused with Danger Mouse’s faithful side kick Ernest Penfold.

“His last few pre-seasons were the same, but this year he has hit January in great shape and he should enter the season in full fitness! He has had 5-6 weeks of very solid work,” Mr. Penfold said. “He will certainly be alot fitter than he was last year.”

Penfold went on to say, “He will be like the red coloured greyhound, busting out of the 1 box at Wentworth Park, but only fitter, faster and stronger than all the other dogs…. and kicking goals.” Nah, I made that bit up, but my point is…. Look out DT fans, cause J.B is ready to roll.

 click-here-for-old-time-sake.mp3 - Might not work cause I’m shit at this stuff!!

Posted by Calvin | 9 Comments »

There has been an update on the AFL website where you can register your interest for the 2008 Dream Team Cometition so you are notified as soon as it is open for registration. It is important to note (and this probably goes for just about everyone who reads this website)… If you have previously taken part in the AFL Dream Team, there is NO NEED (and will not be possible) to register your interest again. You will automatically be notified and receive your Login details once the new games have opened. So, if you for some reason haven’t ever been in the AFL Dream Team competition before, then click the below link and register your interest!

 http://afl11.virtualsports.com.au/?p=register2

Posted by Warnie | 2 Comments »

Carltons ”big fella” and number 1 recruit Matthew Kreuzer is expected to be unleashed in the Round 1 NAB Cup clash against Port Adelaide next month. All dt eyes should be having a look at the new “special k” (that title used to be koutas) to see how he looks and whether it looks like he will be number 1 ruckman. Ruckmen are traditionally hard to pick, here are a couple of reasons why.

1. They are usually quite injury prone

2. It is hard to find good (80+) average ruckmen

3. The good ruckmen eg. cox are expensive

4. Tend to go missing at times eg. Sanderlands

Now cox for example, is a great dter, he plays like an onballer, only with hit outs adding a bonus 25 to his score. The only concern is injury (see problem 1). Cox definately plays to his asking price, just keep an eye on his fitness in terms of injury. Due to the injury risk, I like the look of Special K as a walk up reserve, or depending on NAB cup form…… a potential starter. The kid runs 15 in the beep test, looks very agile and it also looks like he will be rested or change throughout games in the foward line. There is nothing better for a dt coach than a player resting up foward and scoring a bonus 12 for a Mark (3), Kick (3) and Goal(6). I think Special K could be a mini cox in the making over the next few years and a solid contributor this year. Keep an eye on the NAB to determine if he is worthy of a starting spot, or if you have enough money to find a bench spot for what im guessing will be an expensive rookie.

Posted by Roy | 5 Comments »

Our friend Monty over at one of the greatest DT sites going around, FanFooty.com.au, has just launched what every diehard Dream Team fan wants at this stage of the season… the Fanplanner! Check this… select your 2008 DT right now with the estimated (yet probably accurate) prices and positions for every AFL player using last years salary cap. For more details (and info on some players who missed a fair chunk of ‘07) check out Monty’s post on Big Footy. So, what are you waiting for…. get on the Fanplanner right now!!

Posted by Warnie | No Comments »

the quote: “barry hall, or barry small as i call him”- uncle chop chop

heads up chop, thats all i can say… he looks much better with the gloves than he did leading out of full foward at the end of last year!!

ps. was i on the ball about goodes and roberts-thompson when i was in sydney or what?!?

(see epic inside info article)

Goodes-cost 330 or so. looking very fit and ripped, slow starter last year which can leave the question….is it better to wait for a potential drop, or do you rate him as a top liner and consistent enough to hold that price?

must have scale: 6.5/10

Bazza- killed me and vin last year, he will cost about 270. as vin said, you couldnt trade that &%$# for a bag of mixed lollies at the moment.

must have scale: 3/10

Roberts thompson- looking slow and nerdy. will cost whatever you have lying on the car floor. dont overpay eg, if you find enough for a happy meal, BUY THE MEAL.

must have scale: pfft/10

Posted by Roy | 1 Comment »

I was thinking the other day. “Why do ugly people suck?” Then I made up a team of bad Dream Team players with bad heads. AHH gross!!!!! Look away - it’s Cal’s DTug Captain, Cameron Ling!!!Backs:
Zac Dawson (HAW), Darren Milburne (GEE), Robert Murphy (WBD)

Half Backs:
Josh Thurgood (HAW), Troy Luff (SYD), Nathan Bock (ADE)

Centres:
Cameron Ling (GEE - Capt.), Damien Peverill (ESS), Brady Rawlings (KAN), Brodie Holland (COL)

Rucks:
Damien Monkhurst (COL), Troy Simmons (RIC)

Half Forwards:
Lewis Roberts-Thompson (SYD), Quentin Lynch (WCE), Terrorhawk

Forwards:   
Jeff Farmer (FRE), Frasier Gehrig (STK - Vice Capt), Alan Didak (COL)Interchange:
Dale Thomas (COL), Barry Hall (SYD), Lance Whitnall (CAR), Jack Riewoldt (RIC), Rowan Jones (WCE)

Coach: Dean “Junkyard dog” Laidly (KAN)

Apologies to: Milburne, Murphy, Simmons, Hall and Bocky (I guess), for being the only players with a touch of talent amongst this ugly lot, which goes without saying….

Ugly heads make ugly players!

Did I miss anyone??…bet I did….just let old Vin Vin know! Or better still tell us your DTug Side!

Posted by Calvin | 5 Comments »

With the assistance of the smart dudes at Football Salvation (they discovered a formula to approximate next years prices) I decided to pick a few random names in my head, and check them in a little more detail. By risky players, I mean the players that are going to cost you some coin, but have to potential to be your hero or (dt heaven forbid)……… your numb nut zero. I will pick some guys as I go, some may be coming back from injury, change of coach, change of team, change of team mate, i dunno, ill just talk about some dudes to give you something to read for 5 mins.

Adam Yze (pictured in the magoos)-  Funny name, funny player. He can be one of the best dters in the game on his day. Two weeks later he can be kicking the Stewart Dew off the ground in the seconds. He is 30, (is he too old to improve?) last year he managed only 8 games… so that would suggest to go no where near him, especially at a projected price of 308, 000. He missed games through both injury and more so, being dropped. Not usually a guy I would look at, however, an average of 80 last year with a coach that didn’t rate him, and now, a new coach that has put him vice captain…..the only way is up baby…. Or is it? 

Travis Johnstone- Down at fraggle rock (clap clap), grab travis Johnstone by the cock, swing him round your head, this fraggle is far from dead!! Look for a new lease of life from TJ as a lion. Far less pressure with the likes of lappa, Adcock, power, black etc, flying the flag and copping the tags. Tj had 45 touches or so in is last game, the kid can play. Only managed a piss poor average of 77 from 15 games last year with some horrid scores in that. Will be at a bargain basement price of 303. He sounds like a sure bet, however, is there room in the stacked lion midfield….. will they throw him on a flank….. tough call.

Nick Stevens- Now Nick is roughly estimated to cost between 290-310 depending on what the powers that be decide about his return from injury. Last year he was averaging just under 80 whilst copping the number 1 tag. Apparently the blues have some new guy that may take some attention off stevo, I think they call him juddy or something. A tough call due to the return from a serious injury, and the amount of big ball winners around him. Midfield for carltoncould have the likes of judd, carazzo, murph, brice pfft, Scotland, simpson etc. With the blues set to play more defensive this year, don’t expect the huge dt scores from the boys last year in the shitty thrashings they copped each week. Ask Jonno Brown!! See http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8b4KcM4ajHk

Nathan Bock- Will he play back?, will he play forward? Will he actually get the bloody ball and score any freaking points in the game where you are playing tackling tit head and need bocky to score a measly 30!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Aaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh, sorry, I got carried away with a personal issue between me and the bockster last year. Same as always, bockster is a legend, and shit dter. Average 70, price 270. That’s not actually that bad, im seriously a chance to get back on board!! Toot toot the bock train!!

Mystery player- There is a guy tackling tit head mentioned to me the other day that is back from injury. Tit said im not allowed to write this guy otherwise he will throw his fist at me. As his fist looks like a wrecking ball, ill keep it to myself. 

Roy (Bock lover)

Posted by Roy | 5 Comments »

ok, stick with me for a minute, im gassed but wanna let you know some goss. i am in sydney at the moment (a little far away from my ideal dt preseason, but thought i can still make the most of it). i went for a run the other day and came across goodsey and roberts-thompson doing sprints. now goodsey struggled early last year, then came good, so it is understandable if you have him in the question mark column. well, i can say now, put him straight up the the “most likely column” ouch, he was running some serious times and looked good. as you could imagine, i was coming to the end of a 10km run in 30+ heat so i wasnt exactly hooking, yet i was still making old rob-tom look slow and unco, so even if you have him in the “not in a pink fit category” take him out of it. he should not have a category unless its alongside digbe morell- the dud carlton pick up a few years ago who hated getting dt points. (sorry about the spelling diggers, i just cant justify opening a google page and typing in your name to check. especially when it will probably say “did you mean diggedy moron”) warney-can you post a reply to this with some diggers stats for me to laugh at pleeeeeease haha. if by some chance kouta comes out of retirement….. get onnnnnnn it!! i went the the filming of the new gladiators series today, kouta owned the pyramid!! i waved my kouta banner with pride and im almost a sure thing to get my dttalk top on episode 3 or 4 (fingers crossed). tom williams (the guy all the chicks love, and new host) couldnt get enough of the dttalk tshirt and we had a good chat off air. he was rating koutas work as well as just rating life “everything was just eeeeepic” in toms words. just when i was getting him to do the dt intro, a fat security lady that thought she was a man tried to steal my camera off me because they were banned. i will be able to reveal some of the footage next episode!! well, good dting every1, oh, oh ps…. 2 days after my first run, i went again and almost all of the swans were training. my biggest mistake last year “barry hall or barry small as chop called him” looked awesome and was holding overhead marks….yes vin, he seriously held them and looked strong. roberts thomson still looked shit

roy

Posted by Roy | 5 Comments »